appetite for specials impelled



Kayobi kindly picked us (The Troika) up at 6:00 and we sped off to the airport, going by the adage that you should arrive two hours early for a flight. I guess not many people fly on Fridays because we were checked in and through security in 10 minutes. That left us with quite a lot of time to kill. Ben found us after a while. Dom stayed put at the gate. I had a few drinks at the airport bar. Meep wasn’t feeling well, but eventually she got a beer which she couldn’t finish.

The flight was uneventful, unless you count Meep coming up with new nicknames for us. Danish, Spine and Chupacabra. I’ll leave you to guess who’s who.

Jacob picked us up and we crammed into his BMW. We got a little lost on the way to Inglewood where we were staying with Beth, an old friend of Dom’s. Beth was going out for the evening. We were too tired so we decided to tuck in for the night. Ben took the small couch, Meep, the large (not sure why) and Dom and I padded the hardwood floor with blankets. We met Beth’s sweet pit bull, Lizzie. She was uneasy at first (she’s not fond of guys), but eventually, she warmed up to all of us. We watched a little TV on Beth’s ridiculously huge wide screen HD and then tried to get some sleep. It wasn’t easy. There was a loud party going on till about 4 in the morning. On top of that, both Ben and Lizzie snore. It doesn’t help that Meep, Dom and I are 3 of the lightest sleepers in the world. In the middle of the night, Ben went upstairs to sleep in Beth’s empty bed (she invited us too), and I took Ben’s place on the couch. It was too late though. My back was already well and truly fucked from the hardwood floor. I don’t know how Dom did it.


We woke up around 8 because the rest of the apartment complex was also awake. We were meant to meet Mark at his house at 10, but Jacob was late picking us up and we also stopped to get breakfast. We got there at 10:30. Mark lives right around the corner from The Viper Room and the Whiskey A-Go-Go in a nice little two-story bungalow that was once inhabited by Tom Sizemore. It’s a very cute place, tastefully decorated and comes complete with a breakfast nook. We briefly met Mark’s wife who wasn’t feeling well and seemed a bit unhappy having 6 strangers in her house on a Saturday morning. Sorry! Mark took us on a pleasant walk around West Hollywood, showing us where Sal Mineo died, where Marilyn Monroe once lived with Sally Winters, where Betty Davis once lived, among others. I find it ridiculous how NOT conducive to walking L.A. is when everyone there is supposedly into health and fitness. We got so many weird looks walking around. Furthermore, the sidewalks barely fit two people across. This is reason number 6 why I’m not in a hurry to move to L.A. I hate spending all my time riding around in cars. It feels counterproductive. I don’t know why riding the bus doesn’t. I’m just more suited to public transport, I guess.

Anyway, after our walk, we went to a veggie friendly place called the Newsroom, where I had possible the BEST vegetarian chicken yet. They were little “chicken” drumsticks smothered in BBQ sauce, laying on a pile of creamy mashed potatoes. They even went so far as to put wooden sticks in the drumsticks for authenticity’s sake. Wonderful. Now if only they can make vegetarian southern-style fried chicken, and veggie battered shrimp, I’ll want for nothing in the meat world.

Next we went to Ralph’s to get a box of band-aids for Meep, who was suffering from blisters. Ben and Dom went back in to get a bottle of water, and the rest of us were treated to some A-Class people-watching. It’s AMAZING what people in L.A. wear to the grocery store. “This is my casual, domestic errand coteur”.

We still had a couple hours before we had to be anywhere, so we went to the Hollywood Forever Cemetery to check out the graves of the rich of famous. I was surprised how many plots were marked for people who hadn’t died yet. There were also a few tributes to people who weren’t actually buried there. One such tribute was to Joey Ramone. The statue’s base sported quotes from Eddie Vedder, Rob Zombie, Joey’s wife, Vincent Gallo and John Frusciante.

Mark took his leave of us, and we went to Raleigh Studios where they were holding the festival. It was kind of exciting having to sign in and get a pass to enter a studio lot. We walked past several trailers, and a miniature horse before finding the theatre where we saw a feature called “Death By Engagement”. It was produced by a friend of Dom’s. The theatre itself was VERY nice. Cushy seats with high backs, and a big, beautiful screen. I imagine this is where many an important director watches dailies.

