Let it Bea

Death is always sad, of course. But every once in a while, we’ll lose an actor or actress who really leaves a void. That is how I feel about Bea Arthur. She didn’t die young, but she always seemed young. Even when she starred in a series about old ladies. The Golden Girls is one of the view sitcoms from my youth that I still find fresh and hilarious. Moreso now, in fact, because I get all the dirty jokes. It’s the original Sex and the City but without all that ugly consumerism and pathetic pining. I always assumed I was a Rose but wanted to be a Dorothy. (I recently took a Facebook quiz which revealed me to be a Sophia, which is OK too.) But Dorothy rocked because she was played by such a badass. Bea Arthur was a badass in everything she did. Even her cameo in the Star Wars Christmas Special, as the bar matron of the Mos Eisley Cantina who sings her customers out at the door at last call. Somehow she, above all others in that special, was able to maintain an air of dignity in the midst of such silliness.

I’ll sincerely miss you, Bea Arthur. I hope there’s a Golden Girls marathon in my future. Nay, in all our futures.


Hard Times

Yep, we’re in a depression. And I am freelancing so that means that while I am basically just making lunch money, I am making too much money to qualify for unemployment. So I keep the house clean and I cook dinner every night to try and earn my keep. I’ve always been a quasi-feminist so I never had designs to become a full time housewife. But my husband is the only person who will hire me right now so that is what I am. If we had children, I wouldn’t mind so much. I would feel like I was at least contributing to the development of the future of the human race. But we have only cats. I’m trying not to get too depressed about it.

I’m also trying to not be such a financial drain on my wonderful, patient, hard-working and fortunately still gainfully employed husband. So I’ve made a decision. It’s a small gesture in the grand scheme of things but a pretty huge one in my world. But I feel it’s an important one. I’ve decided to stop cranking up the thermostat. I will put on a damn sweater and socks. I may even invest in a snuggie. Energy isn’t cheap. And as long as I am barely contributing monetarily to the family pot, I should stop being so indulgent.

Tales from a Newly Blue State

I just learned that (Democratic) Virginia Governor Tim Kaine, along with the Republican house leaders, introduced a bill that would ban smoking in public bars and restaurants. Of course, California started this and the rest of the world has been following suit. Washington did so several years ago and even though I opposed it at the time, (based on the 30-foot doorway rule) I have come to like it. But I have often said that Virginia will be the last state to do something like this. They have tried this before and it hasn’t passed. It may not pass this time either. But I am happy to hear that it might. Still, a quote in this article explains, besides the fact that Virginia and Philip Morris are synonymous, the reason why this thing will not be easy to pass.

You’re going to tell a guy who fought in the Battle of the Bulge that he can’t have a cigarette with his coffee at the VFW? You can’t do that.

Ah, Dixie. Still, if France can do it, Virginia has a chance. Good luck to Kaine and this bill!

Let the Sunshine In

This morning my New Age hippie mom sent me an email about the Age of Aquarius. Apparently, last night at 11:40 pm, the moon was in the 7th house and Jupiter aligned with Mars. This has happened before, of course, because the plants, they are always moving. But the fact that it is on February 13th-14th, while being entirely a coincidence, is still pretty cool for fans of the musical Hair (me and my mom) and for hippies in general (my mom). Love will steer the stars, ya’ll!

I had a really hard time finding any legitimate articles about this event. Every mention of it is on an asTROLOGy website. No real mention on the asTRONOmy side. But even if it doesn’t have any real world implications, I still think it’s neat.

I Support Sam Adams

No, not the award winning beer, although that does have a special place in my heart because of my father’s love for it.

I’m talking about the openly gay Portland mayor who slept with an 18-year old and then lied about it. But then he was busted and now people want him to resign. Now here’s the thing: Lying is absolutely wrong, especially when a politician does it, because they are our leaders and we should be able to trust them. But let’s face some facts, shall we?

