thu

I missed YET ANOTHER opportunity to see a preview of Serenity. This time it was through the Warren Report. I JUST checked the website yesterday afternoon and then checked it again yesterday evening. During that time, Serenity had been posted and filled up. It’s ok. I have always assumed I was just going to see it for the first time on opening night. But it’s a bit frustrating because who the hell ARE these people that either have fantastic timing, or troll the relevant sites 24/7? In addition, this sort of thing makes me fear for opening night. I realize now that this is likely to be something of LOTR proportions. And that’s GREAT for Joss and the Browncoats because it means we will probably be treated to two more Serenity films. But it also means that no matter where the movie is playing (Cinerama?), I will probably have to get in line straight after work.
I am also sad to report that Dom will be out of town on opening night. The Troika will not be seeing it together. I only hope that Dom will be able to find someone equally (or at least MARGINALLY) excited to see it with him on opening night in Hell-A.

I think I can already hazard a guess as to whom else out of my faithful LJ-ers are planning on descending on their local cinema in coats of brown on 9/30. The day draws nigh, my friends.

August 25, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary, Filmpinions . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

No start he monorail slab

WEEKEND UPDATE

FRIDAY

The evening began at the really delicious Samui That. Faye and I were still suffering from some sort of mental allergy to an overdose of gorgonzola cheese the night before. (I’m only partially joking. Faye and I are both allergic to penicillin. However, we only react to moldy cheeses a fraction of the time. Well, Faye made a lovely gorgonzola pasta and afterward, I developed a small rash and Faye and I were mentally whacked for the entire next day.) So Faye was feeling pretty weird and I was acting silly without the influence of drugs or alcohol. I think Dom was a little freaked. Anyway, we ate a delicious dinner in the company of Ben and, later, Borgia. After dinner, we stopped at the QFC for enforcements. Dom headed home to work. The rest of us were regrettably late arriving to Sherrard’s place to watch one of the performances on the Bill Hicks DVD. When we arrived, Sherrard and Dan were listening to the David Hasselhoff album “Night Rocker”, which, in my gorgonzola haze, sounded to me like Talking Heads. I was overjoyed when Sherrard handed me my very own copy! We opened our booze, marveled at the lovely job Sherrard had done decorating his flat, (we hadn’t been there since he’d first moved in), and set about watching the DVD. It was a performance that I’d never seen before. I had heard many of the jokes, but Hicks is remarkable at making each of his “bits” come off as completely off-the-cuff and organic every time. This is probably because the comedy of Hicks isn’t your typical “do you ever notice…?” act. Instead, it’s Hicks the Profit speaking directly from the heart about all the ways in which the world is fucked up and how easy it would be to fix it all if we just stopped being assholes and loved each other. Of course, this is all delivered using hilarious analogies, characters like Goat Boy, and sound effects galore. So you don’t even realize how truly poetic it is until the end when he signs off with a completely earnest message about love and you notice the tears streaming down your face. I may have listened to his records many times, but Hicks was a performer. He needs to be watched to truly appreciate his impact. It becomes horrifically apparent how true it is that nothing gold can stay. There are many people who think Bill Hicks is funny. I don’t think enough of those people comprehend that he was actually trying to change people’s perceptions and make the world a better place. Thank you, Sherrard, for sharing the DVD with us.
After we dried our tears, we followed Ben to the Canterbury. I had finished a bottle of wine, I believe, by myself. Faye had not yet begun to drink. I’m not sure if it made a difference though. At that point, I was pretty obliterated so the rest of the evening zoomed past and we closed out the Canterbury.

SATURDAY

Dom allowed me to tag along on his date to meet Matt, the Script Reader. We had coffee and Matt asked us questions about producing that, well, only Dom could answer. He then took off to watch the Stranger Amateur Porn contest and Dom and I set about preparing for the Fundue Party! We bought some groceries and then started cleaning. I took a shower and changed into one of my mom’s old dresses from the 70’s. Around 3:30, I chopped bread, fruit and broccoli and then watched The Station Agent, which ended with just enough time for me to start cooking the fondue. I just made a Swiss fondue and a Gruyere and Swiss without alcohol for Dom. I also had some mircrowaveable vegan chocolate fondue for dessert. Meanwhile, Dom put on his brown sharkskin suit. We were ready to party. Brugos and Faye arrived on time and we chowed down. I was a little annoyed that people arrived late, being that it was a dinner party. But, for some reason, a lot of people THOUGHT that it started at 8 (who eats at 8?! New Yorkers?) and so they didn’t think they were late. In attendance at that point were Aiyana, Andrew, and Ben. Aiyana brought a lovely vegetarian fish loaf that looked awesome. Dan and Sherrard arrived around 8:45 and scooped up the last of the cheese. We were already well into a game a Cranium at that point. Kayobi arrived around 9 and, hopefully, got something to eat. Then we broke out the Taboo! Faye and I were forbidden to be on the same team which I still resent. But neither of our teams won. Team Ben proved victorious with Team Aiyana coming in 2nd and Team Cunt (my team), in 3rd. The losing team became the proud owners of a can of “Potted Meat Food Product” which I’d purchased some weeks back for Sherrard at QFC as a joke but neglected to give it to him. Given that Kayobi and I are both vegetarians, the potted meat was Sherrard’s. Fate had brought it to it’s rightful owner at last. After Sherred read the ingredients out loud, (which I found on line!), we HAD to open the can.

