LOOOONG WEEKEND RECAP

THURSDAY

I got together a small crew to partake in 80’s night at Neighbors. Andrew joined me for prefunk at my place. I was watching my newly acquired “Fraggle Rock: The Complete First Season” from the library. I was really excited about it and very pleased to find that Fraggle Rock is just as enjoyable to me now as it was when I was 7 and our family was inexplicably receiving HBO for free.

Andrew brought me and Dom our long-awaited birthday present; a laser disc player. Dom had bought one ages ago off of ebay in order to play the only proper versions of Star Wars in existence. Of course, the player he got was broken, so he had to find somewhere to get it fixed. Meanwhile, Andrew bought us a player for our birthday but never had a chance to bring it to us. So Dom got his broken player fixed and then, on Thursday, Andrew brought us his. So now we have TWO working laser disc players. I think that’s an invitation to turn our apartment into a shrine to working obsolete media.

Andrew also brought us a new laser disc, “Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country”. He eventually convinced us to turn off the Fraggles (which he was NOT enjoying) and put on Star Trek. I’m just glad we found something we could all enjoy. Unfortunately, Andrew and I couldn’t finish the movie because there was dancing to be done.

We met Aiyana at Neighbors, but it wasn’t quite ready for us yet, so we decided to go to the Comet for a quick one. We met Derek and Annika on the way. We all got a round of Stubs, poured by the inventor of the drink himself. They are a pint of half cider/half PBR with a port chaser. The port is a little much for me, but I love the PBR/cider mix. Next time, I think I’ll just order a Stu.

Things were just getting going when we got back to Neighbors. A few hardcore dancers scattered the floor. We decided to wait it out a while longer. The lads played some pool and we watched the dance floor from the balcony.

Finally, the moment was right for us to boogie. We formed a nice little circle on the floor and danced our asses off to new wave hit after new wave hit. I love you, DJ Rock Lobster!

After we danced ourselves sore (which takes a lot less time than it used to), we headed home, but not before stopping at Pommes Frites to split a cone of chips and replenish any calories we might have previously burned.

FRIDAY
In the morning, Dom and I were lazy and it was wonderful. In the afternoon, we errands in the pouring rain. The evening brought Meep’s awesome holiday party that was fully stocked with cheese and bread (in the form of cheese logs and challah). We listened to cheesy Christmas music, enjoyed Meep’s decorations, drank Yule Logs (which are basically White Russians with egg nog instead of cream) and sifted through the gifts.

Speaking for myself, I came away with a tremendous gift haul including: mix cd’s from Gene and Elyse, candy, a paint by numbers set from Erin (which I plan to enjoy whilst stoned), and some very awesome, long coveted guilty pleasures from Meep in the form of a purple plush unicorn for my alleged new office, the Kelly Clarkson album “Breakaway” and “Walker Texas Ranger, the Final Season”. The last two items may require a little defending to my hipster brethren. First of all, Kelly Clarkson has got some pipes on her. Second, she sings the hell out of some pretty angsty songs for a pop star, and even though she doesn’t write the MUSIC, she does write most of the lyrics.

As for Walker, well, let’s just say that anyone who can appreciate the inanity and fantastical plots of a Paul Verhoeven movie combined with some comically sweeping generalizations would love this show. It’s kind of like what would happen if George Bush were a TV exec and not a puppet for puritanical dictators. Hilarity ensues.

SATURDAY

Again, my morning was delightfully unproductive. In the afternoon, Dom and I went to Elyse and Gene’s for Chinese food, the Last Starfighter, and a failed attempt to do something sacrilegious on Christmas Eve. We apparently have very few male friends who are interested in seeing naked strangers. And the ones we do have want to see the naked ladies in Lake City and not anywhere near where we live. You see, Ben had told me that he planned on going to De Ja Vous, as is his annual tradition. That sounded like a fine time to me, as it did to Elyse. But since he wasn’t going to the one downtown, Elyse and I thought that surely we could organize a separate group to come with us. We were wrong. Poo.

Instead, we wandered the deserted streets and ended up at the Cheesecake Factory, a place that would ordinarily be the bane of my nightlife. On this particular night, it was just the ticket. Sherwood hesitantly met us there. We were brushed off by our waiter (who I’m sure was none too pleased to be there) several times, but mostly enjoyed the big fru-fru drinks and Dom enjoyed the insanely ginormous portion of cheesecake. One thing I noticed about the wait staff of the Cheesecake Factory is that they are leftover bullies. They will do anything in their power to get you to take your leftovers with you. They were pushing boxes on a number of our unwilling neighbors. While I think taking your leftovers home, or at least giving them to a homeless person, is a good practice, I was a little weirded out by their fervor.

