Paid in Puke S3E10: Izzy Gets the F*ck Across Town

izzy ep artOn the Series 3 finale, we go on a journey with Christian Papierniak’s 2017 indie stay-cation road movie, Izzy Gets the F Across Town, starring Mackenzie Davis and a buffet of character actors including Annie Potts, Alia Shawcat, and Carrie Coon.

It’s not without Hot Probs, but Papierniek’s debut transcends the usual romantic comedy plot of a woman trying to get back with an ex by making Izzy an anti-hero you don’t mind rooting against. it also showcases the people she meets on her car-less journey across the expanse of L.A. Plus, the seminal Riot Grrrl soundtrack kicks ass.

On our Lunchtime Poll, we tell tales of fraught journeys from our personal pasts.

Paid in Puke returns with Series 4 in Fall 2020. In the meantime, keep your heads and masks up!

Hammer to Nail Review: Tickled

tickledposter

I don’t know about you, but I hate being tickled and always have. There’s something insidious about a person forcing uncontrollable laughter out of you despite not enjoying how they’re doing it. Inexplicably, both my children love being tickled and will even request it. If they ask me to stop, I do so immediately. Their laughs are genuine, though I can’t imagine why. Even as a child, I detested it and would become furious when subjected to it. On more than one occasion, my brother received a bloody nose in response to his non-consensual tickling. So when I heard about “Competitive Endurance Tickling” – the subject of New Zealand directors David Farrier and Dylan Reeve’s documentary, Tickled – my first thought was, “DEAR GOD, WHY?!” The easy answer is the same as the reason people do anything unpleasant – money. A lot of money. But, as Farrier and Reeve soon discover, there’s a lot more to the story than that…

Read the rest at Hammer to Nail!

SIFF Review: The Lure

dalure-1

Mermaid stories have never been the most feminist of folktales. They’re either presented as evil temptresses with the sole intent of luring men to their doom, or as lonely creatures who are themselves drawn to land by a strange man, never hesitating to give up everything to be with someone who barely registers their existence. Polish horror rock opera, The Lure, is a bit of both, but with some extremely creative motifs and appropriately alluring imagery to make the more misogynistic aspects of being a fish lady more palatable…

Read the rest on Hammer to Nail!

Hotter With a Beard: Trent Reznor Edition

I was wondering why Trent was no longer showing up on my Twitter feed. Apparently, he’s over it because some people were saying nasty things about his lady friend. He’s always been very sensitive. “Pretty Hate Machine” was one of my favorite albums as a teenager and when I re-discovered it a few years ago, I realized why. The lyrics were basically excerpts from my diary. Of course, I was a 16-year-old GIRL at the time, while he was 26. I still love that record to pieces though.

But the point is, while Trent is slipping on the tears you made him cry, he has also stopped shaving. And I dare say my favorite pocket-sized goth is looking pretty terrific.

What a wonderful, thick, blacker-than-the-blackest-black beard he has these days! I’m not quite as fond of the frumpy hoodie. But imagine how delicious he’d look in a clean, collared shirt (black, of course)! I never knew he had it in him. I always assumed his face was as smooth as Rosemary’s baby’s ass.

As usual, I have D-listed to thank for the pic.

NFT Radar: Atlantic Crossing

On a recent warm Sunday morning, a crowd waited outside the Sunlight Cafe so that they could eat mediocre breakfast indoors. Meanwhile, Atlantic Crossing, with its spacious outdoor patio (direct sunlight, people!) and exceptional brunch menu, was empty. This was a culinary crime. Me, I’m a law-abiding citizen of Yum City. Every dish on their brunch menu is a winner and comes with your choice of Mimosa or Bloody Mary. They do put a LOT of ham on their Eggs Benne. But if you like to look a gift ham in the mouth, there’s always the Florentine option. The Banana Bread Pudding French Toast is decadent but not overwhelming. If you’re feeling adventurous, you can go for the Scotch Egg: an egg wrapped in sausage and then fried. But A.C. is more than brunch. Being a pub, they also come equipped with your favorite beers from the British Isles. Their modern twists on traditional pub food are staggeringly clever. They cover all sorts of things in their house made beer battered from fish and chips to avocados and they soak pork in Magners hard cider for their quesadillas. It’s almost as if beer is better off served in food. Almost…


6508 Roosevelt Way NE 98115
206-729-6266
www.atlanticcrossing.com.

X-posted from

Lies! It's all lies!

This quiz is kind of stupid because there are lots of cities I've been to that weren't listed. Like several in the UK and loads of small southern towns. And even some larger southern towns. I mean, Richmond wasn't even listed and I lived there for 11 years! It used to be the capitol of the entire country, for God's sake. But whatever. I guess these are probably supposed to be for “fun”.