The first thing we noticed was the smell. It was similar to, but less pleasant than the Fancy Feast that my kitties enjoy every night. Second, in the middle of a cylindrical lump of “potted meat” was a hole, as if a factory worker had decided to stick their penis in there “just out of curiosity” right before sealing up the can. There was no going back. Someone had to taste it. Sherrard, brave man that he is, and who, as a result of his time in Taiwan, also has a history of consuming the inconsumable, got a fork and scooped up a small piece. He stuck his tongue on the offending morsel and immediately noticed the extreme saltiness. Less than 2% of sodium indeed. Eventually, he worked it into his mouth. The look on his face, after that, was priceless. It also spurred on Ben and Dan to try it as well. No one enjoyed it in the least, but, to my knowledge, none those adventurous souls have yet contracted salmonella.
Ben, Aiyana and Andrew left us. Kayobi made the mistake of mentioning that she had watched the first 4 episodes of Buffy on the DVD that I lent her, and wasn’t as keen on them as she’d been on Firefly (her first foray into the world of Whedon). In a panic, I shoved Buffy Season 3 into her hands, but Faye had a better idea. We should just have her watch “Hush”. It doesn’t require TOO much back story to appreciate, The Gentlemen are scary as hell, and what better way to show a skeptic the genius of Joss than to show them an episode with almost no dialogue. And we think it worked! I also decided to lend her Angel Season 1 because she mentioned that it was hard to get into a show about high school kids at this stage of life, supernatural as their stories may be. When the episode was over, we turned off the DVD player to find Starship Troopers on TV. People began to trickle out the door at that point, but a few stayed on to watch the vagina slug fuck up some dudes and to briefly make fun of Denise Richards.
And that’s a party at the Zookster House.

SUNDAY

It’s amazing how easy it is to clean up from a party when the apartment was actually clean before the party began. There may be something to this whole “keeping your place tidy” thing.
Yoga was good. I’m finally back to my skill level that I was at before my month and a half of laziness. It is really hard to do Bikram when it’s 80 degrees outside though.
Back at home, I made dinner, and listened to my mom tell me some more of her government conspiracy theories. This time she thinks that the ID chips that the pound injects into the animals is another way for the government to find you and invade your privacy. I asked her what the government would want to “find” me for and she said “Anything. Anything at all. It’s just like when Nixon tried to get the government to allow televisions to have cameras installed into them so that they could watch you in your house.” I said “I think that was actually Orwell”. And she said “Exactly!” It’s around that point in the conversation when I stop trying to reason with her and just let her finish her tirade so I can eat dinner before it gets cold.
At 7, Dom and I watched the exciting conclusion to Dr. Who and I was dismayed to learn that it really WAS the conclusion. I guess we’d found it right near the end of the series. Now I really WILL need to buy the DVD’s. Damn.
Dom and I then started in on Battlestar Galactica which, despite the fact that so far they’ve over-explained the simple things and under-explained the more confusing plot points, is really really cool. And 3 episodes in, I’ve got me quite the little crush on Starbuck.

NEXT WEEKEND: Faye and I bring DDR over to Brugos’ house and spend the day alienating ourselves in his TV room!

CORRECTIONS BY DOM
Woah woah… the night didn't end after Hush! We shut off Hush and brought the lights back up. People made their exit, leaving Sherrard, Faye, Brugos and of course Jessica and I. After trying to entice people with my greatest hits of TV from the 70s and 80s – which enraged Sherrard – I was rather loudly berated into manning the karaoke machine. So I did. And for the next hour, despite telling Jessica to sing quietly, everyone did their very best to outsing everyone else. I was shot the evil eye from Sherrard and Jessica who were sure I was purposefully keeping the microphone off or at a low volume. After about 20 minutes, as expected, the allure of karaoke wore off and most folks went into the kitchen and Faye stuck it out and kept singing. It was nearly 2AM at this point and Sherrard rejoined the group, but things were a little more muted and overall we just enjoyed the videos, as usual.

THEN we turned off the karaoke and watched Starship Troopers as people left. My sober eye records all.

Thank you Dom. I can see it all now, clear as day.

August 22, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

And go of commission enact

Welcome to the FUCKED survey. These are all FUCKED, random, interesting, personal questions.

Baxter’s note: I wouldn’t call any of these questions “fucked”. I think the creator just wanted to write “fucked” as many times as possible to exude an air of danger. OOOOH! Anyway…

HAVE YOU EVER? …YES/NO (feel free to elaborate on your answers to make it a quasi-interesting read)

1. Given a homeless guy more than $5?
Nope.

2. Spent more than $500 on a bf/gf's gift or a night out?
What could Dom POSSIBLY spend that much money on?

3. Had sex with more than one person in a day?
No.

4. Hooked up with a good friends bf/gf behind their back?
Never.

5. Dated two people at once?
Yes. But neither was exclusive so it was ok.

6. Actually met someone from myspace that you didn't mack down on?
Clearly this is a myspace meme. And frankly, I feel like it’s accusing me of something.

8. Failed more than one class?
I failed exactly one class. Well, I didn’t FAIL. I got a D. But for some reason, at my college, a D means you have to take statistics over again.

9. Took someone's virginity when you weren't a virgin?
Yes.

10. Hooked up with someone from a different race?
Yes.

11. Ran around naked outside…daytime/night time?
Yes. It was truth or dare and…BOY was I drunk.

12. Scubadived/snorkoled?
No.

13. Want to fuck (there’s that naughty word again!) the person who posted this?
Not especially. No offense.

14. Dated someone you didn't want your friends to meet?
Heh. Actually, the crazier they were, the MORE I wanted my friends to meet them. Because I needed them to feel my pain before it was over.

15. Got your stomach pumped, from alcohol poisoning?
Luckily, no.

16. Threw up from alcohol?
Unluckily, yes.

17. Been suspended from school?
Nope. But I did get a few “demerits”. Mostly for dress code violations but one, I was especially proud of: Not bowing my head during prayer in assembly!

18. Kissed someone of the same sex?
Yep.

19. Wore a short skirt with out panties?
Not a short skirt. If I’m going commando, it’s because I don’t have any clean underwear and I’m not about to get busted by wearing a short skirt.

