Randomness Meme

Here's 10 questions that have nothing to do with anything or each other. Rawk!

1. An artist paints your portrait while you are engaging in one of your favorite activities…what would you be doing? What would the title of the portrait be? I would be lazing out on the couch watching “Best Week Ever” on VH1. It would be called “Wasted Youth”.

2. You come in a bottle and you have magical properties, what are you? Examples: genie, pancake syrup, etc… What would be on your instruction label? Coming in a bottle gives you magic properties?! Wow! But seriously, I would be HP sauce. Those who consume me (preferably on beans on toast) would become British. My bottle would say “Now with 50% more carbs. Shake well before each use.”

3. You've just been selected as a poster child for a make-believe organization. What is the organization and why have they specifically chosen you? I am the poster child for pretending I'm working when I'm actually filling out memes. It would be the Association for Apathetic Society.

4. “You can fly, you can fly, you can fly”! …and you are NOT Peter Pan! Who or what are you? Richard Branson.

5. If you had a vanity horn on your vehicle (one which plays a song) what song would your horn blow to announce your arrival? Eye of the Tiger.

6. You have the opportunity to make a movie with your favorite star, who would the star be and what would the title and the tag line be? Example: Richard Dreyfuss :: Jaws :: Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water Obviously I would make a movie with Crispin Glover in it. It would be called “Rice Crispy's” and the tagline would be “Crap, snackle and mop”. It would be a documentary wherein I eat brunch with Crispy at Werner Hertzog's house. Jeff Goldblum would also be there.

7. The lead story on the Eleven O'Clock News is about you … what have you done? “Filmmakers Baz Luhrman and M. Night Shlamalalalan have been bludgeoned to death by an unidentified assassin. The only clues to this horrible murder are in a polemic letter left by the assassin at the scene of the crime, wherein the killer claimed the filmmakers films were actually “turds dressed up as christmas presents” and they were “shitting in the mouths of America and calling it a sundae”. The manhunt is on to find the murder of these two beloved artists. We will bring you updates as they arrive.

8. Blue laws are absolutely ridiculous laws that are still in law books across the nation. Example: In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset. Pick something that annoys the heck out of you and write the law against it. It is unlawful to wear those goddamned little “O.C.” frilly skirts that barely cover your ass and make you look sluttier than a drunken Paris Hilton. Especially if you are over 20 or under 18.

9. If you were in the story Alice In Wonderland, what character would you be and why? The dormouse. I like to sleep in teapots.

10. If it did make a sound, what sound would your head make when you shake it? It would make pooping sounds because pooping sounds are funny.

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razor blade taxidermists from 014

Whoa. I did Bikram yoga yesterday with Elyse. It's the one where you do it in a heated room. It was my first yoga experience and I think it was a good choice. I also think I did pretty well considering Elyse said that most people don't make it all the way through the first time without big breaks. So maybe I'm not in as horrible shape as I thought. I had two hinderences though. One was my damn boobs. I had trouble doing a few moves cos they were totally in the way. Well, that will be taken care of soon enough. There was also one move that I will probably never be able to do because it involves sitting in my knees in such a way that it puts all my body weight on my knee screws. Ouch. Not gonna happen. But everything else was ok, even though there were several moments in which I was pretty sure I was about to have to give up. But I didn't. I made it through. Obviously, I have a looooooong way to go before I can do all the moves all the way. I'm not terribly limber at the moment. But it's something to work towards. When I got home, I was sore, and very very sweaty. I took a shower. I felt kinda weird. A little light headed. I drank some water and then lay down on the couch to watch some tv. This was around 7:00. Then next thing I knew, it was 8:00 and I had fallen asleep so I decided to go lie down in the bedroom instead and the next thing I knew after that, it was 10:00 so I just resigned myself to bed after that. Today I'm only a little achy all over but it's that great muscle ache that lets me know I was doing something right. Hooray!

I just had my 6 month evaluation here at work. It went fine. I'm doing a good job, etc. But I was hoping for an immediate raise, and I won't get one because there are some stubborn people down there in our Portland office. So I have to start adding on all these responsibilities and do them for a little while so that my boss can say “She's been doing this for a while and doing it well so she needs a raise”. Ugh. We'll see what happens with that I guess.