apartment building 2 ballerinas TIME to REFILL Your VAL1UM Prescription .

Last night I attended a birthday party for one of my former co-workers (when I worked at the TV production company). He's a great guy and he's got a cool girlfriend and very nice dog, but I felt kind of guilty for walking around being a little green monster all night. First of all, he has the dream Geek house. The upstairs is presentable and nice; the perfect combination of “adult” furniture with interesting “accent pieces” (who watches too much Queer Eye?). Then, as you head downstairs, the hallways are lined with old movie posters. The stairway opens up into a huge rec room which is fantastic. There's an old arcade game, a red, full-sized pool table, a bizarre japanese slot game, nick-knacks a plenty, and a juke box that plays 45's (great 80's classics!). All over the walls are awesome old movie posters. In the back is a full bar in a retro style. As if that isn't enough, further back in the basement is the TV room which has a huge comfy couch, a giant flat screen TV and every DVD on my Amazon.com wish list. I guess the professional editing gig pays well. So yeah, I'm envious of all that “stuff” which is horribly consumerist of me. But I can get over it. The thing that really burned me was job envy. Another one of my former co-workers showed up, along with 3 new people who were hired after I got the sack. They talked about work all night (as people are wont to do). They complained about the long shoots, of course, and things not going right. But their problems at work consist of guests not saying the right thing on camera or the trebuchet not throwing the piano that's on fire far enough. When I worked at this place, I hated my job because I had THE boss from hell (“Swimming with Sharks” anyone?), but everyone else was great. Here's how bad my boss was: A former employee of his is “The View”'s Lisa Ling. When she was asked who her worst boss was, she named my former boss on television. ANYWAY, my point is this: Even though I was always stressed out at that job, and that boss was horrible to me, even though my current boss is really nice, at least when I worked there I was in the BALLPARK of the kind of work I want to do. Right now I'm about as far away from making movies for a living as you can get. And doing it in my spare time is one thing. But if I ever want to make a career out of it (which I GODDAMNED do!), it's gonna be difficult when I spend nine hours a day here answering the phone and doing useless crap.
No matter. Faye and I are going to get our zombie movie made and we're going to get the hell out of our stupid monkey jobs! YEAH! yeah?


Meme-ories Pt. 2


Rediculous. That is way too broad. Especially since I've been to two colleges now. So I'll just say this: I miss school. I miss having very little responsibility and being able to stay up late drinking on a Wednesday and make it to my 8:00am class the next morning with no hangover. I miss Spring Break. Being an adult sucks.


1)My 16th. I smoked my first joint and I made a vow to lose my virginity by the end of the year, which I did.
2)My 21st, of course. I went to The Owl & Thisle, everyone bought me drinks, and I had a fantastic time. Drinking in a bar was every bit as cool as I'd suspected it was.


Rather anticlimactic, actually. I was a year younger than everyone in my grade so I took driver's ed a year before I could take my test. I got my learner's when I was 16 and my parents told me that I wouldn't be able to take the car out by myself till my senior year anyway, so I figured there was no point getting my license till then. So I was 17 when I got my license and everyone else had been driving for 2 years. Turns out I'm a terrible driver anyway so now I do it as little as possible


I was dropping hints like crazy to this guy in college. I had just broken up with a boyfriend of two years (and by “just broken up” I mean it was several months later and I had finally been able to stop crying long enough to try and find a rebound. I found one in this silly little freshman, thinking it would be pretty easy. I just wanted to make out with him a few times and be done with it. Well, my hinting was fruitless, so finally, I just told everyone I knew to tell him that if he wanted, I would make out with him, no strings. He started flirting with me all the time but STILL nothing ever happened and he avoided all situations in which we could be alone together. So I gave up. Just about that time, my senior year was almost over and he came to a graduation party at my friend's house. After everyone was asleep, and we were lying on the couch, he made his move. It was a horrible disaster and was over in 10 minutes (I might be being liberal with the time). Luckily, I never really had to see him again after that. Worst. Rebound. Ever.


Just had a blast in Eastern Washington at the Stabbin' Cabbin. See previous journal entry.


Dallas, TX (baby), Beaverton, OR (2-4), Huntsville, AL (4-8), Flower Mount, TX (8), Richmond, VA (9-17), Tacoma, WA (17-22), London, UK (22), Seattle, WA (23-present).


Mostly through college or through film projects. Come on, you all know how I met you guys.