After the movie, we met Heidi Martinuzzi, a prominent figure in the horror world. We had been in correspondence for some time but had never met. (She was responsible for setting up our first ever interview!) She gave Snow Day a good review and has been very helpful with promoting our film. She’s also honest and fun. I haven’t met that many “L.A. Types” yet, but something tells me. She’s atypical. She also reminded all of us a little of Ahe. We all went to get dinner at a Mexican place called Lucy’s after the movie. It was overpriced and mediocre. Also, when I ordered a Margarita, the waiter thought I wanted a plate of guacamole. What? We did spot Eva Mendes though. Why any self-respecting Latina would eat that crappy food, I have no idea.

Heidi and her friend Zach took their leave of us after dinner. Mark made several suggestions for bars to visit. We settled on a place called The Three of Clubs. He said it was quiet and had nice booths. He hadn’t been there in several years, however. When we arrived, we walked into a silent room that was also freezing cold. We make an awkward exit about 5 minutes later, and headed to The Abbey, back by Mark’s place. The Abbey is a HUUUUUUUUGE gay bar. The place is like a maze. It was really cool when we first got there. Plenty of seating, fun music, and heat lamps outside. As it started to fill up, however, it became unpleasant. It was impossible to get a drink if you didn’t have a penis. Meep and I were blatantly ignored at the bar. We were also cock-blocked by an inconsiderate couple who decided to stay at the bar and have their drinks after they ordered them. Hello! This is where people order. There weren’t even SEATS. Mark took his leave of us early and we were joined by The Brunswicks and Beth. Because it was so difficult to get served, it was about an hour between drinks for me. That kept me awake but also very sober.

Eventually, Roxy, Meep and I had to go to the bathroom. This is the first time I’ve ever been somewhere that the line for the men’s room was longer than the line for the women’s. However, BOTH lines were RIDICULOUSLY long. There were only two stalls and the line was barely moving. It took us about 45 minutes to get in there.

Meanwhile, Meep gave up and she and Ben took a cab back to Inglewood. The rest of us drove off in search of food, apart from Jacob who stayed on to wait for friends. I had barely touched my crappy Mexican food so I was pretty hungry. As we got into the Brunswick’s car, some meatheads who had just parked asked us where we’d been hanging out. I told them “The Abbey”. “The Abbey?,” they said. “Were there a lot of GAY people there?” Rocko, quick on his feet, responded “No, it’s great. You’ll love it.”

We attempted to eat at Pink’s, but the line was long. I guess it’s an L.A. tradition to wait in that line, but we weren’t in the mood, and Dom and I erroneously thought they didn’t have veggie dogs. Instead we went to Astro Burger which DID have veggie dogs. We stuffed our faces and then called it a night.


Once again, Jacob was late picking us up and once again we got lost. Lost in Beverly Hills. Cue the Fresh Prince theme song. Sorry, Mark, for being late BOTH times we were to meet you. Eventually, we found our way to (a different) Astro Burger for lunch. This place has a HUGE vegetarian menu!!! I will welcome my next trip to L.A. just to eat there again. I got a “ham” and egg sammy. Meep got a “rib” sammy. Their fries were also super delicious. I know I’m talking a lot about food, but it’s very difficult to get good fake meat in Seattle so it’s very exciting for me.

Anywhosel, off to Raleigh Studios again for our screening! We were one of 4 shorts that played, and the ONLY comedy. I kind of feel like they should have played ours last because right after the laugh riot that is Snow Day, they played a very long serious and arty “short”. It was very exciting to see our movie on that screen. It was also exciting to hear so many laughs. And in all the right places. Horror audiences get it, man. Awesome.

After the movie, we schmoozed in the parking lot. After roasting in the hot sun for a little while, Mark said goodbye to us. Thanks Mark, for spending so much time with us. I’m sorry your wife couldn’t join us.

Eventually, the party broke up. Meep, Ben and I still had some time before our flight so we went shopping. Meep and I dropped some cash at Golden Apple Comics. Then we got some Thai food.

The flight home was uneventful as well, apart from the fact that Ben saw someone he knew on the plane. We can’t go anywhere without him running into someone he knows. The man is famous already.

And thus, our trip to L.A. was at an end. But Dom’s was just beginning. I’m sure we’ll have to be going back to L.A. soon and often, but it was great to come back home to Seattle. Please, god, don’t make us move to L.A.

