bacon

Things are kind of frustrating right now. Here are some of the things that are burning my bacon.

When are they going to post the schedule for the San Diego Comic Con? It's in a month and plane tickets are not getting any cheaper. I really want us to get in, obviously. But I don't want to find out a week ahead of time and then have to ask for time off work AND pay $500 for a plane ticket. I hope all festivals don't take their sweet time like this.

Marilyn will NOT stop bullying poor Tobe. This morning, Dom discovered that Tobe has been peeing in the corner by his food. I thought about it and it makes sense. That's the only corner in the house that's HIS corner. Whenever Marilyn chases him and hisses at him, he runs over there. So he's probably marking his meager territory. He's probably also scared to use the litter box. On SEVERAL occasions, I have seen him go in there, only to have Marilyn follow him a minute later and chase him out of there. Where is my baby supposed to poop? I don't understand why Marilyn is giving him such a hard time. He's SO mellow and offers no resistance. I hate being mad at a cat. It makes me feel kind of evil.

If one more person who HASN'T seen “Snow Day” says “it sounds like a rip-off of 'Shaun of the Dead'.”, I will…I don't know what. I'd LIKE take away their movie-watching privileges because if they don't realise that there is MORE THAT ONE move allowed within a genre, they don't deserve to see any more movies.

My job, of course, is frustrating. Tuesday, after several days of me looking for other work, my boss called me into his office. He told me he'd had a “revelation”. He realised that not everybody who works in a job needs to be trained in and/or planning on doing that job for the rest of their lives as long as they work hard while they're there. He also realised that people with a more diverse background are better in a job because they can offer a different perspective. That lead him into saying that he didn't know where I was with moving on, but that he would like to keep me here as long as he can. He said I did really good work and that he really appreciated everything I added to the company. He knew that eventually I would need to move on and pursue my movie career but that if I'm just looking for another office job, he would really like me to stay here. He said he'd talk to the Powers That Be about getting me involved in profit sharing and that he would welcome any suggestions from me as to how to make the work environment happier. He even said he understood that while working hard is important, a happy work environment is also essential. I certainly wasn't about to suggest that he let me have my LJ back, but I found the whole conversation to be very confusing. I hate to compare my job to a bad relationship again, but that's really how it feels. I'm in a relationship that isn't right for me. But I've been in it for so long that it's hard to imagine being without that person. There are a lot of perks that I would miss (free bus pass, for one). And if I did get a different office job, I'm sure the bullshit would still exist. It would just take on a different form. Profit sharing, eh? Fuck. I don't know what to do. This place really does depress the shit out of me. I'm certain that this job is, in part, why I've been so moody (and tired) all the time. But right now there isnt necessarily anything available to me that would be better. Not until I can actually con someone into paying me to make movies. Fuckety fuck.

I need some funny pictures of celebrities to cheer me up.

June 9, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary, I Made Movies, I'm Working . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

who's my daddy?

Last night, Faye, Ahe and I went to see “The Crow: Wicked Prayer”. As usual, I won’t spoil the review that Faye will eventually post for Bad Movie Whateverday, but I want to make a comment or two.

First, I want to say that I LOVED the noc noc happy hour. Who can argue with $1 beers and $2-3 meals? Not me. I can argue with some of the juke box selections, but you can’t have everything. Best of all, the happy hour goes till 9:00! I will go back there again, to be sure.

After 4 beers, I had a nice buzz going, and we headed over to Pacific Place. When we walked in, we were the ONLY ONES in the theatre. This was very exciting. I thought that meant a night of heckling was in store. Sadly, a John Gulager-looking fellow strolled in. (After we realized that it was a Dimension film, Faye joked that it probably WAS John Gulager). Then later, two girls sat behind us. We couldn't talk through the whole film NOW. But there were still some jokes that needed to be made because

1)When did Edward Furlong get so strange looking? I actually found the “romantic” scenes completely unbelievable (and a little nauseating).
2)Tara Reid’s hair was ridiculous.
3)David Boreanaz either took this role because he knew he would completely outshine everyone else in the cast, or else his baby needs new diapers. Regardless, he basically played Angelus which I always enjoy.
4)I think Macy Gray is developmentally challenged. In the brain.
5)Dennis Hopper plays a role that was obviously written for a young rapper and not an old character actor. Hearing him call Tara Reid “shorty” just sounds wrong.

So all the above elements made it funny. But there were a few things that annoyed me too. When the original Crow came out, I was in high school and already a fan of the comic. I certainly wasn’t cinematically educated at that point in my life (as Faye so deftly pointed out when I was still trying to put this emotional response into words) but I knew that I loved the movie. I found it funny and delightfully violent and beautifully sad (without being pukingly so…save the irritating little girl). Brandon Lee was so good. He really understood the character he was playing. He knew that even though Eric Draven was a man who was the victim of tragic circumstances, after he was brought back to life by the powers that be, he was no longer a man, but a spiritual force designed to “put the wrong things right”. He held the painful memories of what had happened, but he used them only as a tool to complete his task. He was still haunted by his past somewhat but because he was no longer a man, these ghosts didn’t prevent him from doing what needed to be done. And when the Crow kicked ass, he was like an automaton. And it was COOL. Edward Furlong’s Crow is a whiny sniveling “why me” little bitch and I so wanted Angelus to beat his ass. But sadly, that didn’t happen.

My hang-ups about the past aside, I really did enjoy the movie. All you naysayers who didn’t come with us, you guys missed out.

On an unrelated topic, I'm very sad about Anne Bancroft. I didn’t even know she was sick. I hope that Mel Brooks is OK. I saw an A & E biography on him and when the two of them talked about when they first fell in love, they were glowing. YEARS LATER. It was really cool. Especially when Mel Brookes said, only half joking, that he couldn’t believe he’d conned her into marrying him.

June 8, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary, Filmpinions . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

from the pouch of

Mark is a genius. This totally works. I'm very excited. I just have to be super duper careful now. Everyone is at lunch so I should be ok.

And now, on with the sneaky!

This is freaky and hilarious at the same time. I like the one where Angelina Jolie looks like a demon (although that's not much different than what she normally looks like). I also like alien David Duchovny, sad DeNiro and Sith Lord Pope.

June 7, 2005
Categories: Hollywood Side Show, I'm Working . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her

WEEKEND RECAP

Friday

The Troika (being Dom, Faye and myself…I decided I needed a nickname for us because I'm usually writing about the three of us. What better nickname then a reference to three slightly evil geeky villains from Buffy?) arrived at the Rendezvous for the “Opening night Gala (or Gayla, depending on how you pronunciation preference) for STIFF. We had no idea what to expect. The program suggested that it was 5 hours long and we thought they couldn't be showing movies for 5 hours. Turns out they WERE showing movies for 5 hours. Since we were very hungry and tired and seeing a midnight movie that night anyway, we opted for being social and fed. I think we made the right decision. After all, I would have had to share an audience with my nemesis, Fan Boy. And that would have done no one any good.
We left around 10:00 to go to the Neptune to see “Night of the Living Dorks” (or however you say that in German). Even though I had consumed 5 ciders, I had only the slightest buzz. I think I may be regaining the Karen Allen in Raiders-esque alcohol tolerance that I possessed during my 8 boozy months of living abroad. Hmmm. Good or bad? Anyway, we got in line for the movie and Dom and I passed out “Snow Day” postcards promoting the screening the next day. We, in turn, received free energy drinks from the Jones Soda crew that I will NEVER drink. Every time I think of ANY energy drink, it reminds me of Red Bull which I've only had once in conjunction with too much vodka and an early-morning three hour charter bus ride. Suffice it to say, I will never drink Red Bull again and don't even want to be reminded of the taste, smell, texture or concept.
Moving right along…we took our seats for the movie, armed with a last hoorah of carbohydrates. We were treated to a short before the feature. When I say treated, I actually mean we were taunted because this “little” short about a high school geek who makes a pact with the devil to be good at basketball was ALL special effects and nothing else. THIS is the kind of thing that SIFF accepts as independent? Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Almost every festival with the word “international” in it is basically a hollywood-sponsored dealy. But I was surprised. And jealous. But that was nothing compared to the sheer disgust that all three of us felt once the feature started.
I don't know who these guys are that made this movie. I did a little internet research and from what I can tell it's two old German men who basically make American-style teen sex comedies en masse. So why they needed the help of an “independent” American film festival is beyond me. But that said, I think they will do fine because the audience FUCKING LOVED it. The film was essentially a cross between American Pie and Idle Hands. (The latter of which I marginally enjoyed). The audience was chalk full of eager beavers who ERUPTED in laughter at every stupid cliche boner or weed joke. I also realise now that the so-called geeky protagonists WEREN'T EVEN THAT GEEKY. They smoked pot on the way to school, they got laid and they were even marginally attractive. In fact, the “geeky” goth-girl love interest was EXTREMELY attractive (and don't even get me started about the gratuitous scene involving this alleged high school virgin sleeping in lacy underpants and a tight t-shirt). As for the horror aspect of it, well, it was luke warm. There were more gross-out moments involving excrement and jizz than there were gorey moments. It's like they threw the whole zombie bit in there as an afterthought; some cheap way of making the otherwise cliche “losers-get-laid” plot stand out. Awful awful awful. But I guess we were the only three people who thought so. I just hope it was because it was a drunken midnight movie audience who was eager to laugh at anything. Because I was actually EMBARRASSED when the audience shrieked with glee at a reference to Seattle and Kurt Cobain. (Although Faye has a theory that they actually change that line to be city-specific. So if it's playing in Lubbock, Texas, the line is “If this spell works, we can fly to Texas and resurrect Buddy Holly” WOOOOOHOOOO!). After all that mental exhaustion, I went home to sleep the sleep of the sex-crazed, dorky German zombie.

Saturday

Faye and I headed down to the Seattle Art Museum around 1:00 to catch the screening of all the Weekend Film Challenge films. In particular, we wanted to see the one that Dom, krk, Ben, Borgia and Jef made on the big screen. For the challenge, several teams got a prop, a genre and a line of dialog on Friday night and had to complete a film (written, shot and edited) in 72 hours. The prop was lotion. The line of dialog was “Basically, everything that comes out of my mouth is good” and the genre, for our boys, was sci-fi. The short that they created from those criteria is nothing short of comic brilliance. I can't even begin to describe it, but I will definitely link to it when it appears on Storypipe later. The rest of the films were pretty funny too (except for the one that wasn't), but I still think “Future Good” was the cream of the crop.
After the screening, Faye and I got interviewed for Storypipe which was weird. I'm still not used to being in front of the camera. But we did get to tell “bad date stories” (in our ongoing effort to extinguish all stereotypes about women filmmakers).
Dom had to run off to interview some legitimate artists, so Faye, Borgia and I killed time at Shorty's before our screening at 6:00. I have never played Lord of the Rings pinball before and I have to say it is ABSOLUTELY my favorite pinball after South Park pinball. If for no other reason than the moving Balrog piece.
The screening went as well as can be expected for a space that only holds about 30 people. I can't wait till we can get this thing in front of a horror audience though.
After the screening, we hung about the Rendezvous for a while longer and then headed over to the Nite Lite to take over their juke box and keep it Garth Brooks free for a while.

Sunday

I was utterly useless. Except when I was stricken with my monthly bout of guilt for living in filth, and cleaned the house.

June 6, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary, Filmpinions . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

image Spike Oil

Today I discovered that the Tangent Productions site is also blocked from my work computer. That is LOW, man. It's also creepy because I haven't actually BEEN to that site from my work computer in a while. I have two theories.
1) They found it from my LJ which means that they actually WERE reading my journal and it's a good job I'm locking them.
2) They googled me.
I'm not sure which theory creeps me out more. I realise I sound a bit paranoid but this website blocking business has got me all bugaboo!

Luckily, my genius friend Mark showed me a neat trick for bypassing the block. I tried it and low and behold it WORKED! So my LJ days may not be over just yet. For now, though, I'm going to lay low because obviously I am under scrutiny. I can't take any chances. The Red Squad will never take me alive! The cheese stands alone!

Whoa. What? Where am I?

In other, less paranoid news, I was going through intern resumes today and found two very hilarious sentences on two separate cover letters.

First, “During my employment as a lifeguard, I enjoyed the responsibility that I had over people's lives.” This was from some frat boy who apparently likes to play god.

And more disturbingly, “I hope that we can meet soon so that we can go over my qualifications and discuss my exceptional potency.”

That one made me laugh so loud that others in the office came to see what was going on. They found hilarious and tried to convince me to bring him in for an interview as a joke. Apparently, he is Russian so it's possible that because of the language barrier, he doesn't realise that he sounds like he wants to impregnate someone. Or worse…or better?

June 2, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary, I'm Working . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Batman Fever

As if I didn't already love Sam Rockwell enough, he had to go and do a thing like this little short called “Robin's Big Date” wherein Rockwell plays Batman to that kid from Dodgeball's Robin. I especially love how they didn't try to pad his costume or anything so when he stands up, the thing just HANGS off of him. It takes a little while to download but it's worth it.

June 1, 2005
Categories: I'm Working, YooToob . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

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