I keep thinking about last night's episode of Nip/Tuck. The first season, I got totally sucked in. It was a great drama full of unique storylines and best of all, a graphic surgery montage in each episode. The characters were always surprising me. It was great. This season, it hasn't quite reached that bar. The storylines are more predictable and heavy-handed and much of it just seems like softcore porn (enough so that if you took a drink every time you saw Christian's ass, you would get drunk in a hurry). However, last night's episode was pretty engaging. A patient claimed to have the stigmata. And then she claimed she did it for attention. And then she claimed it was Jesus. And it went back and forth and I really didn't know what the outcome would be. Part of me was thinking “wow…has this show gone all religious on me?” and another part was thinking that, given past episodes that touched on religion, there was no way the writer would show Christianity in a positive light. This was all set to the tune of one of the main characters, Sean, learning that everything he knew about his family was a lie. His son wasn't his son, but actually his best friend/partner's son. His wife had been lying to him. He had been betrayed. He couldn't prove that the stigmata wasn't real. All these things were tearing him up, till he reached a breaking point, afterwhich he asked the stigmata lady if she was really touched by Jesus. He needed to know because he needed to believe in something. And even though her line was pretty lame (“Don't you kno, there isn't anything to believe in anymore”), I really felt Sean's pain when she said this. It was acted really well. So even though this episode was still not great, it was on par with last season. But no matter. Nip/Tuck is still better than most shows on TV right now. Even if next week is going to be TOTALLY heavy handed (The docs operate on siamese twins…but can the twins survive on their own? Oh my GOD! The doctors are TOOOOOTALLY like those siamese twins!!!! [poop]), where else can you see the bloody surgery of a baby getting it's vestigial tail removed?
Cos I'm Feelin' Uninspired
Right Now
wearing: Black skirt, black top, white stockings, mary janes. I don't think there's any real surprise here.
music: The sounds coming from the conference room.
thinking of: what I can do on my break
feeling: uninspired. covered this.
Last thing you…
bought: A diet coke for Fancy McClientpants
did: found this meme.
read: The Black Table
watched on tv: A little bit of “Rock Star” on VH1 last night. I think it's funny.
Either/Or
club or house party: House.
tea or coffee: Depends on what kind of boost I need. Coffee is for more dire situations.
high achiever or easy-going: How are these opposites? I'd like to think I'm fairly easy going without being TOTALLY unmotivated. But then again, who knows? I'm certainly not motivated in this office.
cats or dogs: I like both. I've always had cats so it's hard to say. I would like a dog at some point when I have a yard.
pen or pencil: pen
gloves or mittens: Gloves. I don't need anything hindering my dexterity. I'm lacking in that area enough as it is.
food or candy: This is stupid. No one eats candy INSTEAD of food. If they do, they probably won't live that long.
cassette or cd: I finally gave up on making people mix tapes. But there will always be a special place in my heart for cassettes. I still have two boxes of the things and they aren't going anywhere.
snuff or cigarettes: Eh?
coke or pepsi: coke
matches or a lighter: Lighter. I need to get one of these.
Sunset Beach or The Bold And The Beautiful: Um…I watched Days Of Our Lives for a bit in college. Every once in a while, I read the headlines on the covers of the magazines at grocery stores and it looks like the plot hasn't advanced at all.
Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey: How old is this thing? The Tony Danza Show.
Who Do You Want to…
kill: Whoever convinced Trey and Matt to re-make Cannibal: The Musical.
hear from: Pegg and Wright after this Thursday.
look like: A slightly smaller-boobed version of me.
be like: Lil Bow Wow.