Photos forthcoming.


why put off

Weekend recap tomorrow. Today I am very tired and a little depressed. I'm hoping the depression is mostly to do with being tired. I have a feeling it's a combo punch of the following:

#1 -Having spent the weekend doing what I want to do for a living and then coming back to this job. It's probably mostly this.
#2 -Having heard that a good friend of mine wants to move away, and feeling a little Fox and the Hound about it.
#3 -Missing Dom. Yes, I know we've only been apart for a day, but the empty apartment was kinda eerie last night and Marilyn didn't even meow at me once. If you know Marilyn, you know that is creepy.
#4 -Having to pack up the office for our move this weekend (yes, this WEEKEND. I have to spend my Saturday doing that.) and, as of yet, I've had nobody help me. See also #1.

Sorry about the whinging.

Awesome Meeddi cations

I don’t really know what the criteria are for this meme. So I’ll just respond to Ben’s post with what each of his anecdotes made me think of in relation to myself.

1. All of my teeth are mine and cavity free. I have unusually healthy teeth, especially compared to how the rest of my body is falling apart.
2. On my right cheek, I have a small indentation from an accident when I was 2. And by accident, I mean I was a headstrong toddler who lacked common sense. I was in my little walker thingy (what do you calls those chairs with the Flintstone-style foot holes that have a tray on the front for making a mess with food?), and I wanted to get into the kitchen where my mom was. She was behind a swinging door that swung out. I understood the concept of a swinging door, but not that it only swung one way. So I tried a few times to push my way through the door to no avail. Thinking that I only needed to add a little force, I backed up and prepared to ram the thing. The whole time, I was clutching my favorite, engraved metal cup in my fist. I got as much momentum as I could and charged the door. Just as I was about to make impact, my mother, having heard the banging on the door, swung it open to see what was going on. The force propelled me backwards into the wall. My fall was cushioned by the walker, but since I was clutching the metal cup, I jabbed myself in the cheek with the edge of the cup, thus splitting my face open and scaring the living shit out of my mother. Not much has changed regarding the way I do business.
3. I was born with black hair. It later lightened to almost blonde.
4. The summer of my 14th year, at Hippie Camp, I finally received my first kiss. It was during a game of spin the bottle. The boy, Daniel, was an unwilling participant. He showed open disgust for having to kiss me. I didn’t even like him but he really hurt my feelings. I thought it meant that no one would ever want to kiss me. Two days later, I was proven wrong by a cute, curly-haired Sk8-er Boi named Robert. He took me into the dark woods during the square dance and told me I was beautiful. He became my boyfriend for a week until I broke up with him for unapologetically giving me poison ivy (on my neck). We made up on the last day of camp, but by then, of course, it was too late and he shipped off back to Florida. Ah fleeting summer camp romances.
5. I am allergic to mold, but I love the stinky cheeses.
6. The thought of getting nipples pierced makes me cringe in, what I imagine to be a manner similar to when boys see other boys get kicked in the nuts.
7. There are a few people in my life that I regret having never punched.
8. At different times in my youth, I forayed into the following extra-curricular activities: ballet, “jazz” dance, Aikido, tennis, golf, acting and ballroom dancing. I am incapable of doing any of those things today.
9. I sometimes get road rage just by being in the passenger seat of a car. This is a good reason for me to never again get behind the wheel.
10. None of my non-surgical scars have cool stories even though one of them actually begins “I was drunk…”
11. It took me 3 years to get over an ex that I dated for two.
12. From age 12-16, I attended a summer camp based on the teachings of Edgar Casey. I lovingly refer to it as Hippie Camp.
13. On New Years Eve, 1994, I accidentally kicked a hole into a hallway wall of the Virginia Beach Ramada. I was neither drunk nor angry. I just got overly excited “sparring” with my friend. We immediately ran back to our room and hid for the rest of the night. I never did get caught.
14. Faye and I were both stalked by the same guy. He called looking for me, and Faye answered the phone. After that, the scary messages he left at 1:30 in the morning were addressed to both of us.
15. The only altercation I’ve had with police, besides during protests, is last year when Jacob and I and some friends from Tacoma got thrown out of Volunteer Park at 2 in the morning.
16. The only animals I’m truly afraid of are fire ants.
17. In high school, I was a victim of gay-bashing. Only in the south can you get gay-bashed on the unfounded suspicion of being gay.
18. In 6th grade, I played the White Rabbit in Alice in Wonderland. The only reason I got a lead role is because there were 10 people in my class, and most of the other kids were burnouts.
19. I often wonder if I would have been “counterculture” in high school if I’d gone to public school and been able to drop under the radar.
20. The knee condition that I was born with (which subsequently lead to surgery), is allegedly related to evolution. According to my doctor, my knee caps were attached to the wrong muscle for creatures that stand erect, but not for creatures that stand on all fours. FREAK!

