It is known, that dogs eat horses!

This weekend wasn't nearly as hectic as last weekend. Yet somehow, I am exhausted. Probably something to do with the tremendous bruise my spirit took on Friday afternoon. We were having a lovely little meeting when, out of nowhere, Boss Man suggested that we pick an hour a week OUTSIDE of office hours to meet and discuss business strategy. I won't go into too much detail. Just to say that I suggested about a hundred different things to try and get him to reconsider. I mean, what's so difficult about picking an hour DURING THE DAY and sticking to it? Why do I have to give up an extra hour of my free time (UNPAID mind you) to discuss something that, ultimately, I will be the LAST PERSON to benefit from?! It really upset me. Especially since I seemed to be the only person who was opposed to the idea. My free time is precious to me because it embodies the phrase “free time”. I feel like I'm in prison when I'm here and when it's 5:00, I get to be on parole for a while. What was decided was that we would pick a day and come in at 7am to meet before work. Granted, I would only have been sleeping that extra hour. But on the other hand, I WOULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING THAT EXTRA HOUR! Sleep is important to me too. Any why was Lil' D. so keen on this idea? Jesus Christ.
Anyway, I spent much of Friday evening harping on this so I won't go into it too much now. I'll just say this. Even though it's not a HUGE deal, something happened to me in that meeting. Something was irreparably crushed. I haven't worked out the full implications of it yet. I just know that it is now even more important that we make Snow Day and then Plight. It is vital to my existence that I don't have a life of 7am unpaid meetings to look forward to.

That aside, the rest of the weekend:
Friday night we had our budgeting meeting for Snow Day, and we realised that it's a damned good thing we're still willing to make movies for no money. Because if we were to do this the proper way, we would need to start robbing banks.

Saturday, we went to an interview, hosted by Women In Film Seattle with Lauren Schuler-Donner who has produced bazillions of successful films including Ladyhawk, Pretty In Pink, and X-men 1 and 2. (And 3!). The lecture was pretty informative and cool, but the highlight was when she mentioned her husband, Dick, was sitting in the audience. Dick…Dick Schuler? No. Dick Donner? Who's that? Well, it's none other than RICHARD DONNER, the director of such films as Ladyhawk, Goonnies, Superman, Scrooged, The Lethal Weapon movies, and most importantly, Michael Crichton's Timeline. Needless to say, we were a little starstruck after that. So was this woman (who was inexplicably dressed as Carmen Sandiego) who's “question” after the lecture was whether or not Lauren and “Dick” would sign her Ladyhawk DVD. The Q & A was pretty annoying, as many of the questions went like this:
“Um…My question is, I'm a writer/director/producer and I'm working on my first feature. I've been trying to get financing and blah blah blah blah blah. Me me me. What would you suggest I do?” (Read: Will you please finance my film?).
She handled these questions with grace as did she the honest-to-god Inside The Actor's Studio ending to the interview. (Which we had joked about earlier).
After that, we went to the Metro to see Sky Captain and The World of Tomorrow which was, as I expected, dumb but pretty. I also got to see my nemesis, Fan Boy, dressed in a stupid Landmark Theatres poncho, trying to chat up one of his female co-workers. The fun part was where we filled in the dialog.
FANBOY: “Hey, my mom goes to bed at 9:00 on Saturdays. Do you want to come over to my basement apartment tonight to watch Blade II?”
GIRL: “Um…is that a flashlight in your pocket?”
Later, we made dinner and watched Firefly. I heart Firefly.
Sunday we cleaned house and then went to yoga which kicked my ass.
And now I'm here. Joy of joys. Lil' D has already tried to get to me do another one of her jobs. Luckily, boss man called her on it and she is in her office pouting.
My saving grace today will (hopefully) be reading Elyse's blog about her weekend and having lunch with Dom.

September 20, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary, I'm Working . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

U R Stupid Dumbass If U Pay Retail Pri-cee For Softwares understand miserable goodbye

A word of warning. I'm going to geek out here today.