LAST
last movie you saw: “Invincible” by Werner Hertzog. Meh.
last movie you saw on the big screen: Still Anchorman. But it looks like Faye and I may finally succumb to the Napoleon Dynamite craze.
last phone number you called: I tried to call home yesterday and misdialed my number. I got a very confused guy.
last thing you had to drink: Water, Helen. Water.
last thing you ate: My grandma's potato chowder.
last time you showered: This morning.
last time you cried: When the rats came home from summer camp and I thought they hated it at the new house.
last time you smiled: When I thought about Faye's suggestion of advertising Shakyface.com with stickers. A picture of Gene on there posted on every phone poll and bus stop in town is just the trick!
last time you laughed: When I saw the “sticker” Faye made for Shakyface.com
last thing you said: “Ken's in a meeting right now. Would you like his voicemail?” Ugh!
last person you talked to online: Jacob, ages ago. I don't chat on line very often.
last thing you smelled: Your mom.
Do you…
have a dream that keeps coming back: Not an exact dream but I have common anxiety dreams wherein things, people, aliens, ex-boyfriends and spider man are trying to kill me.
believe there is life on other planets: I believe it's possible . Don't tell Gene.
read the newspaper: Just on the internet. I suck.
have any gay or lesbian friends: Of course. What is this, this 50's? Everyone probably has at least one gay friend whether they know it or not. It's just statistics.
believe in miracles: Where you from, you sexy thing?
believe it's possible to remain faithful forever: Yes, but I'm sure it's not easy.
consider yourself tolerant of others: Define “tolerant”.
consider police a friend or foe: Mostly foe, although I wish it weren't so. I'm looking at you, Eastern Washington Cops.
like the taste of alcohol: All too well, my cruel mistress.
have a favorite Stooge: Not really.
believe in astrology: It's seems pretty odd that all virgos are anal like that, but my logic dictates that it shouldn't be so. I don't know, ok!
believe in magic: Only in a young girl's heart. I'll stop using song lyrics as answers now.
pray: Hell no. Hell being the operative word.
go to church: See above.
have a degree: Yes. But you wouldn't know it by my job.
talk to strangers who instant message you: No, because they will always end up asking me what I'm wearing and I just know they'd be so disappointed to find out that I'm over 18.
wear hats: Only if it's so cold that I have to. Because I have a small head and they make me look like a tool.
wish on stars: No. But I do wish on Link and 11:11.
like your handwriting: My chicken scratch is very endearing. Plus, I can pretend I'm a boy
believe in witches: I'd like to, but no.
believe in Satan: George W. seems like a likely candidate.
believe in ghosts: When Faye tells me her stories I do.
trust others easily: If I get a good vibe from them.
like sarcasm: If it's done correctly. (i.e. NOT Chandler on Friends)
take walks in the rain: I live in Seattle and don't have a car so the answer is yes.
kiss with your eyes closed: Yes.
sing in the shower: If the mood strikes me.
tigress sensuous woodard ada
So today I had to stop eating my lunch to go out and buy a big client a diet coke. I realise I need to be a team player and everything, but it still bugs me that it was automatically ME that had to do it.
Only two days until Faye and I make total asses of ourselves in front of two of our idols!
Arts and Farts and Crafts
I received an email from the girl who did the Crispin Glover paintings at the Globe. She was busy, as I had thought, pissed at me for trying to talk down her asking price. So when the show comes down at the Globe, I will be the proud owner of a piece of real live art! Hooray! I wish I had more money so I could buy the whole collection!
Lots of Fun With Picture Pages
1. Take your LJ username and replace each letter with the corresponding number (A=1, B=2, etc…).
the_baxter = 20 8 5 2 1 24 20 5 18
2.Add all of the numbers together to create a kind of super number.
103
3. Make a note of the first digit of this number, then add the digits of the number together.
First digit is 1.
1 + 0 + 3 = 4.
4. Find the post of this number in your LJ. If you don't have that many posts, add the digits together again. Keep doing so until the number is smaller than your number of posts.
My fourth post was entitled “Mutilated Muffins!”, posted on Tuesday July 6th, 2004.
5. Take the digit you noted in step 3, and count that many words into the post.
My word is Tired
6. Use the resulting word in a Google Image Search, and select a picture from the first page.
Post the results for us all to see.
