I'm worth $1,898,454.05! How much are you worth?
Somehow I thought it would be less than this. So I'm pleasantly surprised. I wonder how much money my double d's are worth and how much my worth will go down (or up) after December. Yes, that was a question in the quiz for girls. I wonder if it asks guys how big their penises are.
Something is in the air today. Something baaaaad.
When I went to the post office, the cashier told me that a man was hit by a car outside our building. The driver sped off and later ditched his/her car by the waterfont. The man who was hit died a short while later. For some reason, the cops still have the street blocked off even though the man was taken away a while ago. There is police tape everywhere. It looks like C.S.I.
I walked up to Pike Place Market to pick up a fundraiser donation from Golden Age Collectibles. There were TONS of transients around moving their big carts and handtrucks full of bags. I've never seen so many at one time “moving”. Do they know something we don't?
The smell of the donut shop inside the market overtook everything with a sickly sweet fried scent.
Walking back to the office, the wind whipped my hair and clothes around violently. It seemed to have changed direction so that I was against it going and coming. The rain was light enough but felt colder than usual because of the wind. Everyone walked with their heads down and therefore I had to be careful not to bump into anyone. People were huddling their entire bodies into their coats rather than let their faces emerge and pay attention to where they were going.
Back in the office, everyone is working quietly and subdued in their offices. This is unusual, at least for the guys.
I was recently informed that Rossi took Washington State by 42 votes. That means there are at least 42 more literate fundies in Washington than there are normal people.
It's a holiday tomorrow but it today doesn't feel like it.
I am so tired and my life is booked solid for the next several months. Getting surgery will be awesome because I will finally be FORCED to not do anything for a week. I will also get some lovely Vic-O-din.
Countdown to Operation Deflation: 30 days
Auditions for Snow Day all weekend. Not done yet. Callbacks tonight. Decisions must be made by tomorrow morning. Can't speak/write in complete sentences. So very tired.
Doood!
I just got the following email from Lil D. (AKA Baby Hitler).
“Do you know why the coffee table is in a weird place?”
I looked over, and sure enough, the coffee table had been moved slightly closer to the wall than before. Being the logical person that I am, I quickly deduced that the cleaning people must have moved it when they vacuumed over the weekend. I told her so, ignoring the overwhelming urge to be a snarky bastard about it. She wrote back:
“Can you move it back when you get a chance?”
Um…I CAN. But why didn’t YOU move it when you noticed it, seeing as how it’s bothering you so much, you little Obsessive/Compulsive beyotch. I know you’re a 90lb weakling with negative booty, but the coffee table probably weighs 20lbs tops as it is from Costco.
But of course I WILL move the coffee table. Because that’s apparently in my job description, right under “erecting cubicles”, “cleaning the coffee pot”, and “picking up the newspaper from the floor”. (That’s right…if anyone gets here before me…rare, but it happens…they will LEAVE THE NEWSPAPER IN THE DOORWAY).
GRARG.
WEEEEEEEKEND RECAP
Friday
Faye, Sherrard and I headed to the Wok and Grill around 7:00, prepared for a long night of annoying the old lady that closes up on the weekends. We ordered food and drink and plugged our $5 into the juke box. I must admit that I'm losing a little steam on that Juke Box. There's only so many times I can pick the more upbeat Joy Division songs and still keep the evening fresh. When we arrived, the music was in a sad state, as Garth Brooks (or some such country drivel) was blaring from the speakers. When I went back to the box, I realized why. There was an incredibly drunk man sitting at the bar next to the box. He was the very definition of belligerent. I knew they were his songs because every once in a while, he would sing a word or two with great reverence, and then forget what he was doing and go back to tormenting the bartender. He also took notice of me and said “HEY! I like your boots”. He said this a few times before I looked up. When I did look up he said “That's right, I'm talking to YOUUUUUU!”. I said thank you and tried to select as quickly as I could. Before I could get back to the table, I heard him loudly protest to his drinking buddy “I did NOT sleep with her!! Why would you say that? I DIDN'T! Why would you say something like that when it's not true?!” (To the bartender who was shushing him) “But I DIDN'T sleep with her. He's spreading LIES about me! I'm just trying to defend myself!”. He left (was kicked out?) about half an hour later.