SUNDAY

Dom and I woke up early to go to West Seattle. We had breakfast and lunch with the his sister, brother-in-law and dad. We also took turns passing around our little niece, Indie. So far, she’s cute and well-behaved. I like that in a kid.

And then Dom and I exchanged gifts and I scored the most impressive gift for which I am now indentured to Dom for life. The media would have you believe that nothing makes a girl happier on a gift-giving occasion than to get some expensive jewelry from their significant other. Well, for me, getting an ipod was like getting a big fatty pink diamond ring. I got all doe-eyed and wobbly in the knees. I guess this must mean our relationship is pretty serious. So thanks Dom. Screw Jarret. My man went to the Apple Store”.

After that we went to Erin’s for a delicious vegetarian feast. We finally met the rest of her animal brood in the form of a sweet elderly Dalmatian named Amore, a spazzy kitten named Kinsey, and a friendly loaf of a cat named Toaster (who may or may not be a Cylon). Of course, we already knew Digit, who has mellowed significantly since becoming a sister.

We headed home around nine to enjoy our food coma. Dom went to play with his Gryphon and I popped in “High Tension”.

“High Tension” was a great horror/thriller. It was great at building suspense, and the gore was unrelenting. I was really enjoying it…until the last 10 minutes when it turned into an M. Night Shlamalalamaman movie. WHY?!

MONDAY

Elyse and I have been making plans to see “Breakfast on Pluto” ever since we saw that first still of the impossibly attractive Cillian Murphy in drag. That boy is so beautiful, I don’t know whether lust after him or envy his cheek bones. Anyway, we thought we were the only two people who wanted to see this movie. And of course we’d heard it was bad, and we believed it. But that wasn’t going to keep us from the ogle-fest.

I headed up to the U-District. Elyse called me to let me know that now we were being joined by Andrew…and Brugos and Derek and Aiyana. The more the merrier, I say. Elyse was running behind schedule so I was left to my own devices for a while.

I should NOT be left to my own devices in the U-district. I ended up spending money in 3 places including Zandadu Comics, the Buffalo Exchange and the new Chai cafe. As exciting to me as the prospect of a Chai café is, it becomes less exciting when I find out that their 20 flavors of Chai are all in powder form. Yech.

Eventually, I met everyone and we got our seats for the movie. Halfway through the film, the projectionist dropped the ball, and the reel just stopped. It took her a few minutes to realize what happened so we sat there staring at a blank screen for a while. Derek and Andrew took the opportunity to get out of dodge and take advantage of happy hour. They invited the rest of us to come with them but we declined, opting for pretty actors over good storytelling. The second half of the movie WAS better than the first. But it still wasn’t any good. It was a pretty fluffy, PG story about terrorism and transvestites in the 60’s/70’s. I guess Neil Jordan has gone soft in his old age. Oh well. Cillian is still very very pretty.

After some debate, Elyse and I convinced everyone to go to Dinner at Blue Sea Sushi in Fremont. Dom also met us for dinner. I had never been there and was overjoyed to find their vegetarian selection to be vast. Everything I ate was delicious.

And then it was home to cram stuff onto my ipod and dream that my holiday would last forever.

Holidays really ARE fun when you spend them with your friends and not your family. Who knew?

December 28, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

I kicked things off with a much-needed happy hour. It had been a rough week at work because the only person, who is (at least seemingly) busier than me, was out, so I had to cover for him. Anywho, we chose a place called AXIS from the Master Spreadsheet of Happy Hours that Elyse sent me, and gave it a try. AXIS, while having great deals on food and pretty good flavored Kamikazes, fills up with frat-types rather quickly. (I need a better word than that for these guys. I have no doubt that they WERE in frats in college, but they are no longer college students. They have now brought their Dane Cook-loving ways out into the corporate world.) A place like that always makes me feel pretty out of place, no matter how great the company is. And it WAS great company. Brugos, Gene and Sherwood (the latter two, rather unexpectedly) joined me. Elyse was at a beer social with her work buddies and was to show up later. The service was mixed on account of the fact that we seemed to have two waitresses. Waitress #1 was skinny, crabby and neglectful. Waitress #2 was attentive and nice. We’d put in an order with #1, with no confidence that we would actually receive said order. #2 would come and check on us and we’d order with her, and a few minutes later, we’d get what we asked for. After a few rounds of this, #1 started bringing us our orders too; only to find that #2 has already served us. Too bad, Slim. We made sure to give our tip to #2, and made a break for it when Elyse arrived, a new work buddy in tow.

