So I just slammed my thumb in a drawer. How delightful.

Don't have much to say this morning which is probably for the best because I have to make a bunch of brochures before 3:00. This is a job which is needlessly time consuming (I say needlessly because we COULD just bring these things to kinkos and get them copied and bound), but no, I have to print them off one by one, collate them because there's some weird glich that won't allow the printer to do it manually, hole punch each page, and bind them myself. The whole process takes about 3 hours for me to make 10 books because the phone keeps ringing and people keep giving me other jobs that need to be done NOW! This is why I had previously delegated this task to the intern. But since the bitch quit with NO notice whatsoever, I am back to doing them myself. I am not pleased.

Anyway, after I finish this crap and go get my bangs trimmed I will be back with a lovely little meme you all adore so much.

My thumb is now swollen and purple. Hooray!

July 21, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

1. Your name spelled backwards.
Acissej. Or Ssej for short.

2. Where were your parents born?
Da: Rochester, NY. Mum: Somewheres, Maryland

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Some guy's screenplay that I have to edit.

4. What's your favorite restaurant?
I like too many different foods to say for sure but some favorites include: Annapurna, that Pho place on Broadway, Golden Singha, Roti, and new favorite Queen Sheba.

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
When I first moved into my last apartment.

6. Have you ever been in a school play?
I was in Alice In Wonderland in 6th grade. I wore an adorable duck suit.

7. How many kids do you want?
As few as possible.

8. Type of music you dislike most?
Modern Country.

9.Are you registered to vote?
AbsolFUCKINGlutely.

10. Do you have cable?
AbsoFUCKINGlutely.

11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?
No. But I did ride on the back of a honda bike once.

12. Ever prank call anybody?
In middle school. Lame.

13. Ever get a parking ticket?
Yes. I live in Capital Hill and I had a car. It's impossible not too. Goddamned parking facists.

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Maybe if I was drunk…

15. Furthest place you ever traveled.
Prague.

16. Do you have a garden?
There are a few house plants. If I put them outside, would that be a garden?

17. What's your favorite comic strip?
Outland/Bloom County

18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
Doesn't every American? It's ingrained into our little heads from Kindergarden on. I think a better question would be “Do you know funny alternative words to the national anthem?”

19. Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Shower morning.

20. Best movie you've seen in the past month?
“Abre Los Ohos”

21. Favorite pizza topping?
This one's been done. Pineapple, mushrooms and jalapenos.

22. Chips or popcorn?
Depends, but I crave popcorn more often.

23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
Cheap and slutty.

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
Do people do that? I tried smoking banana peels (in between meals) and catnip.

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
hahahahahaha

26. Orange Juice or apple?
I like both. Sue me. I mean it.

27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
I went to the Canterbury with Faye. We'd only been there once before and didn't like it. It was probably the company then because this time it was AWESOME! They have Strongbow on tap and breakfast all day!

28. Favorite type chocolate bar?
I…don't…know! Why do you keep asking me about food?!

29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?
I vote every time I can, but it's always by absentee because I'm lazy.

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
I have NO idea.

31. Have you ever won a trophy?
No. There aren't many sports leagues for gimps and my IQ is too high to be in the Special olympics.

32. Are you a good cook?
Yes but I'm lazy.

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
Put the thing in the hole!

34. Ever order an article from an infomercial?
YES!!! My ab slide (used it every day since, for 4 years), the Sounds of The 80's collection from Time Life (rules!), the Handistitch (broke after one use) and I'm THIS close to ordering the goddamned Magic Bullet. “Dinnah is such a production!”.

35. Sprite or 7-up?
Sprite.

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
University of Puget Sound Dining Services.

37. Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
Everything. Mostly stockings.

38. Ever throw up in public?
Yes, but I had just had knee surgery and was reacting badly to the anesthesia so I think it was justified.

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
Aw…can't I have both?!

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, but I do believe in crazy monkey sex desire at first site!

41. Ever call a 1-900 number?
Only the 800 numbers that look like free porn until they say “To hear more from Tabby, please enter your credit card number now”.

42. Can ex's be friends?
Yes!

43. Have you ever been admitted into a hostpital? When?
Surgery surgery surgery.

44. Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
Not a LOT but a lot for a baby.

45. What message is on your answering machine?
Boring.

46. What's your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character?
Time Travellin' Scott Joplin.

47. What was the name of your first pet?
Cinderella. I was 4.

48. What is in your purse?
It's a satchel. Um…book, book of puzzels, pens, chapstick, compact, suncreen/bug repellant, keys, cell phone, day planner, plethora of pharmaceuticals, sunglasses, eyeglasses. I like to be prepared.

49. Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
Monkey sex.

50. What is one thing you are grateful for today?
That I'm not pregnant.

July 20, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says.
“Every conversation I had was with people mumbling something as they blew past me in the hallway”.

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
My old clock radio playing “I don't wanna work, I just wanna bang on the drum all day”. Amen to that!

What is the last thing you watched on TV?
“I love the 90's”, I think. It's too soon!

WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what time it is.
4:01

Now look at the clock; what is the actual time?
3:58. Is this fair? I look at the clock all the time anyway, so I could never be too far off.

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The radio, my co-workers having a meeting and my boss getting excited about mundane things, traffic outside. Boring boring boring.

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
About half an hour ago. I went to pick up some tranparencies from Kinkos for my boss and then I snuck on over to Bartell because I'm addicted to shopping at drug stores.

Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
My email for the bazillionth time.

What are you wearing?
Why? Do you want to fuck me? I'll tell you one thing. It's not black!!!

Did you dream last night?
Don't remember, but I'm sure it was either sexual or disturbing or both.

When did you last laugh?
When Faye said “Tell me more about your swollen glands”.

What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Boring office artwork.

Seen anything weird lately?
I saw this retarded asian guy of undetermined age wearing a blue and white checkered jumpsuit and a fanny pack as I walked to work this morning. He had a big gash on his forehead as well. Is that weird or just sad?

What is the last film you saw?
“Igby Goes Down”. Sadly, it wasn't gay porn. If it has been, it probably would have helped. Kieran is by far the hottest Culkin though.

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
A house on Capitol Hill with a yard so that I can live there forever and Dom can get a dog.

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Get rid of all the hate. I sound like a damned hippie, but it's true. If GW didn't hate, he wouldn't have been able to fuck things up so badly. I don't understand what they mean by “regardless of guilt or politics” so I might have answered this question incorrectly.

Do you like to dance?
Yes, but I look a fool when I do it. Bring on the booze!

July 19, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

1. Who do you admire the most and why?
I admire lots of different people for lots of different reasons. But one person who comes to mind is my friend Kristie who joined the Peace Corpse and was stationed in Uzbekistan where she was pelted with rocks every day by men who called her a whore, and then she got a stomach parasite and lost 20 pounds (she was very thin to begin with) and she still didn't leave until her village was invaded and evacuated.

2. What would you have as your last meal if you were on death row?
I would say Daal, Garlic Naan and papadums. But it's so hard to find good curry in America that I would be afraid that it would be a waste of a last meal. So maybe just the classic pasta with tomato sauce and garlic bread. That's pretty hard to screw up and always delcious. Especially if the sauce has a loaded gun in it with which I can break out of prison and go on the lam. I'm INNOCENT, I tell you!

3. What is your earliest memory?
It's either watching The Dark Crystal in the theatre or sitting on the front steps of my house in Oregon with my brother. I don't know which came first.

4. If you had 3 wishes, what would your 3rd wish be?
My third wish? Why my third wish? Whatever. Probably for my brother to have a normal life. He pretty much got shat on by a vengeful god.

5. If you had to be blind or deaf, which would you choose?
I'm already losing both and so far the vision is more troublesome. So I'm gonna go with that. Besides, if I were deaf, I would never have to hear another Creed song as long as I lived, so that's gotta be a blessing in disguise.

6. Have you ever been dared to do something where the risk exceeded the reward (ie. jump off a building for a penny)?
I'm not one for doing things that endanger my own life. Especially not for a penny. I'll leave that stuff to the Jackass guys.

7. If you had a superpower, which superpower would it be and why?
I've ALWAYS wanted to be able to stop time like that girl from “Out of This World”. And then I could sleep in every day and still make it to work on time.

8. What is your favourite vegetable?
Can't really go wrong with red peppers.

9. In how many different languages do you know the meaning of at least one word?
Do items on a menu count? Cos that would increase the number. Before menus: 11
After menus: 13

10. What did you want to be when you were a child?
A boy.

11. What one event (if any) would you change in your personal past if you had the power to do it once? Can't think of one specific turning point that I would have changed but I might have told my 7-year-old self to take it easy on the knees.

12. What’s the one question you want to be asked of you in an interview?
Is $500,000 enough for a starting salary?

13. Have you ever cheated death?
Apparently during my first knee surgery, they had a hard time waking me up from general anesthesia. But I obviously don't remember that so it wasn't that scary.

14. What was the most important decision you’ve ever had to make?
Deciding where to go to college. It didn't seem THAT important at the time, but my life would be 100% different if I'd gone to Emerson in Boston instead of UPS in Tacoma.

15. Which sports team do you support the most, and why?
The one with your mom on it.

16. Mobile phones (cellphones) – evil or good?
Both. That's kind of a dumb question to end this meme on. So I'll add one.

Bonus: What movie do they show 24-7 in your own personal hell?
Moulin Rouge.

July 15, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment