This Meme Has Nothing to Do With Halloween

Meme from ZeroShapiro about youth.

1. What is your favorite childhood memory?
Playing with my best friend, Joe Schultz. His Lego collection was teh awesome and his mom made us Nutella sandwiches.

2. Who was your first childhood enemy?
Any girl in my class, actually. They all hated me because I only hung out with boys. Then when the boys started liking girls, I didn't really have any friends. Luckily, I moved schools.

3. Who was your first love? Do you know what happened to him/her?
If you mean crush (non-fictional) than it was this hippie senior named Jeremiah when I was in 8th grade. He had big curly locks and rosy cheeks. I know that's a long time to go without any real crushes, but pretty much every single guy I knew was an asshole until high school.

4. Who taught you how to drive?
My parents took turns and then, when they couldn't stand it anymore, they hired someone. I don't remember his name but I had to go to the mall for the lessons.

5. Where did you go to college and how/why did you make that decision?
University of Puget Sound. I almost went to a couple of other schools. I got into Emerson in Boston and Evergreen. I nixed Boston because of the winters and I nixed Evergreen because I thought I needed a more structure curriculum. In the end, it really came down to small liberal arts college in a city I liked. Yes, I liked Tacoma. Still do.

6. What was your favorite hangout as a teenager?
Grace Street downtown. Punk rock shows and all-night diners!

7. Who is your oldest friend that you still keep in contact with?
Does being MySpace friends with high school colleagues count? If not then it's Kristie Keely with whom I became friends my freshman year of college. That's 11 years, ya'll.

8. What was your first job out of college? If you didn't go to college, what was your first “real” job?
My first job out of college was a temp. I temped for a long long time. That is hardly a real job. I guess my first REAL job wasn't until my 3-year tenure at the investment banking firm. Sad.

9. What did you do for your 21st birthday?
I went to The Owl and Thistle. I do believe a fight broke out.

10. Tell me the story of how you lost your virginity.
I was sixteen. We were in my bedroom. We'd just smoked pot in my closet. My parents were downstairs. It hurt a lot and was over very very quickly. At the time, I felt like the world's oldest virgin and just wanted to get it over with before I turned 17 (which was creeping up in 3 months). Like Elyse, I'm very relieved that sex has gotten much much much better.

Also, Happy Halloween.


Oh the Horror!

American TV plans to ruin yet another brilliant British program. And this one is sure to be a big disaster. At least it's not sanctioned by the original creators. At all.

First NFT Radar: White Horse Trading Co.

So baby's first On Our Radar for Not For Tourists has been published! I shall inform you of each of my Radars as they come, so watch this space! (And also read NFT for other people's opinions, should you ever tire of mine.)

A.K.A. Ye Olde Secret Pub. It's difficult to find the White Horse as it's tucked away deep in Post Alley. The diminutive signage, which is simply a picture of a white horse above some words about wine and beer, is extremely easy to miss. But once you figure out where the door is, you'll be glad you made the effort. Sink into their soft, old-timey leather couches and enjoy a variety of smooth imported beers you’ve never heard of. You’ll think you’ve gone back in time and been inducted into a Gentlemen’s Club; especially when you receive the bill. The modern inflation on Seattle ale prices does not affect the patrons of the White Horse. This leaves you free to sample everything, including the fantastic cider as dry as Death Valley, a glass of Meade and the Pimm’s Cup. The former is a wine enthusiasts’ Long Island Iced Tea: a blend of 5 wines, sugar, and lemon that goes down easy and warms your tummy. You may want to rest on the couch a bit longer after finishing one of these.

1908 Post Alley 98101

Scaraoke Aftermath

The stuff of legends! And also the stuff of massive crippling hangovers which Brugos and I had all day yesterday. We managed to clean up most of the cups and bottles (well, it was mostly Justin and Brugos. I tried to help but my rampant nausea made it hard to be upright. So instead I helped by ordering Chinese food). Unfortunately no one had the energy to mop so most every surface in our house is still sticky.

But it was worth it! What a party! Seattle's Best upgraded their karaoke system so everyone sounded like fucking rock stars. I have never felt better singing. And everyone loved my costume even if only 2% knew who I was supposed to be. (For the record, it was Baby Jane, not Alice, though I can see how one would make the mistake. It was very hard to find a little girl's dress in an adult size, so I ended up with one of those “sexy” adult costumes.)

Brugos' Civil War general was also a hit. He had to work in the mutton chops. Mission accomplished.

The most accurate costume of the night definitely went to Elyse, as Amy Winehouse. Uncanny.

There are so many hilarious pictures! I regret not getting a good full-body shot of Roxy who was the lamp from A Christmas Story. Hopefully someone else got one.

Also, the Stranger's Party Crasher showed up with 3 of his friends. The Party Crasher can really bring the karaoke. Hopefully, we will get a write-up for this one.

See all my fabulous pics here!

Winter Makes Me Fat

Thank god for another sunny day preventing me from going on carb-loading and inactivity suicide.

These are a few of my favorite things.

