My English Degree Pays Off

Here is a list of classic literature. Bold the ones you have read. Next to the ones you read, write a one sentence review.

Beowulf (boringwulf)
Achebe, Chinua – Things Fall Apart 9 year-old Jessica learns Man is an asshole.
Agee, James – A Death in the Family
Austen, Jane – Pride and Prejudice The only Jane Austen novel that's not JUST about getting married.
Baldwin, James – Go Tell It on the Mountain
Beckett, Samuel – Waiting for Godot Pretentious, much?
Bellow, Saul – The Adventures of Augie March
Bronte, Charlotte – Jane Eyre
Bronte, Emily – Wuthering Heights
Camus, Albert – The Stranger (It's Satan!)
Cather, Willa – Death Comes for the Archbishop
Chaucer, Geoffrey – The Canterbury Tales Heath Ledger is AWESOME!
Chekhov, Anton – The Cherry Orchard Will you just SHUT UP about Moskow, already?
Chopin, Kate – The Awakening Feminist tribe that I bought every minute of when I was 12.
Conrad, Joseph – Heart of Darkness War is hell.
Cooper, James Fenimore – The Last of the Mohicans Daniel Day Lewis is AWESOME!
Crane, Stephen – The Red Badge of Courage You're Newbury Award won't save you now.
Dante – Inferno Hell is hell.
Cervantes, Miguel – Don Quixote
Defoe, Daniel – Robinson Crusoe
Dickens, Charles – A Tale of Two Cities
Dostoyevsky, Fyodor – Crime and Punishment I am DYING to see the movie version of this wherein Crispin Glover plays Raskolnikov.
Douglass, Frederick – Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass
Dreiser, Theodore – An American Tragedy
Dumas, Alexandre – The Three Musketeers
Eliot, George – The Mill on the Floss
Ellison, Ralph – Invisible Man
Emerson, Ralph Waldo – Selected Essays
Faulkner, William – As I Lay Dying
Faulkner, William – The Sound and the Fury
Fielding, Henry – Tom Jones
Fitzgerald, F. Scott – The Great Gatsby Spoiled rich people are boring.
Flaubert, Gustave – Madame Bovary
Ford, Ford Madox – The Good Soldier
Goethe, Johann Wolfgang – Faust That sly little devil!
Golding, William – Lord of the Flies Boys are scary when they're unsupervised.
Hardy, Thomas – Tess of the d'Urbervilles
Hawthorne, Nathaniel – The Scarlet Letter Don't be a slut.
Heller, Joseph – Catch 22 War is still hell.
Hemingway, Ernest – A Farewell to Arms Meh.
Homer – The Iliad Cool.
Homer – The Odyssey I like the Simpson's version better.
Hugo, Victor – The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Hurston, Zora Neale – Their Eyes Were Watching God
Huxley, Aldous – Brave New World Scary.
Ibsen, Henrik – A Doll's House
James, Henry – The Portrait of a Lady
James, Henry – The Turn of the Screw
Joyce, James – A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man The most accessible Joyce out there. So I like it.
Kafka, Franz – The Metamorphosis “This isn't what I wished for at all”.
Kingston, Maxine Hong – The Woman Warrior
Lee, Harper – To Kill a Mockingbird One of the few great books that also made a great movie.
Lewis, Sinclair – Babbitt
London, Jack – The Call of the Wild
Mann, Thomas – The Magic Mountain
Marquez, Gabriel Garcia – One Hundred Years of Solitude Depressing as hell.
Melville, Herman – Bartleby the Scrivener Working is hell. Also made a kick ass movie starring Crispin Glover. (Ok, so that was 2 sentences).
Melville, Herman – Moby Dick Whaling is hell. I'm going to stop that now.
Miller, Arthur – The Crucible Girls are mean.
Morrison, Toni – Beloved
O'Connor, Flannery – A Good Man is Hard to Find
O'Neill, Eugene – Long Day's Journey into Night
Orwell, George – Animal Farm Animals are as corrupt as people!
Pasternak, Boris – Doctor Zhivago
Plath, Sylvia – The Bell Jar
Poe, Edgar Allan – Selected Tales
Proust, Marcel – Swann's Way
Pynchon, Thomas – The Crying of Lot 49
Remarque, Erich Maria – All Quiet on the Western Front
Rostand, Edmond – Cyrano de Bergerac
Roth, Henry – Call It Sleep
Salinger, J.D. – The Catcher in the Rye Favorite book of all time. And no, I don't want to assasinate anyone.
Shakespeare, William – Hamlet Good night, guy.
Shakespeare, William – Macbeth Raaaaaad!
Shakespeare, William – A Midsummer Night's Dream People get it on a lot in the woods.
Shakespeare, William – Romeo and Juliet Teenagers get all overdramatic about first love.
Shaw, George Bernard – Pygmalion
Shelley, Mary – Frankenstein If you mess with nature, at LEAST give it the benefit of the doubt before you decide it's evil.
Silko, Leslie Marmon – Ceremony
Solzhenitsyn, Alexander – One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich
Sophocles – Antigone
Sophocles – Oedipus Rex The original M.I.L.F.
Steinbeck, John – The Grapes of Wrath Them's some sour grapes.
Stevenson, Robert Louis – Treasure Island Only if there's Muppets
Stowe, Harriet Beecher – Uncle Tom's Cabin
Swift, Jonathan – Gulliver's Travels Little or giant, men are all the same.
Thackeray, William – Vanity Fair
Thoreau, Henry David – Walden
Tolstoy, Leo – War and Peace
Turgenev, Ivan – Fathers and Sons
Twain, Mark – The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn Waaaaay ahead of its time.
Voltaire – Candide
Vonnegut, Kurt Jr. – Slaughterhouse-Five
Walker, Alice – The Color Purple
Wharton, Edith – The House of Mirth
Welty, Eudora – Collected Stories
Whitman, Walt – Leaves of Grass It's perty.
Wilde, Oscar – The Picture of Dorian Gray “I don't know how to put this, but somewhere there's a picture of you getting prettier”. (I know I probably butchered that quote, Faye).
Williams, Tennessee – The Glass Menagerie. Only if it's performed by the men in speedos with moustaches on rollerblades.
Woolf, Virginia – To the Lighthouse
Wright, Richard – Native Son


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