There is a movie being made about your life. Cast all the following parts. You can pick any actor or actress dead or alive, young or old. (I am going to make this specific to the people reading this blog to make it more interesting…to me. In your own responses, feel free to change family members and friends to people relevent to you)

1. You? Why? Fat Thora Birch because we are similar looking (or so I’m told). And I already know that she can play dorky.

2. your love interest? Why? Dom would be played by Tobey Maguire because that is funny to me. And then Dominic Monaghan playing himself would show up and fall in love with me and I’d have to let him down easy.

3. your best friend? Why? Faye would be played by young Jane Curtain because they are similar looking and Jane Curtain is witty and funny enough.

4. your enemy? Why? Lucy Liu. Cos she can be pretty damned evil if she wants to be. And also spoiled.

5. other friends? Why? Jacob would be played by his doppleganger on Queer Eye because, duh. Frank would be played by young Elvis. Elyse would be played by Marisa Tomei because she’s Italian (and she would win an oscar for it as well). Gene would be played by James Spader. I’m having a really hard time casting my friends which is weird considering that Faye and I used to sit around and decide who would play our friends in movies all the time. I might come back and add more friends later. Pam: Miranda Otto. Sherrard: Young Paul Simon or Rick Moranis :p

6. family members? Why?
My Mom would be played by Debbie Harry in her current age because they look somewhat similar and I think Debbie could do the crazy.
My dad would be played by Dr. Drew.
My brother would be played by Corey Feldman in his “most traumatic role ever”. Only Faye is going to get that.
My stepmom would be played by Katherine Zeta Jones because Hollywood is like that.
My dad’s mom would be played by that sweet old lady that played Happy’s grandmother in Happy Gilmore because she plays all the nice old ladies in Hollywood (as well as scary old ladies in David Lynch movies).

July 30, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

=====Freshman in College=====
I was still gun shy around people because of high school. So I assumed that everyone would hate me automatically. Therefore, I walked around with a scowl on my face as a “don't fuck with me” defense mechanism, even though I was actually very nice. Therefore, Faye, who lived right down the hall from me in my dorm, was afraid of me. She was further freaked out by the fact that my dysfunctional boyfriend at the time liked to pick fights and yell at me in the hallway in the middle of night. I think a lot of other people were too. A good memory of freshman year would be meeting my friend Kristie at “Passages” and us being anti-social and wandering around talking and makeing fun of other people. Amazing how college is so like high school in a lot of ways.

=====Sophomore in College=====
Hanging out every day and night at “The Halfway House”, where 4 of my friends lived together on campus. Getting high and drinking and crashing and just feeling generally like a part of something. I also met my first long-term boyfriend there and that courtship was pretty fun.

=====Junior in College=====
Living with Kristie in “The Hovel” which was an on-campus “house” converted from a storage shed. They tore it down at the end of the year. Kristie and I would bake brunch every Sunday and invite people over. Skipping class to hang out with Frank. Funny how none of my memories involve academics.

=====Senior in College=====
Once again becoming a part of a group in “Posse House”. Becoming friends with Faye (through a mutual dysfunctional friend), meeting Jacob and various other people, hanging out every day at Posse House. Barry Bauska's classes. Having my first panic attack over graduating (which didn't stop after graduation). Walking around all of Tacoma after graduation with Faye looking at all the places we'd lived whilst there, too many memories to write down. Happy and sad. Someday college will be the same as elemenary school is for me in the sense that I will be able to boil it all down to one or two defining moments. But for now, I think it's all too fresh to do that. Somehow it still bleeds into my every day life. Probably has a lot to do with the fact that I still hang out with college friends.

Other people can add new categories if they want. Like post graduate etc. But I think I'm done for now because this meme is making me sad.

July 28, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

==SCHOOL AFTER HIGH SCHOOL==

Rediculous. That is way too broad. Especially since I've been to two colleges now. So I'll just say this: I miss school. I miss having very little responsibility and being able to stay up late drinking on a Wednesday and make it to my 8:00am class the next morning with no hangover. I miss Spring Break. Being an adult sucks.

==DESCRIBE TWO MEMORABLE BIRTHDAY PARTIES OF YOURS==

1)My 16th. I smoked my first joint and I made a vow to lose my virginity by the end of the year, which I did.
2)My 21st, of course. I went to The Owl & Thisle, everyone bought me drinks, and I had a fantastic time. Drinking in a bar was every bit as cool as I'd suspected it was.

