Mutilated Muffins!

I am sad. I went to retrieve my muffin from my bag and it was crushed into a fine muffin powder. I am eating it anyway though because everyone is at lunch and I have to man the desk until they get back. This job has turned me into an eater of crumbs. How humiliating. Speaking of which, I like these meme things. Here’s one. Let’s see if I can do the html command thingies right.

Bold the ones that apply to you. Replace the ones that don’t. I think the idea is to have this get to someone eventually who doesn’t change anything so the entire doc is bold. What a strange cosmic convergence that would turn out to be.

01. I like to bake.
02. I can be VERY LOUD at times.
03. Elijah Wood is funny-looking.
04. But he is also completely cute. (Only when he was a kid. Bare in mind that I was a kid then too so it’s ok).
05. I’m not a one-contact-wearing freak! I’m pretty sure I don’t know anyone that this would apply to.
06. I almost never wear makeup.
07. Unless lip gloss counts.
08. I am struggling to capitalize all the correct letters in this post. eh?
09. British accents are sexy.
10. Scottish ones too.
11. I love getting things in the mail, but it’s excruciating waiting for them. Actually, I think it’s kinda fun to wait for them.
12. Square-toed, chunky shoes make me wince.
13. Caffeine gives me tummy trouble. But I drink it like a fiend anyway.
14. I like to go barefoot around the house.
15. I’m wearing a shirt that says “Everyone Loves A Jewish Girl” on the front. No, but isn’t it so true
16. I don’t think I’ve ever really been in love.
17. Bono needs to take Boy George’s advice and get funky with his drummer.
18. I’d rather daydream/zone out instead of paying attention.
19. I have a gay hairdresser. But it’s a girl!
20. I wouldn’t be happy with a straight hairdresser. I wasn’t happy with ANY hairdresser till I found this one.
21. I am a tease.
22. People think I’m flirting when I really just love to joke.
23. Love makes everything better.
24. Respect/trust is important to me.
25. I read other people’s blogs obsessively. But I think it’s only cos my job is boring.
26. And I hope that someone out there reads mine just as obsessively. Otherwise, what would be the point? I would just keep a paper diary.
27. Sometimes I fight with people for the sake of fighting.
28. I’m weird.
29. I’m glad I’m not addicted to any harmful substances. Define “harmful”.
30. Except for chocolate.
31. And Pringles.
32. I try to be good, but usually end up failing.
33. I procrastinate. A LOT.
34. I need to do some laundry.
35. I prefer email to the telephone. But only to people that answer their damned email.
36. Gel pens are cool.
37. I get jealous like nobody’s business. But thankfully not about Corey Feldman so much anymore.
38. I wish every day was a good day. Who in the hell wouldn’t bold that one?
39. I noticed the grammatical error in number 38.
40. I hate un-choreographed club-type dancing.
41. I really enjoy thoughtful gifts, even if they cost nothing. Still, I’ll like almost anything just because the person took the time to pick it out. Unless it’s some of the stuff my mom gets me. Nesting dolls? Pointless.
42. Michael Palin and John Cleese are my favourite Pythons.
43. There’s no humor quite like random humor. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be random humor.
44. Sometimes I go to Borders and read things and then leave without buying them.
45. I always dream in color.
46. I was a guy in a dream one time.
47. Maybe it was more than one time and maybe I had gay monkey love with all Aragorn, Legolas, Frodo, Sam and Pippen. That’s more of a waking fantasy. But with all 4 hobbits.
48. Reality Television is a blight upon humanity.
49. But oh god, I cannot live without America’s Next Top Model.
50. David Bowie is a golden god.
51. Whoever decided only girls are allowed to wear dresses has obviously never seen Johnny Depp in a dress. KILTS!
52. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is one of the best shows on television.
53. And seeing as how I live for television programming, I would know.
54. I’m tired of worrying about shit.
55. Sometimes I think I might be a little bit gay. Or all the time.
56. It’s usually when I’m watching a Catherine Zeta-Jones movie.
57. I can (and often do) eat breakfast three meals a day.
58. If I killed someone, I can count on at least one friend to help me hide the body. Faye and I already have a plot picked out for Baz Luhrmann.
59. I need to be more patient with others.
60. because oh my god are other people lazy, slow and stupid sometimes.
61. I tend to lose pens. But mostly because people steal them.
62. I don’t understand why I can like the music my parents like, but they can’t like the music I like. Is it so hard? I don’t really care if they like it or not. I’m not 12.
63. I like making people happy.
64. I hate it when people complain too much.
65. Which is kind of ironic considering that I complain nigh-constantly and with an almost artistic flair.
66. I sometimes imagine that I am an international secret agent.
67. With a license to kill, baby! More like with a license to kill babies.
68. I once spent over $100 on a pair of jeans.
69. Actually, 5 or 6 times. 7.
70. The Emperor’s New Groove is the funniest Disney film ever made.
71. I don’t immediately hate a book just because I have to read it for school. Ah school. I miss you.
72. Marry me, David Boreanaz.
73. I used to be online a lot more. Now, when I get on, I run out of things to do very quickly. Er…no.
74. It’s easy for me to slack off and get distracted.
75. Independence is important to me.
76. I laugh way too much ALL THE FUCKING TIME. How is that a bad thing?
77. Harrison Ford is sexy. Change that to Han Solo and you’ve got yourself a deal.
78. I am still immature. Poop.
79. I love people who can tell me about themselves without me being nosy.
80. I think the wind messes up my hair on purpose. What? What kind of paranoid motherfucker put that one in?
81. I see all the movies. Even the bad ones. Seems like mostly the bad ones.
82. I never want to be an eighth grader again.
83. Calculus frightens me.
84. I’m afraid of being boring and annoying – because sometimes I am.
85. Keanu Reeves and I are going to have a straight yet gay marriage. Somehow I don’t think it will ever be consummated.
86. I LOVE movies.
88. Contemporary metal makes me want to bounce my face off a telephone poll.
89. I laugh whenever someone says the word “poop.” Poop.
90. Or “cocktail.”
91. Or “nutcracker.”
92. I wear glasses. Or at least, I’m supposed to.
93. I am amused easily.
94. I wish President Bush would go away.
95. I believe that nobody has the right to criticize anybody else’s country. All countries have major issues. Although I can certainly think of plenty to criticise about my own damn country.
96. All of my limbs are still attached.
97. Sometimes, I hold it until I have to run to the bathroom or I won’t make it, but I can’t run because the movement will dislodge the pee. Otherwise I would be in the bathroom every 20 minutes.
98. Jude Law is HAWTTTTTTT.
99. The funniest person in RotK is the guy who stands behind and to the left of Gamling when he’s talking to Theoden after Aragorn leaves and rolls his eyes when Theoden says that they cannot defeat the forces of Mordor, but they will meet them in battle anyway. I never noticed that. But it’s probably pretty funny. I like the part where Pippin sings his butt rock song.
100. If I could have anything in the world it would be just one pure night of uninterrupted sleep. That’s easy. It’s called Nyquil.


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