Ahe wanted me to post a new entry so that she didn't have to look at my monkey face anymore. (Even though Elyse says I make a cute monkey. Thank you, Elyse. Well, anyway, this picture is my current desktop background for my home p.c. and it makes me laugh EVERY TIME. I retract my earlier statement about babies having no character.
The best part about this picture is that I think the parent created the caption. It makes me want to have any angry baby some day…
WEEKEND RECAP
Friday
I went with Faye and Elyse to see the show that Dom is in right now. It’s a musical called “Ragtime”. I know a lot of my gentle readers are familiar with musical theatre in general, but for those of you who aren’t, “Ragtime” is THE whitest musical about black music perhaps ever. It’s as if someone set out to make a classical opera about Rock and Roll and didn’t put one single NOTE of guitar in there. It also could have been easily re-named “Sterotype-time” because that’s how it felt. The Jewish immigrant character sang about money all the time and actually “made-it” by becoming a Hollywood director. The main characters were a black couple and their story would have been pretty moving had it just been THEIR story. But they had to share it with the Jewish stereotype, his mute daughter who inexplicably wore a hackey-sack on her head, and the white family with the prejudice father, the long-suffering mother and the radical son. Along the way we also met some “characters” based on real historical figures like J.P. Morgan and Harry Houdini, the latter of whom was played by Dom. Houdini’s lines were such transparent metaphors that he ACTUALLY said something akin to “I am also am immigrant and look at how famous I am. You can break your chains of oppression like I did.”. (And seriously, I was paraphrasing the line, but it was phrased that blatantly). Of course, none of this is the fault of the cast. The actors were great. The singing was good. I just don’t understand why, in this day and age, especially in a city like Seattle, why anyone would feel the need to put this show on. There are no “lessons” in there for us to learn that we don’t already know. And it certainly wasn’t to celebrate the music of “ragtime” because there was NO GODDAMN RAGTIME IN IT. So what’s the point? Well, the audience was 95% geriatric so that might answer my question for me.
We were grateful that we packed out vodka and cokes. During intermission, the three of us hid behind a tree to pass the bottle around and we were lucky enough to witness something glorious. Across the field, in the darkness, we saw a cop car pull in flashing it’s lights. They said something over the loudspeaker and then, all of a sudden, the darkness lit up with the headlights of over 50 cars. All the cars sped off as fast as they could. One car stayed behind, taking one for the team. Awesome! A high school kegger got busted! I was a loser in high school and never got invited to those parties so I didn’t even know that really happened outside of the movies. But apparently it does. Dom said that from backstage, they could see even better and saw some kids running off into the woods. Hilarious!
Saturday
Tobe had to go to the vet for a checkup and his annual shot. He was in and out of there pretty quickly though and nothing seems to bother him much.
I had a few hours to kill so I took a nap whilst attempting to watch a Robert Altman movie. Then Faye and I went to a friend’s birthday BBQ at Golden Gardens. I’d never been there for a BBQ before and Faye and I found it a little strange. It’s SO crowded. We kind of felt like we were crashing some huge party. But I wonder if everyone there feels like they’re crashing someone else’s party. Right next to us, a guy showed some people his fire-vomiting trick which involved putting lighter fluid in his mouth. That doesn’t seem too smart too me. Seems like it would work just as well to use something edible like Bacardi 151. But the dude vomited fire so who am I to question his lifestyle choices?
I also happened to witness a totally surreal, sad and hilarious moment in American life. A HUGELY overweight woman wearing a mumu was walking down the path with her slightly less overweight friend and a little girl. The mumu lady was carrying an unopened bag of cheetos. Suddenly, she stopped and opened the bag. She actually had to STOP WALKING to open the bag of Cheetos. She ate a handful and then handed the bag to the little girl and they continued walking. It was the kind of scene that would have made Bill Hicks cry.
Later that night, Faye and I were at a loss as to what to do. We wanted to do something “new” but couldn’t think of anything. We rounded up Sherrard and headed out in search of a bar that we’ve never been too. Instead, we went to the Honey Hole. On my FIRST DRINK, I gesticulated a little too wildly about god-knows what and spilled the damned thing all over myself. The waiter was nice though and actually brought me a new one free. I was so impressed with his service that in addition to the 20+% tip, we also left him a Jonathan Knight sticker that I had earlier acquired from Archie McPhee’s. That’s what you get for good service from me.