My first organized kiss was playing spin the bottle at Hippie Camp. I was 14. His name was Daniel. He liked my friend. A few days later, a 13 year old named Robbie kissed me on his own accord after the square dance. He later gave me poison ivy.


Jesus. This won't be fun for anyone to read so I'll try to keep in breif. I babysat in high school. I worked at a B&B my freshman year of college. I worked for food services in college. I tempted at a billion places after college, including whilst in London, I worked for 5 minutes at a TV production company in Seattle that makes stupid reality shows. Then I got the sack and now I work in my present version of hell.

I liked part 1 of this a lot better.

scooby snack 5 curses

My weird cold has mutated once again. Now my throat doesn't hurt at all, really, but I'm up all night coughing. This morning I woke up and one of my eyes was crusted shut and when I opened it, it was all bloodshot. Gross, I know. I'm not sure how many more incarnations this thing is going to take before it decides to finally leave me.
I am not happy about being here at work either. Yesterday, after lunch, everyone (led by the tiniest little dictator) began to scrutinize my workspace once again. Now, I am the receptionist so my desk is just hanging out there for everyone to see. However, it is not a proper reception desk, and is, in fact, the smallest, crappiest desk in the office. Therefore, it doesn't look very nice when a client walks in. The notion of us being able to BUY a new desk is unlikely because we have a hard enough time just getting the budgeting people (in Portland) to let us have an extra chair for the conference room. So instead, everyone was trying to figure out “free” solutions to making my area better. 'Lil Dictator said “Why don't we take all this stuff and move it to the table behind you?” She was gesturing towards all the papers and files on my desk that are my WORK. “Because that's my WORK,” says I. “Oh, well, what if we put it all on a credenza over in that corner?” Is she serious? “Because that's my WORK and I still need to be able to answer the phone and greet clients,” says I. “Oh.” After they moved the candy dish, put my garbage can in the corner far away from me, re-arranged my files and and tried to get me to move my computer monitor to about 2 inches away from my face, they decided that one of them should swap desks with me since no one ever sees THIER desks. But of course, no one WANTED to swap because then they would have the smaller, crappier desk. So they argued amongst themselves for a while, still standing right next to me so I wasn't getting any work done. Finally, they decided that one of them would switch with me and then they would switch amongst each other and then everyone would be marginally happy. But who will do the moving. I bet it will be me, the ass monkey. This whole process took about 2 and a half hours in which no one was doing any actual work. What will today have in store. I can't wait to find out.

Meme-ories Pt. 1

This one is kind of long and involved (or at least it has the potential to be) so I'm going to break it up over two days.



We were learning about Columbus and so we put on a little “play”. I played one of the ships and to get to the New World, we sat indian style on the floor and propelled ourselves across the room with our arms. It seems a little weird in hindsight.


A boy liked me and I didn't like boys yet. He asked me to marry him. I told him marriage was yucky. Funny how some things never change.


We learned to print and my teacher told me my handwriting looked like “chicken scratch”. I think it probably still does. Also, at that time I was starting to write with my left hand but I could also use my right pretty well. My teacher said that I needed to use my right hand because left handed people have hard lives. That doesn't make any sense now, but at the time I believed her and now my left hand is useless.


I was still bringing my stuffed beaver, Bucky to school with me and the other kids made fun of me for acting like a “baby”. So I left Bucky at home. Later, I lost Bucky in a hotel room.


I cut my finger open on a cat food can. It was a really bad cut and I had to go to the emergency room and get the tip of my finger sewed on (you can still see the scar). It happened to be my middle finger. I was trying to show the wound to the boy I was sitting next to and for some reason, I put down all my other fingers when I showed it to him, not realising it would look, to other people, that I was flipping him off. A kid named Kenneth was seated on the other side of the room and shouted to the teacher “Jessica's flipping Chad off!!”. I was extremely embarassed, but thankfully didn't get in any real trouble, once I explained to the teacher what was actually happening, and Chad, sweet boy that he was, vouched for me.


I was in 3 different schools during this year. The first school was this “alternative” school. They had this punishment where you had to stand up straight and hold x amount of encyclopedia volumes for a x amount of time, depending on what you were being punished for. It seemed like they were dishing these punishments out for stupid reasons (I finally got nabbed for not cleaning up my space fast enough to start the next activity). Turns out kids started complaining to parents and parents got all up in arms that this was “cruel and unusual” punishment and the school got shut down. My next school that year was another “alternative” school that got shut down for lack of funding. Then I went to public school for 2 months and then we moved.


