Liam and Noel are Faye's adorable rodents. I can't find a picture of the camera shy, Noel, but here's Liam! The above picture is of some other, much fatter rodent enjoying his birthday cake, much like Faye's boys will be doing tonight.
They are two-years old today!
10 longest running friends (From the time that we became friends, not necessarily when I first met them). Obviously, I have no current friends from pre-college. Is that sad?
1. Kristie (since summer 1996)
2. Nikki (since fall 1996)
3. Frank (since spring 1997)
4. Erin (since summer 1998)
4. Faye (since summer 1998)
5. Jacob (since summer 1999)
6. Sherwood (since summer 2000)
7. DJ (since summer 2000)
8. Dan (since summer 2001)
9. Ryan (since fall 2002)
10. Dom (since summer 2003)
9 of your favorite foods
Peanut Butter
Milk
Fuji Apples
Portobello Mushrooms
Quesadillas
Baked beans
Potatoes in any form
Snack Pack
Lentils
8 of your favorite movies (This is never not a difficult question for me)
Back to the Future
The Beaver Trilogy
Night of the Living Dead
Human Nature
Straight to Hell
Dellamorte Delamore
True Romance
Harold and Maude
7 of your favorite shows of all time
The Young Ones
The State
Freaks and Geeks
Mr. Show
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Angel
Firefly
6 of your favorite songs
“Sad Song” Oasis
“Janie Jones” The Clash
“Countdown” Pulp
“It Doesn’t Matter Anymore” Buddy Holly
“Acquiesce” Oasis
“Major Tom (Coming Home)” Peter Shilling
5 stores you shop at
Safeway
Rainbow Grocery
Crossroads
Ross Dress For Less
Red Light
4 things you’re afraid of
Getting trapped in and/or crashing to my death in an elevator
Never making a living doing what I love
Becoming my mother
Living in regret
3 of your favorite bands/artists
Oasis
Buddy Holly
The Clash
2 of your most prized possessions
My original painting by Shannon Freshwater of Crispin Glover turning a cat into a jello mold.
My autographed Ron Jeremy picture
1 wish you’ve always dreamed of coming true
Painless and inexpensive full knee replacement.
SUPER LONG WEEKEND RECAP
WEDNESDAY
The evening began a little early for me. The Other One in the office bolted at 3 because his wife was having a baby. As a result, Boss Man’s heart grew 3 sizes and he let us all go home. I decided to take the opportunity to watch “Finding Neverland”, which I needed to return to the library. I had been putting it off because it’s hard to get excited about watching a movie in which you know someone is going to die of a horrible disease. But I found myself in a rare, weepy mood, so I put it in. And weep I did. You see? I’m not entirely made of stone. I may be annoyed by Nora Ephron movies, and derive glee from watching teenagers get hacked to death, but I can be moved by consumption, loves that can never be and, very occasionally, small children who have seen too much pain.
After dinner, I headed over to Faye’s for ANTM and Veronica Mars. I can take or leave ANTM in general, but it’s a lot of fun to watch with Faye. I was saddened by the outcome if only because now we can’t make anymore “Just One of The Guys” jokes. And how often do you get to do THAT in life? Veronica Mars was consistent with the good writing. I’m glad Faye finally turned me from the Dark Side of Wednesday night TV. I can only habitually watch SO MANY shows on which all the characters annoy the crap out of me. Not one to waste an evening off, I was determined to tie a few on. So after TV, Sherwood stopped by Faye’s apartment and we headed off into the gloriously foggy night. We hoped to find a seat at the Comet, but, since everyone had Wednesday off, the Comet was packed. Sherwood and I opted for the perpetual Plan B, which is the Canterbury. I think Plan B was better anyway because we wouldn’t have been able to have our conversation at The Comet. It was one of those nostalgia-filled conversations that make you feel all warm and fuzzy and also a little sad.
THURSDAY
Dom and I woke late and got a late start. It’s hard to get up and go on your first day off in a long while. We stayed in our pajamas until noon and didn’t leave the house until 1. Armed with pies and bags of groceries, we sped off to West Seattle to catch the ferry to Vashon. As we rounded the corner, we realized that if we were to remain in the car, like most stubborn Seattleites, we would never get on the damned ferry. So we opted, instead, to park and haul everything onto the ferry as walk-ons. Even though we parked up a hill and the bags were heavy, it was definitely the optimal decision. Besides, in Dom’s car, I never would have met the Mighty-O Donut angel who was inexplicably wandering around the waiting area handing out free vegan donuts!
Dom’s dad, Phil, waited for us on the other side and drove us and our haul to his house, where I was immediately put to work in the kitchen. It turns out that it doesn’t take very long to cook a Thanksgiving meal if you aren’t roasting a turkey. Veat “poultry” breasts can be ready in half an hour, even with a marinade involved. An hour and a half later, we were sitting down to dinner with Phil and Phil’s employee, Jerry. Everyone seemed to enjoy their meal, even though I was the only vegetarian present. After dinner, we watched a few “Greg the Bunny” episodes on IFC, and the boys played with the HAM radio. I played with Catalina, the world’s smallest adult cat. And of course, there was PIE!
After pie, I either needed a nap, or to just go to bed outright. It was after 8, I think, when we started back to Seattle. Holiday time is hard to judge. Anyway, I slept well that night.
FRIDAY
I cooked a little breakfast for me and Dom and we were utterly useless for a few hours. Around 3, Dom left for the Gadzook office, and I got ready for whatever the evening might bring. The evening, at first, brought Sherwood and his lap top. He offered to allow me to peruse his i-tunes for albums I’d like to burn. I’m sure he regretted it immediately, because he was hungry and ended up burning about 12 CD’s before we left for dinner. Sherwood was craving Won Ton soup; so of course, we went to the Wok and Grill. We were trying to decide what to do after that. Brugos wanted karaoke (and, of course, I can’t turn that down), but he wanted to go to the Mandarin Gate. Faye, I believe, said she would rather eat her own face than go there again. I got a hold of a Stranger and we discovered, to our delight, that Angel was spinning the karaoke at the Wild Rose. Faye, Borgia and Brugos met me and Sherwood at the Rose 30 minutes later. Sherwood sang “Bullet with Butterfly Wings”. Brugos sang “Still Loving You” by the Scorpions, and I sang “Angels” by Robbie Williams. After our round, we were ready to move to greener pastures, meaning we would go to Faye’s place and play drinking games. After a few failed attempts at “the word association game” and “the movie actors game”, we tried to play Kings. Borgia could see Sherwood’s hand and kept giving him advice and no one, it seemed, could concentrate. So before long, Borgia passed out in Faye’s bed, and Brugos and I watched Faye and Sherwood play Katamari Damacy. What I learned: Drinking games are only good as a means to an end, not as a perpetuator of drunkenness. Still, we managed to keep the party going until FOUR in the morning. No WONDER we all felt like the fuzzy end of the lollipop the next day.
SATURDAY
There was nothing for it but a big, greasy breakfast at the Canterbury, as served by the World’s Worst Waitress. Dom, Borgia, Faye, Sherwood and I were in attendance. After breakfast, Borgia left us to go watch hockey. Faye, Sherwood and I huddled together in the living room and giggled at the “Contractual Obligation Album” by Van Morrison. Sherwood went home for about an hour and a half, and Faye and I ventured out into the world for reinforcements. I was in the mood to watch young people get slaughtered. We got two movies from On-15th and then to went to Rainbow Grocery for soy jerky and not at ALL to ogle the new hottie pie that works there. When we got back, we ordered pizza and dessert to be delivered from Palermo, a mere two blocks away. THAT’S what the previous night’s antics had turned us into.
We made a bad call on the slasher movie. We rented the utterly intolerable “R.S.V.P.”. Even when scripts are uninspired, I don’t usually notice bad camera work on a studio picture, but it was really evident here. The plot was non-existent, when it wasn’t being pilfered directly from another movie. Even the presence of Glen Quinn didn’t help. He’d been obviously having a hard time deciding whether his character was Irish or American. And, since it turned out to be his last film, I think we can safely blame his involvement in that cinematic disaster for his drug overdose. Sherwood and I decided to light up. Faye mercifully began fast-forwarding through the movie. Sherwood, couldn’t handle it anymore and went home to listen to music. It’s too bad too, because next we put in Martin and Orloff, which Sherwood would have loved. It has a quieter humor than the “Upright Citizens Brigade” TV show, but it’s still just as bizarre. Faye correctly likened it to the “Brain Candy” of UCB. I can’t remember when we watched the small dog category of the Purina Dog Show, but that happened too. Damn, those little dogs crack me up. Especially the ones that are so furry, they look to be gliding across the arena without legs. Some SNL reruns also happened. Faye astutely observed that even though there are some very funny people involved, the current cast would be utterly lost without Amy Poehler.
SUNDAY
I was in a rare, productive mood, so I took care of some internet shopping, some tidying, some mending and some digitizing of VHS tapes. I also went to yoga! In my ongoing attempt to see the classic films that I should have watched years ago, I watched “Dog Day Afternoon” while I mended. There’s PROOF for you that Pacino has gotten very very lazy. I watch his subtle nuances in “Dog Day Afternoon” and I can’t help but be moved. Contrariwise, I watch him scream his head off in “The Devil’s Advocate” or “Any Given Sunday” (or even, if you ask me, “Scent of a Woman”) and I can’t help but feel that his ongoing critical acclaim is just force of habit.
Next Weekend: Aeon Flux, anyone?
WEEKEND RECAP
FRIDAY
Borgia was kind enough to make a big Italian dinner at the Zookster house in honor of Gene’s birthday (a week late). He made antipasti, salad, manicotti with meatballs (and veggie balls) and tiramisu. The whole spread was delectable. First, we annoyed the neighbors with a Journey sing-along. Then we put on the movie that Gene brought the film Disco Godfather. It was basically the Reefer Madness of crack starring Dolemite. And, of course, it was awesome.
After the movie, Dom put in Clash of the Titans (one of the greatest movies…ever), and several people who would have otherwise left, were sucked in. We were all falling asleep near the end, but we couldn’t stop it before the Kraken was defeated!
Once the constellations were named, everyone sleepily filed out and we went to bed.
SATURDAY
Dom and I decided to go to Crossroads to sell some clothes. We brought one trash bag full each. As we waited for them to pick through our goods, we looked for warm clothes to bring to Park City. They called us each up and informed us that our crap wasn’t good enough for them. It’s odd, because in my perusal, I saw several items that looked like what I was selling. I’m sure it’s just that the selling “guidelines” are at the whim of whoever is rifling through your goods. In this case, they weren’t impressed with Dom’s Ralph Loren shirts or my Old Navy or Bon stuff. Of course we each bough something so they made money off rejecting us. Then we brought our bags to Value Village. We paid to trade two large bags of clothes for two small bags of clothes. What a deal!
Next, we needed snacks and I needed caffeine. We brought our goodies back to the apartment and watched Predator 2 on TV until it was time to meet Faye.
Faye, Dom and I met Ben and his girlfriend at the Dragonfish for happy hour and Harry Potter pre-funk. The waitress was nice enough, but our server, who looked like Fiona Apple, had a little bug up her butt. She yelled at me for lighting up a clove, which I can understand because a lot of places allow cigarettes but no cloves, but it was the WAY in which she yelled, which was startling, embarrassing and angering all at once. Faye said I sound like that sometimes when I’m stressed so that will keep me thinking about my tone of voice from now on. (By the way, smoking ban aside, why IS it that cloves aren’t allowed a lot of places that cigarettes are? They smell so lovely! I think most people would agree they are more pleasant that Marlboros. None of that will matter soon anyway, but it’s something that’s always bugged me). While we gorged ourselves on deliciousness, we played a few old drinking games (the actor-movie-actor game and the word association game) and two new games I made up: The McG game and the Poor Man’s Actor game. The McG game can be played two ways. You either name a song and pick which movie or TV show McG would most likely use it for were he the executive producer, or else, you pick a movie and TV show and try and pick the most likely song. For those of you not aware, McG is the new Jerry Bruckheimer. He produces TV shows like The O.C. and movies like Charlie’s Angels, and he picks the music. In every case, he picks a song that is the most LITERAL translation of the plot. For example, the theme to the O.C., set in California is “California” by Phantom Planet. If he had been the executive producer of, say, Kung Fu starring David Carradine, the theme song would have been “Kung Fu Fighting”.
The Poor Man’s Actor is simple. You name an A or B-list actor and try and think of who the B or C list actor who is on a similar career path. For example, Monica Potter is the poor man’s Julia Roberts (or at least, old, Romantic Comedy Julia Roberts). It is also expectable to make joke comparisons, provided they are like the following one that Dom came up with: Joaquin Phoenix is the poor man’s River Phoenix.
When happy hour ended, we headed over to Pacific Place to get in line for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. There was already a line, but it wasn’t so bad that we wouldn’t get a decent seat all together. Unfortunately, the place was CRAWLING with 12-year old girls, several of whom sat directly behind us and were shocked by EVERYTHING. Despite that annoyance, the film was extremely enjoyable. It seems like every male extra was plucked fresh from the Hottie tree. And of course, David Tennant, the new Dr. Who, is also easy on the eyes. The Hogwarts lads are all growing up quite nicely. Even Ron’s older twin brothers aren’t looking too shabby, despite the fact that twins make me extremely uncomfortable. Perhaps the best surprise was that the Hogwarts prom band was fronted by the god of sex himself, Jarvis Cocker. I am desperate to get my hands on a copy of the song they sang in which they rhymed “dawn” with “unicorn”. It is regrettably lacking from the soundtrack.
Eye candy aside, the film was great too. The ending confrontation was really quite intense and since I haven’t read the books, I didn’t know what was going to happen. The kids are turning into fine actors (though Emma Watson is treading on melodramatic ice).
After the movie, Ben and his g/f took their leave, and the Troika contemplated our options. We had two separate invitations to karaoke, but no one was feeling it so we ended up in bed fairly early.
SUNDAY
And thus begins my most productive Sunday in ages. The Troika met out-of-town friends David, Sarah, and their baby Mirabelle along with Erin and Rene at Charlie’s for brunch. Erin told us all about her and Rene’s upcoming wedding and Sarah and David passed around their unconscious baby. Man, I wish I could sleep as hard as that kid can. Sarah and David are cool parents with a good sense of humor. Mirabelle is lucky. Especially since Sarah seems to have pretty good baby-fashion sense. There won’t be many outfits that Mirabelle will grow up to be embarrassed of.
The Troika walked Sarah, David and the kid back to their car, at which point, Mirabelle saw the swings in the refurbished hobo park. Apparently, she jonses for swings and will not let us until she gets her fix. We left them to it.
Next, Dom took me and Faye with him to the Gadzook office so we could sneak in some time in the gym. The office is in the first floor of a condo complex. Faye and I abused ourselves for a little over an hour and then we got out of there.
We went home, showered, and then rendezvoused with Sherrard at Than Brothers for some steamy and delicious Pho. Sherrard then left us to go to HIS gym, and we stopped at the grocery store before ending up at the Zookster pad.
Sherrard and Borgia later joined us to finally watch my VHS copy of Star Crash, which is a Star Wars rip off from 1979, starring some dudes you’ve never heard of, David Hasslehoff and Christopher Plummer. It is just as scattered, campy and hilarious as you would imagine. It was love at first sight for Sherrard. I’m gonna have to transfer this puppy onto DVD because the VHS isn’t looking so hot.
It was nice to not be a pajama hermit for once on a Sunday.
This is one is KINDA cool on account of the comparison betwixt the you's of old and new. But then again, those same questions keep coming up. Oh well…
15 years ago…
How old were you? 12
What grade were you in? Grade 7
Where did you go to school? The Millwood School. A VERY small private school. There were only 6 people in my class. It was a horrible place.
Where did you work? I think I MIGHT have babysat once at that point in my life.
Where did you live? Midlothian, VA.
Where did you hang out? My only friend at school, Sharon Schofield, and my neighbor, Dawn Weber. Sharon was a borderline hardcore Christian. She took me to a concert by a religious rock singer called Carmen, who was kind of like the Christian Neil Diamond. It was an eye-opening experience, to say the least. Dawn was a super cool girl who had ripped jeans like Debbie Gibson and listened to They Might Be Giants. I wonder where she is now.
How was your hair style? I do believe that was the year I tried to get poofy bangs like all the cool girls. Anyone who knows how impossibly straight my hair is can imagine how badly that turned out.
Did you wear braces? Nope. That’s the ONE genetic blessing I have. Problem-less teeth.
Did you wear glasses? No. My eyes didn’t start to go till adulthood.
Who was your boyfriend/girlfriend? Well, I WANTED it to be either Fred Savage or Bart Simpson. But instead it was my hand.
Who was your celebrity crush? Fred Savage and Bart Simpson.
Who was your regular-person crush? For a while I had a crush on a boy named Lyle. Being that our school was so small, my options were pretty limited. But Lyle, it turns out, was a total A-hole and he, like everybody else, only wanted to go out with Nikki, the beautiful blonde girl who’s mother was called “Bunny”.
Were you a virgin? And then some.
How many piercings did you have, not including ears? Not a one.
How many tattoos did you have? Zilch. I didn’t try to make my own tattoo until I was 14.
What was your favorite band? Def Leppard. How I wasn’t considered cool at my school, I have NO idea.
What was your biggest fear? The other kids finding out about how crazy my mother was.
Had you smoked a cigarette yet? No
Had you gotten drunk or high yet? My mom used to give me and my brother hot chocolate and Schnapps at Christmas time, but not enough to get me drunk.
Had you driven yet? I’d barely learned to ride a bike.
Which of your pets were still alive? My cats; Cinderella, Katie and Curry.
NOW IT'S FALL 2005
How old are you? 27
What grade are you in? The grade of life
Where do you go to school? The school of knard hocks.
Where do you work? Poopypants Capital Management
Where do you live? Seattle, WA
Where do you hang out? MOSTLY: The Canterbury, Wok and Grill, Faye's apartment, my apartment. Occassionally: Shorty's, The Dragonfish, The Nite Lite. I'm willing to try anywhere once, though.
How is your hair style? Long and straight as can be with bangs.
Do you wear braces? No sir.
Do you wear glasses? Only at the movies. The rest of the time, my world has a vague, blurry outline.
Who is your boyfriend/girlfriend? Gadzook
Who is your celebrity crush? Oh, I have dozens. To name a few: Joss Whedon, Ackles and Padalecki, Nathan Fillion, Gina Torres & Asia Argento in my pocket.
Who is your regular-person crush? Elyse after seeing her in Cats.
Are you a virgin? Not especially.
How many piercings do you have, not including ears? I’m pretty sure my ear holes are currently non-functional. So I’m going with none.
How many tattoos do you have? Two with (hopefully) one on the way.
What is your favorite band? It will probably always be Oasis, no matter how much their new stuff sucks ass.
What is your biggest fear? Dying with regret.
Have you smoked a cigarette yet? Mmmhmm.
Have you gotten drunk or high yet? Not today. But it IS 9:30…
Have you driven yet? Yes. But not well.
Which of your pets are still alive? From 15 years ago? Katie (lives with my mom) and possibly Curry.
WEEKEND RECAP
FRIDAY
After a rather trying day at work, I was SO ready to kick the evening off at Ohana Happy Hour with Elyse. Despite discovering a disagreement about the recent state-wide smoking ban initiative (I was against it), we Blue Hawaiianed our differences away. Before long, B. arrived and our conversation turned from politics to sexual fetishes and awkward sexual encounters. We continued this conversation even as B’s boss sat down at a nearby table with her husband and baby. Borg and Gene also joined us after a while. God, I love Ohana. Amazing food and powerful drinks at a low price, provided you’re there during happy hour. Otherwise, the prices are fairly steep. The only real downer was at 8:00 when our waitress told us that there is a two hour limit on sitting at the booths which we had already well surpassed. Of course there were no other tables and so we’d have to corral ourselves into the bar area. I’m still not sure if this was even true or if they’d simply gown tired of our borderline inappropriate public conversation. It’s kind of a strange policy they have. It seems like it would drive customers away, not make more people happy, because we certainly weren’t going to stay standing in the bar. But they did buy us off with a round of free shots (another reason that I’m suspicious about said “policy”). After we took our shots (Yeager for the fellows, Washington Apples for the ladies), we moved the party to Shorty’s. Well, MOST of us did. B. decided to go catch a booty call. At Shorty’s, we made fun of the ladies in a free fetish magazine. Then Elyse and Gene had to take off to meet some other folks. Borg and I stayed at Shorty’s waiting for Dom and Meep to finish at the office. (That’s right, the OFFICE! The Gadzook FILMS office, to be more specific. How awesome is that?!) When they finally called, we decided to take it back up the Hill to the Canterbury. We were then joined by Sherwood who was looking dapper, having just been out with his parents. The Canterbury was uneventful but pleasant nonetheless.
SATURDAY
Dom, Meep, Borg and I headed up to Bellingham to support “Snow Day” in a film festival. We went up last year for “Love and 145 Watts” and “Terry”. We brought Sherwood with us last year and have, perhaps, permanently warped him as a result of us all having sat through a 45 minute long movie about a magical hobo and two very annoying guys. The festival has been advertised a lot more this year (in the Stranger, no less) and seems to be much better organized so we were still pretty optimistic about the outcome. We got up to B-Ham around 4:00 and checked into the Travelodge. We rested up for a few minutes and then headed into town to pick up our pass (split betwixt the 4 of us), wander around and get some dinner before the show. When we got our pass, we ran into the festival director who was very nice. He told us that he was asking attending filmmakers to share a fun fact when we were introduced. He also mentioned that the previous night, our movie was very well received. He said all the shows have been selling out and that there were about 100 people in the audience. This gave us even more hope for the evening.
We started to wander around town a bit, but it was too cold, so, at Borg’s suggestion, we decided to get a beer inside the “Ranch Room”. The Ranch Room was what Linda’s would be if it were frequented by actual cowboys and small town locals, instead of hipsters. The wall décor was similar, but there was no loud Franz Ferdinand or rude waiters. Just nice people wait staff and normal customers. While we drank, we discussed what our fun fact would be. We decided to make something up. In the end, we settled on telling everyone that the snow was made by putting bears and ice blocks on ladders and having the bears maul the ice blocks.
When we started to get tipsy, we decided to order food. Holy Heavenly Greasy Spoon! There was a happy hour appetizer menu, a couple of veggie sandwiches and…yam fries! I think Faye got some pictures of our dreamy spread. It was 100% satisfactory. They also had a state-of-the-art juke box with a touch screen and the ability to trump the song order with additional credits. Of course I would never USE this feature, but it’s interesting to note the advancement of the juke box.
After dinner and a few more rounds, we went to the theatre. The previous show had not yet let out, so we wandered up the street to kill 10 minutes, and found and role-playing store. It was closed, but we gawked into the windows for a little while.
We went back to the theatre, got our tickets and found our seats. While everyone was being seated, a woman announced that she was about to show a 12-year-old boy’s film on her lap top. She said that the film had ALMOST made it into the festival, but because she liked it so much, she wanted to show it. So a bunch of us gathered around the boy and the lap top to watch. The short was 5 minutes of people blowing up pyramids of Dixie cups in different ways. Obviously, watching cups blow up is pretty cool, but there were a number of jokes in the editing as well. This young man has a bright future and it BAFFLES me that his short didn’t make it in. Especially after seeing some of the films that did.
The categories in our program were: Animation, Experimental and Pure Schlock (us). The program started off well, with a funny and SHORT comedic piece. There seemed to be a LOT of experimental films which were annoying (as most indie experimental films seem to be), but nothing could have prepared us for the hell that was to befall our senses. The concept: a girl “dances” around in her bathroom to the length of an EP. The dancing: sometimes writhing, sometimes standing still for seemingly minutes, other times clutching the toilet, still other times, pretending to take a shower. The music: slow and lyrically challenged. The girl: droopy breasted and not nearly hot enough to make the short interesting. When it started, one got the sense that it was a music video…for ONE song. When the second song started, Meep said, she knew there was going to be a third song because of how slow it was. I didn’t know this. I mounted my hopes on the ending of each song, thinking “This has GOT to be almost over” or at least “Maybe she’ll kill herself or something. She can’t JUST be dancing in the goddamned bathroom.” 5 very long songs later, it turns out, she WAS just dancing in the goddamned bathroom. Near the end of it, 15 people walked out. We don’t blame them. We would have considered leaving too if our movie had already played. But it hadn’t. Thanks a lot, bathroom lady. Instead, I was just considering the upsides to a self-lobotomy.
When our movie played, the laughs were quiet and infrequent. My theory is that the people who decided to stay were so dumbfounded by the bathroom short that they were unable to enjoy anything after that. It’s certainly how we felt.
Galloo was also in the audience to see our film for the first time. He was in B-ham for the weekend to visit his new g/f. We kind of wish he’d seen it under more pleasant circumstances but hey, Galloo, that’s your penance for waiting so long. :P
Our movie was the last to play. On the way out the door, we ran into the festival director again and he asked if we were going to stay for the next night’s award’s ceremony. We told him (truthfully) that we had to leave Sunday morning for work. He kept asking if we were SURE we couldn’t stay or if we knew someone, ANYONE in Bellingham who could be there. Hmm…perhaps we won a prestigious Golden Hamster? Time will tell. But we couldn’t stay.
We briefly popped in on an after-show party which took place in a tiny tiny room. Then we decided that the best course of action would be to find a grocery store and get some beer and pie to take back to the room.
SUNDAY
We awoke after a typical restless motel night’s sleep. We breakfasted at I-Hop (because every other place in town seemed to have a wait) and headed back to Seattle. Despite two car accidents within a mile of one-another, it didn’t take too long to get home. Dom and Meep went to the office to work on “Wizards of the Toast” and I vegged out on the couch. Ah, the life of a kept woman.
Next weekend: Gene’s Birthday and Harry Potter
WEEKEND RECAP
FRIDAY
A while ago, Sherwood alerted my attention to a little porn film called “Re-Penitrator”. In theory, this sounded like the greatest idea ever. They even managed to convince me through their trailer that it would be pornographic parody genius. So I assembled a group of enthusiasts (Dom, Meep, Sherwood & Ahe) and we set to watch the film. Unfortunately, like so many films in general, the trailer was better than the execution. In fact, at only 20 minutes in length, the trailer pretty much WAS the movie. And though we came away from it with many quotable lines, it’s actually much funnier when we quote them than when they were originally said in the film. The production value was awful, the sex awkward, and the set sparse. When the sex fiend killed Dr. Breast, it was KIND of cool, but only in that disemboweling was a welcome relief to the boring, recycled shots we’d watched previously. Furthermore, the characters promised that afterward they were going to get “fucking drunk” and it never happened. For shame.