1) Politicians are almost ALWAYS hiding something. They shouldn’t be. But they are. Maybe it’s something innocuous that has nothing, really, to do with their job (like having sex with a young co-worker) or maybe it’s something serious that has dire political implications (Watergate). But they are always hiding something. Possibly even our new president, though he seems to be pretty forthright about everything so far, including past drug use.

2) It wasn’t something serious. He had consensual sex with an (albeit barely) adult. Neither of them was married to anyone else. It’s perfectly legal, fine from a moral standpoint (depending on how you feel about workplace romances, I suppose), and none of our damned business.

3) Portland may have elected an openly gay mayor but it’s still not considered 100% OK to be gay in this country. It should be, but it isn’t. Do you think maybe he would have been more open about it if it had been an 18 year old girl? Or if Prop 8 hadn’t proven that this country is still filled with told-you-so bigots? I think he definitely would have been.

He should have stuck to his guns and told the truth (unlike Clinton). But he didn’t. It still has no bearing on his ability to serve (like Clinton) Portland in mayoral capacity.

Bret Michaels: Class Act

Last night on Rock of Love Bus, after discovering which of his potential true loves would be the most nurturing mother by having them use a baby doll in a bandanna into a hockey goal, Bret took the winners on a very romantic date. Where is the most romantic place Bret Michaels can think of to take a date? To the strip club, of course! Now, strip clubs can be a very sexy date destination and can spice up your love life. But normally couples just watch strippers together. Bret is a different class of gentleman. He doesn’t want to look at other strippers. He only wants to look at his beautiful date(s). So how does he tell them he thinks they are the most beautiful women in the room? He makes them BECOME the strippers.

Now, for some of these ladies, this was NOT a problem. They have plenty of experience in the Skank profession. But poor “tom boy” (so-called because she likes to wear actual clothes) Beverly didn’t feel comfortable getting friendly with the stripper pole and swapping bodily fluids with whatever was closest.

Beverly! Honey! What is WRONG with you? How can you ever expect a man to know you’re interested if you don’t slut it up for him on a stripper stage? She made the cut this time, but she really needs to step it up, lest he think she’s here for “the wrong reasons”.

Wreck of Love…LITERALLY

What was I just saying?. Apparently one of the Rock of Slut buses was in an accident, resulting in the fatalities of 2 teenage girls and the serious injuries of an elderly couple. I think we all now know what continuing to shoot and air this show will bring…


Portends Re: Rock of Love Bus

You may wonder why there were so many commercials for Herpecin during Rock of Love Bus. It is because you can contract herpes by simply WATCHING Rock of Love Bus. If you watched an episode in its entirety, chances are you now have eye herpes.

That completely insane extra draggy version of Daisy who had to be escorted off the set at the end of the pilot, now lives behind the studio dumpster and haunts the dreams of aspiring actresses who just moved to Hollywood from Deep River, Ontario.

When the final episode of Rock of Love Bus airs, it will open a portal to hell. Only Dean and Sam Winchester can stop this from happening.

Internet Meme Black Hole

If someone turns this Cakewreck Fail into a LOLCat, the blog on which it is posted will turn into a black hole and suck all of existence into it. Please don’t let that happen.

Is It Too Late to Change My Vote?

Yesterday, while I waited in a growing line at a Renton Subway, I overheard an irate man talking to the cashier/only sandwich artist in the joint, about Obama’s nefarious plans to tax small businesses until they go under and then give the money to black people. BLACK PEOPLE! Of all the people to give money to! I can’t believe there isn’t more press about this.

The cashier asked the man where he read about this conspiracy. “The internet,” he explained. She asked him to specify which sites. “Several different ones,” he specified. It’s pretty hard to argue with such prestigious sources. He assured her that her job would be safe because Subway is not, as far as he knows, a small business. However, everyone else is SCREWED! Wow. I had no idea Barack Obama was so evil. Small businesses are the foundation of democracy and black people definitely don’t need any more of our hard earned money.

That settles it. I’m moving to Renton where the people make more sense.