his take an cruciform morals

Last night, the Troika went to a book signing by one Mr. Bruce Campbell for his new book “Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way”. We were first treated to a Q & A session wherein Bruce got really annoyed by the usual questions. He even preluded the Q & A by saying he didn’t want anyone to ask about Evil Dead 4 or Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash. Yet ask they did. Also, many questions were prefaced by “I heard a rumor that…”. “Oh, you heard a rumor? Where? On the internet? Then it MUST be true”, snarked Bruce. After a while, when someone began a question with “I heard a rumor” he would just say “Moving on”. He also went on a tirade about Hollywood drivel saying there are no new ideas and Hollywood wonders why box office sales are declining with films like “Herbie the Love Bug” (“It’s been re-made so many damned times, I’VE even been in a version.”), “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” (“Gene Wilder was funny. Johnny Depp is just WEIRD.”) and “War of the Worlds” (“I don’t care how many times Tom Cruise jumps up and down on Oprah’s couch, I’m not seeing it.”) coming out. He also cited “Batman Begins” as one of these unnecessary pictures. Disagree as I might, about the quality of that film, he does have a point. It’s certainly not a new idea. There were no juicy tidbits to be leaked to Aint It Cool. Just the man himself being himself. Fun stuff. After his Q & A, we got in line based on the numbers on our signing tickets. Thankfully, we had a relatively low number and were actually out of there shortly after 7. Dom held a “Snow Day” DVD in his hand with all of our names on it. We weren’t allowed to dilly dally. We had to have our names inscribed on a post-it before we got up there. We had to remove the book jacket. He wouldn’t pose for pictures but his assistant would take a picture of him writing in our books with us standing over him with our camera. He wouldn’t sign memorabilia. He wasn’t our little monkey. There were lots of rules and as unromantic as that is, it did keep things pretty damned organized. But we WERE allowed to give him gifts, so Dom got up there with our DVD and told him our movie was playing in the San Diego Comic-Con. I think he asked Dom some technical questions about the movie. Book signed. Picture taken. Hand shook. Moving on. Then Faye got up there and he asked her what she did. She said she made the movie that was sitting to his left. More technical questions. Book signed. Picture taken. Moving on. Then I got up there and he said to me “[Looking at post-it note] Are you Jessica?” “Yes I am.” “You’re all gussied up tonight.” “I came from work” said I. “What do you do?” “I’m an administrative assistant… glorified monkey, really. [pointing to the DVD] But I made that movie.” “Oh really? What did you do on it?” “I co-wrote and co-directed it.” “Well then, I’ll see you at the Comic-Con.” Hand shook. Book Signed. Picture taken. Moving on. The whole whirlwind took approximately an hour. The man knows how to run a show. And I thought it went rather well for what it was. Whether or not Mr. Campbell watches the movie, is another story. But he was polite and professional and accepted the movie. We didn’t expect anything more than that and were just pleased as punch to be standing in front of the guy. So yay for us.

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