by comb be much wop

This morning I had my first dentist appointment in over 3 years. I was really nervous going in because despite not having any mouth pain, a lot can happen in 3 years. Still, I’ve always been pretty lucky with my teeth. They may be yellowed from tea and coffee but I never had to get braces and I’ve only had two cavities in my life. They took 18(!) x-rays of my mouth and scraped the shit out of my gums. They put the fear of Dentist in me by telling me that usually when someone goes that long without a check-up, they will need a “deep-clean” which involves a local anesthetic and an hours worth of extra scraping. They would let me know what the x-rays reveal. THANK YOU TEETH GENES! No deep cleaning for me. I got the usual flossing lecture and they seemed pretty annoyed that I hadn’t been to a dentist in so long (I’ll be damned if I would go to a dentist without insurance. Sorry, guys), but I was outta there, relatively pain-free in under an hour.

Things are very slow at work today. I REALLY miss the internet when it’s slow. This 30-minutes at lunch situation definitely sucks. I am typing this on-the-sly and will upload it at break. However, since I am now in a prison of my own volition, I promise I won’t whinge about work so much. Moving on…

Last night we had a meeting for the upcoming 48-hour film Project for which I am one of the writers. If you aren’t familiar with the project, it goes down thus:
20 or so teams from each city meet on Friday evening at 7 to receive a character, a line of dialog, a prop and a genre. Each team gets a different genre (though there are only 12 options and 24 Seattle teams so we will be doubling up). We then have 48 hours to write, shoot and edit a 4-7 minute film within the given guidelines. The winners receive endless glory and fabulous prizes. There’s not much you can do in a pre-production meeting for a film that you haven’t written yet, but we did our best. We have a general location/group of locations for our arsenal and we can secure some gear. I think it will work out pretty well though. Hell, Faye and I wrote “Retard to Retard” in half an hour after a bottle of wine. Of course, that’s not exactly prize-winning material, but I feel fairly confident. Especially since one of our writers is Jef who wrote the FABULOUS “Future Good” for a previous and similarly-structured contest.

After the meeting, the Troika pondered the premiere of the Stella TV show on Comedy Central. We had gotten free promo DVD’s of the pilot in advance so we decided to just watch that immediately at 8 instead of waiting till 10:30 for the aired version. As we had suspected, Stella feels a little stifled without the rampant comedic use of dildos, dirty jokes and swearing. They also recycled two jokes from their shorts, which is really annoying. But it’s still better than, well, MOST half-hour television that’s on right now. I hope Stella gets a whole new audience and they can move to HBO where they can be all the filthy that they want to be. Later, I found out that some of the more irreverent jokes were actually cut for the aired episode. I hope it was just for time because if not, what gives, Comedy Central?

We also caught the second half of a new hidden camera show that our friend John was on. We missed his part, but luckily, Dom had ghetto tivo’d it so we watched it later in the evening. The show is called “Fire Me…Please!” and the premise is that two “contestants” per half hour get a job for a day and are as annoying and incompetent as possible without doing anything illegal, so that they can get fired as close to 3:00 as possible and win $25,000. Our friend John worked in a smoothie shop and was competing against a guy working in at a dog groomer boutique. The contestants are tipped off about their new “bosses” pet peeves so that they may play against them in order to get fired. It’s an interesting concept and it’s kind of amusing. Obviously, they hired actors to do this so that the show would go according to plan. It’s funny how they still pretend that they AREN’T hiring actors for all these reality shows. They said that our friend was a “waiter from Seattle, WA”. Sure, there’s a partial truth to that. But he moved to L.A. to act. ANYWAY, our friend didn’t win but I think he was infinitely more entertaining that his opponent. He got fired by making evening plans on his cell phone every five minutes and by not memorizing the smoothie ingredients. John was FANTASTIC at being weird and annoying. In the beginning, when his trainer showed him how to make a smoothie, his trainer made scooping noises for emphasis “Bamp [scooping up the berries], Boom [putting berries in blender]”. From that point on, every time John did anything with the ladle, he would say “Bamp, Boom”. At one point, when he was “trying to remember” what went in a smoothie, he drummed loudly on the blender for a good solid MINUTE to jog his memory. Any time he got lectured by his supervisor, he would yawn really big. Those guys wanted him out of there at 10am, but they kept him on till a little after 3, thus costing him the money. I’m not sure if I’d watch the show every week if I didn’t know anyone on it, but it was still fairly entertaining.


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