NFT Radar: Maximillien in the Market

X-Posted from Not For Tourists.

I’m not an expert on what it means to be French, but I imagine it’s a little bit like Maximilien in the Market. Tucked away down a neon-lit hallway past the famous fish stand, it boasts “All the old world charm of any hide-away in Paris.” Indeed, the low-lighting and white tablecloths feel very French, but the most French thing about it is the wait staff–inattentive, patronizing and uncooperative. Ask a simple question about a menu item, and you get a simple, vague, derisive answer. Still, the breathtaking panoramic view of the Sound and the large outdoor patio make it easy to relax and take the poor service in stride. The food, when it arrives, isn’t half bad either. The French know their cheese and it is incorporated into many of their dishes. But I’d stick with traditional French menu items. If you’re wondering about the “dipping sauces” for the Belgian fries, I’m sorry to inform you that it’s just mayo.

81 Pike St 98101


Short Movie Reviews of Late

The Darjeeling Limited:
While I agree that it could have been cut down a wee bit, and was still Wes Anderson Mad Libs, I was moved by the story of 3 brothers trying to reconnect on a train trip across India. The movie was colorful and it made me really want to visit the country. Adrien Brody's nose is bewitching and he also delivered the line that made me choke back tears: “I couldn't save mine.”

No Country For Old Men:
This is a perfect film. Perfectly cast, perfectly acted, perfectly paced, and ended exactly how and when it should. Javier Bardem is a badass. Perhaps moreso with the David Cassidy hair.

Southland Tales:
Richard Kelly's long-anticipated second film feels like a cross between a pretentious student film with Hollywood actors and a movie made by an alien who has never actually seen a movie.

If this were a drinking game, the only rule you would need is to drink every time someone says “Beowulf”. It might be a neat trick to draw CG over real actors, but I still don't see the point. I'm so tired of hearing about how “hot” Angelina Jolie is in the movie when it's actually just a cartoon VERSION of Angelina Jolie. Just like Ray Winstone is actually a fat old British man. For the most part, it felt like watching the story parts of a video game, but with a moral about how history is written by liars. I'm in favor of that last bit.

He is Beowulf.

28 Weeks Later:
I know this isn't exactly topical, but I watched it last night and it really blew me away. 28 weeks after the outbreak from the first film is “contained”, the mighty U.S. military swoops in to help Britain pick up the pieces. The performances are very realistic and aided in their believability by hand-held cameras and lack of music. My one complaint would be that when there IS music, it's terrible and made-for-TV-esque. Executive producer Danny Boyle sure loves his realistic apocalypse films. There are no heroes or villains. Just people reacting to a horrible situation. In many ways, it is a superior film to the original. Though I did really miss Cillian Murphy.

I Has a Question

Re: the production stills from Indiana Jones and the Pirate's Curse of the Magical Castle or what have you, how did you make 80-year-old Harrison Ford, who normally looks like an ad for erectile dysfunction:

resemble the sexy history teacher/explorer we knew and loved like so:

Maybe this movie won't be so bad after all. Maybe…

PS: Those pants really need tailoring.

It's the right thing to do and the right way to do it.

I just got a fucking jaywalking ticket! At 6th and Lenora! Where there was no traffic or people! By an old Wilford-Brimley-looking fuck on a motorcycle who clearly thought he was teaching a young girl a lesson about not jaywalking when there are NO FUCKING PEOPLE OR CARS ANYWHERE IN SIGHT. When someone did finally walk by, they were nice enough to make a snide comment about the cop keeping us all safe. That was the only thing that made me smile while the fucker was writing me a $56 ticket and not saying a word to me. Oh, I had things I wanted to say. Like where were you when I got punched by that crazy lady on this same block a couple of months ago? And why the FUCK is jaywalking any sort of priority in Seattle, a pedestrian city? But I just kept my mouth shut, took the ticket from him, and crumbled it up into a tiny ball before putting it in my pocket. I'm considering wiping my ass with it too before I mail it in with my check for FIFTY SIX FUCKING DOLLARS for doing something that has no point being illegal.

Jesus fucking christ. I remember when Elyse got a jaywalking ticket, but that was closer to Westlake where there ARE people and TRAFFIC. Belltown at 8:30am is a ghost town. Apart from old cops who should be retired but instead are hassling the kids. Go home and eat your oatmeal, Brimley.

Fun Has an Expiration Date

This just in: The Seattle Fun Forest is no longer fun.