A while ago, I caught wind that they were making a Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy movie. This prompted me to re-read the books so that I could enjoy the story once more before it was visually tainted by Hollywood. However, the more I read about this production, the more I think it might actually be pretty good! I've seen small bits of the set and it looks pretty cool. Then there's the issue of casting. All the characters are so great that one bad casting decision could ruin the whole thing. So far, I'm pretty happy with who they've chosen. Especially the choice of Martin Freeman (Tim from The Office) as Arthur Dent. He already displayed his “everyman” qualities in The Office and did so very well. Put him in a bathrobe and he already IS Arthur Dent. I'm also very excited about Sam Rockwell as Zaphod. I was extremely impressed at his charisma in Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (and Stella! :P) and I think he could pull off Zaphod pretty well. Of course, there is the question of how they are going to give him 2 heads without it looking ridiculous. Well, as horrid as Men In Black 2 was, I remember being fairly impressed with the realism of Johnny Knoxville's second head. So it might work out just fine. Then there's the question of Mos Def as Ford Prefect. I don't doubt Mos Def's acting ability. My only concern with this decision is that it is unclear whether or not they are going to make him do an English accent. If they don't, the whole joke about Ford pretending to be from Guilford will be lost. If they DO and it's terrible, the whole character will be lost. I have yet to hear a decision on the accent.

The script doesn't worry me either as MOST of it is actually from Douglas Adam's original adaptation. (Well, it doesn't worry me unless I think about Nick Hornby's original screenplay for Fever Pitch. But let's not revisit that one…ever.)

One thing that DOES annoy me already (just in the sense that it's a rude thing to do) is their decision to use Warwick Davis as the BODY for Marvin, the Paranoid Android, but not the voice. What the shit is that? You hire a professional and well known actor to, essentially, act as a double? Why not just save money and hire Mr. Cheapo Small Person to do the body? What's wrong with Warwick Davis's voice? If he can be a scary Leprechaun, he can bloody well play a manic depressive robot.

I began watching the BBC series of the books last night. It was made in 1981 and it is pretty dated. I don't know whether or not I want to keep watching because it's pretty embarrassing at times. Especially the part where Zaphod has a mullet and Trillian, who's supposed to be brilliant, talks like Chrissy Snow from Three's Company.

So that's what I have to say about the matter so far. I'm excited to see what's going to happen and I'm feeling fairly optimistic about it at this point. It helps assuage my fears (and horrors) about the film of Confederacy of Dunces that they're making. Thanks for bearing with me through my little Aint It Cool News moment.

September 17, 2004
Categories: Filmpinions . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

25432

I haven't done a meme in a while. I haven't found any good ones. So while I'm still looking, enjoy this hilarious archive of rediculous senior photos . This is in honor of my little “picture day revisited” moment yesterday. Can't wait to see how those turned out.

September 16, 2004
Categories: Uncategorized . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

gurgle

Yesterday sucked exactly as much as I imagined it would.
At 6:23am I caught the bus downtown. At EXACTLY 6:45, I arrived at the rendezvous point. It was windy and pretty cold. I hid behind a pillar as I waited for E. and Lil’ D. At 7:05, Lil’ D called and asked where I was. I said “I’m waiting where we said we’d meet”. She said “Ok, we’ll be there in 2 seconds”. It was then that I realised that SHE got picked up. Why didn’t anyone offer to pick me up? For fucks sake. Anyway, 10 minutes later (not 2 seconds), they pulled up, and I found out it was E’s fault for running late. However, I bet if Lil D had taken the bus we all would have arrived at the same time. We drove to West Seattle to pick up Boss Man and then switched cars (though I have no idea why. They were identical in size and comfort) and we were off, stopping quickly at Starbucks for, what I consider to be, the most rubbish drip coffee in all of Seattle. At 7:45 we were finally on I-5 south. Boss started off the music selection with Dr. Dre, which isn’t SO bad, but 7:45 am at full blast is neither the time nor the volume for it. After that, Boss asked ME what CD’s I brought. I couldn’t believe it!!! I listed off a few and they all liked Queen. So in MY Queen CD went. Things were looking up. However, Boss’s A.D.D. set in (he CANNOT listen to a whole song or album) and he began skipping tracks. I had to request to be allowed to listen to all of “Don’t Stop Me Now” and then he took the CD out. Lil D. said “My turn!!” and whipped out her Usher CD. Luckily, Boss had the same A.D.D. with Usher, but when he turned down one song to talk to E., Lil’ D said “I want to hear the whole song and it was interrupted. Play it again from the beginning!”. It was played 3 times in a row. (This was repeated on the way back with her Cranberries CD. Turns out, the Cranberries are a lot more annoying than I remember them to be). Long story long, eventually, Boss put in his mix CD on which were such favorites as Sarah McLachlan and that FUCKING TRAIN SONG where he rhymes “life” with “life” THREE TIMES IN A ROW.
We arrived a bit late for the meeting, but they were kind enough to wait for us so we wouldn’t miss a SINGLE MOMENT of the riveting speeches. I didn’t understand most of what was said, probably because I wasn’t paying attention. I spend some time trying to zone out and go into my Cave. When that didn’t work, I started doodling and writing down snippets of mis-heard phrases or things I thought were funny. Here are a few examples:
“Heroes or goats?”
“Evil Crest”
“So that’s in my pipeline”
“The Perfect Storm” (Which has become one of those wonderful little business meeting catch phrases, apparently)
“My shorts are gonna go WAY up”
The rest of it was absolutely meaningless to me. I feel bad for my Portland counterpart who was forced to take down the minutes. In fact, I feel bad for him in general, because while Lil D sucks a fat one, at least I have the two boys to make things marginally fun. The rest of the Portland lot seems utterly humorless.
At around 1:45, someone said that we were behind schedule so we would let the next guy speak until the photographer came at 2:30 and then we would RESUME THE MEETING AFTER!!! It was then that I realised we were NOT getting out of there at 3. We took our group picture and stupid little individual pictures (I hope my mom buys me package B so I can exchange wallet sized ones with my friends) and small talked until everyone was done. Then we resumed the fucking meeting which could have potentially gone on for several more hours has Boss not spoken up and said we had to leave. We got out of there around 4:20 (dude), and headed back up. More music debacles occurred wherein fucking bitch complained about my Radiohead CD because it “wasn’t the one with that creep song on it”. Happily, Boss discovered that Oasis is my very favorite band and he happened to have Morning Glory. He tried to skip “Hello” (one of my favs on that album) because he wanted to get right to the Wonderwall. Lil D said of “Hello”: “I don’t really like this song” so I said “Can I PLEASE hear all of it?”. And I was allowed to. Then he skipped to Wonderwall, Don’t Look Back In Anger, and Champagne Supernova. That’s very annoying for obvious reasons but beggars cant be choosers, now can they? It was no music for the rest of the trip (during which the three bitched about the way of things in Portland) which took forever because we had to stop at Burger King where I got the world’s worst Veggie Burger. Then we had to go back to Boss’s house to get E.’s car. E gave me a ride home, which was nice, but it was still after 8:00 when I got home. Longest fucking day ever. I never want to spend that much consecutive time in that small a space with my co-workers again. Which will make the drive for the X-mas party that much more exciting. Maybe I can score some Valium for that trip.
Sorry for the long, whingy rant. I just needed to get it out of my system. Thanks for bearing with me.
Oh, and one more thing: I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S ONLY FUCKING THURSDAY!