I admit, I was skeptical when I first heard there would be a sequel to my beloved Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle. The other movie the director, Danny Leiner, is famous for is Dude, Where's My Car? which I didn't find very funny. But whether or not it's a fluke, Harold and Kumar is a perfect film. How could they possibly improve upon (or even meet the level of) such genius?

Well, this poster is a dammned good start!

Kumar:So where are you going to go now, Neil?
NPH:Wherever God takes me…

I'm Published! Part 2

For the cheapskates (like myself), the entire Seattle Not For Tourists book is now available on the website! Here are shortcuts to the important pages (i.e. the ones scribed by me):

*Downtown/Denny Triangle
*Upper Queen Anne
*Cal Anderson Park
*SeaTac Airport
And my crowning achievement:
*Seattle Center

Lower Queen Anne/Seattle Center is down at the moment, but hopefully will be fixed soon.

Also coming soon are my regular reviews in the On Our Radar section. Look ma! I'm a journalist!

“Gross” Relationship Meme

From ZeroShapiro

1. Who eats more?
I think we eat about the same amount, but I eat more frequently and smaller portions in each sitting.

2. Who said “I love you” first?
He did. It took me quite by surprise and then made me happier and more confused than I had ever been.

3. Who is the morning person?
I wouldn't say he's a morning person per se, but he wakes up faster, requires less sleep and doesn't necessarily need caffeine to feel like a fully functioning human.

4. Who sings better?
He does. But I do alright.

5. Who’s older?
Him by 3 years.

6. Who’s smarter?
Him. But I know more useless trivia!

7. Who’s temper is worse?
Mine, I think. It's pretty rare that he gets bothered by anything, actually.

8. Who does the laundry?
I do more laundry but he pitches in. Housework is a tough issue because we are both very very lazy.

9. Who does the dishes?
This is pretty even.

10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
Facing the bed from the foot? He does.

11. Who’s feet are bigger?
His. God. I'm not a troll lady.

12. Who’s hair is longer?
Mine. And the sign said long haired freaky people need not apply.

13. Who’s better with the computer?
Me. But not by a huge margin.

14. Do you have pets?
Yes. Our spoiled little cat children.

15. Who pays the bills?
He pays the house bills and I pay my personal bills like cell and credit card. I also pay for the organic veg. delivery if that counts as a bill.

16. Who cooks dinner?
I'd say it's about 60/40 with me as the 60.

17. Who drives when you are together?
He does. I am not a good driver and driving the 'stang makes me nervous. This may even out a bit more when I inherit the Corolla from my mom. But I'm still not a good driver.

18. Who pays when you go out to dinner?
We take turns, but he probably pays more often in the interest of dinner dates. Which I am happy to accept.

19. Who’s the most stubborn?
We are both pretty stubborn but in mostly non-conflicting ways.

20. Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong?

21. Who’s family do you see more?
So far, his. But this year it will probably be pretty even.

22. Who named your pet?
Pets acquired and named pre-relationship.

23. Who kissed who first?
It was a mutual decision discussed beforehand.

24. Who asked who out?
Again, mutual.

26. Who’s more sensitive?
Me me me. But he has his moments.

27. Who’s taller?
Him. It would feel really weird for me to be with someone smaller than myself.

28. Who has more friends?
I'd say he does but that's just based on the Dodecathelon evite list. Of the people we hang out with on a regular basis…well, I'd still say he has more but it's less of a staggering difference.

29. Who has more siblings?
We each have one.

Going Strong on the Memes

1. To whom did you last give the finger?:
Does giving a finger to an empty desk count?

2. If you had 1,000 dollars what would you buy?
Memory foam.

3. What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?

4. Are you different now than you were 6 months ago?
Slightly fatter and more tired.

5. Have you kissed a girl/boy in the last three days?
The person I’ve been kissing is all man.

6. What was the last photograph you took?
Took a photo today of a restaurant I’m reviewing for NFT.

7. Where were you last night around 9:30?
On couch watching Heroes.

8. What do you think of guys that wear eyeliner?
It can look kind of hot, but guys who wear it on a regular basis are pretty douchy. (See also Jared Leto.)

9. How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
8 and a half. Why am I still tired? Oh yes, because now comes the time of year when we don’t see natural light.

10. Who was the last person to whom you spoke on the phone for over an hour?
My mom, I’m sure. And I wasn’t really doing any of the talking. Other than that, my long conversations average 15 minutes.

11. 50 Cent shows up at your door. What do you do?
Inquire as to his reasons for the visit and then, hopefully, send him away happy.

12. How was the last egg you ate prepared?
Over hard.

13. Where did you last wear sunglasses?

14. Ever worn your underwear backwards?
Yes but not on purpose. Kriss Kross’ll make ya…

15. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence?
Steve and Justin.

16. Does it bother you when people put && before every sentence and ;; after?
&&Not really;; &&Why?;; (I don’t understand.)

17. What animal did you last pet or hold?
Tobe, a cat who resembles many other animals including, but not limited to a lamb, a lion, a luck dragon and a ghost bear.