We poured over what could follow such a let down. Eventually, we settled on Roger Corman’s “Fantastic Four”, a film that was never released. I scored a bootlegged copy of it on ebay for Dom for his birthday (on two VCD’s. Yeah, I know I could have done better) and we started the movie with an air of cautious optimism. This time, we were not let down. Of COURSE the film was terrible, but only in that delightful, ridiculously low budget, horribly acted, rife with homoeroticism Roger Corman kind of way. It was hard to believe that the film was made in 1994 as it looked like something out of the early 80’s. I will briefly outline the delightfully non-sensical plot for those not in attendance:
In the not-so-distant future, 3 grad school students and best friends, Ben, Reid and Victor, worked on some kind of project involving lasers. Reid and Victor have all kinds of sexual tension. Meanwhile, the young Storm siblings watched TV and ran amuck in their house. Reid and 10 year old Sue Storm also have sexual tension, though it’s mostly on her side. Something goes wrong with the laser project and Victor is killed. Or so they think. 10 years later, the Storm siblings grow up and became a spazzy Jay Underwood and a karaoke video hottie with the intelligence of a stick of butter. Reid (who has developed his trademark gray stripes) and Ben (who spends his days knocking over hot blind ladies) are now working on some kind of a space project and needed to go into space in a rocket ship in order to conduct their experiment. They also need to take the Storm children with them, despite their lack of astronaut training or pubic hair. However, while they are picking up the Storms, The Leprechaun, at the behest of Dr. Doom, switches out some crystal brain that’s integral to their experiment. This is designed to kill them when they’re in space. But wouldn’t you know it, instead it gives them super powers which are linked to their greatest weaknesses. Reid can stretch his arms because he was always trying to stretch himself in life, Sue Storm turns invisible because she was shy, Johnny Storm can create fire because of his fiery temper (not seen in the film) and Ben turns into The Thing because he used his muscle and not his brain. While they are figuring this shit out, the blind hottie that Ben knocked over is kidnapped by Dr. Doom’s henchmen and made The Queen of Little Latveria. The Fantastic Four are kidnapped also, and Dr. Doom reveals himself as the very bitter and not so pretty anymore Victor. The F.F. escape. Then Sue makes them uniforms but no one will wear them apart from her. Then they go to rescue the blind hottie. She tells Ben she loves him. This makes him turn human again just when he is being attacked. He runs outside and turns back into The Thing. Finally, everyone puts on their uniforms and fucks shit up, accept for Sue who is utterly useless. Mr. Fantastic lets Dr. Doom fall to his death but his hand, which comes off in the fall, is still moving. This means that hopefully someone will make a sequel, this time including all the musical numbers that they hinted at so often in the original. The end.
After the movie, we kept up the tradition of terrible cinema by watching a little “Matrix Re-Loaded” on TV and then we went to bed because we had an early call time.
SATURDAY
Woke up early to shoot a movie for as Atom Films competition. The only criteria is that we had to incorporate a magic wand into it somehow. I won’t go into too much detail about the plot we devised because it’s better if you just watch it. Hopefully it will be edited in the next two weeks and posted on Storypipe. The shooting went well. We were ably directed by Meep and we all had a GREAT time shooting. What a fun group of people. I love our little film collective! We finished shooting around 6, in time for dinner. Meep, Dom, Dusty, Elyse, Borg, Gene and I went for Mexican at Torrero’s. After that Dom and Meep were tired and wanted to go home. Gene wanted to go sit at someone’s house and drink beer, so he went with Dom. The rest of us met up with Brugos and his roommate to find some adventure. We started at Jai Thai looking for karaoke but it didn’t appear to be happening, so we went up the road to the Jade Pagoda. We had a couple of drinks there and then, still looking for karaoke, headed to the Crescent. I haven’t been to the Crescent in 3 years. The last time I was there, it was completely dead, with only a few grizzled old gay men sitting at the bar. We pretty much had the run of the place for singing. Not so anymore. It’s now hot and happening, filled with plenty of young people. It was loud and there was nowhere to sit. It had a nice, happy vibe, but we were all feelin’ it, so we decided to find an elsewhere. We ended up at Bill’s but, by then, we were all starting to get kind of tired, so we didn’t stay long. Gene met Elyse and we parted ways. Despite a lack of karaoke, I had a great time and good conversation and didn’t get home till 1:30.
SUNDAY
I did nothing apart from a few chores and finishing Queer as Folk season one. It left me in tears and I am very glad no one else was there to see me sobbing like a baby.
Next weekend: Kayobi’s birthday and Bellingham!
are here. These from Gevin's party on Saturday. I'm sad we don't have any pictures of the Expat party. Ahe, do you have any photos from that?
Effed by the Wind 
