To pick up Dominic Monaghan: Hey… I might not be the cutest one here… but I am the only one talking to you.

Get your own Magic Pick Up Line

To pick up Stephen Dorff: Do you have a Bandaid? Cos I just scraped my knee falling for you.

Get your own Magic Pick Up Line

To pick up Eddie Izzard: Hi will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap hotel room across the street.

Get your own Magic Pick Up Line


Impending Doom

You Should Vote for Ralph Nader.
Ralph Nader
Sorry – Shirts and Shoes are Required in the Voting Booth.
Which presidential candidate should you vote for?

pouring from the ceiling

Hello my little breakfast pastries.

This morning was my first ass-early meeting. Boss man and I were the only ones there because Lil D. is on vacation (till Wednesday, I am Lil' D.-less!!) and the other guy forgot. It was a good opportunity, though, because I was able to go over all my bullet points that I wrote out on the bus on the way home on Friday. The end result is that Boss Man is going to re-visit the raise thing. He saw my point about deserving to be compensated for doing two jobs. He also saw my point about doing Lil D's work and said that maybe we can get her to officially hand over some of her clients to me (since I'm doing the work on them anyway) and then I will get commission on it. Yay! Again, nothing immediate is going to happen, but I could be seeing a significant increase in income very soon which ALMOST makes getting up at 5:30 worth it. ALMOST…

This weekend was great. Our readthrough on Friday was very successful. People seemed to enjoy it and laughed at all the right places, so that is promising. We video taped it so that Faye and I can re-visit it and pinpoint exactly what works and what doesn't. We realise that while we have a pretty solid comedy, we want to make it a little more meaningful than that. We need to inject some character into it (in other words, we need to Whedon-ize this mo fo). So Faye and I need to have a few more beer-laden writing sessions. I believe we can make this thing more than just “entertaining”! Yipcha! After the reading, we bought more beer and got a little crazy with the karaoke machine. Our neighbors must LOVE us.
The next morning, my landlord came by with a plumber to fix our shower fawcett. I had totally spaced on the fact that she was coming and so, when she walked in, she was greeted to a mess of a living room including beer bottles strewn everywhere and a video camera set up. Uh…hello elderly landlord. Welcome to the home of the “Indies Gone Wild” video series.

Saturday we saw the opening of Shaun of the Dead. The theatre was chock full of die-hards. You could tell because the clapped at the end of the movie even though no one involved in the making of the movie was in attendance. Also, you could hear people playing “I know more than you” (AKA “AintItCool Trivial Pursuit) before the movie started. No sign of Fan Boy though. He must have been grounded. Everyone seemed to enjoy the movie so we won't be having another LJ spat :) After, we went to Wallingford and ate some pretty delicious (albeit overpriced) food.

Sunday was pretty typical. Laundry, grocery store, yoga class, impending doom about Monday morning.
And here I am slacking off as usual. The difference is today I am dog tired. But hopefully, I gots me a raise comin'.

OOH! The ps: is that late last night, after I was SURE we were out of the running, I got an email that stated that “Terry” has been selected to be shown in the NWFilm Forum Local Sightings Film Festival. It will be playing October 10th at 9pm and October 14th at 7:30 pm. Please come and check it out on the big(ish) screen! Jub jub!

Somebody Please Kill Me

So I just got a decree email from my boss regarding that “Meeting After Hours” thing. His decision is as follows:
-Since we couldnt agree on whether to come in an hour early or stay an hour late, we are now doing both. So on Monday we come in at 7am and Wednesday we leave at 6pm.
-I had to open my big fucking mouth. In an attempt to get him to NOT make us work an extra hour unpaid, I suggested that since we usually leave early on Fridays, that we just maintain the normal office hours on Friday and use THAT as our meeting time. Well, he liked that idea. So he tacked that on too. And now we are meeting 3 times a week with no leaving early ever.
Obviously, this puts a damper on many things for me. If I want to have time to have film meetings and work on film projects, my evenings are even more full. No more yoga twice a week, I reckon. Unless I want to have exactly ZERO evenings a week at home to chill.
No staying out late on Sunday nights ever either.
And I STILL make fucking ass peanuts compared to everyone else in this company. On Monday, I am going to talk to my boss and see if he can't expedite the raise process for me because this is fucking bullshit. I can understand these lifers wanting to put more into the company, but why me? WHY ME?!