"circumcision"
What a great weekend! Friday, Meep, Sherwood and I, and later the Brunswicks, Dom, Amy and Captain Danger all went to the Canterbury. We played 20 songs in a row on the juke box and drank beer till our wee bladders exploded. We bitched about work and talked about artists with unique social problems and I said something which will make Meep forever joke about me being a defender of pedophiles. But no matter. Fun was had by all.
Saturday was also a resounding success. Pictures can be seen at Dom's blog . We started out with BBQ and music and attempted to play a round of Encore (although that never seems to last very long. Elyse and I need to find some dedicated players). We ended up with Shaky Face(TM) and Porn. I think it was a pretty natural progression if you ask me.
Sunday I relaxed, finished putting the remastered version of “Terry” on the video (I'm entering it into a few festivals. I'll let you know if it will be showing anywhere!) and did my 3rd yoga class. It seems to get harder every time. But somehow I'm still really into it. That's so unlike me.
Three days till Meep and I horribly embarrass ourselves in front of two of our idols!
My English Degree Pays Off
Here is a list of classic literature. Bold the ones you have read. Next to the ones you read, write a one sentence review.
Beowulf (boringwulf)
Achebe, Chinua – Things Fall Apart 9 year-old Jessica learns Man is an asshole.
Agee, James – A Death in the Family
Austen, Jane – Pride and Prejudice The only Jane Austen novel that's not JUST about getting married.
Baldwin, James – Go Tell It on the Mountain
Beckett, Samuel – Waiting for Godot Pretentious, much?
Bellow, Saul – The Adventures of Augie March
Bronte, Charlotte – Jane Eyre
Bronte, Emily – Wuthering Heights
Camus, Albert – The Stranger (It's Satan!)
Cather, Willa – Death Comes for the Archbishop
Chaucer, Geoffrey – The Canterbury Tales Heath Ledger is AWESOME!
Chekhov, Anton – The Cherry Orchard Will you just SHUT UP about Moskow, already?
Chopin, Kate – The Awakening Feminist tribe that I bought every minute of when I was 12.
Conrad, Joseph – Heart of Darkness War is hell.
Cooper, James Fenimore – The Last of the Mohicans Daniel Day Lewis is AWESOME!
Crane, Stephen – The Red Badge of Courage You're Newbury Award won't save you now.
Dante – Inferno Hell is hell.
Cervantes, Miguel – Don Quixote
Defoe, Daniel – Robinson Crusoe
Dickens, Charles – A Tale of Two Cities
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor – Crime and Punishment I am DYING to see the movie version of this wherein Crispin Glover plays Raskolnikov.
Douglass, Frederick – Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass
Dreiser, Theodore – An American Tragedy
Dumas, Alexandre – The Three Musketeers
Eliot, George – The Mill on the Floss
Ellison, Ralph – Invisible Man
Emerson, Ralph Waldo – Selected Essays
Faulkner, William – As I Lay Dying
Faulkner, William – The Sound and the Fury
Fielding, Henry – Tom Jones
Fitzgerald, F. Scott – The Great Gatsby Spoiled rich people are boring.
Flaubert, Gustave – Madame Bovary
Ford, Ford Madox – The Good Soldier
Goethe, Johann Wolfgang – Faust That sly little devil!
Golding, William – Lord of the Flies Boys are scary when they're unsupervised.
Hardy, Thomas – Tess of the d'Urbervilles
Hawthorne, Nathaniel – The Scarlet Letter Don't be a slut.
Heller, Joseph – Catch 22 War is still hell.
Hemingway, Ernest – A Farewell to Arms Meh.
Homer – The Iliad Cool.
Homer – The Odyssey I like the Simpson's version better.
Hugo, Victor – The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Hurston, Zora Neale – Their Eyes Were Watching God
Huxley, Aldous – Brave New World Scary.
