Oh honey. Do you really still think you can “win” this thing by not being slutty? You seemed to have a good shot because you’re the only one who legitimately enjoys his shitty songs.
Don’t you see? Winning Bret’s “heart” is easy. Don’t drink too much (in front of Bret) and give it up whenever possible. In fact, Ashley seems to be the only one who understands this. That is why she is going to win. PLEASE have a penis (or at least a manufactured vagina), Ashley. Pleasepleaseplease.
Christopher Eccleston is the third actor to play the ninth Doctor, and his ninth Doctor is the third version of the character. Rowan Atkinson played the ninth Doctor in the 1999 BBC Comic Relief charity spoof _Comic Relief: Doctor Who and the Curse of Fatal Death (1999) (V)_. Five years later, Richard E. Grant voiced a different ninth Doctor in the BBC web animation _”Doctor Who: Scream of the Shalka” (2003) (mini)_. Only Eccleston’s ninth Doctor is “canon”, or official.
What’s more, I agree with this statement.
At long last! Synchronize credit cards!
Those interstitial promos featuring Dushku and Glau sexing it up for the camera, their heads in CONSTANT motion, are pretty irritating. Dushku is a little too good at the Tabula Rasa look. But she’s come a long way since Tru Calling and so far I think the show is pretty good. The supporting cast (particularly Harry Lenix and Tahmoh Penikett) really puts a nice shade of lipstick on that hot little proverbial pig. Provided they are allowed to stop over-explaining things to the Fox audience, there is a lot that they can do with those characters.
QUESTION: Why not Jonathan M. Woodward as the evil nerdy scientist? Didn’t he corner the market on that role? He isn’t busy. I would have loved to see him and Amy Acker together again. I feel there was a real missed opportunity there. This Fran Kranz person is a little too Mutant X for my taste. And Topher? His name is Topher? Does every Whedon show have to have a middle-of-the-name nicknamed character? I know there’s a precedent for “Topher” but it still seems a little forced to me.
Otherwise I’ve enjoyed the first two episodes immensely. It’s a nice fluff break from the heavy OMFGness of Battlestar Galactica. But once BSG ends, I hope Dollhouse is allowed to shed a bit of the fluff and gain some muscle.
Suck it, Lost. Battlestar Galactica really knows how to EXPLAIN things. And even though I’m pretty sure they made some of this up later on in the series, it all fits together really nicely. I feel like we’re finally back in Season 2 quality territory. Continue reading
Dear Battlestar Galactica Writers, Continue reading
At least, according to Ashley on Rock of Love Bus, they do. But I don’t think she was referring to normal adults. She only meant drunk, cartoonish trannies who have made it their life’s goal to follow Bret Michaels around on a bus. Ashley was the first person given a pass this week. Beverly was given the old “bottom 3 warning” for drunkenly kissing Bret’s kind of cute, nameless drummer. (Does anyone know that guy’s name? Bret even referred to him as “my drummer”.)
Bret is only keeping Beverly around because she knows all the words to his shitty songs. She doesn’t have a chance in hell of winning on account of her tendency, even under the influence of alcohol, to make normal human decisions (apart from her decision to leave her 3 (three!!) children to try and date Bret Michaels).
My Mister is convinced that this season of ROLB is brought to you by Ashton Kutcher. In the final episode, he will choose one of the 2 trannies to “rock his world”. And then whichever one it is will pull out their penis and Ashton will come around the corner laughing. At least I hope this is what happens. Because if this show is actually for real, WE ARE ALL DOOMED.
Goodbye, Marcia! We will miss your bruised, tequila infused, Brazilian ass.
Last night on Rock of Love Bus, after discovering which of his potential true loves would be the most nurturing mother by having them use a baby doll in a bandanna into a hockey goal, Bret took the winners on a very romantic date. Where is the most romantic place Bret Michaels can think of to take a date? To the strip club, of course! Now, strip clubs can be a very sexy date destination and can spice up your love life. But normally couples just watch strippers together. Bret is a different class of gentleman. He doesn’t want to look at other strippers. He only wants to look at his beautiful date(s). So how does he tell them he thinks they are the most beautiful women in the room? He makes them BECOME the strippers.
Now, for some of these ladies, this was NOT a problem. They have plenty of experience in the Skank profession. But poor “tom boy” (so-called because she likes to wear actual clothes) Beverly didn’t feel comfortable getting friendly with the stripper pole and swapping bodily fluids with whatever was closest.
Beverly! Honey! What is WRONG with you? How can you ever expect a man to know you’re interested if you don’t slut it up for him on a stripper stage? She made the cut this time, but she really needs to step it up, lest he think she’s here for “the wrong reasons”.
What was I just saying?. Apparently one of the Rock of Slut buses was in an accident, resulting in the fatalities of 2 teenage girls and the serious injuries of an elderly couple. I think we all now know what continuing to shoot and air this show will bring…
…Ragnarök.
You may wonder why there were so many commercials for Herpecin during Rock of Love Bus. It is because you can contract herpes by simply WATCHING Rock of Love Bus. If you watched an episode in its entirety, chances are you now have eye herpes.
That completely insane extra draggy version of Daisy who had to be escorted off the set at the end of the pilot, now lives behind the studio dumpster and haunts the dreams of aspiring actresses who just moved to Hollywood from Deep River, Ontario.
When the final episode of Rock of Love Bus airs, it will open a portal to hell. Only Dean and Sam Winchester can stop this from happening.
Effed by the Wind 
