Hotter with a Beard: Jack Black Edition

I ganked this photo from my friend’s FB feed so I have no idea how recent it is. Regardless, I’ve had an on-again/off-again crush on J.B. since the High Fidelity days.

On again: Mr. Show/Tenacious D
Off again: Shallow Hal/Ice Age
On again: School of Rock
Off again: Nacho Libre
On again: Be Kind Rewind (even though that movie kinda sucked, both JB and Mos Def were adorable in it)/Pick of Destiny
Off again: Gulliver’s Travels/all that Kung Fu Panda business
On again: This photo…

Kinda makes a girl hope for some popping out of the side hatch with oils and perfume (and incense).


Hotter with a Beard: David Bowie Edition

A friend of mine recently directed me to this little feature on normally clean-shaven celebrities with beards. I’ve covered some of these people before and others aren’t so hot no matter how much hair they have (but who knew that Phil Collins invented the trucker hat hipster?). Of course, David Bowie looks amazing with a beard. This is a man who somehow gets sexier with every passing year. He can don a spiked, orange mullet and paint a lightening bolt on his face, or even wear a Tina Turner-style wig and a Bea Arthur formal blouse, but he’ll always look like sex personified.

With a beard, he just looks like a normal bloke. Or else a normal, effortlessly hip English Lit professor who everybody has a crush on.

Good one, Bowie.

SPECIAL EDITION! Hotter With a ‘Stache: Jason Segel

Did you know there’s a thing called “Mustache March”? Well, there is.

Lance Armstrong wisely tapped into the hipster facial hair market by giving men an excuse to let their inner bear out and raise money for (or, rather, against) testicular cancer. Healthy balls is something that most of us can get behind (or in front of). And here at Effed by the Wind, we also love to get behind the growing and subsequent styling of facial hair.

Mustache March’s charity is the MACC, which benefits kids with cancer. This is also an inarguably deserving cause. A friend of mine has been covering the celebrity Mustache March photos on her Facebook page, but they never included this fetching photo of TV and Film actor Jason Segel. He showed us his dong in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”, but it wasn’t until this that he showed us his truly masculine side. I love mustaches but I have to agree that many people can NOT pull them off without looking like rednecks or sex offenders.

Jason Segel can pull it the fuck off.

When he tweeted this photo, he captioned it, “For the ladies”. He clearly meant it as a joke and I bet he shaved it off shortly thereafter. But before he did, I hope someone told him that he nailed it. He looks like an extra in “Mary Poppins” and I mean that in the BEST possible way. Keep up the good work, Segel. Hope to see the full beard monty in Movember.

Hotter With a Beard: Malcolm-Jamal Warner Edition

I’m currently in the middle of the second season of “Community”. I know the world already knew how awesome this show was, but I’m just now finding out. So that’s why I’m also just finding out about the hotness that has overtaken Theo Huxtable. He reached teen idol status on “The Cosby Show”, but I hadn’t yet discovered boys when I watched that show so I didn’t really get it. When I became aware of him post-puberty, he looked like this:

Facial hair, yes. But also a tragedy atop his head. And that was what he looked like in my brain until last night when he popped up on “Community” to play Shirley’s husband. I recognized him instantly (the sweater helped), but I also saw him in a whole new light. The hotness light. It’s like a real-life movie makeover. You knew he was hot the whole time, but you needed the haircut to really see it. The internet has already done a side-by-side comparison for me.

Amazing! I really hope it works out between him and Shirley because that’s a face I wouldn’t mind seeing more of. (No spoilers, please!) How about we see more right now.



Hotter with a Beard: James McAvoy Edition

I’ve been a little busy lately. Too busy to keep up with my favorite celebrity gossip blogs. So I haven’t noticed any actors letting their follicles hang out. Fortunately, my friend Ahe has picked up the slack. Today, she drew my attention to a young Scottish gentleman by the name of James McAvoy. This guy has been running around, mostly babyfaced, since 1995. I first noticed him in “The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe”, when he wore a beard on his bottom half as the fawn, Mr. Tumnus.

Fawns are, by the far, the sexiest of the man/beast hybrids (whatwith their fancy-free lifestyles and perpetual boners). But despite his general Scottishness, human McAvoy did nothing for me. Even when he was pretending to be Patrick Stewart or giving it to Kiera Knightly in the library (with the candlestick) I remained unaffected. Part of it was his pathetic display of unkempt facial hair, which seemed to indicate that he could no more grow a beard than Mr. Bigglesworth or Orlando Bloom. But he was holding out on us! Observe:

This picture is from the film, “The Conspirator”.

We don’t know if he would ever elect to wear a beard in his normal, everyday life. But he should. He really should.

James McAvoy’s Beard, I salute you!

Hotter with a Beard: Sterling Archer Edition

I know he’s a cartoon character and he’s voiced by a short, bald man. But Archer is a babe. He looks especially fetching in the episode, “Heart of Archness: Part 1” when Rip Riley (Patrick Warburton, naturally) finds him playing “Cocktail” in some tropical paradise after his would-be Russian bride was murdered. (I know it sounds heavy. But trust me, casual violence was never funnier than it is on this show.)

ANYWHOSEL, Archer doesn’t keep the beard for long, but he rocks it while he has it. I think he resembles a young James Brolin.

Hotter With a Beard: Axl Rose Edition

Even in his heyday, I never really got the Axl-Rose-as-a-sex-symbol thing. He was too skinny, and biker shorts have never really been a turn on for me. And then during his “come back” things seemed to get worse. No man’s face should ever meet a botox needle and no white man should ever don cornrows. Well, I guess Axl got (a small) clue because these days, he’s looking alright. Not GREAT, mind you. But certainly better than he’s ever looked before.

He could probably stand to work out and buy some normal pants (and Jesus H. Jones cut that hair already!!) but I dig where he’s going with this.

Notter with a Beard: Adrien Brody Edition

Aw hell nah. Though this post should really have its own category because what Mr. Brody has there is not, technically, a beard, but some horrible abomination of facial hair. I generally adore Brody’s sweet face and sensuous nose, but this shit makes him look like a serial date-rapist at a sorority party.

It’s made all the worse by his proximity to HWAB-alum, Keanu Reeves, who is rocking the sexy whiskers as per usual.

Figure it out, Brody. Please.

Hotter With a Beard: Jon Hamm Edition

Hamm’s hairy potential is hinted at on “Mad Men” with his occasional five o’clock shadow and glorious chest hair. But here is Hamm’s face in full bearded glory.

Fantastic. I’m also a fan of the sexy crow’s feet. This is what a man looks like, people.

Hotter With a Beard: Chuck Klosterman Edition

This edition is in honor of my friend, Elyse, who met the illustrious Chuck when she was the maid of honor to his groomsman at a friend’s wedding. I recently gifted her a copy of “Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs” (mmmm…Cocoa Puffs…) and his picture on the back cover features this cute but also sort of geeky clean-shaven face.

Apparently, he now looks like this:

Proof-positive of the magic of facial hair. The evidence is undeniable. The shorter bangs help too.