NFT Radar: Vegetarian Bistro

I may be veggie, but I love Dim Sum. I’m always game to visit traditional places with friends and gorge on dessert or receive derisive laughs from cart ladies when I ask if something has meat in it. But at Vegetarian Bistro, the veggie is king. They have all the Dim Sum favorites like Hum Bun, Shu Mai and dumplings, as well as Chinese classics like Won Ton Soup and General Tso’s Chicken. And you can order it all no questions asked. Faux-flesh connoisseurs will delight in their house recipe. The General Tso’s is crispy and tender, its deliciousness agreed-upon by all dietary persuasions. If fake meat isn’t your thing, there are plenty of straight-up vegetable dishes perfectly sauced and ready to sit in your gut for the next 4-6 hours. The only people who won’t be happy here are the needlessly picky and the gluten-allergic. Save room for dessert! The egg custard pies are warm and fresh. The Pumpkin Cakes are almost too cute to eat… almost. The only thing missing (besides the meat) are the carts. Everything comes straight from the kitchen. Rest assured, they’ll still pressure you into ordering more food than you can eat.

668 S King St 98104

X-posted from Not For Tourists.

BSG’s “Astonishing Revelations”

Today, starts their 10 part webisode series which will lead up to the final season of Battlestar Galactica. I was extremely pleased to learn that they revolve around one of my favorite characters, Gaeta. Well, they deliver those aforepromised “astonishing revelations” in spades. SPOILERS, ya’ll. Continue reading

Bye Bye Bettie

Bettie Page, the woman who launched 1000 bangs and defined the pinup girl, has died. As you might have guessed, we’re big fans of Bettie at my house and very sad to hear of her passing. Recently someone asked if we’d heard the news…that Bettie Page was still alive. It’s true that she hasn’t been in the media much since she quit modeling. We forget that in the old days, when a supermodel retired, that was it. They dropped out of the public eye and returned to normal lives. Nowadays she probably would have had a recording contract and a reality show and/or talk show to help drive her career into the ground. Instead, her iconic and untainted visage was burned into the collective consciousness forever.

It was tarnished only slightly, 3 years ago, when Mary Harron made that corny biopic. It was then that I first saw a picture of Octogenarian Bettie. She was still gorgeous (and still had her signature hair). Now that she’s gone, I hope someone is inspired to make a decent celluloid tribute to her life. But we’ll always have those amazing pictures…and Rockabilly chicks, to remember her by.

Klostermeme XIV

Chuck Klosterman IV is rife with meme fodder. The Klostermeme series features these questions, my answers, my speculations on how Klosterman would answer and an invitation to the reader to answer these questions in the comments!

While traveling on business, your spouse (whom you love) is involved in a plane crash over the Pacific Ocean. It is assumed that everyone on board has died. For the next 7 months, you quietly mourn. But then the unbelievable happens: it turns out your spouse has survived. He/she managed to swim to a desert island, where he/she lived in relative comfort with one other survivor (the miraculously located most of the aircraft’s supplies on the beach, and the island itself was filled with ample food sources). Against all odds, they have just been discovered by a Fijan fishing boat.

The 2 survivors return home via helicopter, greeted by the public as media sensations. Immediately upon their arrival, there is an international press conference. And during this press conference, you cannot help but notice how sexy the other survivor is; physically, he/she perfectly embodied the type of person your mate is normally attracted to. Moreover, the intensity of the event has clearly galvanized a relationship between the 2 crash victims: they spend most of the interview explaining how they could not have survived without the other person’s presence. They explain how they passed the time by telling anecdotes from their respective lives, and both admit to having given up on the possibility for rescue. At the end of the press conference, the 2 survivors share a tearful goodbye hug. It’s extremely emotional.

After the press conference, you are finally reunited with your spouse. He/she embraces you warmly and kisses you deeply.

How long do you wait before asking if he/she was ever unfaithful to you on this island? Do you never ask? And if your mate’s answer is “yes”, would that (under these circumstances) be acceptable?

My Answer:My original answer was a bit different. And then Elyse alerted me to the fact that it is seven MONTHS, not years. For the record, I typed out all these questions months ago and saved them as drafts. It probably doesn’t excuse the fact that I am lousy at attention to detail. So here’s my updated answer: I’d wait as long as I could but I’m sure I’d be bursting at the seams about it. I would be very happy that my husband was alive returned to me. But given the fact that I sometimes get jealous at the thought of EX girlfriends, I’m sure their “special relationship” would be on my mind constantly. If the answer is yes, I would probably forgive eventually. Everyone, including me, thought he was a goner. But I’m sure I would find it impossible to be in the same room with his island buddy and it would take me quite a bit of time to get over it.

Klosterman Theory: Months or years, I think his answer would be the same. He would ask within 5 minutes of their reunion.

NFT Radar: Mighty O Donuts

I was never really a donut person. I could easily forgo the greasy gut bombs on the board meeting snack tray in lieu of a nice bagel and some shmear. I never boarded the Krispy Kreme Krazy Train. I honestly thought donuts were kind of gross. And then I had a Mighty O. Now, I’m not vegan. Butter and cream marry with sugar just fine and can live harmoniously in my stomach. But apparently, you don’t need ’em. One bite of those cakey, frosted treats and I was in love. And what variety! The usual suspects like sprinkles and nuts sit alongside new classics like French Toast and Lemon Poppy. But their seasonal specials are where they excel. Fall brings Pumpkin and Apple Spice! Other seasons feature Ginger Raspberry, Strawberry Shortcake and Grasshopper (it’s chocolate-mint, silly). What goes better with donuts than coffee? They’ve got that too. And its really, really good. Unfortunately, just because it’s vegan doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Whatever you do, don’t look at the nutrition information on their website. It will utterly destroy the fantasy.

2110 N 55th St 98103

X-posted from Not For Tourists.

Stop Punishing Us!

Today the third attempt at a Punisher film is being released. That film is Punisher: War Zone and it’s getting atrocious reviews. I’m not terribly surprised. I’ve been following the progress of this film for quite some time. Though it showed early promise (new, grizzled Frank Castle; female director who acknowledged the flaws of the Tom Jane version) reports began to surface that things were not going well. I heard some rumors that the director wanted her name off the thing after she was stripped of creative control in the editing room. These things did not bode well but I still held out naive hope that they would perhaps accidentally make something good. After all, how hard can it be? Any of Garth Ennis’ books could be used as a storyboard for a decent Punisher film. Change nothing and you’ll win.

To see it or not to see it. I’m torn. This Onion review of the movie sounds like it’s written from my own head in the future. On the other hand, Aint It Cool News says that it’s bad but in a Starship Troopers kind of way. I heart the camptastic Starship Troopers. But I went in ignorant of the characters. People who loved the book Starship Troopers hate the movie. And I LOVE the Punisher.

It should be pretty simple. Frank Castle is a vengeance-driven badass. He’s constantly getting shot and beaten to the point of death and always recovers just enough to get his man. He’s utterly devoid of a sense of humor and every sentence he utters is the toughest thing you’ve ever heard. He’s walking testosterone.

But he’s not devoid of a heart. If anything, his moral code is pretty black and white. If you kill an innocent person, he will kill you. Occasionally, someone will almost get through to him but they will never succeed because his humanity is broken. He is probably incapable of ever really loving again. But he knows who needs protection and who deserves to die. Imagine Robocop as a flesh-and-blood Frank Castle, and you’re not far off. He’s not complex. The fact that circumstances have turned him into a revenge automaton is what’s so compelling about the character. You would think it difficult to screw it up. And yet…

Yeah, I’m probably gonna see this crap anyway. But the outlook is not good. And unfortunately, these misdeeds will continue to go unpunished.

There’s Money to be Made

This is a good angle. When you can’t appeal to bigots via love or rationale, try money.

A “star-studded cast” (John C. Reilly is a star, right?) performs Prop 8: The Musical!

PS: Can N.P.H. please do musicals full time?

Let the Trite One In

On my way to seeing a vampire movie (not that one), I lamented to my fella that I hadn’t seen a good supernatural-themed movie in a while and was really hoping to enjoy Let the Right One In. I was pleased as punch to find that I did enjoy it immensely. It had its flaws: the low-budget special effects were sometimes out of place in what was essentially an art-horror film and there were some continuity issues. But for the most part, it was a very original (albeit based on a book) way to tell a coming-of-age tale about a bullied boy who falls in love with the vampire girl next door.

The story didn’t over-explain itself. Though I recognized budget-slimming gore shorthand from my low-budget horror-crafting days, I was impressed with the violence. The young leads were also quite good, despite this being the first movie for both of them. They conveyed the less-is-more method of child acting. In other words, it was a lot of wide-eyed close-ups. But it totally worked. I walked away from the theater quite happy and have been warmly recalling the experience ever since…

…Until now. Why, Hollywood?!! Why must you always RUIN EVERYTHING?! This film JUST came out and now they are talking American remakes. This movie already HAS an American crap-terpart. It’s called Twilight and it’s doing just fine, thank you. Of course, that’s probably just it. Twilight is doing SO well that they want to cash in while the cashing is good. And who wants to read subtitles or watch two unknowns when you can make the same movie with a Sprouse and a Fanning (I don’t know if that’s who they will cast, but I’m sure I’m not far off).

I didn’t like Cloverfield very much. I thought the monster was cool but the characters were completely two dimensional and I didn’t care what happened to them. So I don’t have much faith in the director to remake this film. Especially when he says ignorant crap like “It’s a terrific movie and a fantastic book. I think it could be a really touching haunting and terrifying film. I’m really excited about what it could be.”

What it COULD be? He compliments the source material and then basically says he can do better. What an asshole. In fact, that entire article pisses me off. It’s that “Americans can’t relate to any film in a foreign language” attitude that keeps artistic film far underground and crap like Twilight number one at the box office. And even then it would be fine as long as they left the art films alone. But they have to go and put their grubby little paws on everything. I’m sick of it. But there’s nothing that can be done about it either.


Haters Will Hate on You…And Make Negative Comments

This one’s for Wade.

Thanks dlisted.

The guy who made this also made some other silly songs and they are, naturally, all available for download. The internet!

NFT Radar: Temple Billiards

As a general rule, I’d avoid Pioneer Square like the plague on a Friday or Saturday. Or any drinking holiday for that matter. But if you’re looking for a good time on a weeknight, and a good time for you includes shooting a little stick, Temple Billiards has got what you’re looking for. They rent their numerous tables by the hour and weeknights. Weekdays are even cheaper if you don’t have a lot going on in the employment department. Refuel with an above-average pizza or sandwich. Among the usual suspects is the to-die for Lil’ Mama pizza (pepperoncinis, Hungarian pickled peppers and mozzarella). They are big enough to share but you might not want to. Wash it down (as you do) with a pitcher of microbrew. If you want the place to yourself, reserve pool tables for private events or rent the downstairs lounge and utilize the DJ booth. On a weeknight, however, there’s not a lot of competition if you’ve got a large group out for an impromptu gathering or for blowing off steam after a hard day’s work. Go ahead, and imagine your boss’s face on that cue ball. I won’t tell.

126 S Jackson St 98104

X-posted from Not For Tourists.