Klostermeme IX

Chuck Klosterman IV is rife with meme fodder. The Klostermeme series features these questions, my answers, my speculations on how Klosterman would answer and an invitation to the reader to answer these questions in the comments!

If given the choice, would you rather a) only abide by the rules and morals of a society that you personally agree with, or b) have the power to slightly adjust the rules and morals that currently exist (but these adjustments would then apply to you and everyone else, all the time?

moralsMy Answer: Since I wholeheartedly believe in my own morals I would choose option B. A general live and let live policy adopted by everyone would really mellow this old world out. Only a hypocrite (and an asshole) would want to live in a world in which rules only apply to them. Unfortunately, I think option A is closer to the way the world is already.

Klosterman Theory: He seems like a generally good person. Therefore he would choose option B.


Tired of Tarentino

I am so over Quentin Tarentino. Granted, he wrote (but thankfully did not direct) the pitch-perfect “True Romance”. (Though there is a theory that his jilted writing partner, Roger Avary, actually did the bulk of the work on the script.) Sure he helped change the face of independent cinema with Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction. But Quentin Tarentino has run out of original ideas. And with all the talk of his next two projects, I think it’s possible he never had any to begin with.

fat tarentinoTarentino is a professional fan boy who has made a career out of copying all the stuff he likes. Fortunately for him, he likes kind of obscure movies so it is a rare bird who will recognize what he has borrowed from. That is probably why he decided to go from plagiarism to straight up remakes.

First up is “Inglorious Bastards”, based on the 1978 Italian film about a group of insolent WWII soldiers whose only chance to save themselves from punishment for their misdeeds is by sneaking into a heavily guarded Nazi compound and stealing a secret weapon. So far there are a lot of casting rumors (Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio), but only one confirmed cast member: Quentin’s protege and BFF, Eli Roth.

eli rothRoth is the man who, in conjunction with the “SAW” franchise, helped popularize torture fetish films (Who needs character development or dialog when you can just bleed people slowly for an hour and a half?). Roth is as much of an actor as Tarentino himself. That is to say that he smirks his way through his lines while his more talented cast mates play around his high-school-drama caliber performance. I’m also sure there will be plenty of rambling monologues for everybody. Needless to say, I’m not so much looking forward to this one.

Then we have a remake of Russ Meyer’s “Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!”. Early casting rumors name Britney Spears for a starring role. Why? I HAVE NO IDEA. Russ Meyer was known for casting ladies not as much for their acting ability as for…other…assets. And Quentin certainly has experience exploiting the ladies. But does Britney have any sex appeal left? She is a professional Jerry Springer tragedy, not a busty sex kitten. Is anyone still attracted to that? I bet she smells like Chicken McNuggets. I hate to say it but if Tarentino really can’t be creative about finding lesser known Russ-worthy ladies, he should just re-borrow the cast of “Sin City” and be done with it.

Why are we still celebrating the work of this middle-aged fan boy geek? Why are we still entrusting the Comic Book Guy with big budgets and A-list names? His early films were either a fluke or a scam. I got a baaaad feeling about this.

NFT Radar: Harried and Hungry

Every downtown office seems to have a boner for Specialties, but I’ve never enjoyed them. Maybe it’s because I get the veggie options, but my food has always been bland and soggy. But Specialties isn’t the only lunch delivery game in town. There’s also Harried and Hungry. If you’re dining in, you’ll note the ‘harried’ part. It’s not the patrons dining and dashing back to work. It’s the owners who don’t let you stare at the menu for more than 30 seconds before ushering you to a register. That’s why I like to ponder the website menu before I go. Once I have a mission in mind, I’m usually not disappointed. Their lunch fare includes the souped-up versions of the staples: sandwiches (Grilled Pesto), salads (Curried Chicken) pizza (Bacon Blue) and soup (Wild Mushroom Grain). They are generally outstanding and never soggy. On occasion, they have been too ‘harried’ in the kitchen to remember the ‘balsamic’ part of my Caprese sandwich, but it’s still pretty tasty. Wash it all down with a fresh-made smoothie infused with green tea for that low-level afternoon buzz. Unfortunately, the prices are more NYC than Seattle, so save your patronage for when you have access to the corporate credit card.

1415 3rd Ave 98101

X-Posted from Not For Tourists.