UPDATE: I just want to say that I actually HAVE travelled to Latin America. I've been to Cancun which wasn't listed. I've also been to 8 towns in England BESIDES London but none of them were listed. I'd say that makes me pretty well traveled in the UK. And one of them was the place of Shakespeare's birth so I can't imagine why that doesn't “count”. Morons.

Your Travel Profile:

You Are Very Well Traveled in the Northeastern United States (71%)
You Are Somewhat Well Traveled in Canada (40%)
You Are Somewhat Well Traveled in the Southern United States (38%)
You Are Somewhat Well Traveled in the Western United States (32%)
You Are Mostly Untraveled in Eastern Europe (20%)
You Are Mostly Untraveled in Western Europe (14%)
You Are Mostly Untraveled in Southern Europe (13%)
You Are Mostly Untraveled in the United Kingdom (13%)
You Are Untraveled in Africa (0%)
You Are Untraveled in Asia (0%)
You Are Untraveled in Australia (0%)
You Are Untraveled in Latin America (0%)
You Are Untraveled in New Zealand (0%)
You Are Untraveled in Scandinavia (0%)
You Are Untraveled in the Middle East (0%)
You Are Untraveled in the Midwestern United States (0%)

mysteriousness he motioned the

WEEKEND RECAP

Friday

My mom was in town (still is till tomorrow), so after a delicious lunch at the Wild Ginger (I’d never been there but it really is as good as everyone says it is. Sometimes hype is justified), I met her for dinner in Redmond with the women of a family with whom we’ve known for 20 years. Weird. Anyway, we dined at Anthony’s which, being a seafood restaurant was still nice enough to make a pasta dish for me without the seafood. I really hate making special requests like that but if it’s between being embarrassed and missing a meal on someone else’s dime, I’m going to pick the former. After dinner, I met some folks at Ye Olde Canterbury for a quick 3 drinks before heading to bed. It was kind of quiet in there for a Friday. I hope that isn’t indicative of poor business because life without the Canterbury would be truly difficult.

Saturday

I hit a noon yoga class because I knew I wouldn’t be able to make my usual Sunday 4pm class. It had been two weeks since I’d made it to a class (both because of busy schedules and general lazyness. Bad.) and my attendance of late has been spotty in general. Needless to say, the lack of practice made my performance extremely poor. As a result, I am still sore. I really can’t go that long again. However, I hope to avoid that particular teacher in the future. While being a perfectly nice woman with what I’m sure is the best of intentions, she spoke so slooooooooowly, that the class seemed to last for ages and ages. It actually only went about 8 minutes over, but I just don’t think I can handle that kind of Haites-like environment again. I need a teacher that speaks quickly and constantly, thus making me feel like I’m working towards something, rather than stuck in something that will never end.
After class, being both famished and curious, I whipped myself up a vegetarian version of a McGriddle sandwich. It was, in fact, as delicious as the commercials boast. And my veggie version is probably slightly less heart-attack inducing. With some difficulty, I tried to select a movie to watch. I consulted my library loans and started with About Schmidt. About 10 minutes in, I was already bored to tears and so I put in 21 Grams. It was much more entertaining (Sean Penn aside) and I was reasonably invested in all the crying and drug abuse. But then Faye showed up and so we decided to watch THX 1138 instead. Turns out we should have just watched the trailer as it contained all the relevant information to understand the story and all the action from an otherwise extremely slow moving and uninteresting film. Bravo, Georgie. Another winner for you. I can see why you really went places after that. The best part was the description on the back of the box that said something to the effect of “this film paved the way for future George Lucas films such as ‘American Graffitti’ “. Ah yes. I could really see the fountain of influence for “American Graffiti” in a sci-fi social “commentary” such as THX 1138. Also, way to use the titular sound system.
After that, Dom and I supped with my mom at Roti and then drove her back to Redmond, where she is staying with the aforementioned 20 year family friends. We joined Elyse, Gene and a cast of 20’s at The House of Fun for the going away party of DJ Ron (a.k.a. DJ Nightshift). Drinks were drunk and dances were done. Everything went quite swimmingly right up to the point where we were leaving. As we walked down the (very treacherous) stairs to the car, I slipped and skidded down the pavement, skinning and bruising my already challenged knees. If it weren’t for the fortunate placement of Elyse’s ass, I would have been much more seriously injured. Thank you, Elyse’s ass. You saved my life and I shall never forget that. Here’s to you.

Sunday

Dom and I picked my mom up in Redmond once again and caught a ferry over to Vashon so that she could meet Dom’s dad and see the island. My mom was appropriately impressed with the flora and fauna of the island. We enjoyed a walk in the woods with Kirby the Beagle and some horse poop. We ate THE most delicious eggs at Homegrown. Apparently, I have never had fresh farm eggs before. It’s amazing how different (and delectable) they taste. After Vashon, we met the family friends at Ray’s Boat house were again we ate delicious food and drank some delicious wine. Really, this weekend has been all about eating and drinking. And I’m ok with that.