The next order of business was to move on to a location that would entice Faye down the hill. I called Dom too, but he was pretty intent on spending his evening with his new friends called “World” and “of Warcraft”. Gene talked to Faye while we devised our plan: One margarita at Mama’s and then on to the Rendezvous. At Mama’s, there was a long wait for tables, but somehow they got our large party seated in the Elvis room. This compelled some of us to actually order more than just drinks, as we decided they would be pretty pissed at us otherwise. Faye showed up and found us easily enough. She just followed the sounds of the obnoxious laughter.

Next, we moved to the Rendezvous. It was pretty clear before we even went through the door, that there weren’t any tables available. We devising a plan B, when Elyse charged through the door and said that she was “there for the party in the Grotto”. How she knew there even WAS a party in the Grotto, I don’t know, but Brugos and I followed her downstairs anyway. And sure enough, there was a party. From what we could tell, it was a gamer gathering, because they were giving away Playstations and Playstation accessories. Eventually, the others crept downstairs. We figured we were geeky enough. No one would notice us. We ordered drinks from Flamin’ Tom Savini and tucked in to an open booth. Faye, Gene and Sherwood remained standing, however. They were never quite comfortable (and rightly so). Eventually, they left to go to Shorty’s, and we said we’d be along soon. But before we could leave on our own accord, we got busted. Elyse got up to get a drink, and some guy approached her work buddy, Wade. The guy asked Wade if he was a friend of “Big Fish”. Wade said yes, but it was pretty clear that either there WAS no “Big Fish” or he knew Wade was lying. He gave us the stink eye and walked over to his group of friends. We gathered our things, and as we headed for the exit, he flashed a smug smile in our direction.

On to Shorty’s! I can’t speak for everyone, but I was certainly pretty schnockered at this point. Luckily, I had chosen the magical combination of liquors to afford me a drunken cognizance. In other words, I was still in control of my actions. I was just too impaired to play any pinball, as I learned after an embarrassing round of 2-player Lord of the Rings pinball. Brugos kicked ass at it though. I’d never seen anyone anger the Balrog before. That was cool.

After we closed out Shorty’s, Elyse, Gene and Wade left us. The remaining 4 opted to head back to Faye’s house for a reenactment of the previous Friday’s Katamari tournament. It was FREEZING out (and raining drops “the size of babies fists”, as Brugos put it) and so we opted to cab it. Actually hailing a cab turned out to be trickier than one would think. Despite us being on a one-way street, the cabs would not change lanes to stop for us. They would only stop for the people on the other side. Brugos even CALLED a damned cab, but it never came. Or, if it did, we suspect, someone else got it. Eventually, a car stopped for us, and we stuffed ourselves inside.

Going to Faye’s was probably excessive at this point, but it was still fun. We drank some PBR and broke out the video games. I tried to play some old arcade games on Faye’s Playstation, but I did NOT have the motor skills. Instead, we once again found ourselves watching Sherwood play Katamari. At one point, I accidentally called my friend Adriano (as he’s the first name in my address book), and left a 15-minute message on his phone wherein all he could hear was two female voices and a male voice saying “Go up! Now go left! Get it! Yay! Now go right!”. He thanked me for that message.

As it was 4 in the morning, and we were all well beyond function-ability, we called it quits. I introduced Brugos to my couch and passed out myself.

SATURDAY

I must have been fucked by the drinking fairy because when I woke up, I had NO hangover! None! Amazing! I haven’t gotten off scott-free like that since before I lived in London. I can’t say the same for my cohorts. Sherwood sent me a text message that just said “ow”. I didn’t dare call Faye until after noon. I don’t know how Brugos was feeling, but I heard him drink some water and leave around 9. I probably felt good, in part, because I made myself stay in bed till 10:30. Then I drank a ton of water, made some hashbrowns and eggs, and Dom and I watched “Star Wars” on his now fully functional Laser Disc player! Who could ask for a better morning? “Star Wars?” was glorious. I know there’s a theory that we only feel that way because of nostalgia. But damnit, I disagree. Those special effects still (mostly) look kick ass to me. Harrison Ford is so suave and badass. Even whiny little Luke comes into his own by the end, taking charge of the assault on the Death Star. Sure, there are some cheesy moments. But there are some really cool ones too. I’d say all the time and money Dom has spent on his Laser Disc situation is worth it.
We are DEFINITELY going to be having an “Empire Strikes Back” party sometime in the near future. Probably won’t be till after New Years, on account of all the holiday parties. But keep, say, the second weekend in January open…

Eventually, I worked my way over to Faye’s, where Sherwood was waiting, and we ventured out into the world to get some dinner. We took Sherwood to Ballet for the first time. Ballet is an Asian “variety” place that serves a lot of vegetarian options and mock meats. Of course, like a lot of these places, their mock meat all tastes the same, but it’s delicious. I recommend the fried rice and the curry. It’s also a good place to go with a mixed crowd because they serve meat dishes too.

