visag executri

Another random-number-of-questions meme.

Is anyone else having an EXTREMELY difficult time concentrating on work this week?

1)How old do you wish you were?
25 forever.

2)Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Getting ready for work. Meep called me from Wenatchee and told me to turn on the TV..

3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Swear, hit the machine a few times and then, if there’s no one around, just wander off hungry and disappointed. If there’s someone to try and get a refund from, however, I will definitely do that.

4) Do you consider yourself kind?
Sure.

5) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
Done.

6) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Italian.

7) Do you know your neighbors?
Not yet. I am intimately acquainted with their footsteps, however.

8)What do you consider a vacation?
Any day when I don’t have to come to work.

9) Do you follow your horoscope?
Nope.

10) Would you move for the person you love(d)?
It really all depends. There are many places I WOULDN’T move though.

11) Are you touchy feely?
I CAN be. I can also NOT be.

12) Do you believe that opposites attract?
In a way. It’s not quite that simple though.

13) Dream job?
Eli Roth.

14) Favorite channel(s)?
Comedy Central, VH1, Sci-Fi, FX, Animal Planet, Bravo

15) Favorite place to go on weekends?
Bed.

16) Showers or Baths?
Shower.

17) Do you paint your nails?
Very rarely. But it happens.

18) Do you trust people easily?
I like to think that I can, yes. But certain types of people instill suspicion in me.

19) What are your phobias?
Elevators, strangulation.

20) Do you want kids?
Not unless something in me changes.

21) Do you keep a handwritten journal?
I have several from my past but I haven’t opened them in a long time. The blog has replaced them. Which is good because I am a lot less tempted to write embarrassing stuff in my blog.

22) Where would you rather be right now?
Outside.

23) Who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
Tobe.

24) Heavy or light sleep?
Light unless I’m drunk.

25) Are you paranoid?
Yeah.

26) Are you impatient?
Yep.

27) Who can you relate to?
Rob Gordon and Lenore.

28) How do you feel about interracial couples?
Same as I feel about any couple, really.

29) Have you been burned by love?
As a 27-year-old human, I have to answer yes.

30) What's your life motto?
Be nice. Everybody has bad days.

31) What's your main ringtone on your mobile?
Shpadoinkle Day.

32) What were you doing at midnight last night?
Trying to fall asleep.

33) Who was your last text message from?
Sherwood.

34) Who's bed did you sleep in last night?
Mine.

35) What color shirt are you wearing?
Black.

37) Name three things you have on you at all times?
phone, chap stick, wallet

38.) What color are your bed sheets?
Red.

39) How much cash do you have on you right now?
$52

40) What is your favorite part of the chicken?
The cuddly part.

41) What's your favorite town/city?
SeaTown.

42) I can't wait till:?
The weekend!

43) Who got you to join myspace?
Frank.

44) What did you have for dinner last night?
Leftover pasta.

45) How tall are you barefoot?
5 foot nuthin’

46) Have you ever smoked heroin?
Sort of.

47) Do you own a gun?
Only the toy version.

48) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Water and tea.

49) What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Vag.

50) Do you have A.D.D.?
I’m sorry, what?

51) What time did you wake up today?
6:45

52) Current worry?
Numerous.

53) Current hate?
Uniformed judgments.

54) Favorite place to be?
Under a warm, shining sun.

55) Where would you like to travel?
Anywhere I haven’t yet been, really. With few exceptions, mostly involving the Midwestern United States.

56) Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
Too scary to think about. But I know where I HOPE I’ll be.

57) last thing you ate?
Toast.

58) What songs do you sing in the shower?
Whatever is in my head at the moment.

59) Last person that made you laugh?
My boss.

60) Worst injury you've ever had?
My knees are a perpetual injury so I guess that’s pretty bad.

61) Does someone have a crush on you?
Hope so.

62) What is your favorite candy?
Cadbury Cream Eggs.

63) What song do you want played at your funeral?
Some good Irish drinking songs.

Combined we stand.

10 short questions for a gloomy Thursday.

1) If you could only repent for one thing when you die, what one thing would you choose?
If it turned out I had to repent, I suppose, I would repent for not believing in repentance. Sorry, God. My bad.

2) If you could talk to anyone in the world by phone, who would you choose?
They don’t have an email address? Then I don’t need to talk to them.

3) If, like the milk or the newspaper, you could have anything delivered to your front doorstep each and every day, what would it be?
Chai.

4) If you could have your voice sound like any other person, living or alive, who would that be and why?
Living OR alive? Such a broad spectrum. If we’re talking singing voice, Kim Shattuck from the Muffs. Speaking voice: Cate Blanchette.

5) Which month of the year do you think best describes your personality?
While I don’t particularly subscribe to astrology, I am 100% a Virgo type personality and therefore I shall choose September.