Actually, everyone who lives here already knew that, but it seemed like (much like the monorail) it would remain a neglected, sorry part of Seattle forever. However, it would appear that on Labor Day 2009, the haunted amusement park in Seattle Center is being dismantled. You have a little less than two years to needlessly risk your personal safety on the rickety roller coaster or place your life into the hands of apathetic teenagers on the log ride.

I want dibs on their mini golf course. That colorful burro would look fantastic in our back yard.

Friday Fun Time

MySpace Meme that's almost as interesting as a Mark-scribed one.

*I give you money and send you into the grocery store to pick up 5 items. You can only pick one thing from the following departments. What do you pick?
1. Produce—> Fuji apples
2. Bakery —> Crusty whole grain bread
3. Meat —> Facon or eggs
4. Frozen —> Dijourno Pizza
5. Dry goods —> Grits

*Let's say we're heading out for a weekend getaway. You're only allowed to bring 3 articles of clothing with you. So, what's in your bag?
Assuming I'm allowed to wear a bra, underwear and shoes…
1. Black flowy skirt
2. Black cami
3. Thick hoodie

*If I were to listen in on one of your conversations throughout the workday, what 5 phrases or words would I be most likely to hear?
1. That's bullshit.
2. What the fuck?
3. Unbelievable!
4. He/she said what?!
5. He/she did what?!

*So, what 3 things do you find yourself doing every single day, and if you didn't get to do, you'd probably be in a pretty irritable/bad mood?
1. Some sort of exercise.
2. Caffeine.
3. Shower.

*What are 3 things do you have in your room/house that have been with you for the longest amount of time?
1. Fred, the teddy bear who belonged to my father.
2. My Winnie the Pooh baby blanket.
3. My Catwoman action figure.

*If you were only allowed to listen to 5 albums for the rest of your life, never adding anything else, which 5 could you listen to & be content with?
That would be a nightmare, but for the sake of argument:
1. The Clash – S/T
2. Elliot Smith – XO
3. The Dandy Warhols – Welcome to the Monkey House
4. Built to Spill – There's Nothing Wrong With Love
5. Weezer – Pinkerton

*You're driving down the road, and suddenly you're hit with this sense of road rage. What 3 factors probably contributed to it?
1. Hummer Limo
2. Small woman in an S.U.V.
3. Ignorant Republican bumper sticker

*Sweet, you just scored a whole afternoon to yourself. We're talking a 3 hour block with nobody around. What 5 activities might we find you doing?
1. Smoke/watch terrible movie/TV show
2. Clothing shopping (I hate shopping with other people)
3. Photoshop project
4. DDR marathon
5. Me time

*We're going to the zoo. But, it looks like it could start storming, so it'll have to be a quick visit. What 3 exhibits do we have to get to?
1. Monkeys
2. Elephants
3. Water mammals

*You just scored tickets to the taping of any show of your choice. You can pick between 5, so what are you deciding between?

I'm altering this question to say that the time continuum is at your disposal.
1. Colbert Report
2. The Price is Right with Bob Barker
3. Late World With Zack
4. The Gong Show
5. Conan

*You're hungry for ice cream. I'll give you a triple dipper ice cream cone. What 3 flavors can I pile on for ya?
I don't like mixing ice cream, but for the sake of argument:
1. Green Tea
2. Coconut
3. Vanilla

*Somebody stole your wallet. In order to get it back, you have to name 5 things you know are inside to claim it. So, what's in there?
1. Driver's License
2. Credit Cards
3. Belle and Sebastian Tip Chart (I would want that returned more so than the credit cards)
4. Completed punch card from Beba's Deli all ready to reward me with a free sandwich
5. Receipt from Fat Burger which says the order is for someone named Christ (a perplexingly awesome misspelling of “Chris”)

*You are at a job fair, and asked about what areas in which you are interested in pursuing a career. Let's pretend you have every talent and ability to be whatever you wanted. What 4 careers would be fun for you?
1. Restaurateur
2. Comic Book Artist
3. Band Frontwoman
4. Publisher

*If you could go back and talk to the old you when you were in high school and give yourself advice on 5 things that were going to happen, what would it be?
1. Stay away from suspiciously charming men in college. Especially if they consider themselves “Artists”.
2. Learn to eat normally now. You're not fat and what you're doing to yourself will make it harder to maintain a normal weight later.
3. Start freelance writing on spec ASAP. And schmooze your ass off. Maybe then your writing career will take off before you’re 30. I know you want to make films, and you can do that, but trust me, you won't be able to turn it into a career.
4. Don't go to the Art Institute. You can learn everything they will teach you from a handful of books you can buy on Amazon.
5. Speaking of Amazon, I know you're going to London in a couple of months, but you really should go to that interview and see where it goes, because later on, it will be really REALLY hard to get one.