him, and very solemnly,

This is funny. Last week, after Boss Man let me stew over the prospect of not getting a receptionist for a few days, he called me into his office. I won’t bore you with too much of the details, but the gist is that he realized that the Lil’est Dictator DOESN’T DO ANYTHING while the rest of us are really really busy. He decided to examine why that is and how to fix it. His solution: Give her half of my clients. She was pretty pissed about this prospect at first. I guess she said she would NOT be demoted. But he shut her up by saying that she was the loudest proponent for not getting a receptionist. And that if we aren’t going to get one, than we have to re-distribute the work so to give me a break. He also told me that we still WOULD get a receptionist, but that it wouldn’t be until we were more settled. I can see his point on this matter. We’re in the process of a company split and a new name, as well as a move. It would be weird to hire someone now when we can’t even tell them what we’re going to be like in 3 months. He projected that January would hopefully see smoother times for us. He also said several times that since this new position for Lil’ D. is designed to help me out, that if I find myself with more work, I should let him know immediately. In other words, “if she delegates her work to you, I will put a stop to it.” Thank Christ for that! He also said that he appreciated my positive, can-do attitude, and the fact that no matter WHAT he gives me, I agree to do it without argument. He said he wished that everyone behaved that way. He also said that I have been an integral part in the success of the company and he is very glad to have me on board. It’s wonderful to be appreciated. I just wish that these things would come up in meetings. It would have been nice to have had him stand up for me at my birthday lunch instead of in the privacy of his office. Maybe then Lil’ D. would finally show me some fucking respect. Oh well. It’s better than nothing, I suppose.

Or organise do buck phonemic



Faye and I went to see a screening of “Malfunkshun: The Andrew Wood Story” at the NW Film Forum. I was quite a fan of Mother Love Bone in high school, to the point of ridicule from my very metal/punk friends, but I haven’t listened to them in ages. I wasn’t sure what to expect from the documentary. Faye and I were a little disappointed by the Gits documentary at SIFF. If Seattle is going to be the next Hollywood, they’d better start making better documentaries about Seattle subjects. But “The Andrew Wood Story” was pretty good. At first, the psychedelic motion graphics reminded me a little too much of VH1 program, but after a while, I settled into it and enjoyed the ride. Despite having been a fan of the music, I didn’t really know that much about the man. Turns out he was a very funny, thoughtful fellow who liked to have a good time, look pretty and rock. His family kept referring to themselves as “screwed up”, but their love for one-another was so evident, that it really didn’t feel that dysfunctional. It was one of those stories that, even though you know it ends badly, still gives you a glimmer of hope. This guy left too soon, but he left behind some great music and left indelible marks on everyone who knew him. Even Chris Cornell, who is known for being kind of a dick, was clearly having trouble in the interview. He chain-smoked and choked back tears throughout. At the end, the director came up and answered questions. Actually, he answered one question with his life story. But it was ok. He seemed like a good guy. He explained that the documentary found him, and took 10 years of his life to make. He explained the structure of it and how he wanted to show Andrew Wood’s life from inside Andrew’s head. Once you know that, the style of the film is much easier to take. Also, Kim Thayil, AKA Zombie Santa, was in the audience of about 20 people. That made the whole thing seem that much more special. Even if this documentary doesn’t do well, it serves as a lovely tribute to the man, for the people he left behind. Sorry for the Hallmark sentiments. But I’m TOUCHED, Goddamnit!