Sunday
I spent most of the day being a lump of crap. I skipped yoga and then felt guilty about it so I tried to do it at my house. I think I may have fucked up my neck as a result. Then Dom and I got thai food and watched Pootie Tang which was pretty damned funny. I’m surprised I haven’t seen it until now. It was written and directed by Louis C.K. who is a great comedian with a pretty entertaining website. I particularly like the “Bad Jokes” section. My personal favorite?
Q: What do you call the female child of the woman who helps you while you're pregnant? Also the woman is from Boston and the child is sort of oddly tall shaped.
A: My doula's oblong daughtah.
Ba-dum-ch.
I am supposed to be working on this stupid crap called cost basis. I won't bore you with a description of what that entails. I'll just say that it's math and it makes my head hurt. Since I have to ask The Lil'est Dictator for help with it, I'm putting it off till after lunch and updating my LJ now. Fuck you, cost basis.
Last night, Faye and I enjoyed a very special episode of the O.C. and an even MORE special bottle and a half of wine. I love Thursday nights.
**SPOILERS HEREIN***
Special guest star George Lucas's goiter was looking particularly lively as he delivered his lines like a robot. Chris Martin annoyed the crap out of us with him sad bastardly warbling as Marissa and Ryan danced in the moonlight, suspicion-free. Summer achieved her episode-long dream of becoming prom queen with her prom jester by her side as the funniest extras in television delivered their unappreciated “ad libs”. Shaun of the Dead officially became mainstream enough to be mentioned on a ridiculously popular hour-long drama. Sadly, there was no mention of another little movie that it supposedly inspired. Caleb's heart melted for the love of a mermaid and then stopped working seconds later, and the episode ended in a surprisingly moving way with Kirstin fucking off to be alone with her bottle of “pure” vodka.
***End Spoilers***
Well, after that, there was naught to do but write a screenplay for an “inspirational” short film called “Retard to Retard” wherein Faye plays not one but TWO “developmentally disabled” persons being brave and heartwarming in a world that was not made for them. We hope to shoot it soon. But first, Faye must prepare for her most traumatic role to date. Look for Faye on Inside the Actor's studio in the coming months, scratching her butt with her Oscar.
God, I miss Tru Calling.
I would like to snap this woman over my knee like a twig. After I punch her in her pouty, evil mouth.
Of course I'm just talking about her CHARACTER on Lost. I know the difference between TV and real life. Really, I do.
I am COMPLETELY shocked by only having a 37% chance of going to hell. Also, did that quiz just call me fat?
Your Deadly Sins |
| Gluttony: 60% |
| Lust: 60% |
| Envy: 40% |
| Sloth: 40% |
| Greed: 20% |
| Pride: 20% |
| Wrath: 20% |
| Chance You'll Go to Hell: 37% |
| You'll die from food poisoning – and then the natives will feast on your fatty limbs. |
Last night’s Murder City Devils DVD release party was the most fun I’ve had on a Tuesday in a while. I was already buzzed when I got there because I came from the Women In Film tour of Modern Digital and they had free wine. I am INCAPABLE of passing up free booze. I’m seriously. It’s like my goddamned kryptonite.
ANYWAY, I was late getting to the Croc and felt like an asshole because apparently Sherrard was harassed by paparazzi while he waited for me. We went in and found Ryan and Adam who were already well on their way to Drunky Town. Ryan was kind enough to bring Sherrard and me a menu AND some drinks. We ate some food and drank some water (which I credit for the reason I’m not incapacitatingly hung-over today). Then the DVD screening started and I was immediately sucked through a portal back in time to Halloween 2002. It was amazing. I was actually at the show but was in the bar in the back being surly so I didn’t experience the full extend of the raw energy that was pulsing through the crowd that night. But the video TOTALLY captures it. It’s mostly hand-held shots and one of the cameras is in the crowd so you really feel like you’re there watching the stuff of legends being woven. It was enhanced by the way in which the movie was shown: on a screen on the stage behind the gear of the band that was scheduled to play afterwards. It was really quite trippy. Sherrard commented on the significance of having this footage because most of the influential rock bands of the past don’t really have that much archival footage available. There’s not that much for The Clash or the Pistols and the sound and picture quality is usually really awful. In this case, The Murder City Devils WILL be an influential band for future generations and they will have this wonderful DVD with great picture and sound quality to look back on. Hooray for Ryan and Adam who have done their part for the history of rock and roll.
I got home around midnight. Fueled by drink and rock I couldn’t sleep and so instead I stayed up till 1 in the morning writing Friendster testimonials for people. Yeah, I don’t know either.
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What Your Dreams Mean… |
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Your dreams seem to show that you're a bit disturbed… but nothing serious. You may have a problem you're trying to work out in your sleep. Your dreams tend to reflect your insecurities. Your dreams indicate that you have very conflicted feelings. You have a very vivid imagination and a rich creative mind. |
So “Snow Day, Bloody Snow Day” got its first review yesterday. It's actually quite rave. Of course, there's the “Shaun of the Dead” comparison that I reckon will follow us to the ends of the earth (even though we wrote the movie a good 8 months before we even HEARD about SOTD). I'm especially curious as to which character the guy thought was “exactly like Shaun”. But I'm not going to argue with a review like that. So yay for us. As Faye said, it will be a good cushion for us for when we get the inevitable bad review.
In other news, I have quite the exciting Tuesday night planned. I'm going to tour Modern Digital with Dom and the Women in Film group and after I'm going to the Murder City Devils final show DVD release party. My friends Ryan and Adam made this DVD so it's a pretty big deal for them. The Stranger was supposed to review it last week but they didn't, which is surprising (because the Murder City Devils are hometown heroes) and not surprising (because the Stranger are wankers) at the same time.
Now I just need to keep pounding the caffeine today so that my old bones can stay up that late. And work. I really should do some work…
WEEKEND RECAP
Friday
Faye, Borgia, BennDunn, Erik and I met at the Wok and Grill which used to be a nice quiet place to get a drink and a good meal on a Friday night. We reveled in their cheesy New Wave/80’s hits juke box selection. Those days may well be over. Around 9:00, a DJ showed up and started playing The Smiths. While I count myself a person who generally enjoys the Smiths, I do not enjoy them on a Friday night when I am trying to stay awake and upbeat. We decided to leave at the end of our round and find refuge elsewhere. We lost (Erik) one but gained 3 (Sherrard, Dan and friend, a lovely girl called Marie) and set ourselves up at Bill’s Off Broadway where the music selection was decidedly more party-like. A few pitchers later, we were happily drunk enough and ready for bed. BennDunn crashed on my couch. He was kept warm by the thoughtful Tobe who volunteered himself as a blanket. What a considerate cat.
Saturday
This was probably the first Saturday in recent memory that I didn’t have ANY commitments or work to do. Nothing. Bliss. Dom and I ate breakfast at Julia’s (delicious French toast but lackluster potatoes). Then we went to get some afternoon movies. We rented a “short” film (40 minutes) called “Being Ron Jeremy”. It was a parody of “Being John Malkovich” which was saved ENTIRELY by the participation of the titular actor. It was written/directed and starring a lanky, pale Jewish man who bares a striking resemblance to Matt Stone. This guy apparently went to film school in New York and is slightly younger than me and I was immediately jealous of his having been able to get Ron Jeremy to be in his movie. Most of the jokes are pretty obvious and cliché, but The Hedgehog is always so enjoyable to watch that I forgave the cheesy dialogue.
Note to filmmakers: There is almost NEVER any reason why a short film should be longer than 20 minutes. 40 minutes isn't short. But thank you for cutting out the scene where you, the nerdy lead actor/writer/director are in a hot tub with 2 porn stars. We all know why you wrote it. You were wise to save it for the deleted scenes.
After Dom left for his show, I watched the other movie I’d rented. I have been trying to get people to rent Saw with me since it came out on video but to no avail so I realized I would have to watch it on my own. The downside to this is that there was no one there to wake me up after I fell asleep halfway through. Is that a testament to how dumb the movie was or to how run down I have been lately? The world may never know… (My money is on a combination of the two).
Sunday
I was stricken with a sudden shame over how horrifically messy the apartment was. Seriously. Dom and I are disgusting. Why this only bothers me once every couple of months is beyond me. I decided that as soon as I came back from yoga, we would clean. And clean we did. It really wasn’t so bad and now I feel so much better about my living space that I wonder why I waited so long. Of course, we’ll see how long this attitude lasts. I’m sure I’ll be back in the same lazy headspace in no time.
As usual, they don't give you enough options for certain questions. But here we are anyway.
Your Political Profile |
| Overall: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal |
| Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal |
| Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal |
| Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal |
| Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal |
| Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal |
Effed by the Wind 