20. Let a guy paint your toenails?
Why would I do that?

21. Met someone famous?
Yes!

22. Saved someone's life?
Nope.

23. Seen someone die?
No. But I’ve seen a few people on their way out.

24. Killed someone?
Heh. I doubt a murderer would be filling out a meme.

25. Been in a physical fight?
Only with my brother.

26. Hooked up with someone 10yrs older or younger?
No.

27. Been arrested?
No.

28. Spent the night in jail?
I’ve never even been in a working prison. Sounds like fun though.

29. Been in more than three car accidents in a year?!
No.

30. Had sex outside?
Yes.

31. Given or gotten road head?
You know, I haven’t. And it’s not because I’m unadventurous. It’s more to do with the fact that I don’t want to die in an embarrassing fashion. I’ve pulled over to the side of the road for the goods though.

32. Had sex in your house when your parents were there?
Actually, yes. I lost my virginity with my parents downstairs. Everyone was asleep though. And our stairs were creaky enough so that I knew I wouldn’t get caught. Also, being my first time, there was NO chance of me making any noises of passion.

33. Had phone sex?
Yes. It’s not for me.

34. Been turned off by someone's personal hygiene?
Once or twice. But mostly, I don’t mind man stink.

35. Told someone you loved them when you didn't?
I don’t think so. Not for any nefarious reasons, anyway.

42. Danced on top of a bar?
No.

43. Had sex somewhere in your high school?
That would have been impossible for many reasons.

44. Bought a vibrator?
Several.

45. Been in a porn shop?
Whenever possible.

46. Been in a dance competition?
Hehe! Does DDR count?

47. Ever had a threesome?
Only in my dreams. And that’s probably where it’s best left.

48. Spent more than one night in a hospital?
No. One night is bad enough.

49. OD'd on a drug?
When you throw up from drinking, isn’t that kind of like ODing? Certainly it means you’ve had too much alcohol.

50. Lied on a retarded Myspace Bulletin Quiz?
I’d like to think of this meme as “developmentally disabled”.

August 18, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Of forget to anode

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

At Dom’s behest (and with Gadzook money), Faye and I agreed to have “Plight of the Living Dead” read by a professional…um…guy who reads scripts and offers constructive criticism. The process is called “Script Coverage”, but I don’t know what you call one who covers scripts. A Coverager? Anyway, we did it, and we met with the guy on Friday to discuss his notes. Faye and I were very nervous about the whole process. What if the guy just doesn’t understand our humor? What if he doesn’t even LIKE zombie movies? Well, we got his notes ahead of time, and they were mostly positive. But there were a few things in there that made us a little defensive. It’s VERY hard to take yourself out of a script you’ve been writing for 4 years. The guy (Matt was his name) had some good suggestions, and overall, he really liked the script. He said so several times. In fact, he said that if we were to start shooting tomorrow, we would have a good, cult-status movie on our hands. But if we revised a few things, we would have a GREAT movie that may even become a sleeper hit. So that sounds pretty good, right? Well, yes. It is. But like I said, it’s really EXTREMELY hard to step back from your work. So Faye and I, at first, felt like we had just gone to a parent-teacher conference wherein the teacher tells you your child, your pride and joy, is very intelligent but is they are performing below their potential and will need some tutoring or maybe to be placed in special ed. It was extremely traumatic for us. Luckily, we HAD read his notes before meeting with him so we had some time to lick our wounds and sleep on it. By the time we met with him, we had realized that he had quite a few good ideas. So now, Faye and I will do one more draft of the script before the end of August. We spent the rest of Friday evening getting drunk with Matt. He’s a cool guy which, at least for me, made the taking of the critical medicine that much easier. Anybody who loves “Human Nature” and “Swamp Thing” is definitely coming from a similar place. Maybe that was his plan all along…
Unfortunately, I was going on an almost empty stomach. Since we started out at the Coastal Kitchen (what’s up, pricey), I decided to wait on getting a snack, thinking we would only have one drink there. We had two. And then we moved to the Canterbury where I got another drink and a half in me before any food arrived. I was very dipleased with my order of garlic bread. Sorry, dears. Stale bread that’s been lightly buttered and sprinkled with garlic salt before being burned in a toaster oven is NOT Garlic Bread. Matt was kind enough to share his fries with us, however. Regardless, the lining of the stomach with carbs was too little too late, my friend. Too little, too late.

SATURDAY

Horrible raging hangover, check. Wasting the entire morning nursing said hangover, check. While I drank glass after glass of water and waited for the pain medication to kick in, I watched Confessions of a Dangerous Mind again. Great flick. I like that Clooney fellow. I think he has quite a bit of potential. Honestly, his direction harkens back to the 60’s and 70’s when making a movie was more than just filming scenes. It was about telling a story through pictures. Some of the composition is just beautiful. My only criticism of the film (besides Drew Barrymore) is that Clooney didn’t really pick a visual motif and stick with it. He kind of looks, at times, to be experimenting. Overall, however, I’m impressed. Sam Rockwell is an incredible actor. And also one of those not terribly attractive men who can convince you to have a crush on him based on charisma alone. In light of that, who am I to argue with a film that requires Sam Rockwell to be naked for over a third of the scenes? It helps with the pain, I’ll tell you what.

So around 3:00, I was still hung-over, but nursing time was over. I had to get ready to go to a short screening at the Rendezvous (for another Matt. Remember, kids. If you can’t remember the name of a male filmmaker, chances are they are called Matt, Mark or Eric). It being a beautiful day, Dom and I had planned to walk, but because of my useless ass, we didn’t get out of the house until 10 to 4, and we were supposed to be there at 4:15. Thank Christ for the Focus. We sped downtown and found a parking spot fairly easily. Matt was kind enough to show a trailer for “Snow Day” before his short, “Merlot” screened. We got out of there at 5 and had to speed back up the hill to meet the 48-Hour Film Challenge team at Linda’s. Why were we meeting? Because we WON, motherfuckers! Pretty cool. We had dinner and a few rounds there before Faye and I decided we needed to exodus. We aren’t fans of Linda’s and only showed up there because that was where the two fellows who suggested the party wanted to go. Sherrard came with us and Ryan and The Kidd went downtown “for a bit”. Needless to say, we didn’t see them again for the rest of the night. We ended up the Satellite, and I once again attempted to find some satisfying garlic bread. To no avail. This time it was some kind of basil infused tapanade over crustinis. NOT GARLIC BREAD. Kayobi and (yet another) Matt came by and later, Dom, Borgia and Cherry left Linda’s to join us.
When you start your evening at 6:00, coming him at 12:45 doesn’t seem so early. Still, I convinced myself I needed to watch a movie, so I put in Dark City. I fell asleep before Murdoch even meets Dr. Schreber.

