So Saturday…
Woke up, watched “The Office” (I'm all caught up now. God bless the British for having the most comically depressing ending to a sitcom I've ever seen). Went shopping for a silly 50's style dress for Ryan's “Enchantment Under The Sea; Back to the Future” themed birthday party dance. I looked everywhere but couldn't find anything for well endowed, non size 3 women. So I ended up just wearing the dress I wore on Friday; my 50's style cherry dress. Turned out fine because only about half the people there were dressed up anyway. Watched Firefly and ate dinner with Jacob, Faye and Dom. Waited around till 8:30 or so. Went home to get dressed. Came back and met up with Simone who was wearing a hilarious peach dress with huge sleeves. Jacob was wearing a tux and looked like he was about to play in an orchestra concert. Faye was wearing the dress from the Terry video, and Dom was wearing his old suit from High School. We were quite a group. We arrived at the Catwalk to find an already very sauced birthday boy. He was also a little stressed because his brother had not yet arrived with the music. We took stupid “prom” pictures while we waited (which I will post eventually). It was then that we noticed the women in the corner. Two women in skin tight skimpy dresses and indie haircuts were sitting with one lanky indie boy. They seemed ok at first. Just two little call girls out to make an honest living, until they stood up and starting moving about the place. It was then that we realised that they were textbook cases of Succubi. The way they couldn't walk anywhere without shaking their asses, the way they leaned into every man when they talked to them, the way one of them was married and still cock-teasing my impressionable, 22-year old friend. It was enough to make me want to vomit. Or else for me and Faye to passive-aggressively make fun of them all night. A song would come on and they would dance with each other seductively on the dance floor, trying to get every man in the room to notice them. So Faye and I would dance with each other like retards and then pretend to dry hump. Or else they would sandwich the guy they were with, and he would think he was the luckiest guy in the room. Well, he probably won't feel that way later when he discovers it hurts to urinate.
ANYWHO, these girls were just annoying until the brunette wouldn't leave my friend alone, and was so obviously getting off on making him think she was available, and then making fun of him to someone else behind his back. After that, she was on my shit list, as was her little friend and I projected all the hate I could muster their way. There are some pretty funny pictures of me and Faye making asses of ourselves as we attempted to create a foil for the Succubi.
When we weren't being visually assaulted by Succubi, we were having a pretty good time dancing to Huey Lewis and Peter Cetera and drinking far too many shots of Washington Apples. (I'm still not sure what's in those things…but they are damned tasty). I also drank quite a few vanilla vodka, coke and sodas which is a new drink I came up with accidentally when they coke ran out of syrup. It tastes just like a vanilla italian soda. Silent but deadly, my friends.
When we got home, I was starving and somehow managed to cook a full pasta dinner with garlic bread (despite lack of motor skills) which was absolutely delicious at 2:00 in the morning.
So that was that. I don't know. Maybe Faye and I are actually the bitches and those girls are very nice people. Regardless, I never want to be in the same room with them again.
It's Monday Monday. So far everything's ok. My new intern is coming in pretty soon! She seems pretty good. Nothing like the last one who complained about everything I had her do and then quit on a moments notice. This girl is very sweet and actually excited about working here. (Even after I told her what she would be doing…:)
We shall see…but I'm feeling pretty optimistic about her so far.
Effed by the Wind 