Maybe I'll get lucky the apocalypse will happen soon and swiftly.

Wanna see something disturbingly hilarious?

Click here.

bigger stronger

IT'S FRIDAY! I'm very excited for 3 reasons. 1) I don't have to come to this stinking place tomorrow, 2) Tonight we are having a readthrough for mine and Faye's zombie script complete with actors and beer and 3) Shaun of the Dead opens this weekend!!!
We are going to see Shaun tomorrow night so if anyone's interested in joining in, let me know. Faye and I already saw a sneak preview of it so we can guarantee that it is classic cinema in the making!
Last night I went to yoga and it wasn't a good class for me. My knees weren't cooperating with me at all. In some of those balancing positions, I looked like Bambi just learning to walk. It was also kinda painful. It didn't help matters that I had a teacher I'd never had before and I don't think she was familiar with my knee problems because she kept telling me to go lower. I couldn't say “I can't go lower because this is incredibly painful as it is”. So that broke my concentration even further. Luckily, things improved when we got to the sitting portion of the class. But I was already pissed at my body for being so crappy. Oh well. A crappy yoga class is probably still better than no yoga class. Hopefully things will be better on Sunday. I blame the cold weather. Last winter, my knees ached pretty bad and I think they feel the cold weather coming and are starting to give up again. Well, I won't let them. Bastard knees.
ANYWHO, things have been pretty busy here this morning but they've started to slow down and will hopefully continue to do so for the rest of the day so that I can fuck about and leave early. Ha!

U are Stupid Dumbass If U Pay Retail Price For Softwares sweet

Last night Faye, Dom and I went to see comedians Patton Oswalt, Brian Posehn and Maria Bamford on the Original Comedians of Comedy tour. You might know Patton from the TV show King of Queens (but I wouldn't because I have never seen it. I know him from Best Week Ever and Comedy Central). You might know Brian from Mr. Show. I've only ever seen Maria once on Comedy Central. ANYWAY, We arrived at the Neumos approximately 1 hour before Faye and I like to be in bed on a weeknight. We drank a disgusting beer that I have never had before and will never drink again (Mirror Pond) that Faye likened to drinking Lysol. We found, to our horror, that there were only, maybe 10 seats in the whole place and we might have to stand. We were none too pleased about this (especially me) and I was thinking that this would be a long, uncomfortable night. But then, I noticed that people were heading up to the balcony so we raced up there and got a nice little bird's eye view of the stage. When the show started, I forgot all about being tired and just laughed my badunkadunk off for the next hour and a half. It was really awesome. Patton's album is pretty funny, but half the humor is in his facial expressions and gestures. I've never seen Brian do standup but it was really great. Maria surprised me as well. Especially with her Pterodactyl impression. It's amazing how much better comedy is when people can say things like “vagina necklace”, “cum pirate” and “smells like a dead baby coffin”. These days, I see a lot more good comedy shows than rock shows. Could it be that “alternative comedy” is the new Rock and Roll?

Meme Mama

This is one of the coolest Meme's ever so far. I got it from Zero Shapiro's gournal. The ones I found for her are hilarious.

1. Think of a word you would use to describe me.
2. Go to Google Image Search and search for that word.
3. Select the picture you see as most fitting, and post it as a reply.
4. Post this meme in your journal.

Prom 2004

The pictures from Ryan's “Enchantment Under The Sea Dance” Birthday Party (Longest Title Ever) are now up. See the silly pictures here.
I love this set because a)we were being retarded long before we started drinking and therefore b) these pictures are still hilarious to me after the fact. You might have had to be there, but somehow, I think they might be even funnier out of context. Those two dark pictures followed by the picture of me hanging myself with streamers, are of the two Succubi that we hated intensely for one night. Fun fun fun!! Enjoy!

a little meme thingy

You Know You're Addicted to LiveJournal When…

If you can't access the site, you have a minor freak out – and a major case of hitting reload. Not exactly a freak out. But I do reload every few minutes. I do that with my email too though

You found yourself composing journal entries during dates, movies, even sex! Well, not SEX

When you're out, you suddenly think of a witty reply to a comment somebody made to you… several days ago.I don't think so, but I can see it happening

You actually call it LJ and not Livejournal. Check.Only in email as shorthand

You've downloaded some sort of LJ program which has only the purpose of making entries easier to write without going on the site manually.No. That's gay

You consider it a great offense if someone deletes you off their friend's list.Hasn't happened yet. But since I'm friends with my LJ-ers in real life, I probably would be offended

The first thing you do every day when you go online is check your friends journals – even before checking your email.Second thing.