SUNDAY

T’was a typical Sunday in many ways. I did some chores and Dom and I went to the grocery store. This time, however, we went to Trader Joe’s. We spent ABOUT the same as we would at Safeway, and we got some really healthy stuff. So we both feel pretty good about it. For lunch, we had Trader Joe’s tomato and roasted red pepper soup and grilled cheese on organic wheat bread and it was a delicious meal. If we don’t get lazy, I think we’ll really be able to pull off this whole “healthy eating” thing.

Kayobi and I have been trying to convince each other to go to one another’s yoga class for a while now. Yesterday, she finally convinced ME to go to HERS. I usually do Bikram Yoga, which is the “hot yoga”. The whole thing takes place in a room that’s heated to 106 degrees. This is meant, mainly, to make you more limber. So my first concern with Kayobi’s yoga was that I wouldn’t be able to do any of the positions without the presence of the heat. Right away, I could tell that these were two completely different schools of yoga. Besides the lack of heat, the studio also has hardwood floors. The class starts off with some meditation (instead of just the breathing at Bikram), and the teacher reads a poem. Then the teacher turns on some New Age music (no music at Bikram) and we get into the positions, which, I noticed all too well, were very hard on my knees. And not just the standing positions. The floor positions are all very knee-oriented as well. At the end of the class, we did some more meditation and the teacher read another poem. I was disappointed that I didn’t feel nearly as worked as I do at Bikram. I was sweating, but I missed that overall weary feeling that Bikram gives me. The feeling that lets me know that I just worked out every single muscle in my body. Maybe if my knees weren’t so weak, I would have gotten more out of it. But I also really like the down-to-business aspect of Bikram. The class lasts an hour and a half and we work out for the WHOLE hour and a half. At Kayobi’s place, we spent at least half an hour chanting or meditating. I can see how that would be good for some people, but I go to yoga to work out, not to meditate. I have never been able to meditate. And it’s not that Bikram isn’t spiritual. It is. But the whole “clear your mind, let your negativity go” stuff happens WHILE you’re in the positions. It’s the ultimate yoga for multitaskers. And, as my resume clearly shows, that is ME, baby!
Today I am sore in places that I shouldn’t be, like my knees and the portion of my spine that juts out at the base of my neck. In fact, I’m less sore and more bruised. I blame the hardwood floors. I don’t think I’ll be going back to that one. That’s not too say that I will never try anything else but Bikram. But I am fairly convinced that Kayobi’s place is not for me. Once again, I feel very fortunate about the circumstances under which I first tried yoga. If I hadn’t gone to the Sweat Box on that day, with that amount of energy, I might have written off all of yoga as something that “isn’t for me”. (Of course, it stands to reason that I really shouldn’t write things off so readily.) Next week, Kayobi’s going to come with me to the Sweat Box. I have a feeling she’s going to HATE it. :)
When I got back, I made dinner and Dom and I watched Dr. Who (which was SO good! It’s all I can do to keep from spending $80 on the whole season at Amazon.co.uk!) After dinner, I did some work and then popped in “Midnight Cowboy”, which I’d never seen. It made me a little sad that so few people try to make movies like that anymore. Movies in which the cinematography is just as important to the story as the script. It also struck me that there were really only two pieces of music in the film. At first, I was put off by it, but by the end, I couldn’t have seen it any other way. Music is another thing that seems to be so secondary in films today. I was struck by that when watching The Devil’s Rejects too. The soundtrack to that film is PERFECT and was obviously very carefully selected. Probably the reason music has taken a backseat in films these days is because it’s so hard to secure the rights to music. Faye and I have a couple songs written into our script and we’ve been told over and over again that we shouldn’t make reference to a particular song because it frightens off investors. But we didn’t just write in songs we happened to hear on the radio at the time or anything. We try and write scenes to Tangents songs just because we’d have more of a chance getting the rights. We chose them because those are THE songs we want there. Still, sometimes restrictions work in your favor. The music in the original Donnie Darko is perfect and a lot of those songs were compromises for Richard Kelly. I still haven’t seen the Director’s Cut to decide if he was right all along. But what he ended up with the first time worked really well.

At this point, I’m rambling. Sorry about that. Boredom is a bitch.

August 15, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary, I Made Movies . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

her understand my carnage

I’ve been very busy with some exciting stuff. It’s kept me from my usual entries about random crap. I’ve been working on several spreadsheets (god, I love spreadsheets…maybe a little too much…) regarding film business. Meep and I have been coming up with our dream cast for Plight and I think we have a pretty good one nailed down. Of course, the operative word is “dream”. If these people aren’t busy, LOVE our script, don’t mind working for scale and staying in the Travelodge, they may say yes. Otherwise, we’ll probably still be casting unknowns for these parts. I feel like we have ok chances though. I mean, we’re not asking for anybody A-list. Most A-list actors aren’t very talented anyway. We’re asking for people whose work we genuinely admire. In terms of the less likely actors (i.e. Bruce Campbell), we’re casting them in roles that could be shot in a day. We’re looking at people who are notorious for doing small films and pet projects. I was looking at our list this morning and I must admit I got pretty elated. We’ve got lawyer who is going to call their agents and make us sound all professional-like. We may even bring a bona fide casting director on board. So…we’ll see what happens with that.