September 16, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary, I'm Working . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Re: the prisoner. 'YOU read

Last night Faye and I had Bad Movie Monday. We watched Westworld which was fantastically craperific. Very enjoyable. Faye should be putting up reviews of our BMM selections somewhere, so I won't go into too much detail. But I will say this: (1973) Yul Brenner plays a robot gunslinger in a futuristic “amusement” park wherein people get to live like cowboys in the old west (or Romans or Medieval folk if you chose one of those parks instead…why it's just called “Westworld” I don't know). Some guy with a mustache is our protagonist and he is accompanied by a very Christian Bale-like James Brolin (who I never found attractive before seeing this film…maybe it was all the gay undertones). Of COURSE the robots get out of control and fuck the place up. The film is written and directed by Michael Crichton. Yes, THAT Michael Crichton. Thank you Sherrard for the suggestion!
Tonight is a very special addition of Bad Movie Tuesday, wherein Faye and I are going to see a sneak preview of National Lampoons Gold Diggers which is listed as “Lady Killers” on IMDB. And yes, we realise how absolutely terrible it looks. But did we mention it's free through The Warren Report? (Without the wonderful service of The Warren Report, wherein you pay $15 a year and get to see sneak previews of films, we would not have gotten to meet Pegg and Wright. Nor would we have gotten to see Dodgeball or I Robot since we would not have paid for those films in a million years. So…everybody sign up!) Also, Will “Boy Meets World” Friedle is in it.
Tomorrow there will be no LJ (or email) for me, as I will be spending the entire day in/en route to and from Portland. We're leaving from the office at 7am (gasp!) Looks like we won't be getting back until 6:30 or 7 either because it's picture day and the photographer won't get there till 2:00. Yes, that's right. I said PICTURE DAY. I think I'll wear my hair in a side ponytail, in classic Middle School fashion.

