Confidential to Beverly RockofLoveBus

Oh honey. Do you really still think you can “win” this thing by not being slutty? You seemed to have a good shot because you’re the only one who legitimately enjoys his shitty songs.

Don’t you see? Winning Bret’s “heart” is easy. Don’t drink too much (in front of Bret) and give it up whenever possible. In fact, Ashley seems to be the only one who understands this. That is why she is going to win. PLEASE have a penis (or at least a manufactured vagina), Ashley. Pleasepleaseplease.

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