A few months ago, when I got my raise and “promotion”, one of the terms of said promotion was that when we moved to the new office, we would hire a new receptionist, and I would no longer have to sit at the front counter. This would fully usher me in to the Portfolio Administrator role, and ideally, I would cease to be everyone’s butt monkey. There would be a NEW butt monkey in town and I would have my own office with a door that would prevent everyone from being all up in my business all damned day. So today, at my belated birthday lunch (since I was on liquids on my actual birthday), I mirthfully brought this up, because we will be moving to the new office at the end of the month. But lo, my sunshine was quickly blocked by a storm I like to call The Lil’est Dictator. She rained her little booty-less attitude on my parade by saying that we should really reconsider this idea, since we will have all kinds of hidden expenses from moving and whatwith the uncertainty of the upcoming company split. Valid points, to be sure. But rest assured, she would NOT have made these points if we were talking about HER. She would be fighting tooth and nail to get what she believes she deserves. Which is everything. And BECAUSE she gets everything she wants (why, I don’t UNDERSTAND. She is NOT a nice person. Yet, everyone caters to her every fucking whim), Boss Man started taking her side. He made it sound like it would be better for my interest too, because apparently the $24K a year that a receptionist would make would significantly cut into profits for, well, those guys. I’m sorry I wanted something that a) would make my life easier, b) would make me more productive for your unappreciative asses and c) WAS PROMISED TO ME. Thankfully, the Nice One was on my side and brought up a few points such as “she would be free to do more work for me” and “I think it would help all of us”. The outcome of this fun little democratic session was that now I have to WRITE SOMETHING UP that explains why I think it would benefit the ENTIRE company for us to hire a receptionist. Apparently, the next time I get a promotion, I have to get it in writing or it doesn’t count. The Nice One volunteered to add to whatever I’ve written up to strengthen the case. Regardless, if they even decide to hire a receptionist eventually, it now won’t be until “January at the earliest”. That means that it probably won’t happen before I (hopefully) put in my notice several years from now. And then they’ll have to hire TWO people. I hope that fits into their little plans.
So that was my birthday lunch. Happy fucking birthday to me. Thank you for the gift of putting me in my place once again. I’ll take that hot fudge sundae in enema form.
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