After the movie, Faye and I went to the Canterbury for a quick drink and a plate of fries. It was the wrong night for the Canterbury, however. Our favorite waitress, the nice, small blonde girl, was off. And we were ignored. After waiting for about 10 minutes, I went to the bar to get our drinks, and asked if I could order food there. The bartender snippily replied that our waitress would take our food order. I said that I wasn’t sure if there was table service because we’d been waiting and hadn’t seen anyone. He said he’d “send her right over”. Faye and I were almost done with our drinks before we saw “our” waitress stroll through the room. She checked on the other table and then walked past us without even a glance. Faye and I downed the rest of our pints and went to QFC.

We spent the rest of the evening at my house watching Alan Partridge and drinking of the beer. Faye also printed out some pictures for her haircut the following day.


Faye and I met at 12:30 to go downtown. Faye was on a quest for a new top and I was along to spend money I shouldn’t be spending. Glorious. We also went to Vain so Faye could get a haircut. A MAJOR haircut. From long to bob in an hour. And, I must say, Faye looks A-fucking-dorable. I know it must be a major adjustment for her to lose that much hair, but it definitely works.

After that, we still had some time to kill before meeting Dom for our dinner/casting meeting. We were quickly discouraged at The Rack, so we decided to give up on shopping and kick out the fun. We had a nacho and beer aperitif at Shorty’s followed by a quick game of Pinball. Then we met Dom at the Rendezvous and had out casting meeting. Right now, these meetings still feel a bit like make-believe. It’s hard to imagine that we are actually going to be contacting such and such’s agents and making offers!

After the meeting, I joined Dom in the Jewel Box for a show called “Verbatim Verboten”, wherein actors read the scripts from phone messages, interviews and other recordings, left by belligerent, intoxicated, or otherwise mentally unstable notables. Meanwhile, Faye hung with Borgia and Elyse. The show was pretty entertaining. The acting wasn’t stellar. And there was a very LOOOOONG-winded Woody Allen bit from his deposition about the Soon-Yi debacle. They kept coming back to it throughout the show and each time it was more insufferable. I very much pity the individuals who were forced to pour over the testimony. But, for the most part, the bits were amusing. Sherrard would have LOVED this show. My favorite bits were a belligerent message left by Ryan Adams on the answering machine of a man who gave him a bad review, and the ravings of Orson Wells as he attempted to record some advert voiceovers.

The show over, I resumed drinking with Elyse, Faye and Borgia while Dom had to do a reading really quick at a fundraiser in the Grotto. At 11:30, we were all exhausted and ready to go home. Elyse, especially, had an excuse, as she’d spent the day at the Puyallup Fair.


I spent an ill-conceived morning watching “Dancer in the Dark”. Oh my god! I just don’t like Lars Von Trier. His “heroines” are helpless, borderline insane women who don’t help themselves. I’m all for tragedies, but only if the protagonist is willing to fight for self-preservation. I’m also all for stories about self-sacrifice, but not when it’s COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY. I guess the bottom line is that it’s hard for me to watch a 2 and a half hour movie about a character that I don’t like. It’s especially hard when that character is played by a singer with a grating, impish wail. After a while, I was fast forwarding through the musical numbers. I suppose Bjork’s acting wasn’t bad. I’m sure she was doing exactly what she was told. But the bottom line for me is thus: Lars, I don’t jive with your world view. Bjork, shut up.

To stop the bleeding in my eyes, Dom and I watched some more Battlestar Galactica (almost caught up!) and then went to the grocery store. This was followed by yoga and finishing Deadwood. Deadwood, by the way, is awesome. It’s very rare that a show is SO FULL of amazing actors that I actually like all the characters equally. Well, I kinda like the Doc a little more than everyone else.


The chemist provides customers a wide selection of quality medicaments.

I guess the anti-“drug” campaign realized that people aren’t going to believe them when they tell you that smoking marijuana will make you violent or ruin your life, so they decided to try a different tactic. WITH HILARIOUS RESULTS! An old woman is sitting at a table in her kitchen. Before her is a dinner spread. Next to her is an empty place setting. She stares forlornly off into the distance for an uncomfortably long time, before glancing at the empty place setting and futzing with the silverware. There is no music, only the sound of children playing and birds singing outside. Finally, we hear a voiceover:

“Try telling your Grandmother that you skipped dinner with her because you were stoned.”

Grandma sighs. AWWW!!!

Lesson: If you smoke marijuana, you make Grandma sad!

Let’s ignore the fact that the ONE obligation a hardcore stoner would probably remember is a big home-cooked meal.

made from Cactus, Russel?



Around 6:30, my friends Ryan and The Kidd came over to get me ridiculously baked and drive my ass to Everett. The Kidd was just taking us up there and leaving. Ryan and I would have no ride home. At the time, we weren’t concerned. There HAD to be a bus that left Everett, right? Besides, it would be a rock n’ roll adventure. Little did we know, seeing Oasis at the Everett Events Center is about the LEAST rock and roll thing a person can do.

The ride up was promising. Ryan played DJ in the backseat by spinning the best Oasis b-sides (as every Oasis fan knows, are the best Oasis tunes). The Kidd dropped us off at the Events Center around 7:45. The show had started at 7, but we couldn’t be bothered with the openers, Kasabian & Jet. I didn’t expect much hassle from the bag checkers. Why should I? The guy looked inside my bag and was set to move me along when he noticed my patches.

“Are those safety pins on your bag, ma’am?”, he asked.

“Yes. They’re holding on the patches,” I said.

“Well, you’re going to have to remove them and throw them away,” he said sternly.

“Are you serious?” I asked. “What kind of damage can a person do with safety pins?”

“I’m sorry, ma’am. It’s regulations.”

As I huffily removed all my safety pins, I muttered about how ridiculous it all was. Ryan concurred.

“Do you know how many times I’ve flown with these pins on this bag?” I asked. “They don’t even let nail clippers on airplanes but they don’t care about safety pins.”

“I’m sorry ma’am,” he said again. I know it’s not his fault but COME ON! Safety pins! They have the word “safety” in the name!

Anyway, even after that little annoying incident, we entered the building in high spirits. I wasn’t drinking that night on account of my stomach still feeling a bit weak, but Ryan purchased a double-fister and, this being an all-ages show, we had to stand along the wall by the concessions stand to drink them. We could hear the irritating strains of Jet as we scanned the crowd. After a while, we realized this was the WEIRDEST crowd we had seen at a show in a long time. There were Dockers everywhere. Girls in tube tops strolled along with ex-frat boys now in their early thirties. A middle-aged woman in what appeared to be a house-frock, stood along side some younger adults with beer-in-hand. A couple of guys who looked like they came right from the office strolled by. Ryan and I wondered if we had the wrong night and we were actually about to see Third Eye Blind or something. Or perhaps there is so little to do in Everett that the entire town turns up to a gig at the Events Center, no matter who’s playing. Even with the tame crowd, cops sauntered around like giant twats with moustaches, actually HASSLING the 30-somethings. One such group was asked to show their I.D.s for the beers they were holding. Another group was hassled for a good 10 minutes by two mustachioed cops. I couldn’t hear what the altercation about was about, but it was clear that these perfectly law-abiding people were being bothered for no reason. When it was obvious to the cops that they had nothing on these guys, they sauntered away, pausing to exchange smug glances with a nearby security guard. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN EVERETT! Ryan and I were definitely losing heart by this point. As Jet finished spewing their shitty Gap inspired “rock and roll”, we went in to the arena to find our seats. We were right above the floor and had thought it might be easy to sneak down TO the floor. That was before we knew there WAS no floor. What should have been a sea of people standing around waiting to be rocked, was actually row after row of folding chairs, filled with people sitting dutifully. Some people stopped in the aisles, talking to each other. A security guard came by and told them they had to sit in their seats. Are you kidding me? No one at this show was under 20 and we were all being treated like a fucking after-school day-care. The crowd continued to weird me out. To our left was a group of people who appeared to be dressed as the Kinks. They were hanging out with Mr. Kotter. A woman in a short-shirt and cowboy hat strolled by about a hundred times, stopping periodically to put her arms over her head and cheer. More people in work clothes scrambled to find their seats as the lights dimmed. The sense of normalcy came from a small gathering of English guys around my age who were excited as hell to see some boys from back home.

When Oasis came out on stage, I knew instantly that they were not going to give a good show. Their body language was heavy. They were tired. They didn’t know where they were and they didn’t care. They stared out at a half-empty arena and decided to plow through their set as quickly as possible so they could get the fuck out of there. “Where the fuck are we?” asked Noel. “Everett!”, someone shouted. “Everett? What the fuck is Everett? Is that Seattle?” he snarked. “No. I know. I went to Seattle today. It was forty-five fucking minutes away.” Later he introduced a song by saying “Ever have one of those days where everything comes together in a zenlike fashion? This is not one of those days.” He never addressed the audience again. Meanwhile, Liam was being a twat, which I love. During the guitar solos, he would come to the front of the stage and just stand there, arms crossed. At one point, he balanced his tambourine on his head. At another point, he hid behind a stack. It was all kind of funny. But I couldn’t help but feel his heart wasn’t in it. The played only two new songs. The rest of the time, they plowed through the hits like it was a Revue. The English guys didn’t care. They sang their hearts out. It was pretty cute and the only thing that really kept me entertained throughout. Oh well.

After the show, Ryan and I wandered around Everett looking for the bus station. We asked a few passers by for directions but…surprise surprise, no one was from there! In half an hour, the entire town seemed evacuated and Ryan and I were hopelessly lost. We found a Texaco station and asked for directions. The told us the bus station was 10 blocks away, but that he was pretty sure they weren’t running until morning. Everett. Finally, Ryan broke down and said he’d pay for a cab. Back to Seattle. I wasn’t going to argue. He was hoping we’d get a cool cabbie who would be interested in bartering with weed. We didn’t. $60 later, we were back in Seattle. Everett. Not going to do that again.

I was home (thanks to a kind Dom who picked me up from Ryan’s) at 1:00 and took solace a rerun of Star Trek TNG (the one with Hue!) before going to bed.


I make no apologies for sleeping in till noon. It was fantastic. I’m pretty sure I needed the rest. Dom and I watched some TV and putted around the apartment until dinner time. Faye came over, we exchanged presents and then went to get some dinner at Toreros on Broadway. We got to the Nite Lite around 8:15. Cherry wasn’t there and we didn’t really know if we should ask about getting in the back room since she was the one who reserved it. Sherrard finally got up the courage to ask someone. We entered a fairly large room full of extremely random décor. None of the wallpaper matched. One wall was lined with shiny red and white cloth. Still, it was kinda cool. People began to stream in and the rest of the night is kind of a blur. Not because I was drunk (I only had 3 drinks!) but because people came and went constantly. Large parties like that are fun but also difficult because, if you’re hosting them, it’s impossible to talk to anyone for longer than 10 minutes at a time.

Matt bought me a drink I’d never had before called a Greyhound. I really liked it. I’m so picky about mixed drinks. A Greyhound is grapefruit juice and vodka and I think I like it more than vodka and orange. So that was cool.

Dom and I made out with some pretty cool gifts. Sherrard got me a great print of the “Rude Boy” one-sheet. The tagline for that movie is “Grab the future by its face”. I think that might be my favorite tagline of all time. Especially since it has NOTHING to do with the movie itself. Faye and I were very excited to give Sherrard his “Alone in the Dark” theme gift which included the movie, the t-shirt and a copy of “I Wish I Had An Angel”. He seemed pleased. Erin got me and Dom and copy of the Suicide Girls book, which I had bought for Ryan and was coveting. I actually knew what it was before I opened it just based on the size of the book. Kayobi got me some delicious, booze-filled chocolates. Faye got me the DVD of “Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge”. I’m VERY excited about that. Love the Steve Coogan. Sherrard got Dom a book on Paul Verhoeven which is full of fantastic pictures and inspirational quotes from the man himself. Love the Verhoeven. Faye also got Dom a game that looks pretty cool called “Darkwatch”. Birthdays are nice.

For some reason, me, Dom, Borgia and Faye all pooped out around 12:30 and cabbed it back to the Hill. This turned out to be a highlight of the evening. The cabby had the radio on and we heard “She’s Got a Way” followed by “Hold On” by Wilson Phillips. For some reason, we were in a singing mood and we sang along to both, Faye throwing some sweet harmonies in to the latter number. The cabby said we sounded better than Wilson Phillips. Awesome. And all this fun was had sober. Who knew?