Ibsen, Henrik – A Doll's House
James, Henry – The Portrait of a Lady
James, Henry – The Turn of the Screw
Joyce, James – A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man The most accessible Joyce out there. So I like it.
Kafka, Franz – The Metamorphosis “This isn't what I wished for at all”.
Kingston, Maxine Hong – The Woman Warrior
Lee, Harper – To Kill a Mockingbird One of the few great books that also made a great movie.
Lewis, Sinclair – Babbitt
London, Jack – The Call of the Wild
Mann, Thomas – The Magic Mountain
Marquez, Gabriel Garcia – One Hundred Years of Solitude Depressing as hell.
Melville, Herman – Bartleby the Scrivener Working is hell. Also made a kick ass movie starring Crispin Glover. (Ok, so that was 2 sentences).
Melville, Herman – Moby Dick Whaling is hell. I'm going to stop that now.
Miller, Arthur – The Crucible Girls are mean.
Morrison, Toni – Beloved
O'Connor, Flannery – A Good Man is Hard to Find
O'Neill, Eugene – Long Day's Journey into Night
Orwell, George – Animal Farm Animals are as corrupt as people!
Pasternak, Boris – Doctor Zhivago
Plath, Sylvia – The Bell Jar
Poe, Edgar Allan – Selected Tales
Proust, Marcel – Swann's Way
Pynchon, Thomas – The Crying of Lot 49
Remarque, Erich Maria – All Quiet on the Western Front
Rostand, Edmond – Cyrano de Bergerac
Roth, Henry – Call It Sleep
Salinger, J.D. – The Catcher in the Rye Favorite book of all time. And no, I don't want to assasinate anyone.
Shakespeare, William – Hamlet Good night, guy.
Shakespeare, William – Macbeth Raaaaaad!
Shakespeare, William – A Midsummer Night's Dream People get it on a lot in the woods.
Shakespeare, William – Romeo and Juliet Teenagers get all overdramatic about first love.
Shaw, George Bernard – Pygmalion
Shelley, Mary – Frankenstein If you mess with nature, at LEAST give it the benefit of the doubt before you decide it's evil.
Silko, Leslie Marmon – Ceremony
Solzhenitsyn, Alexander – One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
Sophocles – Antigone
Sophocles – Oedipus Rex The original M.I.L.F.
Steinbeck, John – The Grapes of Wrath Them's some sour grapes.
Stevenson, Robert Louis – Treasure Island Only if there's Muppets
Stowe, Harriet Beecher – Uncle Tom's Cabin
Swift, Jonathan – Gulliver's Travels Little or giant, men are all the same.
Thackeray, William – Vanity Fair
Thoreau, Henry David – Walden
Tolstoy, Leo – War and Peace
Turgenev, Ivan – Fathers and Sons
Twain, Mark – The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn Waaaaay ahead of its time.
Voltaire – Candide
Vonnegut, Kurt Jr. – Slaughterhouse-Five
Walker, Alice – The Color Purple
Wharton, Edith – The House of Mirth
Welty, Eudora – Collected Stories
Whitman, Walt – Leaves of Grass It's perty.
Wilde, Oscar – The Picture of Dorian Gray “I don't know how to put this, but somewhere there's a picture of you getting prettier”. (I know I probably butchered that quote, Faye).
Williams, Tennessee – The Glass Menagerie. Only if it's performed by the men in speedos with moustaches on rollerblades.
Woolf, Virginia – To the Lighthouse
Wright, Richard – Native Son
schematic Need something? comprehensible
So far this morning I have:
-Spent two hours adjusting the cubicle walls
-Gone around getting people's lunch orders
-1 task of my actual job
Today has definitely been a Secretary morning. Minus a delightful spanking from James Spader. Damnit.
But the good news is that it's Friday! And even though I have no real plans tonight, and have to spend much of tomorrow cleaning the apartment like mad, the fact that I get to sleep in tomorrow and don't have to come in here is comfort enough.