Tonight I get to scam one more free meal before my mom returns to New Mexico in the morning. I really hope one never gets too old to be taken out to meals by their parents.

accord atheist birdwatch expurgate dope

My friend Erik is one of those amazing writers who will be “discovered” long after his death as being one of the most funny, inventive and accurate “voices” of the 21st century. He keeps some of his writing on this website. My personal favorite is this piece which I have a feeling is “based on a true story”. It makes me laugh out loud in several places which tends to be dangerous for on-the-sly work reading. But I'll take my chances.

suck on my milkshake, beyotches

Barbie Got Back
Barbie Got Back! Go you! You're the closest thing
ever to a true black Barbie. Shake that fat
ass of yours.

If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla

with the initials "N.E."

Well, I thought things had calmed down with The Lil'est Dictator. She'll always be demanding and self-centered, but she hadn't been so outwardly vindictive lately so I thought maybe she was getting laid or something. But apparently not because as of yesterday, she is back on my immediate shit list. I'm not going to even pretend to be nice to her anymore. Here's why:

First, let me set up the scene a little bit. In this office, I am officially the bottom of the proverbial shit heap, that is true. But since there are only 4 of us, we are somewhat on equal footing. We have to be in order to run the business. Or so I thought. We all put in extra hours. The others like to stay late. I prefer skipping lunch if I have a lot to do. But lately, it hasn't been as busy so I've been actually TAKING my lunch. Even so, I arrive before EVERYONE almost EVERY MORNING and don't even get me started on all those times I arrived at 7am for our early meeting only to wait 45 minutes before anyone else showed up. In short: If I happen to take an extra 10 minutes on my lunch break ONE DAY, it shouldn't be a big deal. If I have to go to the doctor two weeks in a row because I have a legitimate medical concern, that should be ok. Especially since others in this office will disappear for two hours in the middle of the day and I don't know what they're doing or where they've gone. Does it bother me? No. Because I'm minding my own fucking business and concentrating on doing my job.

So yesterday evening, about 20 minutes to 5, Boss Man called me into his office. The bottom line was that Lil D had complained that earlier that day I was gone for two hours on a lunch break and she didn't know where I was and while I was gone she had to cover the phones. Poor little deary. Well, as it happens, I was only gone for and hour and a half and that half hour was spent in the UPS office mailing a package for my boss. Sure, she didn't know about that, because I didn't think I had to inform her of every little fucking thing I do seeing as how she's not even my direct boss. Isn't it enough that she's 24 and makes twice my salary? Isn't it enough that this is the little princess' first job and that she's never had to do any REAL WORK in her life? (I'd like to see her wash dishes for 8 straight hours in a hot dish room whilst touching other people's food). No, it's not. Apparently, she's been keeping track of my days off and sick days and lunch times, but completely missed the weeks I went without taking ANY lunch breaks because I was so busy. She forgot because she was out taking HER long lunch breaks and taking care of her shit during work hours. One day she disappeared for over 4 hours in the middle of the day to wait for the cable guy. I have lots of fodder like this to use in my defense. I used some of it yesterday and Boss Man definitely saw my side of the issue. He said he knows I work very hard, probably harder than the other two, but that he had to address the issue with me because he had been riding her about her scheduling recently. Then it all made sense. She decided to “rat” on me because she'd just gotten in trouble. What is she, 5 years old? So I'm not in trouble with Boss Man, but I do need to be careful from now on and keep strict track of all my breaks so that if she ever tries to pull this shit again, I can pull out some documentation to put her in her seat. Boss Man even suggested that I email him when I take my breaks so he has a record, all because of the little princess who is threatened by me because…why? Because I make half her salary and am the absolute bottom of the totem pole in the office? Because I am exluded from their little lunch meetings and trips to Vegas? Yeah, I can see why she would feel threatened by me.

I apologize if this entry is disjointed. I am just very angry right now. I'm sick of being nice to her and putting up with all her bullshit only to have it be thrown back in my face. To paraphrase Xander, I'm through being everyone's butt monkey.

UPDATE
I had a meeting with her at 3:00. Apparently she and Boss Man talked this morning and she pretty much reneged on the whole thing! She said she didn't want me to feel like everyone was against me and we need to be a team and that she knows I do good work. She also admitted that she overreacted about yesterday because she didn't have all the information. She was visibly nervous and her face was red and she talked a mile a minute. Meanwhile, I was stone faced and quiet. She even made a few joked to attempt to lighten the mood and I didn't budge. Awesome.