WEEKEND RECAP
Friday
I went with Faye and Elyse to see the show that Dom is in right now. It’s a musical called “Ragtime”. I know a lot of my gentle readers are familiar with musical theatre in general, but for those of you who aren’t, “Ragtime” is THE whitest musical about black music perhaps ever. It’s as if someone set out to make a classical opera about Rock and Roll and didn’t put one single NOTE of guitar in there. It also could have been easily re-named “Sterotype-time” because that’s how it felt. The Jewish immigrant character sang about money all the time and actually “made-it” by becoming a Hollywood director. The main characters were a black couple and their story would have been pretty moving had it just been THEIR story. But they had to share it with the Jewish stereotype, his mute daughter who inexplicably wore a hackey-sack on her head, and the white family with the prejudice father, the long-suffering mother and the radical son. Along the way we also met some “characters” based on real historical figures like J.P. Morgan and Harry Houdini, the latter of whom was played by Dom. Houdini’s lines were such transparent metaphors that he ACTUALLY said something akin to “I am also am immigrant and look at how famous I am. You can break your chains of oppression like I did.”. (And seriously, I was paraphrasing the line, but it was phrased that blatantly). Of course, none of this is the fault of the cast. The actors were great. The singing was good. I just don’t understand why, in this day and age, especially in a city like Seattle, why anyone would feel the need to put this show on. There are no “lessons” in there for us to learn that we don’t already know. And it certainly wasn’t to celebrate the music of “ragtime” because there was NO GODDAMN RAGTIME IN IT. So what’s the point? Well, the audience was 95% geriatric so that might answer my question for me.
We were grateful that we packed out vodka and cokes. During intermission, the three of us hid behind a tree to pass the bottle around and we were lucky enough to witness something glorious. Across the field, in the darkness, we saw a cop car pull in flashing it’s lights. They said something over the loudspeaker and then, all of a sudden, the darkness lit up with the headlights of over 50 cars. All the cars sped off as fast as they could. One car stayed behind, taking one for the team. Awesome! A high school kegger got busted! I was a loser in high school and never got invited to those parties so I didn’t even know that really happened outside of the movies. But apparently it does. Dom said that from backstage, they could see even better and saw some kids running off into the woods. Hilarious!
Saturday
Tobe had to go to the vet for a checkup and his annual shot. He was in and out of there pretty quickly though and nothing seems to bother him much.
I had a few hours to kill so I took a nap whilst attempting to watch a Robert Altman movie. Then Faye and I went to a friend’s birthday BBQ at Golden Gardens. I’d never been there for a BBQ before and Faye and I found it a little strange. It’s SO crowded. We kind of felt like we were crashing some huge party. But I wonder if everyone there feels like they’re crashing someone else’s party. Right next to us, a guy showed some people his fire-vomiting trick which involved putting lighter fluid in his mouth. That doesn’t seem too smart too me. Seems like it would work just as well to use something edible like Bacardi 151. But the dude vomited fire so who am I to question his lifestyle choices?
I also happened to witness a totally surreal, sad and hilarious moment in American life. A HUGELY overweight woman wearing a mumu was walking down the path with her slightly less overweight friend and a little girl. The mumu lady was carrying an unopened bag of cheetos. Suddenly, she stopped and opened the bag. She actually had to STOP WALKING to open the bag of Cheetos. She ate a handful and then handed the bag to the little girl and they continued walking. It was the kind of scene that would have made Bill Hicks cry.
Later that night, Faye and I were at a loss as to what to do. We wanted to do something “new” but couldn’t think of anything. We rounded up Sherrard and headed out in search of a bar that we’ve never been too. Instead, we went to the Honey Hole. On my FIRST DRINK, I gesticulated a little too wildly about god-knows what and spilled the damned thing all over myself. The waiter was nice though and actually brought me a new one free. I was so impressed with his service that in addition to the 20+% tip, we also left him a Jonathan Knight sticker that I had earlier acquired from Archie McPhee’s. That’s what you get for good service from me.
Sunday
I spent most of the day being a lump of crap. I skipped yoga and then felt guilty about it so I tried to do it at my house. I think I may have fucked up my neck as a result. Then Dom and I got thai food and watched Pootie Tang which was pretty damned funny. I’m surprised I haven’t seen it until now. It was written and directed by Louis C.K. who is a great comedian with a pretty entertaining website. I particularly like the “Bad Jokes” section. My personal favorite?
Q: What do you call the female child of the woman who helps you while you're pregnant? Also the woman is from Boston and the child is sort of oddly tall shaped.
A: My doula's oblong daughtah.
Ba-dum-ch.
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