Best City Market Sign Evar?

From the City Market Sign Blog.

The Greatest Pumpkin

Drip coffee with a vegan pumpkin donut from Mighty O is a fucking miracle.

Hail the King of Memes

MarkTapioKines made another thought-provoking meme.

1. When was the last time you bowed your head in prayer (even if you didn't pray)?
In August when we were visiting Brugos' family. His aunt requested grace before eating. I did not pray, but I did mumble a polite “Amen”.

2. Name a band or performer whose final studio album was on par with their earlier releases (meaning good, not bad!).
1965 by the Afghan Whigs.

3. In what ways do you consider yourself “punk rock”?
Like Mark, I am openly atheist. I like the idea of socialism. I have 3 tattoos. I attempt to do unusual things with my hair. My favorite band of all time is The Clash. I'm listening to the Buzzcocks as I type. I'm veg. for political reasons. I ride the bus. My friend Nicole noted on Friday that Brugos and I have a lot of subversive skull imagery in our house. That last one might just make us morbid.

4. In what ways do you consider yourself a yuppie?
I own a lot of stuff. I have an increasing enjoyment for good wine and food made by trained chefs.

5. Name a food you loved as a kid that you wouldn't eat now:
Pepperoni. Soda.

6. Name a food you love now that you wouldn't eat as a kid:
Yogurt. Asparagus.

7. What is/are the best thing(s) you're doing for the environment?
Riding the bus. Being veg. Buying organic vegetables. Recycling everything I possibly can.

8. What is/are the worst thing(s) you're doing to the environment?
Not buying and using more cloth bags for groceries. (I only have one that I bring with me to buy lunch and office snacks at Whole Foods). And I'm kind of wasteful of water. I'm sure there are loads of things, that I don't even thing about right now. Halp!

9. What charities do you routinely give to?
Human Rights Campaign. Amnesty International. I don't have a regular animal charity I give to, but I usually send a couple bucks to each one that pops up in my mailbox. Any suggestions?

10. What other non-profits (art museums, public radio stations, political organizations like the ACLU) do you financially support?
KEXP Public Radio. Northwest Film Forum.

11. What do you consider to be your biggest luxuries, i.e. something a little costly that you could technically do without, but don't want to?
Soon to be my mom's hand-me-down car (the car will be cheap, but the insurance won't be). My billions of DVDs.

12. If one of your best friends decides to get married, would you rather be a member of the wedding party or just a guest?
Just a guest is fine. Being a bridesmaid is stressful.

13. Would you rather rob a bank and go to jail for 5 years (and not keep any of the money), or murder somebody and never get caught?
I'm with Mark. I pick murder as long as it's someone who deserves it.

14. Post a link to, or embed, a video on YouTube that you found very funny.

15. Where will you be this Thanksgiving?
In the Old Dominion for the first time in 5 years with my dad and step family. Brugos will get to see where I grew up and we will get to see the sun. I love friend Thanksgivings but I think this will be pretty fun.

16. What is your excitement level over next year's new Indiana Jones movie?
I think it's going to be awful (the title alone!) and so does my subconscious. In part of one of my dreams, I was in an arcade and there were all these men in Papier-mâché mouse masks holding axes. I was told they were a promotion for the upcomning Indiana Jones movie. On second thought, if those guys were in it, maybe it wouldn't be so bad…

17. What's your favorite non-English language movie?
Story of Riki.

18. In all your life, what's the longest period of time you've lived at one address? How about the longest after college?
11 years on Rockport Landing Place in RVA. In Washington, I haven't lived at at any one address for longer than two years. Although Brugos and I have no plans for leaving the Bettie Page House.

19. Other than a car, any life forms, or the home itself, what's the single most valuable item in your home?
Besides my engagement ring which would come with me if fleeing from a fire or other disasters, nothing is really monetarily valuable but there are plenty of things with sentimental value. I'd probably grab my signed copies of “Life Without God” and “Perv: A Love Story” and my painting of Crispin Glover juggling a cat and a bowl of jello (the only piece of art I've ever bought).

20. Whose life would you rather live – Bruce Springsteen's or Sting's?
Springsteen. I agree with Mark, Sting is a cunt.

My "Blog" "Contribution"

One of the blogs I frequent is the “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks. If you have any sort of punctuation schooling, the premise should be self-explanatory. I finally found the perfect submission in the bathroom at a cemetery in Hollywood. It was published today.