This was my one full year in public school. At the time I was greatful to get out of there, but now I have no idea which would have been better. All I know is I started puberty during fifth grade and things started getting really horrible. Before this, I was one of the boys. Very tomboy. After this, maybe because of the boobs, they boys didn't want to hang out with me and neither did most of the girls because I didn't like girly things. ANYWAY, what stands out from fifth grade is the fact that I got my first crush on a boy named Derek who was nice to me sometimes. I made the mistake of telling another girl and she immediately told EVERYONE. After that, Derek didn't talk to me either. Although I found out later (in high school) that he did like me but was too embarassed since I wasnt one of the popular kids. I was very careful about keeping crushes to myself for a long time after that. Which is probably why everyone thought I was a lesbian in high school.


New school. Very small private school. I was excited because I could make a fresh start and hopefully get some new friends. I was through trying to be friends with the boys. Things started out fine too until the weather warmed and we started dressing out for gym in shorts. I had hairy legs but hadn't started shaving because my mother said I wasn't old enough. The first day in the locker room, one of the “prettiest” girls pointed at me and said loudly “Ew! When's the last time you shaved?!” Of course, everyone looked at me and said “Ew!” and there was nothing I could do. That night, I stole one of my mom's razers and started shaving.


There was this particularly mean girl named Emily. She loved to go out of her way to be a bitch to me despite the fact that I was always nice to her. She had a birthday party and literally invited everyone in the class apart from me (there were only, like, 10 of us). One of these people was my best friend so I was pretty bummed that I didn't get an invitation. My friend thought maybe it was a mistake so she asked Emily if I could go and Emily said very loudly so that everyone, including the teacher, could hear “Hell no! I don't want that geek at my party!”. She got in trouble for swearing. Ha!


New school once again. The famed Catholic school which I attended through high school. Once again, I was hoping to make a fresh start and fit in, but it just wasn't in the cards. I even went shopping at The Gap and bought, what I thought, was “normal” clothes. But I guess I picked the wrong ones because right away people looked at me weird. I can't think of any particular memory from this year. Just the fact that the realisation hit that not only was it impossible for me to fit in with these people, but that I didn't WANT to fit in with them because they were horrible people. All they cared about were clothes and hair. Also, I was just starting to become aware my political views and how they definitely differed from these other people. How could I be friends with a bunch of right wing assholes? Fuck em.


I went shopping once again over the summer and bought clothes that I liked and felt comfortable in. We had a dress code, and even a uniform, but we didn't have to wear the uniform if we wore clothes that fit within the dress code. No shorts. Only dress pants. No t-shirts. No clothes with printing on them unless they were the name of our school. I managed to find some pretty weird shit that still fell within these guidlines. Also, they didn't say anything about shoes apart from “no sneakers” so I got my first pair of Doc Martens and wore them every day. Even though this was 1992, no one in Virginia had seen these shoes before. They were shocked and I was revelling in freaking them out. Regardless, they still picked on me whenever possible. I was still a little chubby so they had that fodder. We didn't have locks on our lockers because we were on “The Honor System” so I would find mean notes in my locker, and occasionally, dog biscuits.


We took “comparative religion”. I saw my chance. I chose to study Satanism in an attempt to build myself up as a force not to be reckoned with. When the time came for Q & A, hands shot up. “So do you practice Satanism?”. I pleaded the fifth. Even though my nickname was thereafter “Satan”, they didn't fuck with my locker anymore.


I got my first boyfriend. He was a “public school” kid with green hair but he had just graduated from high school. One day, he drove to school in his Bug and we ate lunch together. I got some cool points for that. Even though a bunch of jocks walked by us and yelled “hey, I didn't know it was Halloween!”. Yes, these were a clever lot.


Fun fun fun! I had lots of friends from other schools, so my weekends were always full. My best friend and I skipped class all the time and went to Borders (where she would steal CD's for us). No one really bothered me anymore. I was editor of the yearbook, so I finally got to put a whole bunch of pictures of me and my friends in there and unflattering pictures of people I hated. I was voted “worst dressed” on the senior poll. I revelled in it. And I was happy as a clam because I knew I was graduating, moving to Washington, and I would never have to see any of those fuckheads again. The only thing that sucked was that I finally confessed my love for my long time crush/friend Michael Cross, only to be shot down because he “thought of me as a sister”. Doh!