You actually paid money for a few extra pictures with a full account when you could actually just alternate pics when you want to for your screen icons.I refuse to pay money for this, as fun as it is

When your friends ask what's new, you get mad at them because you already wrote it in your LJ and they didn't check it yet.I don't get MAD. I just calmly direct them to the entry :)

You have put more time into LJ than all your assignments for the semester.Well, I've put more time into it than my JOB. But were I in school, this would probably be true

You have more friends on LJ than in real life.Thankfully, no

You've met at laest 50% of your LJ friends.I've met all of them before LJ. So there.

You can't seem to call your friends by their real names – only LJ names will do.Only Dom Zook cos that's his name, yo

You've fallen in love with someone you met on LJ.I was already in love with someone on LJ. Does that count?

You have posted about a party or get together on your LJ… and random strangers showed up.Nope

You are guilty of traveling more than an hour to meet someone with LiveJournal. (Extra points for traveling five hours or more)Hello, freaks

You've written a protected entry about one of your LiveJournal friends. (Extra points if they eventually found out about it)There's points now?

You have written posts to notify people you're going to sleep.No, but some of my posts might put people to sleep. Oooh, burn

You talk about your LJ friends to your real life friends all the time… like they're a part of your group.They ARE part of the same group. How many points for that?

You've created a LJ community, and people actually post in it.no

You've been recognized in real live by a fellow LJ'er.This is getting a little freaky

You have friended someone because of their LiveJournal icon.Nooooooo. But ZeroShapiro's are always pretty cool.

You have “pity friends” on your list, who you would defriend if you could.Only the same people who are my pity friends in real life. KIDDING

You've pimped one of your friends on journal, trying to get people to friend him / her.I prefer the term “Hollywood Madam”

Instead of doing research, you post difficult questions on your LiveJournal.Replace “research” with “cost basis” and you've got yourself a deal

Your pets all have their own LiveJournals.Amazingly, my pets are illiterate. (Even though Bruce did have his own Friendster profile at one point.)

You know, right now, how many people have friended you (without peeking).I'm assuming it's all the people I have “friended”

You've stopped being friends with someone in real life because of something they've said on LJ.No but I think we all recall the great Napoleon Dynamite Scandall of 2004.

You're guilty of posting sexy or nude pictures to get more people to friend you.Only if you like beastiality

You have consoled yourself after a horrible day thinking “At least this will make a great LJ post”I usually post while I'm living the horrible day. See previous entry.

You're jealous of people who have more friends and / or comments than you.Don't be silly

You have written a really great, solid post – only to be disappointed by the lack of good comments.I'm maybe only disappointed by the lack of enthusiasm for Nip/Tuck or Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galazy rants. But I certainly dont' begrudge anyone

You're guilty of commenting excessively to get more traffic to your journal.Never thought of that

You've deleted a post a few minutes (or hours) after you've written it, because it seemed lame in retro spect.Clearly not, given how many lame posts I have up there. I have made updates or retractions though

You give shout outs to all your LJ friends on their birthdays.No. But that's a good idea

You have an additional, secret journal that hardly anyone knows about.No. But that is also a good idea. I can write down my sexy dreams involving hobbits.

You've broken up with someone – or ended a friendship – soley via LiveJournal.That's a whole new level of lame

You have gotten mean anonymous comments (bonus points for figuring out who it was via their IP)No, but I hope to some day

You've been reported (or reported someone) to LJ Abuse.Why does that make you addicted to LJ?

You've been featured on LJ Drama.No. But it was brought up during the Napoleon Dynamite Scandal of 2004

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are LJ addicts.

Get Your Own Addicted Meme Here

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