Randomness Meme

Here's 10 questions that have nothing to do with anything or each other. Rawk!

1. An artist paints your portrait while you are engaging in one of your favorite activities…what would you be doing? What would the title of the portrait be? I would be lazing out on the couch watching “Best Week Ever” on VH1. It would be called “Wasted Youth”.

2. You come in a bottle and you have magical properties, what are you? Examples: genie, pancake syrup, etc… What would be on your instruction label? Coming in a bottle gives you magic properties?! Wow! But seriously, I would be HP sauce. Those who consume me (preferably on beans on toast) would become British. My bottle would say “Now with 50% more carbs. Shake well before each use.”

3. You've just been selected as a poster child for a make-believe organization. What is the organization and why have they specifically chosen you? I am the poster child for pretending I'm working when I'm actually filling out memes. It would be the Association for Apathetic Society.

4. “You can fly, you can fly, you can fly”! …and you are NOT Peter Pan! Who or what are you? Richard Branson.

5. If you had a vanity horn on your vehicle (one which plays a song) what song would your horn blow to announce your arrival? Eye of the Tiger.

6. You have the opportunity to make a movie with your favorite star, who would the star be and what would the title and the tag line be? Example: Richard Dreyfuss :: Jaws :: Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water Obviously I would make a movie with Crispin Glover in it. It would be called “Rice Crispy's” and the tagline would be “Crap, snackle and mop”. It would be a documentary wherein I eat brunch with Crispy at Werner Hertzog's house. Jeff Goldblum would also be there.

7. The lead story on the Eleven O'Clock News is about you … what have you done? “Filmmakers Baz Luhrman and M. Night Shlamalalalan have been bludgeoned to death by an unidentified assassin. The only clues to this horrible murder are in a polemic letter left by the assassin at the scene of the crime, wherein the killer claimed the filmmakers films were actually “turds dressed up as christmas presents” and they were “shitting in the mouths of America and calling it a sundae”. The manhunt is on to find the murder of these two beloved artists. We will bring you updates as they arrive.

8. Blue laws are absolutely ridiculous laws that are still in law books across the nation. Example: In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset. Pick something that annoys the heck out of you and write the law against it. It is unlawful to wear those goddamned little “O.C.” frilly skirts that barely cover your ass and make you look sluttier than a drunken Paris Hilton. Especially if you are over 20 or under 18.

9. If you were in the story Alice In Wonderland, what character would you be and why? The dormouse. I like to sleep in teapots.

10. If it did make a sound, what sound would your head make when you shake it? It would make pooping sounds because pooping sounds are funny.

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