I put together a book shelf while I watched “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2”. Then I went to yoga. After yoga, Dom and I watched the last episode of Doctor Who with Christopher Eccleston. I was very very sad at the end because SPOILER he turned into some other dude. Granted, it was a very clever way of dealing with Christopher Eccleston leaving the show without killing him off. And the new Doctor is pretty damned hot. But I doubt the new guy will be able to exude the same dangerous, sexy, creepy and charming British James-Spader-ness of Christopher Eccleston. Plus, I’m going to miss that charming Northern accent. Damnit. End Spoiler

Then I tried to finish the Jenna Jameson book before bed so I could return it to the library. I couldn’t do it. Despite being filled with (sexy) pictures, it’s also chock full of words and is taking me a long time to get through. I highly recommend it though, if you’re a fan (maybe even if you aren’t). She’s very well-spoken and has had a difficult and interesting life. The book is engaging and honest. And overdue. Doh!

I lose again

A few months ago, when I got my raise and “promotion”, one of the terms of said promotion was that when we moved to the new office, we would hire a new receptionist, and I would no longer have to sit at the front counter. This would fully usher me in to the Portfolio Administrator role, and ideally, I would cease to be everyone’s butt monkey. There would be a NEW butt monkey in town and I would have my own office with a door that would prevent everyone from being all up in my business all damned day. So today, at my belated birthday lunch (since I was on liquids on my actual birthday), I mirthfully brought this up, because we will be moving to the new office at the end of the month. But lo, my sunshine was quickly blocked by a storm I like to call The Lil’est Dictator. She rained her little booty-less attitude on my parade by saying that we should really reconsider this idea, since we will have all kinds of hidden expenses from moving and whatwith the uncertainty of the upcoming company split. Valid points, to be sure. But rest assured, she would NOT have made these points if we were talking about HER. She would be fighting tooth and nail to get what she believes she deserves. Which is everything. And BECAUSE she gets everything she wants (why, I don’t UNDERSTAND. She is NOT a nice person. Yet, everyone caters to her every fucking whim), Boss Man started taking her side. He made it sound like it would be better for my interest too, because apparently the $24K a year that a receptionist would make would significantly cut into profits for, well, those guys. I’m sorry I wanted something that a) would make my life easier, b) would make me more productive for your unappreciative asses and c) WAS PROMISED TO ME. Thankfully, the Nice One was on my side and brought up a few points such as “she would be free to do more work for me” and “I think it would help all of us”. The outcome of this fun little democratic session was that now I have to WRITE SOMETHING UP that explains why I think it would benefit the ENTIRE company for us to hire a receptionist. Apparently, the next time I get a promotion, I have to get it in writing or it doesn’t count. The Nice One volunteered to add to whatever I’ve written up to strengthen the case. Regardless, if they even decide to hire a receptionist eventually, it now won’t be until “January at the earliest”. That means that it probably won’t happen before I (hopefully) put in my notice several years from now. And then they’ll have to hire TWO people. I hope that fits into their little plans.

So that was my birthday lunch. Happy fucking birthday to me. Thank you for the gift of putting me in my place once again. I’ll take that hot fudge sundae in enema form.

contractor teamwork grassy

You Are Somewhat Machiavellian

You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead…
But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself.
You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place.
You just don't get ugly yourself – unless you have to!
How Machiavellian Are You?

Buddy – you are the hypochondriac


Once again, my insides baffled the doctors. They took a whole bunch of unpleasant tests and left me with only theories as to what the problem could be. I am supposed to hear the results of the tests today. Her theories included appendicitis, ectopic pregnancy, some dealy where your ovaries get caught on a ligament and then twist and twist back, causing a bruise, and a complication with IBS. With the snagged ovaries, she said she has no way of knowing if this happened once the ovaries twist back, but if that’s what happened, the only thing I can do is wait and heal. She did say that she didn’t think it was anything immediately life-threatening, because, if it were, I would probably have a fever and be throwing up.

The doc put me on a liquid and soft food diet for the next 24-48 hours (depending on how I’m feeling). This is a bummer because you can’t put a birthday candle in a bowl of broth. At least the real party isn’t until Saturday. However, on account of my health) or lack-there-of, perhaps I will do a bit less of the tying on than in past years.

Later today, I will hear the results of the tests. Her leading theory is that it’s something related to my IBS. Ah, lovely. My attractiveness points are skyrocketing. Come and get ‘em, boys.

Today, I definitely feel better but my guts just feel sore. Which is a weird feeling. At least my appetite is pretty low. Otherwise I doubt I would be OK with just feeding myself hearty cups of tea and snack packs.

TOMORROW: OASIS with the illustrious Ryan!