While we waited for our food, I thumbed through the Stranger for some ideas about what to do with our evening. By then, it was pretty clear that if I were to press the Aeon Flux issue, I would be spending Saturday evening by myself. Oh well. I guess in this day and age, I will only have to wait a few months to rent it.

After dinner, we went with Sherwood to a little independent comic store which was blaring some awful sad bastard-ette music, that I attribute to making Faye ill. Still, somehow we convinced her to come with us downtown so that Dom could look for pants. We braved Pacific Place and Nordstrom but didn’t find pants. At this point, Faye was feeling VERY ill. Probably something to do with yuppies Christmas shopping. We hopped on a bus and went back to my house. Sherwood left us to satisfy his sudden urge to “be domestic”. Faye collapsed on our couch. Dom and I went to the grocery store and video store for reinforcements.

At this point, all I really wanted out of the evening was to watch “The Fantastic Four”. I was certain that it had come out on DVD. So we went to the video store, only to find that I was wrong. It actually comes out tomorrow. Instead, we rented “War of the Worlds”. It turned out to be a pretty good alternative. I must say, that everything Mark said about this film was correct. The first hour or so are AWESOME. The special effects really are awe-inspiring. The tripods are fucking SCARY, as are their people-dusting capabilities. Not as scary, of course, as Dakota Fanning, who’s “immortal soul” eyes and demeanor give me the willies. Anyway, Tom Cruise played himself which, in this role, was appropriate. The wonderful eye-candy in the form of Cruise’s “son” didn’t hurt either. Hello Justin Chatwin! I don’t know when Stuart Townsend and Chris Hardwick had a kid, but I condone that union whole-heartedly.

After the aliens trap Tom and Dakota in a basement with Tim Robbins, the story starts to fall apart. Seeing the aliens is pretty kick-ass though. They’re actually kind of cute! 10 minutes into the movie, Sherwood called us to tell us that he was done being domestic and joined us for some mindless entertainment. “War of the Worlds” is definitely a great Saturday-evening veg. movie. I’m sorry I doubted you, Mark. I didn’t realize that Spielberg could still wow me with his special-effects. He still can’t tell a complete, satisfactory story though.

After the movie ended, Dom and Sherwood retired to the office to do Men Things. Faye and I flipped around on TV and found a movie I didn’t even think they could get away with making anymore. It’s called “Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life” and it’s about a teenage boy who has everything going for him. He’s a star athlete on the swim team, he gets good grades, and he’s got a beautiful girlfriend who won’t sleep with him. Then, one night, he “accidentally” discovers internet porn whilst googling research for a paper. This spirals him into a dangerous addiction, wherein he spends all night surfing the internet (and NOT masturbating), looking at boobies. This porn is only a gateway, however. Soon, he’s into the “heavy” stuff, like bondage and leather. He also discovers pictures that a girl at his school has taken and posted on the internet. He starts seeing her secretly and she seduces him. At the last minute, he decides he doesn’t want to have sex with her, but…she…FORCES him too. Meanwhile, he’s doing poorly on the swim team because he’s not getting any sleep. His grades are dropping. He’s mean to his mother (played by Kelly Lynch) because she’s pressing him about his lifestyle choices. It’s like she doesn’t even KNOW him anymore. It’s like….he’s addicted…to INTERNET PORN!
But don’t you worry, because true love will find a way. His sweet Christian girlfriend eventually gives him an ultimatum. He must choose between his sordid life of looking at boobies and not whacking off, or being with her and getting a bad case of the blue balls. He decides he wants to be with her. So…he…BAPTIZES HIMSELF IN THE SCHOOL SWIMMING POOL. And that’s the END of the goddamned movie. The “underlying” message of this whole story is revealed in a scene in which Kelly Lynch asks her co-worker how you can check what websites your kids have been going to. Her co-worker says you can check the history, but that “a savvy internet user will just erase the history. Cover their tracks”. And Kelly Lynch responds “The internet is a scary place”. Not as scary, as the studio that makes Lifetime original movies, if you ask me.

SUNDAY

I did some chores and went to yoga where I stood next to a tall skinny guy with a HUGE cock. How do I know he had a huge cock? Because he was wearing nothing but a Speedo. In our class, you are supposed to keep your eyes in the mirror so that you can constantly check and correct your posture. How I made it through the series, I don’t know. My eyes were constantly drawn to his ginormous bulge. Dude, I know you’re probably really proud of your humungous member, but some of us are trying to achieve enlightenment over here. PLEASE put on some shorts.

December 5, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment