Whitmarsh Island Gazette – note about Immortality



Borgia was kind enough to make a big Italian dinner at the Zookster house in honor of Gene’s birthday (a week late). He made antipasti, salad, manicotti with meatballs (and veggie balls) and tiramisu. The whole spread was delectable. First, we annoyed the neighbors with a Journey sing-along. Then we put on the movie that Gene brought the film Disco Godfather. It was basically the Reefer Madness of crack starring Dolemite. And, of course, it was awesome.

After the movie, Dom put in Clash of the Titans (one of the greatest movies…ever), and several people who would have otherwise left, were sucked in. We were all falling asleep near the end, but we couldn’t stop it before the Kraken was defeated!

Once the constellations were named, everyone sleepily filed out and we went to bed.


Dom and I decided to go to Crossroads to sell some clothes. We brought one trash bag full each. As we waited for them to pick through our goods, we looked for warm clothes to bring to Park City. They called us each up and informed us that our crap wasn’t good enough for them. It’s odd, because in my perusal, I saw several items that looked like what I was selling. I’m sure it’s just that the selling “guidelines” are at the whim of whoever is rifling through your goods. In this case, they weren’t impressed with Dom’s Ralph Loren shirts or my Old Navy or Bon stuff. Of course we each bough something so they made money off rejecting us. Then we brought our bags to Value Village. We paid to trade two large bags of clothes for two small bags of clothes. What a deal!

Next, we needed snacks and I needed caffeine. We brought our goodies back to the apartment and watched Predator 2 on TV until it was time to meet Faye.

Faye, Dom and I met Ben and his girlfriend at the Dragonfish for happy hour and Harry Potter pre-funk. The waitress was nice enough, but our server, who looked like Fiona Apple, had a little bug up her butt. She yelled at me for lighting up a clove, which I can understand because a lot of places allow cigarettes but no cloves, but it was the WAY in which she yelled, which was startling, embarrassing and angering all at once. Faye said I sound like that sometimes when I’m stressed so that will keep me thinking about my tone of voice from now on. (By the way, smoking ban aside, why IS it that cloves aren’t allowed a lot of places that cigarettes are? They smell so lovely! I think most people would agree they are more pleasant that Marlboros. None of that will matter soon anyway, but it’s something that’s always bugged me). While we gorged ourselves on deliciousness, we played a few old drinking games (the actor-movie-actor game and the word association game) and two new games I made up: The McG game and the Poor Man’s Actor game. The McG game can be played two ways. You either name a song and pick which movie or TV show McG would most likely use it for were he the executive producer, or else, you pick a movie and TV show and try and pick the most likely song. For those of you not aware, McG is the new Jerry Bruckheimer. He produces TV shows like The O.C. and movies like Charlie’s Angels, and he picks the music. In every case, he picks a song that is the most LITERAL translation of the plot. For example, the theme to the O.C., set in California is “California” by Phantom Planet. If he had been the executive producer of, say, Kung Fu starring David Carradine, the theme song would have been “Kung Fu Fighting”.

The Poor Man’s Actor is simple. You name an A or B-list actor and try and think of who the B or C list actor who is on a similar career path. For example, Monica Potter is the poor man’s Julia Roberts (or at least, old, Romantic Comedy Julia Roberts). It is also expectable to make joke comparisons, provided they are like the following one that Dom came up with: Joaquin Phoenix is the poor man’s River Phoenix.

When happy hour ended, we headed over to Pacific Place to get in line for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. There was already a line, but it wasn’t so bad that we wouldn’t get a decent seat all together. Unfortunately, the place was CRAWLING with 12-year old girls, several of whom sat directly behind us and were shocked by EVERYTHING. Despite that annoyance, the film was extremely enjoyable. It seems like every male extra was plucked fresh from the Hottie tree. And of course, David Tennant, the new Dr. Who, is also easy on the eyes. The Hogwarts lads are all growing up quite nicely. Even Ron’s older twin brothers aren’t looking too shabby, despite the fact that twins make me extremely uncomfortable. Perhaps the best surprise was that the Hogwarts prom band was fronted by the god of sex himself, Jarvis Cocker. I am desperate to get my hands on a copy of the song they sang in which they rhymed “dawn” with “unicorn”. It is regrettably lacking from the soundtrack.

Eye candy aside, the film was great too. The ending confrontation was really quite intense and since I haven’t read the books, I didn’t know what was going to happen. The kids are turning into fine actors (though Emma Watson is treading on melodramatic ice).

After the movie, Ben and his g/f took their leave, and the Troika contemplated our options. We had two separate invitations to karaoke, but no one was feeling it so we ended up in bed fairly early.


And thus begins my most productive Sunday in ages. The Troika met out-of-town friends David, Sarah, and their baby Mirabelle along with Erin and Rene at Charlie’s for brunch. Erin told us all about her and Rene’s upcoming wedding and Sarah and David passed around their unconscious baby. Man, I wish I could sleep as hard as that kid can. Sarah and David are cool parents with a good sense of humor. Mirabelle is lucky. Especially since Sarah seems to have pretty good baby-fashion sense. There won’t be many outfits that Mirabelle will grow up to be embarrassed of.

The Troika walked Sarah, David and the kid back to their car, at which point, Mirabelle saw the swings in the refurbished hobo park. Apparently, she jonses for swings and will not let us until she gets her fix. We left them to it.

Next, Dom took me and Faye with him to the Gadzook office so we could sneak in some time in the gym. The office is in the first floor of a condo complex. Faye and I abused ourselves for a little over an hour and then we got out of there.

We went home, showered, and then rendezvoused with Sherrard at Than Brothers for some steamy and delicious Pho. Sherrard then left us to go to HIS gym, and we stopped at the grocery store before ending up at the Zookster pad.

Sherrard and Borgia later joined us to finally watch my VHS copy of Star Crash, which is a Star Wars rip off from 1979, starring some dudes you’ve never heard of, David Hasslehoff and Christopher Plummer. It is just as scattered, campy and hilarious as you would imagine. It was love at first sight for Sherrard. I’m gonna have to transfer this puppy onto DVD because the VHS isn’t looking so hot.

It was nice to not be a pajama hermit for once on a Sunday.