==DESCRIBE GETTING YOUR DRIVERS’ LICENSE==

Rather anticlimactic, actually. I was a year younger than everyone in my grade so I took driver's ed a year before I could take my test. I got my learner's when I was 16 and my parents told me that I wouldn't be able to take the car out by myself till my senior year anyway, so I figured there was no point getting my license till then. So I was 17 when I got my license and everyone else had been driving for 2 years. Turns out I'm a terrible driver anyway so now I do it as little as possible

==EVER DONE ANYTHING CRAZY TO GET YOUR CRUSH’S ATTENTION? IF SO, WHAT?==

I was dropping hints like crazy to this guy in college. I had just broken up with a boyfriend of two years (and by “just broken up” I mean it was several months later and I had finally been able to stop crying long enough to try and find a rebound. I found one in this silly little freshman, thinking it would be pretty easy. I just wanted to make out with him a few times and be done with it. Well, my hinting was fruitless, so finally, I just told everyone I knew to tell him that if he wanted, I would make out with him, no strings. He started flirting with me all the time but STILL nothing ever happened and he avoided all situations in which we could be alone together. So I gave up. Just about that time, my senior year was almost over and he came to a graduation party at my friend's house. After everyone was asleep, and we were lying on the couch, he made his move. It was a horrible disaster and was over in 10 minutes (I might be being liberal with the time). Luckily, I never really had to see him again after that. Worst. Rebound. Ever.

==DESCRIBE A FUN VACATION YOU’VE TAKEN==

Just had a blast in Eastern Washington at the Stabbin' Cabbin. See previous journal entry.

==WHAT CITIES HAVE YOU LIVED IN?==

Dallas, TX (baby), Beaverton, OR (2-4), Huntsville, AL (4-8), Flower Mount, TX (8), Richmond, VA (9-17), Tacoma, WA (17-22), London, UK (22), Seattle, WA (23-present).

==HOW DID YOU MEET ALL YOUR FRIENDS?==

Mostly through college or through film projects. Come on, you all know how I met you guys.

==ACTIVITIES==

Yes.

==FIRST KISS==

My first organized kiss was playing spin the bottle at Hippie Camp. I was 14. His name was Daniel. He liked my friend. A few days later, a 13 year old named Robbie kissed me on his own accord after the square dance. He later gave me poison ivy.

==JOBS==

Jesus. This won't be fun for anyone to read so I'll try to keep in breif. I babysat in high school. I worked at a B&B my freshman year of college. I worked for food services in college. I tempted at a billion places after college, including whilst in London, I worked for 5 minutes at a TV production company in Seattle that makes stupid reality shows. Then I got the sack and now I work in my present version of hell.

I liked part 1 of this a lot better.

July 27, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

This one is kind of long and involved (or at least it has the potential to be) so I'm going to break it up over two days.

TELL ONE MEMORY FROM EACH GRADE:

==PRESCHOOL==

We were learning about Columbus and so we put on a little “play”. I played one of the ships and to get to the New World, we sat indian style on the floor and propelled ourselves across the room with our arms. It seems a little weird in hindsight.

==KINDERGARTEN==

A boy liked me and I didn't like boys yet. He asked me to marry him. I told him marriage was yucky. Funny how some things never change.

==FIRST==

We learned to print and my teacher told me my handwriting looked like “chicken scratch”. I think it probably still does. Also, at that time I was starting to write with my left hand but I could also use my right pretty well. My teacher said that I needed to use my right hand because left handed people have hard lives. That doesn't make any sense now, but at the time I believed her and now my left hand is useless.

==SECOND==

I was still bringing my stuffed beaver, Bucky to school with me and the other kids made fun of me for acting like a “baby”. So I left Bucky at home. Later, I lost Bucky in a hotel room.

==THIRD==

I cut my finger open on a cat food can. It was a really bad cut and I had to go to the emergency room and get the tip of my finger sewed on (you can still see the scar). It happened to be my middle finger. I was trying to show the wound to the boy I was sitting next to and for some reason, I put down all my other fingers when I showed it to him, not realising it would look, to other people, that I was flipping him off. A kid named Kenneth was seated on the other side of the room and shouted to the teacher “Jessica's flipping Chad off!!”. I was extremely embarassed, but thankfully didn't get in any real trouble, once I explained to the teacher what was actually happening, and Chad, sweet boy that he was, vouched for me.

==FOURTH==

I was in 3 different schools during this year. The first school was this “alternative” school. They had this punishment where you had to stand up straight and hold x amount of encyclopedia volumes for a x amount of time, depending on what you were being punished for. It seemed like they were dishing these punishments out for stupid reasons (I finally got nabbed for not cleaning up my space fast enough to start the next activity). Turns out kids started complaining to parents and parents got all up in arms that this was “cruel and unusual” punishment and the school got shut down. My next school that year was another “alternative” school that got shut down for lack of funding. Then I went to public school for 2 months and then we moved.