So back at the table, we were joined by Andrew and ate and drank heartily. We were inspired by some music to retire to Faye's for a “dance party”. But first, we had to stop at the ridiculously huge new QFC on Broadway. We got extremely distracted by all the choices and the giant inflatable turkey, but eventually, we made it back to Faye's where we met Dom and Chris. Unfortunately, QFC had exhausted us, so a dance party was out of the question. Instead, we watched The Jerk and called it a night. Ah, old age.
Saturday
Unable to convince anyone of its potential, Faye and I set out alone to see a matinee of Seed of Chucky. And let me be the first to tell you (in print, anyway), that you MISSED OUT, FOO! The opening title appeared on screen. It was then washed away by dripping white goo. The SEEEEED! Don Mancini finally realized that the tale of a killer doll is not frightening so much as it is Comedy Gold! The movie is riddled with clever jokes and self-references. Jennifer Tilly is great! Jason Flemyng (heart) is great! John Waters is great! Best of all, however, is Billy Boyd (Pippin!) as THE SEEEEEED! He is hilarious! Seriously!!! There is also a kick ass pumping neck wound, a fantastic disemboweling (or disensausageing , as I like to call it) and a really neato beheading! I can't stop using exclamation points!! That's how good it all was!!
Loved it. Will stop now.
Later, I ate dinner with my friend Erik at Chutney's and discovered deliciousness at my doorstep. Oh Chutney's, you were this close to me all this time and I had no idea of the wonders you had in store for me. Probably because your sister branch in Queen Anne is crap. It is the less attractive, slutty sister. But you, dear Chutney's on 15th, are the beautiful and sweet one. And I love you. Will you PLEASE go to the Winter Formal with me? Oh, you're waiting to see if Billy will ask you? Ok. Just let me know. Thanks.
Later still, I headed to the Canterbury for Gene’s birthday! I drank so much cider that they ran out. Yikes. Then I went for a “walk” and partook of some of Gene’s birthday present. I won’t say what it is. But I will say that it made me extremely paranoid and I had to run home and eat a grilled cheese sandwich shortly thereafter. It’s a bummer cos I’d been waiting to hear the Buzzcocks album that Faye and I put on the juke box and it didn’t start until RIGHT as I was leaving. Bastards.
Still fun was had by me. And I think other people too. Happy Birthday, Gene!
Sunday
Der. Hello, hangover. How are you? Glad to hear it. I’m not so good. Thanks to YOU.
It’s ok though. I deserve it. And as punishment, I will give myself a good thrashing at yoga. But you know what? It was all worth it.
You are 73% Virgo
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Last night, a group of us went to see National Treasure as presented for free by The Warren Report. I shan't spoil the delicious badness because Faye is going to write it up as a special Bad Movie Monday review. Check back for that because I'm sure it will be well worth your time (much more so than seeing the actual film). But that's not important now. What I wanted to talk about it was the preview that came before the movie. We don't usually get previews with Warren Report films. Therefore, I was very surprised when I realised I was in the midst of the teaser for the upcoming Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy film. I've blogged about this film before and how excited I am because I really think there's a good chance it's going to be pretty damned good. I've also seen the teaser before on the very very small screen that is a Quicktime window on my computer. In that capacity, it seemed “cute”. On the big screen, however, when the Earth explodes in a great big ball of blue and bits of planet come flying toward you, it is a-effing-mazing! Seriously. I got chills and everything. So that made me pretty happy. Waiting till May will be tough.
This morning, I was reading The Salmon of Doubt which is a posthumously published collection of essays by and interviews with Douglas Adams. In it, there is an interview he did with the Onion in 1998. He was talking about how the rights to the film had just been purchased by Disney and how glad he was that it was finally being made. At that time, various parties had been trying to make this film for 15 years (by now it's 21 years). Adams said that the whole process had been rather frustrating for him because the project was something that meant a lot to him. I won't go into all the details. I'll just mention who has tried to make the film: Ivan Reitman, Michael Nesmith(!) and Jay Roach with Disney (I'm glad that last one didn't pan out. The guy who did Meet the Parents has no business directing this film). I don't know the whole story about what happened to the film after this interview and why Jay Roach isn't directing. (Instead it's Hammer and Tongs, who are best known, by me, as the guys who made Blur's “Coffee and TV” video). I do know that when Douglas Adams died in 2001, the only visual realization of his story that he witnessed was the fairly silly BBC version, which he admits was disappointing. In the interview, he sounded so excited that he would FINALLY see his work on film. He said that he was confident it would be something he could be proud of because special effects have come a long way since the film was first pitched. I'm sure that when he died, he was happy about a lot of things besides movies. But he never will get to see bits of Earth hurling toward him in a dark theatre. I'm sad that he didn't have the opportunity to get chills. Sure, many authors never get a chance to see their characters on film. (And for many of them, that's a good thing). Adams, however, was always “close” to seeing it get made and it just didn't happen in time.
