The ritual use of

WEEEEEEEKEND RECAP

Friday
Faye, Sherrard and I headed to the Wok and Grill around 7:00, prepared for a long night of annoying the old lady that closes up on the weekends. We ordered food and drink and plugged our $5 into the juke box. I must admit that I'm losing a little steam on that Juke Box. There's only so many times I can pick the more upbeat Joy Division songs and still keep the evening fresh. When we arrived, the music was in a sad state, as Garth Brooks (or some such country drivel) was blaring from the speakers. When I went back to the box, I realized why. There was an incredibly drunk man sitting at the bar next to the box. He was the very definition of belligerent. I knew they were his songs because every once in a while, he would sing a word or two with great reverence, and then forget what he was doing and go back to tormenting the bartender. He also took notice of me and said “HEY! I like your boots”. He said this a few times before I looked up. When I did look up he said “That's right, I'm talking to YOUUUUUU!”. I said thank you and tried to select as quickly as I could. Before I could get back to the table, I heard him loudly protest to his drinking buddy “I did NOT sleep with her!! Why would you say that? I DIDN'T! Why would you say something like that when it's not true?!” (To the bartender who was shushing him) “But I DIDN'T sleep with her. He's spreading LIES about me! I'm just trying to defend myself!”. He left (was kicked out?) about half an hour later.
So back at the table, we were joined by Andrew and ate and drank heartily. We were inspired by some music to retire to Faye's for a “dance party”. But first, we had to stop at the ridiculously huge new QFC on Broadway. We got extremely distracted by all the choices and the giant inflatable turkey, but eventually, we made it back to Faye's where we met Dom and Chris. Unfortunately, QFC had exhausted us, so a dance party was out of the question. Instead, we watched The Jerk and called it a night. Ah, old age.

Saturday
Unable to convince anyone of its potential, Faye and I set out alone to see a matinee of Seed of Chucky. And let me be the first to tell you (in print, anyway), that you MISSED OUT, FOO! The opening title appeared on screen. It was then washed away by dripping white goo. The SEEEEED! Don Mancini finally realized that the tale of a killer doll is not frightening so much as it is Comedy Gold! The movie is riddled with clever jokes and self-references. Jennifer Tilly is great! Jason Flemyng (heart) is great! John Waters is great! Best of all, however, is Billy Boyd (Pippin!) as THE SEEEEEED! He is hilarious! Seriously!!! There is also a kick ass pumping neck wound, a fantastic disemboweling (or disensausageing , as I like to call it) and a really neato beheading! I can't stop using exclamation points!! That's how good it all was!!
Loved it. Will stop now.
Later, I ate dinner with my friend Erik at Chutney's and discovered deliciousness at my doorstep. Oh Chutney's, you were this close to me all this time and I had no idea of the wonders you had in store for me. Probably because your sister branch in Queen Anne is crap. It is the less attractive, slutty sister. But you, dear Chutney's on 15th, are the beautiful and sweet one. And I love you. Will you PLEASE go to the Winter Formal with me? Oh, you're waiting to see if Billy will ask you? Ok. Just let me know. Thanks.
Later still, I headed to the Canterbury for Gene’s birthday! I drank so much cider that they ran out. Yikes. Then I went for a “walk” and partook of some of Gene’s birthday present. I won’t say what it is. But I will say that it made me extremely paranoid and I had to run home and eat a grilled cheese sandwich shortly thereafter. It’s a bummer cos I’d been waiting to hear the Buzzcocks album that Faye and I put on the juke box and it didn’t start until RIGHT as I was leaving. Bastards.
Still fun was had by me. And I think other people too. Happy Birthday, Gene!

Sunday
Der. Hello, hangover. How are you? Glad to hear it. I’m not so good. Thanks to YOU.
It’s ok though. I deserve it. And as punishment, I will give myself a good thrashing at yoga. But you know what? It was all worth it.

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