6) If you could make $100 a day by avoiding physical contact of any kind with another human being, how much money do you think you’d be able to make before you cracked?
$200 tops.

7) How much do the words “I love you” mean to you? Do you throw the word “love” around a lot? For example, if someone made a hilarious comment, might you exclaim “I love you!” while laughing, or are those words more sacred?
Your phrasing is strange but I see what you’re getting at. I do not throw the words around, no. But hyperbole is often unavoidable. For instance: “I LOVE the Starbucks breakfast sandwich!” does not necessarily mean that I want to marry it.

8) If everyone of your preferred gender suddenly disappeared from the face of the planet, would you prefer to switch teams or become celibate?
After a period of mourning over losing almost all of my friends, I would definitely switch teams. However, reading “The Last Man” series would have perhaps given me some false hope. (Although I haven’t finished it yet…so maybe there is no hope even in fiction?)

9) Would you be willing to donate your sperm/eggs for money, or just to help out couples who are unable to conceive?
If it weren’t as hard on the body and time consuming as I’ve heard it is to donate eggs, I would do it. However, I would want to make sure that the dad had some pretty strong genes to counteract my gimpy tendencies.

10) Do you think you could be genuinely happy being single for the rest of your life? (This is assuming that you just never meet/met mr./ms. right, not that something awful happened).
Only if everything else in my life (career, friends, money) was in line. So…probably not.

confidential to the women of my generation

Please say no to the Gaucho. If you must wear highwater pants, go with the capris. They will still hug your butt and thighs in a flattering way, giving you a sexy look combined with the exposed calves you've always wanted. But Gauchos always look frumpy, ill fitting, and, at times, rediculous. Even if they're “dress” Gauchos. Even if you're America's Next Top Whathaveyou. Frump city. You're so pretty. Why would you want to hide that under some floppy pants? Surely there are other ways to aerate your crotch.

If you are doing yoga, you are given a Gaucho allowance IF you INSIST that you need that much movement in your fabric. But otherwise, I deem them unacceptable. That is all.

we have undertook…

Supposedly, this is a meme for “adults”, gleaned from myspace. Apparently, adults are primarily concerned with bills, chores, drinking and sex. Sounds about right.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Credit Card

2. What's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
Park or beach.

3. Last time you Puked from Drinking (Details)?
Austin, March 2006. Details very well documented in previous blog entry.

4. When is the last time you got drunk and woke up in a strange place?
Never done that.

5. Name of your First Grade Teacher?
Can’t remember.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Being done unpacking.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A vet or a journalist.

8.How many colleges did you attend before you settled on the one you graduated from?
Just the one.

9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
Because it wasn’t dirty.

10. Gas Prices! First Thought?
Glad I don’t have a car.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would you go and who would you take?
I just finished moving so the thought of doing it again is not at all pleasant. Besides, I already live in the city I want to live in.

12. First Thought When the alarm went off this morning?
Crap. It’s only Tuesday.

By the way, what’s with All the random capitalization In this meme?

13. Last thought before Falling asleep last night?
I am so damned tired, falling asleep should be a piece of…

14. Favorite style of Underwear?
Bikini briefs.

15. Favorite style of Underwear for the opposite sex?
Boxers.

16. What Errand/Chore do you despise?
Picking up my clothes.

17. If you didn't have to work would you?
I certainly wouldn’t work in an office. I would use my freedom to pursue non-fruitful career choices. And wouldn’t at all complain if they eventually made me money.

18. Sex or Sleep?
Why must I choose?

19. Your Favorite Cartoon Character?
Optimus Prime.

20. Favorite non sexual thing to do at night with a girl/boy?
Be lazy.

21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
I only keep secrets that I don’t want everyone to know about. I know, weird, huh?

22. What was your First Car?
’89 Volvo station wagon.

23. Your Best Your Mamma Joke?
Your mamma is so fat that she has atherosclerosis.

24. Your Favorite Lunch Meat?
Deli style soy unicorn.

25. What do you get everytime you go into a WAWA?
The waha?

26. Beach Or Lake?
Beach

27. Do you think Marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at 20?
Not exactly, but I definitely have other issues with the concept.

28. Who do you Stalk on myspace?
Comedians.

29. Favorite Guilty Pleasure?
Bad supernatural dramas.

30. Favorite Movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about?
I am not ashamed of loving bad cinema so this probably doesn’t apply to me.

31. What's your drink?
I like vodka-based drinks. And Cook’s campagne.

32. Cowboys or Indians?
Indians.

33. Cops or Robbers?
Robbers.

34. Do you cheer for the bad guys?
Not always, but often. Especially when they’re played by Gary Oldman.

35. What Hollyood star do you think resembles you best?
I frequently hear Patricia Arquette.

36. If you had to pick one which cast member of Lost would you be?
I don’t watch Lost anymore, but from the time that I did, I would go with Shannon because she got to make out with Sayid and then she got to die and didn’t have to be on that crappy show anymore.

37. What do you want when you are sick?
Malt-o-meal and bananas or ritz crackers and juice.

38. Who from High School would you like to run into?
Michael Cross.

39. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
Don’t have a car, but I listen to indie 103.1 on the internet at work.

41. Stiffler or Oz?
Oz, but only if you mean the werewolf from Buffy. Otherwise, I don’t have a preference.

42. Norm or Cliff?
Totally don’t care.

43. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?
Simpsons

44. Worst Relationship Mistake that you wish you could take back?
Giving a known asshole a second chance.

45. Do you Like the Person who sits directly across from you at work?
The person is a wall. And you know what? That wall is a FANTASTIC conversationalist.

46. If you could get away with it who would you kill?
The terrorists. I’m told they are the source of all the world’s problems.

47. What Famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Crispin Hellion Glover. (I know, predictable response. But damnit, it’s true).

48. What famous Person would you like to sleep with?
Captain Tight Pants

49. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
No. Nor for its unintended purpose, but it could be fun.

50. Last book you read for real?
For really reals? I’m assuming you aren’t counting graphic novels so I will say “Superstud” by Paul Feig.

51. Do you have a teddy bear?
I have my dad’s old teddy bear, Fred and various other stuffed animals acquired over time and carrying too much sentimentality for me to be rid of them.

52. Strangest Place you have ever had sex?
North Carolina.

53. Strangest Place you have ever wanted to have sex?
Work.

54. How many times a day do you text?
4-5?

55. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or relationship?
Career.

56. Do you go to church?
Nope.

57. Pencil or Pen?
Pen.

58. Describe your favorite Day?
No responsibilities and the sun shining.

60. How many jobs have you had?
12 or so?

61. What would be your “dream job”?
E! True Hollywood Story.

62. What do you want to achieve in life?
Contentment.

It must be telepathy

Work is slow and I can’t seem to concentrate anyway, so please enjoy this random string of thoughts.

I think Tobe, while enjoying exploring the new digs, is pretty lonely. When I’m home, he’s been following me around EVERYWHERE in the apartment. I hope I can teach him how to play with some of his toys so that he doesn’t get too bored when I’m out. Hopefully, he won’t take his loneliness out on any of my stuff…with his urine of vengeance.

The apartment itself is coming together slowly. I still have a few boxes to unpack, but everything is pretty much laid out where I want it. It’s going to feel rather cramped in there, but perhaps that will inspire me to give up some of my vast media collection to make more room. Either that or I will continue to amass possessions until you will have to pry me from my media nest with the Jaws of Life.

I’m going to clean my part of the old place tonight. I’m not expecting our deposit back.

Melancholy day thanks to rain and sick rats. Send your love to Noel (and Faye) if you get a chance.

I wish Mark made all the memes

Thanks, MarkTapioKines.

1. What motion picture in your opinion is the “perfect movie” (doesn't have to be your favorite film)?
Zoolander. (Mark took my Back to the Future answer…also, BttF MIGHT be my favorite movie. But it's so hard for me to commit to just one.)

2. Which U.S. state do you think has the friendliest residents?
Austin. I know it's not a state, but it definitely felt different from the rest of Texas. Perhaps it should be emancipated.

3. What's the slobbiest thing about you/your behavior?
The clutter in which I choose to live.

4. What's the most anal, OCD thing about you/your behavior?
Writing EVERYTHING that I have to do in my day planner and making lists on top of that.

5. If you were thrown into a closet and had to eat your way through ONE foodstuff to get to the door, what would you choose?
One would hope the closet contained chips and salsa.

6. Have you ever met anybody born in the 19th century?
Nope. My granparents were born right at the beginning of the 20th.

7. What's the most expensive thing you've ever won?
I rarely win anything of value. The only thing that comes to mind is a Tenacious D LP. $15?

8. What is the oldest man-made thing in your house?
I believe it is my father's teddy bear, Fred. Fred is 60 and is looking quite worse for wear.

9. Do you think you look better now than you did when you were 21?
Not especially.

10. How many of your exes are married now?
Only one that I'm aware of. However, I only keep in touch with a handful. It's possible that a few of them are dead.

11. How many of your exes have kids?
None that I know of.

12. How many of your exes now “play for the other team”?
See above.

13. If you could bring one famous person back from the dead, who would you choose?
Buddy Holly. I would have loved to have seen how his music evolved in the 60's. However, I have a theory that he would have just become Elvis Costello before Declan MacManus had a chance to.

14. What musical instrument do you wish you could play really well?
Moog.

15. What foreign language do you wish you could speak fluently?
Italian. (Or Gaelic)

16. If you woke up tomorrow and could either speak that language or play that instrument, which would you choose?
The language would be more useful, of course. But the vanity in me would probably choose the moog.