I just witnessed a blind guy jaywalk right in front of a bus!!! The bus stopped, of course. But maybe jaywalking isn't such a good idea when you're BLIND. Sure, you're probably thinking “Maybe he just thought the light was green”. Well, I don't know how he usually judges green lights when they aren't making those noises, but no one around him had started to walk or anything. I just think he thought he couldn't hear any traffic and decided to go. But there was a BUS!! Jesus Christ!
WEEKEND RECAP
Friday
Dinner at my beloved Canterbury with Dom, Faye and Andrew. We were all very tired and planned to make an “early” night of it, but somehow that never quite works out. Probably continuing to order beer doesn't help either. We may or may not have pissed off the staff of the Canterbury when we encouraged Andrew to inquire as to why his juke box selections were cut off. Turns out they have the power to skip tracks if they are so inclined and when it comes to Phil Collins and Cream, they ARE so inclined. The delightful Shawna (sp?) gave Andrew his dollar back and we tipped her extremely well in order to make amends (just in case she was more annoyed than she let on). Can't be burning our bridges at The Local.
We returned to mine and Dom's, slightly tipsy and forced Andrew to watch our short films and listen to Tickle Me Emo. It was that kind of night. Then we broke out the new “80's power ballads” karaoke cd's that I purchased. Derek joined us after a while and did a heart-wrenching rendition of “Everybody Wants to Rule The World”. I can't remember what anyone else sang because at that point, 3 beers has turned to 6 (or 7). Meanwhile, Faye was fighting narcolepsy on the couch. Early night, indeed.
Saturday
We (being Dom, Faye, Sherrard, Dan and me) loaded up the car and headed up to Bellingham for the Projections Film Festival at which two of my shorts, the lovely Slavka Kolbel's (6SFP fame) and the talented (and baby soft) Daniel Purcell's films were playing. We sat through 4 hours of several good films (and a few…well, if you can't say anything nice…) After that we were exhausted and hungry. We had initially planned to go to a very El Toro-like establishment called “La Pinata” (which means The Pinata). Turns out, it was a little TOO El Toro-like in that it was out of business. No mexican food and karaoke for us! (Which is probably good because we were still a little sick from some really sub-par Mount Vernon Taco Bell. Yes, it was actually WORSE than Taco Bell-quality.) We entertained visiting “Taco Lobo” (meaning Wolf Taco) or La Casa Que Pasa (meaning The House of What's Up) but we decided instead to get pizza and cut our losses. On the way we got yelled at by two passing cars in a row! (What are the odds?). The first were girls shouting something about a flower. The second was a pickup truck full of (I'm assuming) frat boys who yelled something to us about being foreigners and going back to where we came from. (I blame them for that awkward diction). Anywho, we ate our foreign asses some pizza and then retreated to our hotel rooms at the Rodeway Inn (past tense of “Ride”), ate pie and were in bed by midnight. It was that kind of night.
Sunday
We decided not to stay for the awards ceremony, as it would have gotten us back home very late. I will let you know if we won anything. I'm not holding my breath though. My good friend DJ won an award for best in category though! (The Category was
“Pure Schlock”. Doesn't sound terribly flattering, I know :) Congrats DJ!
Instead we ate a delicious breakfast and hit the road back home (resisting the temptation of first visiting the hemp museum). I forced everyone to listen to my cheesy road trip mixes. We arrived home around 1:00 in time for me to go to yoga! I am trying to cram as much yoga in as possible before my surgery. It's difficult though being that I'm so busy. The temptation to get lazy about exercise is very strong. Must resist…
Anywho, the weekend wasn't as adventure-ridden as I'd predicted, but it was fun nonetheless. And now…The Working Week!
Effed by the Wind 