In other news, Meep, Jacob and I (and possibly Dom) are going to L.A. at the end of September! It will just be for the weekend for Shriekfest, a horror film festival in which “SDBSD” is playing. Allegedly, the festival director is inviting a lot of press and industry types. Jacob will be contacting some of the people he and Dom met at Comic Con to try and set up meetings or, at least, invite them to see the film. As usual, Meep and I just have to stand there and look pretty and schmooze schmooze schmooze. Since I need to reserve my vacation time (I’ve only got 4 days left till Feb. 1st and at least one more trip before then), we’ll have to fly out Friday after work and back in Sunday night. There’s an awards ceremony/party Sunday night so we’ll probably have to miss the fun part and I’ll STILL be exhausted Monday morning. But I have to suck it up because this is it, man. This is where the leg work comes in. I’d rather be sleep deprived now than get my beauty sleep and have to miss out on some important trip or party that could lead to the next step up the ladder. Of course, while we’re down there, we’ll definitely hang with Mark and hopefully the Brunswicks. (And even more hopefully, the Brunswicks will let me crash). I’m sure it will be another fun-filled, whirlwind weekend.

Speaking of which, there’s a bunch of other fun, non-filmmaking stuff coming up too! There’s my FUNdue party on the 20th, and a garden party at Brugos’ house on the 27th. He’s very kindly agreed to let me bring the DDR!

September kicks off with Bumbershoot weekend. I’ll definitely go one day. Possibly two. As usual, I’m not too into any of the musical acts. I love Elvis Costello, but after the horrible Pixies show last year, I vowed never to see another act on the Mainstage, no matter how good they are. Because they WON’T be good. They will be tiny dots who will sound terrible and be forced rush through their set. I’ll be going for the comedy which includes Patton Oswalt and Eugene Mirman.

September also means birthdays galore including, mine, Dom’s, Sherwood’s and Ryan’s. So many Virgos! I don’t have time/money to plan a Dom and Jessica Extravaganza this year, so hopefully Ryan has something cooking and we can just latch onto his.  Last year he rented out the Catwalk and had a Back to the Future Prom themed affair. I have never seen Ryan so hammered. As a result of about 20 too many Washington Apple shots, Ryan kept insisting on picking girls up and swinging them around. Tragically, Meep and I did not have immunity.

Also in September, Meep and I plan to commemorate the Summer Death Rattle by going east to Wenatchee to swim in rock and algae free water. Yipcha!

On a completely unrelated note, I have decided to try and improve my eating habits. I have been extremely lethargic for a long time. I am not anemic. I eat plenty of soy protein and dairy. I actually get a fair amount of sleep as well. So I have been doing some research and learned that high fructose corn syrup may be contributing to my lack of energy. It allegedly zaps your energy and turns to fat immediately upon entering the body. And of course, it’s in EVERYFUCKINTHING from bread to ketchup to soda to instant oatmeal. All things I eat constantly. There are all natural versions of all these foods but they are only available at, like Trader Joe’s. This means that my grocery bill will probably go up, at least until I get a grasp on how to avoid this stuff. I’m going to try this for two months and see how I feel. If, after that, I don’t feel any different, I will try something else. But there are a few things I’m going to try really hard not to go back to consuming, including soda and white bread. I’m also not putting sugar in my tea anymore and I’m only going to drink beer every once in a while. (I’ll still drink wine and the occasional mixed drink. Not drinking at all is so not an option for me right now. I still need to consume SOMETHING I enjoy). I’m only in my late twenties. I exercise. I’m a vegetarian. There is no reason for me to feel so crappy all the time. I’ll let you know how this goes.

Christmas Crackers! Sorry about the rambling. I’ll make up for it later with some sort of amusing meme-y link or another.

August 11, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary, I Made Movies . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Blanca

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

It was our friend Pam’s 30th birthday, and a lovely evening for an outdoor party. The Troika stopped first at Safeway to get some booze and some gifty-type stuff for the birthday girl. Faye found the weirdest birthday card ever. I will attempt to describe it. On the front is a cartoon dog in the middle of the woods, wildly sniffing the trunk of a tree. Inside the card it says “Whoa! Major dude here!” and then “Happy Birthday”. It was so weird that Faye HAD to get it. The meaning of the card became a topic of conversation throughout the evening. Eventually, we agreed that it must have something to do with the urine. The dog smelled the urine of a “major dude” who had peed on the tree. This was, we suppose, meant to imply that the recipient of the card was a major dude as well. But the whole phrasing was so bizarre. And what the hell does it have to do with birthdays? Who knows. Anywhosel, we wandered up to 27th Ave, which I’m not sure can be considered Capital Hill anymore. It’s definitely one of those strange “suburban” feeling parts of the city where everything is quiet and there’s plenty of parking. The party took place in their fenced in backyard. There was a BBQ going and some hilarious decorations which were very tailored to the birthday girl. There were also a stack of pictures of Pam’s head, on which you were meant to draw the body. That was fun. Later, the piece de résistance…wrestling in whipped topping! Pam had been saying for weeks that all she wanted for her birthday was to have her male friends wrestle in a kiddie pool filled with some sort of dessert item whilst wearing Mexican wrestler masks. And so she had it! Little did we know, Pam had planned to wrestle too. And she became the ultimate whipped topping champion! T’was a site to behold, let me tell you. Faye took some pictures which I will post links to when they are uploaded. But I have a feeling the photos won’t capture of magic of being there, mere inches away from being splattered with cool whip. The funniest part had to be when Pam won her third match. She stood up and said “I can’t see! Somebody please lick my eyes!” And TWO people obliged.