Tomorrow: Life After High School (As if that even exists:)

Live Well

I definitely consider myself “city folk” so it's easy for me to forget how nice it is to get away from it all as well. The Stabbin' Cabbin promised much and delivered on every level. There were a few outside forces attempting to put a damper on the weekend (Case in point: Redneck cops pulled Dom over TWICE because he was “speeding” through poorly marked “towns”. Visions of Texas Chainsaw Massacre(the original, of course) and various other movies involving homicidal inbred people danced through our heads). But no matter, we made it to the cabin without being roasted like chicken at a gas station. Unfortunately, my cough was/is still acting up so that kept me from staying up late Saturday night to watch the Aurora Borealis with everyone, but I still managed to have a great time and do all KINDS of fun things. Like swim in a lake, explore a burned out mill, hang out on the porch and look at the great view, eat some “brownies”, go swimming again, play games, eat Elyse's veggie kabobs, watch Zoolander, eat Nachos, see turkeys and a mule, ride in the back of a truck, listen to ghost stories, eat more delicious food, drink beer and much much more. It was jampacked with fun but I still felt totally relaxed the whole time. It was really amazing.
Thank you Gene and Gene's family for letting us stay there. Thank you Roxy for having a birthday. Thank you first redneck cop for not giving us a ticket. Fuck you second redneck cops for pulling us over for having liberal stickers on our car and for not driving a truck. Thank you nature for being there. And finally, thank you maniacal butterfly clowns for not eating us. Amen.

spamless Blues

So my email server SUCKS and my email is down right now. The spam has undoubtedly been piling up in my inbox since yesterday afternoon and I am powerless to erase it. (I probably get about 500 pieces of spam in a 24 hour period. Yet another reason why my email server sucks. No spam filter). As long as I can get in there and delete some spam before I leave tonight for the Stabbin' Cabbin, I will be happy, because I shudder to think what it all would look like if I've gone 4 days without deleting any spam.

ANYWHO, as I mentioned just now, I am going to the Stabbin' Cabbin this weekend for Roxy’s birthday. In attendance will be the Brunswicks, the Illustrious Meep, Pamelor, Dom, and of course, the fabulous Elyse and Gene. Thank you to Gene for having a dad with a Stabbin' Cabbin. It will no doubt be a rip roaring, debaucherous good time and I can't wait. I hope I can get out of work early today (we can usually go home early on Fridays) because there are a MILLION things I have to do before I leave (including stock up on Claratin and purchase a cooler in which to place boca burgers and beer).

The unfortunate thing is that I'm still ailing from the World's Most Bizarre Sore Throat. At 5 am, I woke up choking on mucus and had to sit upright for a few minutes and drink water to get it down. Gross, I know. And today I am still coughing and now suffering from allergies as well. However, this CAN NOT dampen my spirits, as this weekend will rock and roll like few others.

The Alpha-bitch

I stole this one from someone and changed most of the questions because they were boring. These might not be any better, but I tried. It's not as easy as one might think.

Animal you would be? A housecat. Hands down.
Born on what day of the week? Friday, baby! TGIJ!
Can you roll your tongue? No. Recessive gene.
Daring thing you did? Shamelessly threw myself at Dom when I wasn't even sure if he knew my name.
Ear lobe nibbling. Sexy or not? Definitely yes.
Frankenstein or The Wolf Man? Wolf Man.
Goal for the next year of your life? Save money! Or not gain any more weight.
Handsomest James Bond? Connery.
Is Justin Timberlake gay? As a gay dollar bill.
Joke. Tell me one. What's Black and White and Red all over? An embarassed panda.
K is for kill. What would drive you to murder? Animal Cruelty
Link. Post a fun one here. http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0721041plate1.html
Macauley or Kieran? Kieran!
Newest CD you bought/stole? I just got The Cure b-sides 4 disc set from the library.
Over or under for toilet paper? Over!
Pee'd in the pool? A few times. Lucky for you, I don't go swimming very often.
Quote you like from the Simpsons? “Your Newberry Award won't save you now!”
Religious affiliation (if you HAD to pick)? Paegan
Sound you like? A beer opening.
Terrible thing you did? Threw away my boss's mail from the Republicans
Unique talent? Remembering useless trivia about the entertainment industry.
What's the worst pop song that's popular right now? The Milkshake Song
Xxylophone music? Yes! Violent Femmes.
Year old you were when you learned about sex? 3. I found my brother's “Where do I come from” book, saw the illustrated pictures and thought it was for me. I don't think I fully understood it for a while after that, but it definitely stayed with me.
Zodiac Sign? Virgo. That one's boring but I couldn't think of another Z.