18. What was the last law you broke?

19. What are you wearing?
Same ole shit.

20. What did you think of your last hug?
Nice. Always nice.

21. What was the last newspaper you read or skimmed?
The Stranger.

22. What was the last word written on your hand?
“Pepper Spray”. Apparently, at Neumos, they don’t let you take any in, so they kindly held mine for me at the door, and I wrote on my hand to remind myself to get it back.

23. What was the last hair product you used?
Moisturizing mousse with SPF 15.

24. What was the last text message you received?
I don’t know. I just deleted them all.

25. What was the last medication you took?
Stuff for my bowels. Ew.

26. Who was the last person to make you really laugh?
Co-worker Ben.

27. To what song did you last sing along?
Electric Six songs at concert.

28. What was the last musical instrument played in your presence?
Electrix Six instruments.

29. What was the last superstitious thing you did?
Knocked on wood. I don’t really believe in it. I don’t know why I do it because it’s not really a funny thing to do either.

30. What's the last good book you read?
Offbeat Bride. Not sure how entertaining it would be for people who aren’t planning an alterna-wedding though.

Mark Did It Again!

MarkTapioKines once again made a wonderful meme!

1. If you could only wear one color for the rest of your life, and it isn't black or brown, what would you choose?
Being someone who wears all black most of the time (and only feels comfortable that way as well), this would be really really REALLY hard for me. But I do wear and feel cute in red sometimes so I guess it would be red. Nothing but red dresses. That might actually be kind of cool.

2. If all your expenses were paid, would you be a “space tourist” (in 2008, not far in the future)?
Dear god, no. Did you SEE Sunshine? Space is fucking terrifying.

3. What does/did your father do for a living?
He is currently a CEO at Interbake Foods.

4. What does/did your mother do for a living?
She was a teacher at first, and then became a homemaker and is currently an unmarried homemaker studying Raike.

5. Which social network do you like more, MySpace or Facebook?
I like Facebook, but I haven't yet found anything useful about it other than killing time. Whereas MySpace actually got me a writing job.

6. Do you prefer AC/DC with Bon Scott or with Brian Johnson?
Doesn't really matter to me. I'm not really a fan of either incarnation.

7. Would you rather give up meat or give up alcohol? (If you already abstain from one, substitute “cheese” for it.)
Another tricky one for Baxter! So I've already given up meat, (15 years) which leads me to believe that MAYBE it would be easier to give up cheese because I can alleviate the cravings by reading vegan pamphlets. Whereas all my friends drink, so that would create social issues. Either way, I would lose a LOT of weight here. I choose cheese. (But not really!)

8. Would you rather be buried or cremated after you're dead?
As stipulated in my will, I would rather be cremated. I'm sure it won't much matter to me either way after I'm gone, but coffins, headstones and plots are so needlessly expensive and that expense would be on someone else. I'd rather my loved ones take a fun vacation to scatter my ashes then have to plan a big expensive funeral.

9. How many weddings have you attended since you turned 18?
7 (including the lovely Booberg wedding this past weekend). Not all that many, really. I think most of my friends are late bloomers.

10. How many of those happily married couples have since gotten divorced?
1. And they were friends of my boyfriend at the time. So I'd like to think my friends marry for keeps.

11. It's late night and you have the munchies. Sweet or savory?
Sweet. And then savory. Or both at once.

12. Provided that all expenses were paid (including rent or mortgage on your current home) and your current job (if any) would take you back when you return, would you be willing to move to Paris, France on January 1, 2008 and stay there for a full year?
Like Mark, if I could bring Brugos and our cats, MAAAAYBE. But I'm not all that into France and I would really miss my friends. However, I'm sure the circumstances and stakes of such an offer would make a good book so perhaps that could be my incentive.

13. Name one thing your romantic partner does NOT do that you wish he or she did (if no current partner, use recent):
Clean the house. The disclaimer here is that I am also very messy. I wish he were a neat freak so that he would either enjoy cleaning the house so that I don't have to or that I would be guilted into being neater myself. Instead, we both live like pigs.

14. While out at a movie, what do you eat and drink?
I often bring in my own booze. Screw-capped mini bottles of champagne are delightful for this purpose. And quiet. I like popcorn and nachos from the snack bar but don't buy them all that often.

15. Would you rather go out to see a friend's band or see a friend act in a play (assuming that said friend is talented)?
Band. While the friends who would invite me to a play are very talented people, their colleagues (and often, the directors) are less so.

16. Do you still use a landline at home for telephone conversations?
I do not. This proved to be an issue recently when I tried to hire a plumber from Mr. Rooter. The message on their 800 number detects that you are calling from a cell phone and asks that you enter your land line number. When you can't, it hangs up on you.

17. What's the worst experience you've ever had with a police officer?
Driving through Eastern Washington, NOT in a pickup truck and with a liberal sticker on the back of the car. They pulled us over twice for going less than 5 miles over the speed limit while people in gun-racked pickup zoomed past us.

18. Have you ever been caught stealing something?
No. I was a bit of a klepto in high school but I was very good.

19. If a restaurant offers you a free after-dinner mint or candy, do you usually eat it?
50% of the time. 100% if it's an Andes mint.

20. Speaking of which, what's your least favorite candy?
Peeps. Gross to eat, but fun to play with!