17. What band do you wish had put out more albums during their existence?
Buddy Holly and The Crickets.

18. What household chore do you never get around to doing?
Washing my sheets. Gross, I know.

19. What household chore does it seem like you're doing all the time?
Scooping cat litter.

20. Put an “x” next to all of the following careers you think you'd be good at:
(X) doctor (only if I can be a plastic surgeon though).
() lawyer
() politician
() detective
() fashion designer
() teacher

tough choices

A fun little meme taken from Ahe’s myspace bulletin. Thanks, Ahe!

Would you rather fart in public or step in dog poo?
Farting, while perhaps more embarrassing (since the dog poo, supposedly, didn’t come from you), would be neater and over with quicker.

Were you born in the right time period?
I’ve often felt that I would have liked to live in the 50’s for the music, décor, cars and clothes. But had I grown up then, I probably wouldn’t be enjoying the full extent of personal freedoms that are available to women now. So I’ll just appreciate such things from THE FUTURE.

Have you ever failed a class?
Not officially. But I got a D in statistics in college, and since it was meant to satisfy my math core requirement, apparently a D doesn’t cut the mustard. I had to take the damn thing twice, fairing a C the second time. Math. Is. Hard.

Where do most of your calories come from?
Bread-based products.

Which would you rather fight, zombies or vampires?
Only The Slayer or someone who is into death-defying feats would pick vampires, whatwith vamps being super strong and fast. To quote Snow Day, Bloody Snow Day, zombies “really aren’t that hard to kill, and for a non-violent layperson as myself, that is a much more appealing foe.

What seven TV characters would you invite to dinner?
Spike, Young Lex Luthor, Davis, Veronica Mars, Anyanka, The Doctor, Jeri Blank.

What five literary characters would you like to receive a letter from?
Ignatius J. Reilly, Seymour Glass, Lestat de Lioncourt, Ford Prefect, Patrick Bateman.

Are you a leader or a follower?
If it’s something I’m interested in, I don’t mind leading. At work I’m a follower because I’m lazy.

Wolverine or Cyclops?
This should be a rhetorical question but since it’s not, Wolverine.

Compose your own haiku illustrating how you feel at this moment.
I hope that my work
Computer is no longer
Being monitored

What is your worst habit?
Forgetfulness.

What is your favorite animated movie?
The Fox and The Hound

Who would play you in the biopic based on your life?
Who would I want? Michelle Williams. Who would they pick? Probably Selma Blair. And she’d have to “bravely” gain a ton of weight for the role.

What was your favorite cartoon as a child?
Transformers.

Have you ever been a story on the news or in a newspaper?
Nope. But I had a brief stint as a youth correspondent for the junior page of my local paper.

What was your favorite TV station in grade school?
I suppose it was probably Nickelodeon. Or USA (Up All Night).

What do you think about the indoor smoking ban?
Well, I voted against it. That being said, I do enjoy not waking up smelling like smoke, but I don’t enjoy everyone at the table leaving me alone to go outside and have a cigarette at regular intervals.

Do you love anything that embarrasses you to admit, like romance novels or Eddie Murphy movies?
I love things that I perhaps SHOULD be embarrassed about. But I’m not ashamed of the joy I receive from the craptasticness of Tru Calling or Walker, Texas Ranger.

Getting Hairy

Tomorrow I will be cutting my Cat Power hair (reminiscent of Jessica at age 10) to a short, above-the shoulders do ( reminiscent of Jessica at age 5). I am doing this for a number of reasons.

1) It’s summer! Everyone sheds their winter hair for the warm weather. Even Dom said goodbye the beard.
2) It’s no secret that I can’t go for more than a month without changing my hair in some way.
3) In light of reason #2, my ends are none too pleased with me. I feel like the “before” model in a Garnier Nutrisse commercial.
4) Apparently, the older I get, the more I subconsciously attempt to look like a younger version of myself. This time next year, I will shave my head and acquire an umbilical cord implant.

In other hair news, today an MSN article backed my love for all men hairy.

2. She loves your hairy body—really!
Your what?! That’s right, go ahead and cancel that back-waxing appointment. A study at the Zoological Society of San Diego (of people!) revealed that women are more attracted to men with furry bods, regardless of the silhouette. Scientists theorize that body hair advertises good health and active hormones, making it a positive sign in the selection of a sexual mate. For further proof, just listen to Laura McNeely of Spring, Texas: “I always love noticing that a guy, especially a clean-cut one, has a little bit of chest hair sticking up out of his oxford shirt. It’s like saying, ‘I may have an uptight job, but there’s a caveman lurking inside.’”

Since MSN is clearly one of the most (if not THE most) reputable news sources on the net, I feel properly validated. Body hair sexpert Laura McNeely of Spring, Texas has spoken.