NFT Radar: CrazyCherry

CrazyCherry (formerly the lawsuiterific CrazyBerry), is the frozen yogurt of the future. I admit I was skeptical at first. They have only two flavors, one of which is “plain.” The other is “green tea.” “What’s all this crapery?” I wondered. “I’m on board with the Green Tea but what kind of fascist establishment calls ‘plain’ a flavor? What are my topping options? Rice and water?” But since I’m a girl who loves her some fro yo, I decided to give it a whirl. Much to my surprise, there is nothing plain about the “plain.” It’s sweet and delicious with tangy kick. The “green tea” doesn’t disappoint either. But, as I soon learned: CrazyCherry ain’t about the flavor of the yogurt. It’s about the TOPPINGS! Their vast array is not limited to the moniker-alluded berries. They carry the traditional delights like sprinkles and oreo crumble, but they also offer unique (and magically delicious) toppings like Captain Crunch, marshmallows and mochi balls (Ha! Rice IS a topping). Once you’ve chosen a topping trifeca kick back in a smooth futuristic orange plastic chair and contemplate the white orb lights dangling from the ceiling whilst scarfing down your personalized, moderately healthy yogurt creation. The future is now.


131 Broadway E 98102
206-324-2550
www.crazy-berry.com

X-posted from Not For Tourists.

September 23, 2008
Categories: NotForTourists, Seattle . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: 2 Comments

Rockin’ Birthday Eve

My second annual 29th birthday coincided with my new life as a freelancer. The good news about my freelancing career is that so far I have had plenty of work. The bad news is that it’s a little too much work. I have been very busy and very tired and haven’t really had time to blog. So that’s why I’m just getting around to writing about my birthday party. Which was AWESOME.

Some friends, my Mister and I had been noodling around in the basement for a couple of months with instruments making something resembling a band. We played a lot of Weezer because it turns out it’s not that hard. Emily was pretty good with the rapping so we decided to put a couple of verses of “Shoop” in the middle of “Tired of Sex”. That worked out so well that I wrote some raps of my own and we put them into the middle of “Undone” and “Surf Wax America” too. The “Surf Wax” rap is based on the Patrick Swayze character in “Point Break”. We discovered that we weren’t terrible. We gave ourselves a name: The MC Superman Skivvies. And eventually, we got the bug to play in front of people. We happen to know a lot of very talented people who would be fun to share a stage with. Hence: The First Periodic Baxtle of the Bands was planned and scheduled to take place on my birthday. We somehow managed to cram 6 bands and 60-some people into our living room.

The other bands who played were:
Supercolliding Superconductor (involving the awesome Yuna on keyboard and vocals and Arsenio on lead vocals and megaphone)
3X Wogato (another cover band playing Clash, Bob Dylan, Elvis Costello and Roy Orbison)
Floppy Donkey Dick (a brother and sister rock duo)
Tough Guy Mosh (a duo of epic proportions)
Lady Drama (the incredibly talented and professional rock quartet)

The voting was done democracy-style via a ballot box. It was a realistic democracy too on account of the illegal ballot stuffing (not in our favor, by the way) and the fact that not very many people remembered to vote.

All the bands were really phenomenal so there was pretty stiff competition. Lady Drama plays a lot of gigs and all their songs are original. 3X Wogato brings years of experience to the table. But the MC Superman Skivvies won anyway. I like to think it had very little to do with the home court advantage. We recorded the whole show and I’ve uploaded our set onto our new MySpace page. You can hear people singing along and cheering during our set. I think mostly they were genuinely surprised that we were any good. We just need to keep the expectations low and we will do fine as a band. We don’t have any designs for world domination but we would like to play a couple more gigs.

I didn’t drink much before we played. Just enough to ease the nerves. But after we were done, how the bevvies flowed. By the time all the bands were done and the cake was cut, I was appropriately birthday drunk. So much so that I didn’t even recall the occurrence of the late-night jam session, much less taking part in it myself. Thank god for photographs. Now I remember the whole night like I was there. Which I was. I’m fairly certain.

Check out our set on our MySpace page and maybe become our friend! We will play another show soon! And we will have more songs ready by then too!

Also, check out the pictorial evidence of the mayhem here and here.

September 21, 2008
Categories: Dear Diary, Picture Pages, The Soundtrack . Tags: , . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

She’s All Ears

ANTM Cycle 11 continues to entertain with the makeover episode. And I was on board with almost all of the end results (I even warmed up to Elina’s transformation into Tori Amos…eventually).

But McKey’s (Mmmmkay?) never worked for me. The black hair is nice, and probably more versatile than her bright red hair but why the big chunky sideburns? All they do is accent her ears which I never noticed before but now can’t stop noticing.

mckey before mckey after

Awful. Why not a cute little chunky bob instead? This is NOT a good haircut. In panel all the judges seemed brainwashed. Nigel and Paulina were so monotone when they talked about her new look. “Oh yes, this is quite an improvement. Yes, we love it. Looooooove iiiiiit. Braaaaaains.”

My favorite part of the episode, of course, was Tyra’s wonderful little Snow White skit in which she ate the poisoned apple given to her by the evil witch Ms. J, convulsed into a coma and had to be revived by her one true gay boyfriend, MR. J. I couldn’t even believe what I was watching. Is there really so little actual drama in the house that they have to write skits to fill time? Or is Tyra just demanding more screen time because she’s such a “good” actress. She sure can play the hell out of a Makeover Fairy. That high-pitched faux British accent is DEFINITELY how real fairies sound. Give that bitch an award!

September 18, 2008
Categories: Hug Your Television . . Author: Baxter . Comments: 2 Comments

You Deserve to be Miserable

I really hate ALL of the FreeCreditReport.com commercials, but the one that especially bugs me is the “Dream Girl” one in which the guy sings that if only he’d checked his wife’s credit he’d “be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard”.

So…the only reason she was your dream girl was because you thought she could buy you a house? Why don’t you get a real job so that YOU can buy the house instead of sitting around in the basement playing your shitty songs while she does the laundry. Asshole.

September 16, 2008
Categories: Dear Diary, This is the End, YooToob . . Author: Baxter . Comments: 3 Comments

Get Apolcalyptic This Monday!

Do you like drinking, laughing and partial nudity? Don’t even act like you don’t. I know you people. And Monday, September 15th is your lucky day because the first installment of the new series of the hit variety show, Get Loweded, is coming to the Rebar! It’s hosted by Jackson Lowe, a man who looks suspiciously like Chas Roberts of Tough Guy Mosh fame. And the new series is something really special because it’s regarding something we all need to know about: The Apocalypse!

It’s a glimpse into our inevitable future in which gas is a rare and precious resource, people make dubious fashion choices and history is revisionist and cobbled together from patchy memory by a group of traveling gypsies who will steal your wallet…and your hearts. But they will leave you with entertainment and drink specials.

Featuring music, comedy, disrobing ladies, the Andy Kaufman of the future and TriviaBots.

$8 or a gallon of precious precious petroleum gets you in the door. Here’s a flier:


(Click picture for enlarged version!)

Also featuring yours truly as the Assistant Production Manager and Arsenio as the Robot!

September 13, 2008
Categories: Seattle . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

NFT Radar: The Redwood

I’m not sure what it is with hipsters and hunting themes but it seems to work. The Redwood nails Log Cabin chic with wood paneling; antler lamps and burlap animal targets abound. But unlike a Linda Dershang bar, this place skews more animal-friendly than carnivorous. Vegetarian meatloaf sandwiches, vegan chili burgers, sweet potato fries and yes, some real dead cow as well. And there’s more. You’ll only pay backwoods prices for your cocktails and they’ll throw in free peanuts to boot (go ahead and toss those shells on the floor). However, while you may feel like you’re drinking in the Appalachians, don’t forget to use your indoor voice, even when you’re outside smoking. The neighbors will call the cops on your city slicker ass. For serious.


514 E Howell St 98122
206-329-1952
www.redwoodseattle.com

X-posted from Not For Tourists.

September 12, 2008
Categories: NotForTourists, Seattle . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Klostermeme XIII: 2 Degrees of Klostermeme

Sooooo…

My friend was in a wedding this past weekend and guess who was her groomsman. I’ll give you a hint. I don’t call these posts LoggiaMemes! She left me a voicemail asking me if there was anything I wanted to ask him. Of course, at the time I was rocking too hard at the Baxttle of the Bands (more on that later) to hear my phone and for some reason said phone neglected to alert me of a new message so I didn’t hear it until today when it preceded another message. Anywhosel, I may not have gotten to crack the Kase of the Klosterman Theory by having her annoyingly ask him his real answers to all 23 of his questions he asks people to find out if he can really love them, but I can carry on with the Klostermemes and theories in this blog. And so I shall!

Chuck Klosterman IV is rife with meme fodder. The Klostermeme series features these questions, my answers, my speculations on how Klosterman would answer and an invitation to the reader to answer these questions in the comments!

alfred packerYou are in a plane crash in the Andes Mountains, not unlike those people from the movie Alive. As such, you will be forced to consume the human flesh of the people who died on impact; this will be a terrible experience, but it is the only way for you to survive. Fortunately, you did not know any of the victims personally.

Would you rather eat a dead baby, or would you rather eat a dead elderly person? Would gender play a role in the selection process? And how much would it bother you if this meat turned out to be delicious?

My answer: I may be a vegetarian, but I am fully prepared to eat meat in the event that I must do so in order to stay alive. Since I already have qualms about meat-eating, I reckon people eating wouldn’t be much more difficult for my conscience. Especially if I don’t know any of the victims and they are already dead. It doesn’t matter if it turns out to be delicious. Meat is delicious but I am bothered by it enough to refrain from eating it. So in essence, being a vegetarian for moral reasons has already mentally prepared me for this sort of situation. Hooray!

As for which meat I would prefer, I’d probably want to eat a young person or a baby. Their meat would be the healthiest and therefore tastiest (and best for you), right? Gender wouldn’t play a role but I would rather eat a nice, plump person than an anorexic.

Klosterman Theory: He would agree with me on the meat selection but he would probably have a harder time dealing if he ended up liking it, since he’s a staunch meat-eater currently.

Comment me with your answers! More information on this (non) story as it (doesn’t) develop(s)!

September 12, 2008
Categories: Meme Crazy . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: 3 Comments

Barack Obama Only Went to ONE College

How I’ve missed you, Gina Gershon. I hope she continues her comedic acting career because this video is hilarious. Tim and Eric need to give her a call ASAP.

Gina, as Sarah Palin, clears up a couple of misconceptions.

Via dlisted.

September 11, 2008
Categories: YooToob . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

NFT Radar: Blue C Sushi

It may not be the best sushi in Seattle, but it’s definitely the best conveyor belt sushi. Blue C is all about instant gratification and they have it in spades. Once seated, it won’t be but a second or two before something delicious passes before your eyes. And what variety! They got the standards like the California Roll. The salmon and eel rolls are especially competent. You can’t go wrong with any of the tempura rolls from the shrimp to the tofu. Vegetarians rejoice, because unlike most conveyor belt places, you don’t have to special order an animal-free dish. If you’re lucky, they’ll have the delectable V8 roll, stuffed with crunchy veggie tempura in an avocado blanket and doused with hot sauce. Otherwise, the plain old Kappa Maki and Inari are good enough to satisfy. Be sure to grab a potato dumpling hot plate or pickle salad to share. Save room for a cream puff but take small, easy bites lest you squirt cream filling on your date. It’s crowded around dinner time, but with no waiting for service, the turnover is quick. Enjoy a cocktail or sake in the upstairs bar while you wait.

blue c sushi
3411 Fremont Ave N 98103
206-633-3411
www.bluecsushi.com

X-posted from Not For Tourists.

September 10, 2008
Categories: NotForTourists, Seattle . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

The New Twenties Indeed

I didn’t feel as different after getting married as I do after a day of being 30. I guess one difference is that I was actually looking forward to the former. Everyone (in their thirties) says I’m gonna love my thirties, but it sure has been more difficult to look in the mirror. Hopefully it’s more due to the fact that I’m settling into new work and a new schedule than that I am now no longer in the youth market.

Now I’m gonna go unwind the adult way: by watching the new episode of 90210.

September 10, 2008
Categories: Dear Diary . . Author: Baxter . Comments: 10 Comments

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