==FIFTH==

This was my one full year in public school. At the time I was greatful to get out of there, but now I have no idea which would have been better. All I know is I started puberty during fifth grade and things started getting really horrible. Before this, I was one of the boys. Very tomboy. After this, maybe because of the boobs, they boys didn't want to hang out with me and neither did most of the girls because I didn't like girly things. ANYWAY, what stands out from fifth grade is the fact that I got my first crush on a boy named Derek who was nice to me sometimes. I made the mistake of telling another girl and she immediately told EVERYONE. After that, Derek didn't talk to me either. Although I found out later (in high school) that he did like me but was too embarassed since I wasnt one of the popular kids. I was very careful about keeping crushes to myself for a long time after that. Which is probably why everyone thought I was a lesbian in high school.

==SIXTH==

New school. Very small private school. I was excited because I could make a fresh start and hopefully get some new friends. I was through trying to be friends with the boys. Things started out fine too until the weather warmed and we started dressing out for gym in shorts. I had hairy legs but hadn't started shaving because my mother said I wasn't old enough. The first day in the locker room, one of the “prettiest” girls pointed at me and said loudly “Ew! When's the last time you shaved?!” Of course, everyone looked at me and said “Ew!” and there was nothing I could do. That night, I stole one of my mom's razers and started shaving.

==SEVENTH==

There was this particularly mean girl named Emily. She loved to go out of her way to be a bitch to me despite the fact that I was always nice to her. She had a birthday party and literally invited everyone in the class apart from me (there were only, like, 10 of us). One of these people was my best friend so I was pretty bummed that I didn't get an invitation. My friend thought maybe it was a mistake so she asked Emily if I could go and Emily said very loudly so that everyone, including the teacher, could hear “Hell no! I don't want that geek at my party!”. She got in trouble for swearing. Ha!

==EIGHTH==

New school once again. The famed Catholic school which I attended through high school. Once again, I was hoping to make a fresh start and fit in, but it just wasn't in the cards. I even went shopping at The Gap and bought, what I thought, was “normal” clothes. But I guess I picked the wrong ones because right away people looked at me weird. I can't think of any particular memory from this year. Just the fact that the realisation hit that not only was it impossible for me to fit in with these people, but that I didn't WANT to fit in with them because they were horrible people. All they cared about were clothes and hair. Also, I was just starting to become aware my political views and how they definitely differed from these other people. How could I be friends with a bunch of right wing assholes? Fuck em.

==NINTH==

I went shopping once again over the summer and bought clothes that I liked and felt comfortable in. We had a dress code, and even a uniform, but we didn't have to wear the uniform if we wore clothes that fit within the dress code. No shorts. Only dress pants. No t-shirts. No clothes with printing on them unless they were the name of our school. I managed to find some pretty weird shit that still fell within these guidlines. Also, they didn't say anything about shoes apart from “no sneakers” so I got my first pair of Doc Martens and wore them every day. Even though this was 1992, no one in Virginia had seen these shoes before. They were shocked and I was revelling in freaking them out. Regardless, they still picked on me whenever possible. I was still a little chubby so they had that fodder. We didn't have locks on our lockers because we were on “The Honor System” so I would find mean notes in my locker, and occasionally, dog biscuits.

==TENTH==

We took “comparative religion”. I saw my chance. I chose to study Satanism in an attempt to build myself up as a force not to be reckoned with. When the time came for Q & A, hands shot up. “So do you practice Satanism?”. I pleaded the fifth. Even though my nickname was thereafter “Satan”, they didn't fuck with my locker anymore.

==ELEVENTH==

I got my first boyfriend. He was a “public school” kid with green hair but he had just graduated from high school. One day, he drove to school in his Bug and we ate lunch together. I got some cool points for that. Even though a bunch of jocks walked by us and yelled “hey, I didn't know it was Halloween!”. Yes, these were a clever lot.

==TWELFTH==

Fun fun fun! I had lots of friends from other schools, so my weekends were always full. My best friend and I skipped class all the time and went to Borders (where she would steal CD's for us). No one really bothered me anymore. I was editor of the yearbook, so I finally got to put a whole bunch of pictures of me and my friends in there and unflattering pictures of people I hated. I was voted “worst dressed” on the senior poll. I revelled in it. And I was happy as a clam because I knew I was graduating, moving to Washington, and I would never have to see any of those fuckheads again. The only thing that sucked was that I finally confessed my love for my long time crush/friend Michael Cross, only to be shot down because he “thought of me as a sister”. Doh!

Tomorrow: Life After High School (As if that even exists:)

July 26, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment