Klostermeme V

Chuck Klosterman IV is rife with meme fodder. The Klostermeme series will feature these questions, my answers, my speculations on how Klosterman would answer and an invitation to the reader to answer these questions in the comments! It will also challenge my recollection Roman numerals.

And so…

You work in an office, performing a job you find satisfying (and which compensates you adequately). The company that employs you is suddenly purchased by an eccentric millionaire who plans to immediately raise each person’s salary by 5% and extend an extra week of vacation to all full-time employees.

formal wearHowever, this new owner intends to enforce a somewhat radical dress code: every day, men will have to wear tuxedos, tails, and a top hat (during the summer months, male employees will be allowed to wear gray three-piece suits on “casual Fridays”). Women must exclusively work in formal wear, preferably ball gowns or prom dresses. Each employee will be given an annual $500 stipend to purchase necessary garments, but that money can only be spent on work-related clothing.

The new regime starts in three months.

Do you seek employment elsewhere?

My answer: Hell no. Granted it’s much more comfortable for a lady to be in formal wear in summer months but since I like to look pretty every day anyway, this would be no problem at all. It’s so difficult to get a job you like that pays you well. There is no way I would throw that away.

Klosterman Theory: Yes. Klosterman lives in New York. It gets pretty hot there in the summer.

Your answers! Place them in the comments!



  1. I’d quit. I had to wear some sort of uniform at two different jobs when I was 18 or 19, and I hated it and swore I’d never work at a place where I couldn’t dress like I wanted to. Besides, 5% isn’t much of a raise, and $500 doesn’t go too far when buying formal wear (except maybe at thrift stores), plus think of the dry cleaning bills.

  2. But he said are already making adequate money. And it doesn’t say they have to be new suits. Think of all the vintage tuxes you could sport! I could probably buy 20 prom dresses from Value Village for $100 and just trade em out for other dresses when the time comes for dry cleaning. Though I would probably feel weird about taking the bus to work…

  3. Quit. Anyone crazy enough to enforce a prom dress code is going to be a pain in the butt in other ways too.

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