Does anyone want to do anything tonight?
The other good news is that I dreampt of meeting Simon and Edgar last night. In my dream they invited me and Faye to have a drink with them and discuss zombies. I couldn't have INVENTED a better dream. Thank you, subconscious mind.
behold
My website is back up! Hooray! Of course all the original pictures are lost and the content is about a year old (a lot of my links don't even exist anymore), but it's there and that's something. So hooray for that.
In other news, Faye and I are THIS close to finishing our treatment for our Zombie movie. T-minus 8 days until we give it to Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg PERSONALLY. After that, we will target other sources of inspiration (Stuart Gordon, Joss Whedon, Rob Zombie, Lloyd Kaufman) and hopefully, at least, they will like it. At most, they will like it so much that they will want to be on board and help us finance it and get it made. Of course, if that happens, I will have to keep purchasing new underwear as I will be continously soiling myself from excitment and disbelief.
We will also compile of “dream casting” situation and send the treatment to those folks. This probably all sounds crazy. But it worked for the guy who wrote Dodgeball. And we'd like to think our script is better than that steaming pile of poo.
Useless Trivia: A Meme
This one might be fun and mindless. And I'm definitely in that mindframe right now. Let's have a go, shall we?
FIRSTS
First job: If babysitting doesn't count, my first job was as a housekeeper in a bed and breakfast in Tacoma. The best thing about it was the tips. Rich people stayed there and left me anywhere from $5-20 for cleaning their rooms. The worst part was that sometimes really old people would stay there for extended periods of time and made the room smell like death. That sounds mean, but it was a really bad smell.
First screen name: It was LintIsGod on AOL. I was really into Rancid and Operation Ivy at the time and that was Tim Armstrong's nickname. And I was a freak. That account might still work cos it was a sub-account under my dad's and he still uses his.
First self-purchased CD: It was In Utero by Nirvana. I didn't make the switch from cassette to CD for a long time. Even after that, I held on the to beauty of the mix tape until a few years ago. I made one too many tapes for people who said “Oh, thanks, but I don't have a tape player”. All that work and they wouldn't even listen to it! That hurts. So I gave up the lost art of tape making. CD making is almost as cool, but since tape making is so much work, I always thought it was one of the most heartfelt gifts you could give or receive. I still have ALL the tapes anyone ever made me.
First piercing/tattoo: I got my ears pierced when I was 12. I didn't really want it and I never wear earrings so I think my holes have closed up by now. I got my first tattoo on my 19th birthday after putting a LOT of thought into what I was going to get. I got a shooting star on my lower back to remind me that life is fleeting. That's just the sort of cheesy thing a 19-year-old would do. But I don't regret it cos I still like the look of the thing.
First true love: I thought I was in love twice before I had my first long-term relationship at 19. Who knows, though. Does “true love” mean they aren't bastards to you? Cos in that case it was definitely when I was 19.
First enemy: Hehe. This makes me laugh. When I was a sophomore in high school, I had been doing the “rebel” image for 2 years. I was the only one in my school with a pair of Doc Martens. I can say that with confidence because there were only about 1000 people in my school. Only 500 in grades 9-12. One day, I noticed an 8th grader wearing a pair of docs. She had little red streaks in her hair like mine as well. I started calling her “My Clone”. She caught wind of it and was PISSED. Turns out before then she thought I was cool. But after she heard I called her “My Clone” she decided she hated me and I had to pay. One day, we were at the same rock show. She came up to me and said she wanted to “kick my ass”. I had never been in a fight and certainly didn't intend to start with this little kid. I said “I'm not going to fight you, little girl.” This made her even more angry and she kept trying to get me to go outside. But me and my friends just kept laughing at her and finally she gave up. I think she was pretty embarassed after that and never talked to me again. I don't know if she's my first “enemy” but that's what I thought of when I read that question, so there it is.
LASTS
Last big car ride: Stabbin' Cabbin!