The Troika bailed around 10:00 because the party was headed to the I.D. for some karaoke and we weren’t in the mood. Dom went home, and Faye and I stopped in to the gay bar behind Chop Suey for a quick one. We definitely have to go back there soon. For one thing, they had THE best music. All the 80’s hits you know and love without any of the embarrassing stuff! The bartender was dressed in short-shorts, a reflective vest and a construction hat, and every once in a while, he’d bust a move on his way to serve a drink. Everywhere, people were dancing and just having a great time. No one was trying to impress anyone else. They were just there to party. Why can’t “straight” bars be like that? Why does everyone at Linda’s have to act so cool? And why can’t there be more Loverboy on the juke box?
While Faye and I drank our PBRs, we were approached by a very tall, very drunk man with long-ish curly gray hair and himler glasses. I had my hair up in the two small buns and he said that he had to come over because my hair kept coming toward him. He then launched into a monologue about how he never got hit on when he had short hair, but with his long hair, he does. Every once in a while, he would stop and look at my buns again and say “They’re coming toward me!”
Faye and I were supposed to meet the Nimble folks (I think…the drunky had set it at that point), so we took off ended up going to Bill’s, where they were going to meet us. We thought. But they didn’t. Faye and I drank alone, which was perfectly fine, and enjoyed the always wonderful music and food as served by Lily Taylor. Borgia joined us just in time to eat our leftovers and head home.

SATURDAY

Dom and I were supposed to meet a fellow local filmmaker whom I’d been emailing back and forth with for several months at the Canterbury for breakfast. We waited for half an hour and then ordered. 45 minutes after the scheduled meeting time, he called and said that he couldn’t get over there because of Seafair (goddamn you Seafair!) and we rescheduled for the next day. Dom and I got in the focus (with new windshield) and caught the ferry to Vashon to hang with the family. We picked his dad (Phil) up at the waterfront where he had been partaking in a ham radio contest (he’s WAY into ham), and we drove back to the house. Phil had to go to the ferry dock to pick up Dom’s half brother and family. While they were gone, Dom cleaned his car and I finished “Eleanor Rigby” by Douglas Coupland. (Damn you, Coupland! I can’t get through one of your books without blubbering at some point!). The sun this year must not be that strong (or close or something) because I’ve somehow managed to not only NOT get burned, but to actually procure a little color! Not that anyone besides me would notice. I still look like death warmed over. But I have an honest to god TAN LINE! Take that, Irish genes!
An hour and a half later, Phil and the family arrived with steaks, corn-on-the-cob and pumpkin pie. I make some bakes potatoes for my main course. My potato didn’t turn out so well, but the corn and pie were AMAZING. After dinner, Dom’s brother Eric, his daughter Sarah, me, Phil and the doggies went for a walk in the woods. The doggies were Phil’s beagle, Kirby and Eric’s poodle, Tommy. Tommy was apparently not used to so much exercise, so there were a few moments when he looked a little wiped, but it’s impossible to wear Kirby out. It was a wonderful walk. It’s not often that a city girl like me finds herself surrounded by trees as far as the eye can see. Very peaceful. When we got back to the house, we had a leisurely chat and showed “Snow Day” to the family. They said they liked it and bought a copy. (Of course, what kind of a family would say they DIDN’T like it?)
Dom and I caught the 10:20 ferry back to Seattle and I was so bushed (from doing what?!) that I actually fell asleep on the way home.

SUNDAY

Dom and I made a second attempt to meet our filmmaker friend at the Canterbury. This time it worked! We had a nice breakfast and chat about…filmmaking, and then parted ways. Later, I went to yoga and had THE hardest class I have ever had. I have never been so close to vomiting, and actually had to go to the bathroom in the middle of class to splash some cold water on my face. They say that it’s not uncommon to feel nauseous during Bikram yoga, but since I’d never been effected that way before (and have been doing it for over a year now), I thought I was immune. Not so. And how awful! I attribute it to a few things: not going as regularly as I had been the heat outside and PMS. It seemed like a lot of people were having hard classes, so I think the heat outside had a lot to do with it. I realized how lucky I was that the first time I went to yoga, I was having a good day. I was full of energy and feeling very strong. If this had not been the case, I doubt I would have kept going. Imagine if yesterday had been my first day! Ugh. Though that’s a lesson to be learned, isn’t it? I wonder how many things in life I’ve deemed “impossible” or “not for me” simply because the first time I tried them, the conditions were wrong or my heart wasn’t in it. How can I remember this lesson in the future?
Yoga wiped me out, and I had a nice, quiet evening at home in front of the television (including the new Dr. Who with Christopher Eccleston! It’s being broadcast by CBC! SO GOOD! Must remember to watch every week! Love Canada!)

August 8, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary, I Made Movies . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Bad mOOn rising

The party is over before it even begun. Tuesday I composed a very nice, polite letter to our downstairs neighbor which first apologized for the noise and then asked if there was any way we could come to a compromise. Since he’s old, I described DDR as “high-impact aerobics”. I told him our work schedules and that we would love to work around HIS schedule, if there is any time he won’t be home that we could continue our DDR lifestyle. Well, being the crotchety, backhanded shut-in that he is, he didn’t respond to our letter. Instead, he called our LANDLORD. Who knows what he told her, but we got a message from her yesterday saying that the guy is retired and “doesn’t have a set schedule” so unfortunately, we are just going to have to join a gym or else “do your high-impact aerobics in the parking lot”. First of all, I find it hard to believe that this fucker doesn’t have, like, a weekly pinochle game or SOMETHING when he isn’t home. Second, what kind of a fucking bastard responds to a polite letter asking for compromise, by tattling on us to the landlord? Apparently, Ponytail Santa Clause does. This backhandedness sent me into a rage that I couldn’t do ANYTHING about. I don’t get mad very often. Sure, I get annoyed plenty, but true ANGER is hard to get from me. And when I get mad, I feel an overwhelming urge to hit things. If there’s nothing to hit (which there usually isn’t), I eventually start crying. And angry crying is worse than sad crying because it doesn’t make you feel any better when you’re done. It makes you feel impotent. Of course, I AM impotent in this situation. I’ve got a big fat NO from the Powers That Be. I had all these fun plans about getting in shape and enjoying myself and having DDR parties and now NONE of that is going to happen because one lame-wad old person who happens to live below us isn’t willing to even DISCUSS the matter. No wonder he doesn’t have anything reason to leave the house. No one wants to hang out with the cantankerous old sonofabitch. From now on, it will be extremely difficult to resist the urge to randomly stomp loudly on my floor now. In fact, I did a fair bit of stomping last night.