September 14, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Hard to find R

So Saturday…
Woke up, watched “The Office” (I'm all caught up now. God bless the British for having the most comically depressing ending to a sitcom I've ever seen). Went shopping for a silly 50's style dress for Ryan's “Enchantment Under The Sea; Back to the Future” themed birthday party dance. I looked everywhere but couldn't find anything for well endowed, non size 3 women. So I ended up just wearing the dress I wore on Friday; my 50's style cherry dress. Turned out fine because only about half the people there were dressed up anyway. Watched Firefly and ate dinner with Jacob, Faye and Dom. Waited around till 8:30 or so. Went home to get dressed. Came back and met up with Simone who was wearing a hilarious peach dress with huge sleeves. Jacob was wearing a tux and looked like he was about to play in an orchestra concert. Faye was wearing the dress from the Terry video, and Dom was wearing his old suit from High School. We were quite a group. We arrived at the Catwalk to find an already very sauced birthday boy. He was also a little stressed because his brother had not yet arrived with the music. We took stupid “prom” pictures while we waited (which I will post eventually). It was then that we noticed the women in the corner. Two women in skin tight skimpy dresses and indie haircuts were sitting with one lanky indie boy. They seemed ok at first. Just two little call girls out to make an honest living, until they stood up and starting moving about the place. It was then that we realised that they were textbook cases of Succubi. The way they couldn't walk anywhere without shaking their asses, the way they leaned into every man when they talked to them, the way one of them was married and still cock-teasing my impressionable, 22-year old friend. It was enough to make me want to vomit. Or else for me and Faye to passive-aggressively make fun of them all night. A song would come on and they would dance with each other seductively on the dance floor, trying to get every man in the room to notice them. So Faye and I would dance with each other like retards and then pretend to dry hump. Or else they would sandwich the guy they were with, and he would think he was the luckiest guy in the room. Well, he probably won't feel that way later when he discovers it hurts to urinate.
ANYWHO, these girls were just annoying until the brunette wouldn't leave my friend alone, and was so obviously getting off on making him think she was available, and then making fun of him to someone else behind his back. After that, she was on my shit list, as was her little friend and I projected all the hate I could muster their way. There are some pretty funny pictures of me and Faye making asses of ourselves as we attempted to create a foil for the Succubi.
When we weren't being visually assaulted by Succubi, we were having a pretty good time dancing to Huey Lewis and Peter Cetera and drinking far too many shots of Washington Apples. (I'm still not sure what's in those things…but they are damned tasty). I also drank quite a few vanilla vodka, coke and sodas which is a new drink I came up with accidentally when they coke ran out of syrup. It tastes just like a vanilla italian soda. Silent but deadly, my friends.
When we got home, I was starving and somehow managed to cook a full pasta dinner with garlic bread (despite lack of motor skills) which was absolutely delicious at 2:00 in the morning.
So that was that. I don't know. Maybe Faye and I are actually the bitches and those girls are very nice people. Regardless, I never want to be in the same room with them again.
It's Monday Monday. So far everything's ok. My new intern is coming in pretty soon! She seems pretty good. Nothing like the last one who complained about everything I had her do and then quit on a moments notice. This girl is very sweet and actually excited about working here. (Even after I told her what she would be doing…:)
We shall see…but I'm feeling pretty optimistic about her so far.

September 13, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Crazy Shindig

Wow. Last night was insane. Thank you everyone who came out and funded not only getting me nice and comfortably drunk, but also donated to the Dom and Jessica Go To London Fund. It is much appreciated. I saw some people I haven't seen in ages like Erik, Ben & Jen, Erin, Katie and A.J. and it was great. Jacob also stumbled in (pretty late, I'm assuming. I lost track of time) despite the fact that mere hours earlier, his car was broken down on the side of the road in San Jose, CA. He proceeded to play catch up, and as a result, is now passed out on our couch.
My favorite waitress, Shawna, found out it was our birthdays and she gave us loads of things for free and came back often to make sure we were doing alright. She also recruited people from other parts of the bar to sing us Happy Birthday. When people paid her later, they neglected to give her a tip, and when Elyse found out, she got everyone to pull together a very generous one. Which is good because she is great. And I drunkenly told her so many times. :)
After we closed out the Canterbury, we stumbled back to mine and Dom's in the pouring rain and proceeded to break in the karaoke machine (quietly, as to not piss off our neighbors…I hope). Then it was 3 in the morning and everyone had to instantly be in bed.
The only sad thing is that I think nobody got any pictures last night. At least, I can't remember any being taken and Dom never asked for the camera out of my bag. That makes me sad indeed as these are the glory days and must be captured in digital images.
As soon as Jacob wakes up, I plan to watch a bit of the Definitely Maybe 10th Anniversary DVD (!!!!!!!) and have some tea and toast (and lots of water). And then I am going out with Faye to buy a silly prom dress for my friend Ryan's “Back to the Future; Enchantment of the Sea Dance” themed birthday. I am DEFINITELY getting pictures tonight.
All in all, I am not TERRIBLY hungover (even though I have NO IDEA how much Strongbow I drank, but it was at least 2 pitcher's worth). I am just a bit slow today and it's nothing a little caffeine and lots of water can't fix.
Thanks again, everyone for a great couple of birthday themed events! I love you guys! And this time, it's not the booze talking.

September 11, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Holy Weirdness!

I just checked the mail and got a birthday card (and $25 check) from my crazy aunt!!! Now, when I say crazy, I don't mean in a wacky, flower hat wearing way. I mean I haven't heard from her since she was commited when I was 11 after she physically attacked my grandmother, and stole her car. I noticed on the return address that she's still got her married name even though she divorced over 15 years ago. Also, she wished me a happy 25th birthday. I'm 26. She signed the card “love as always”. I really want to know who gave her my address because none of my family members admit to speaking to her
WEIRD.
Anyway, I'm gonna go watch “The Office” until it's party time.

September 11, 2004
Categories: Uncategorized . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

obnoxious ravish hitherto

Today is my unofficial birthday and I'm very excited about it! Even though Marilyn woke us up at 8:30 because she thought we were late for work. (Or that she shouldn't be the only one awake). I've had some caffeine! After I do my exercises, I will be ready to go on our little Seattle Mini-Birthday adventure which will include the Seattle Underground Tour, lunch at the Crocodile, and Mini Golf. And then, of course, tonight is the party at the Canterbury and I'm VERY excited for that. The whole gang will be there (including some people I haven't seen in a long time). I plan to drink as much Strongbow as I can fit into my stomach.

So last night the office went to Emerald Downs with the people we get referrals from for a little relationship strengthening activity. On the way there (and back) I got a little taste of what the car ride to Portland is going to be like next week. We didn't have any CD's so it was radio city. And as they scrolled through the channels, Boss heard a Matchbox 20 song he liked on Star 101.5. Lil D was pretty stoked about it too. And there we stayed listening to Avril Lavigne, Nickelback, No Doubt, and -gasp- Dave Mathews Band. The most painful part came when Lil D sang along LOUDLY to Avril. You can tell she's one of those people who thinks she has a good voice because she was doing those little “voice tricks” that female vocalists do to make the songs sound more complicated. It was pretty awful. So then I suggested that when we drive down to Portland, we each bring a CD and that way everyone's happy for a little while. Boss liked it, but I think Lil D wanted to make sure that she was happy the WHOLE TIME because she kept asking people if they liked things she liked. “Do you guys like Usher? Hip Hop? Creed?” Oh my god. I'm going to bring a blunt object to hit myself over the head with.

ANYWAY, when we got to the track, it was pretty boring at first because I derive no pleasure from losing money. But because Boss Man felt so bad about forgetting my birthday (my buddy in Portland slyly broke the news to him), he bought me a couple of races. Turns out I'm absolutely rubbish about picking horses so it's a damned good thing I didn't put any of my own money on the line.
We got back here about 10:00 and I slept like a baby. Until Marilyn…
Anywho, Dom and I have to get going now. See many of you tonight!

September 10, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Your penis on call instantly

I had a great time last night at mine and Dom's birthday dinner. Thank you all for your kind gifts and great company. The food was delicious too and my leftover daal beckons me from the office refrigerator. I can't wait till tomorrow! I get to take the day off and spend it wandering around Seattle with Dom. And then, of course, tomorrow night I will be tossing 'em back at the Canterbury! Wahoo!
But in the meantime I have to get through today which will be trying because I have a (possibly Indian wine induced) headache and I have a billion things to do BECAUSE I'm not going to be here tomorrow. Which is why I'm bloging now instead of working. Ha ha. After I do my billion things, I have to spend the evening with my co-workers doing one of our “Appreciation Events” with the people who send us our business. It would ordinarily be fine, but I'm sure the Lil'est Dictator will find some way to make things needlessly complicated. Although tonight will be nothing compared to having to spend SIX HOURS in a cramped car with her next week, when we drive down to Portland for our quarterly meeting. Maybe I'll keep a hip flask with me…
I am excited, though, because I finally have a friend at work! Of course, he is in the Portland office, but I feel I have an ally nonetheless and it's nice. (Hello P!:) I found out yesterday that he also has experienced the evilness (evilocity?) of the Lil'est Dictator and is not a fan. Hooray for solidarity! Also, hooray for knowing in advance that I will have someone to talk to at the Christmas Party (I didn't meet P last year because I skipped the X-mas party to see Return of the King on opening day with you lot).
Anywhosel, I should get to work now. Right after I raid the ibuprofen…

September 9, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary, I'm Working . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

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