It's the right thing to do and the right way to do it.

I just got a fucking jaywalking ticket! At 6th and Lenora! Where there was no traffic or people! By an old Wilford-Brimley-looking fuck on a motorcycle who clearly thought he was teaching a young girl a lesson about not jaywalking when there are NO FUCKING PEOPLE OR CARS ANYWHERE IN SIGHT. When someone did finally walk by, they were nice enough to make a snide comment about the cop keeping us all safe. That was the only thing that made me smile while the fucker was writing me a $56 ticket and not saying a word to me. Oh, I had things I wanted to say. Like where were you when I got punched by that crazy lady on this same block a couple of months ago? And why the FUCK is jaywalking any sort of priority in Seattle, a pedestrian city? But I just kept my mouth shut, took the ticket from him, and crumbled it up into a tiny ball before putting it in my pocket. I'm considering wiping my ass with it too before I mail it in with my check for FIFTY SIX FUCKING DOLLARS for doing something that has no point being illegal.

Jesus fucking christ. I remember when Elyse got a jaywalking ticket, but that was closer to Westlake where there ARE people and TRAFFIC. Belltown at 8:30am is a ghost town. Apart from old cops who should be retired but instead are hassling the kids. Go home and eat your oatmeal, Brimley.

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