Last kiss: This morning when Dom and I left for work. Awwww! [barf]
Last library book checked out: “The Martian Chronicles”. I'm reading it right now and loving it! I read it when I was a kid and thought it was boring but reading it now, I understand why. It's pretty chock full of socialist metaphor.
Last movie seen: Anchorpoop.
Last beverage drank: Water. Boring.
Last food consumed: Some really gross rice crackers that were badly in need of some MSG.
Last phone call: Does my job count? A co-worker in Portland asking me to fax some documents to him. If that doesn't count then…I don't know. Who cares?
Last CD played: Pulp “This Is Hardcore”. The older I get, the more I relate to that album. Is that scary?
Last annoyance: Being at work.
Last pop drank: Safeway Select Cola at some point over the weekend. I've really been curbing my soda intake. Good for me.
Last ice cream eaten: A little homemade sundae last week.
Last time scolded: I don't know, but I'm sure it had to do with something at work and I'm sure it was by the 'Lilest Dictator.
Last shirt worn: The one that's on me.
I…
I am: bored.
I want: To be at home.
I have: A lot of work to do.
I wish: I didn't have a lot of work to do.
I hate: this job
I fear: Getting caught not doing work.
I hear: “Band on the Run” on the radio. I hear it at least once a day as well. Hooray for radio rotation.
I search: For another word for “chums”.
I regret: Trying to talk down the price of that Crispin Glover painting.
I love: Sleeping in.
I always: Eat breakfast
I never: Vote Republican
I dance: Like the wave of the ocean romance.
I sing: Like a lark.
I cry: At certain episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer
YES or NO:
You keep a diary: Does this thing count? Cos if not, I have my jounals full of terribly poetry from when I was depressed as well.
You like to cook: Yes
You have a secret you have not shared with anyone: I'm sure there must be something, but it's not intentional. I don't like to keep secrets. They make me feel dirty. And not in that good, Xtina Aguliera kinda way.
DO YOU…?
Have a crush: Many. I'm a very lusty person. I also have lots of non-sexual crushes.
Want to get married: Not especially.
Get motion sickness: Sometimes, but I'm usually asking for it by reading in the car.
You’re a health freak: “Do you you're a health freak”. That doesn't make any sense, but ok. I'm becoming one as I age and my body starts falling apart. I dont like it though. The ice cream calleth.
FAVORITES
Number: The one that means I won.
Color: Red
Day: We've covered this. The ones where I don't have to work.
Month: They're all good in their own way.
Songs: The ones that I like.
Season: See question about months.
Drink: The good thing about drinks is that there are so many of them and they all serve a different function. Milk is very different from water but I love them both. Take that, meme.
Alcohol: The kind that doesn't give me a horrible raging hangover in the morning.
PREFERENCES
Cuddle or make out: Both are pretty good.
Chocolate milk or hot chocolate: Cocoa.
Milk, dark, or white chocolate: Milk.
Vanilla or chocolate: Depends on what the vanilla is in.
IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU…
Cried? I got a little misty when I got an email from my friend who told me his father had passed away. I never met his father, but the email itself was a sort of eulogy and it was very beautiful.
Helped someone? I made Dom some toast last night. Not exactly nobel prize winning stuff but it's something.
Bought something? Of course. It's pretty hard to get through a day w/o money changing hands for something or other. I bought some orange juice this morning.
Gotten sick? Just got over something, actually.
Gone to the movies? Sadly, no.
Said ‘I love you’?: Yes.
Written a real letter: Not yet, but I'm about to write my PETA action letters.
Talked to an ex?: Yes.
Missed an ex?: Yes but not like that. We're friends now.
Written in a journal?: Does this count?
Had a serious talk?: How serious? Only if “we're poor” counts.
Missed someone? Yes.
Hugged someone? Yes
Is that the end? That ended up being kinda long. But only because I feel the need to expound on everything. Hopefully some of you will enjoy this one.
Effed by the Wind 