So anyway, that’s that. I have $100 worth of DDR equipment that I can never use in my own home. At least not until this guy dies. So…who has a first floor apartment or house and wants to play DDR one of these days?

I will still have a fondue party though. Still tentatively for the 20th. Because I am going to make use of that fondue pot, goddamnit. We can fill our bellies with cheese and then, instead of burning it off, we can lounge around and let it coagulate in our stomachs whilst watching a movie. I just have to think of the perfect movie (preferably with lots of bass pounding out of the sub-woofer) to accompany a cheese orgy. Any suggestions?

August 4, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

I put it grasp mastodon

Oh unhappy day. I bounded home yesterday, so excited that I would finally be able to play DDR in my own home. Dom and I played a few test games and then Faye came over and we put her in the mix. We’d been playing for nary an hour when there was a knock on the door. Dom answered and apparently found the strange site of our downstairs neighbor dressed in red long johns and sporting huge glasses and a long, grey ponytail. He said that it sounded like a circus up here and could we please stop the noise. This was at approximately 8pm. I suppose the lateness could be debated, but he didn’t even say it was late. Just that his apartment was shaking. Fair enough to a DEGREE. But there are a few good arguments to me made. 1) Living in an apartment is shared space, true. But it’s also not a goddamned library. If we’re making some noise at a reasonable hour, I think it’s fair game. I’ve lived in apartments for years and had noisy neighbors. I didn’t ask the man who was constantly yelling at his kid to stop yelling. I didn’t ask the weekday partiers above me to shut up (only once when it was 2 in the morning on a Wednesday and they had been having weeknight parties for several weeks). I didn’t ask the dysfunctional couple to please stop fighting. I certainly don’t ask the demolition crew across the street to stop demolishing just because I’m home sick on a weekday and can’t sleep through their bulldozer. Why? Because these things happen. Faye said people have to live their lives and she’s right. There’s an unwritten rule that after 10 on a weekday, you should be quiet. I respect that. I’ve always respected that. I have a lot of good neighbor karma and that brings me to argument #2) I paid $100 for DDR and goddamnit, I want to play it! That might not be a GOOD argument, but it’s an argument nonetheless. What about all the people who do Tai Bo? Surely people who exercise in their apartment make noise. Should they instead get a gym membership? No. They just shouldn’t exercise late at night. It’s possible that this guy works a night shift. If so, I’m willing to work around his schedule. But I can’t NOT play DDR now that I have it. Come on, weird Santa! Work with me here! So, at the suggestion of many people, I am going to write a note to him today apologizing for the noise yesterday, explaining to him that this is basically exercise (because I think saying “I want to play a video game” wouldn’t be nearly as effective) and that if there’s an hour a day that we can agree on which would allow me to do this and him to do whatever it is he does, then that would be super swell. I will see how that goes before I ask him about the tentative DDR party on the 20th, which, I would like to add, I had already planned to be in the middle of the day on a Saturday. See what a good neighbor I am?

Well, that whole situation put me in a bit of a funk last night. I was in a right foul mood when we arrived at the Moniker/Bobcats/Some other bands show at Chop Suey. I had originally decided I wasn’t going to drink but bad moods facilitate need for alcohol so I bought me a house white and stewed in my glass. The first band was a chick-fronted number from Canada who were so-so. The second band was Moniker and they sounded amazing. Faye and I were mesmerized by the drums which were hooked up to some sort of machine that made them sound artificial. But they weren’t. They were being played live! Awesome! The third band sounded like a cross between Nine Inch Nails and New Order and I admit I enjoyed them in all their silliness. They played a cover of “Just Like Heaven” which got people dancing. By then I was on my third glass of wine which I had left at the back table under the care of Faye and Borgia so I could go to the bathroom. Being borderline drunk at that point, I lost track of time as I chatted with Sherrard. When I returned to the table, perhaps half an hour later, my wine was gone. Borgia said that an employee had cleared it. I have no idea why, as it was at least half full. There was approximately $3 worth of overpriced wine in that glass. Borgia valiantly chased after the guy who was apparently a dick about it and said that the glass was sitting there forever so he cleared it. Borgia then continued to be valiant and explained the situation to the bartender to begrudgingly poured another glass (half full) at no charge. Thank you, Borgia, for being so chivalrous and taking charge. I’m no good at complaining to the affronting parties. Especially when I’m in an ill mood.
After the wine debacle, the Bobcats took the stage. They sounded really good and were very tight with their instrumentation and dance moves. It’s clear they’ve been practicing. These guys are gonna be big. This time, they had TWO dancing robots who took to the audience to incite the boogie. Love the robots. Love the Bobcats. And now I have a demo so I can enjoy them in the comfort of my own home when I’m NOT playing DDR.

I’m not sure what time I got home. I only know I feel like ass today. Rock and roll ass. I’m not hung over, just tired and now I have a cough for some reason.

You know, I realize now that I have never had anything better than a bitter-sweet time at Chop Suey. Granted, this last time was mostly due to my mental state, but still, that place gives me the tummy rumblings.

August 2, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

dahlia 9598 bubble baths

I may have done this one (or a similar one) before. If so, sorry. But I’m still bored so…

ABOUT YOU
Your full name Jessica Kealoha Bryan Baxter. No kidding. And you thought my name was normal.
Nicknames The Baxter, Jess, Messica, Small Snell, Jezabell, Jessasaurus.
Screen Names the_baxter, i_see_toast
Birthday September 8, 1978
Astrological Sign tortured Virgo
Chinese Zodiac Sign The Horse
Location Seattle
Religion Recovering Catholic
Current Hair Color Brown, bright red and black. Partly by accident.
Height 5 foot nothing
Shoe Size 7.5-8
Parents still together? No, sir.
Siblings 1 Brother
Do they look like you Not really.
Nieces/Nephews? None at the moment. But when Optimus Prime Zook is born, I will consider he/she my niece/nephew.
Kids of your own? None that I know of.
Pets? Tobe-lerone.
In School/Graduated The second one.
Rent, lease, own? The first one.
What do you do for work? Fill out memes.
How much do you make? More than I probably should, but it’s never enough.
Have any credit cards? Who wants to know?
What do you drive? myself crazy
PREFERENCES
Black/White Black, of course.
Red/Blue Why these are pitted against each other, I don’t know. But definitely red.
Dogs/Cats Both. But you can’t have a dog in an apartment.
Roses/Daisies Daises.
Beer/Liquor Depends on the day, really. Beer makes me fat. But it’s soooo tasty.
Boxers/Briefs Boxers. But it amused me to no end when I dated a briefs man. There’s something very hilarious about a man under 30 wearing briefs.
Hair: Short/Long? I’ve done and been happy with both. Very few guys look good with long hair, though. Rob Zombie is the only one I can think of. Oh, and Dusty!
Boots/Shoes They both serve a fashionable/functional purpose. Boots in winter.
Food: Mexican/Italian I love both. Sue me.
Dark/Light In regards to what? I can’t answer these absolutes if I don’t know what they’re referring to. I am drawn to dark bars but I like a sunny day.
Day/Night They both serve a purpose.
City/Country City. Definitely. But I enjoy a holiday in the country. Namely, the Stabbin Cabbin.
Sheets: Yes/No Bottom sheet yes, top sheet no.
Chocolate Milk/Hot Chocolate Hot chocolate. But I like to call it cocoa.
McDonald’s/Burger King Burger King, only because they have a (very poor) vegetarian option and they don’t put chicken fat in their milk shakes.
Coke/Pepsi Coke
Tea/Coffee Tea
Vanilla/Chocolate Vanilla
Milk/Dark/White Chocolate Milk
Ice/No Ice No ice
Cake/Cookies Cookies
Cereal/Toast Depends on my mood.
Gum/Hard Candy Gum
Ocean/Pool Ocean. But I’d take a pool. Do you have a pool?
Marry the perfect lover/marry the perfect friend Friend
Skiing/Snowboarding Watching “Out Cold”
Biking/Blading Bikes. But I can’t bike in Seattle. I’m too much of a wuss to tackle those hills.
Gloves/Mittens Gloves.
Bunk Bed/Water Bed Water Bed! Fun!
Motorboat/Sailboat Motor boats are good for drinking and hanging out. Sail boats are good for speed. I like both. Not that I have access to either.

FAVORITES
Color Red
Animal This is impossible for me to answer definitively given that I am a vegetarian for moral reasons. But I am particularly I fond of penguins, spider monkeys, pandas, pigs, rats, cats, dogs, squirrels and elephants.
Vehicle I love the Volvo.
Flower Poppies
Scent Ocean, fresh rain, Old Spice, pot and gas.
Shape Pear
Drinks Water is my friend. I also love milk and cider.
Soda Coke
Food Yes.
Book Catcher in the Rye, Perv: A Love Story, Life After God. All these books made me weep like a baby.
Author Salinger, Coupland, Palahniuk, Dickens
Band Say it with me now…OASIS/THE CLASH
Solo Artist Buddy Holly (but he had the crickets so I’m not sure it counts…if it doesn’t count then Neil Hannon.
Movie My brain just exploded
Holiday Halloween
Season Fall or Summer
City Seattle or London
Movie Genre Horror Comedy
Sports DDR
Thing to do Drool
Thing to talk about I like to have natural conversations that aren’t dictated by topics, but often the conversation flows to movies.

DO YOU…
Color your hair? God yes
Twirl your hair? I play with it unconsciously but I wouldn’t call it twirling since it’s too straight for that.
Have tattoos? Yes.
Have piercings? Only my ears and I’m pretty sure they’ve closed up by now since I haven’t warn earrings since middle school.
Floss daily? HA!
Impersonate? I’m not sure what this means. But the only impression I can accurately do is that girl who worked in my college’s cafeteria with the elf-voice. I can also act the hell out of being trapped in a hole.
Chew gum obnoxiously? Not on purpose. But you’d have to ask Faye about that.
Cheat on tests/homework? I cheated on a chemistry test once. I was so paranoid about it and I still only got a B so I never felt it was really worth the stress.
Like roller coasters? Only the ones that look safe. Never ANY rides at fairs.
Like soap operas? When I lived in the UK, I really got into Eastenders, Emmerdale and Hollyoaks. But here, given the fact that most soaps are on while I’m at work, it’s impossible for me to keep up. I did watch Days of Our Lives when I was in college because everyone knows that college students aren’t busy. So I guess the answer is yes, I like them, but I don’t watch them.
Wish you could live somewhere else? Not as much as I wish that the things I love about other places could be true for Seattle.
Like cleaning? I think my answer to that is well publicized.
Write in cursive or print? The only thing I can remember how to write in cursive is my signature. That and Rizzuto.
Carry a donor card? Yessir.
Swear a lot? I wish that I could be more prolific sometimes but yes.
Own a webcam? Why? Have you seen me on the internet? I swear that isn’t me.
Know how to drive? In theory.
Own a cell phone? Snore.
Ever get off the damned computer? Pee breaks.
Sprechen sie Deutsch? Nein.
?Hablar Espanol? Un poquito muy horrible.
Others find you attractive? The bigger the cushion…

HAVE YOU EVER…
Gotten a speeding ticket? I talked my way out of the only one I would have ever received. Girl power.
DUI? No.
Been in a wreck? Oooh yeah.
Been arrested? Nope.
Been in a fist fight? No, but I’ve had people want to fight me. I find that when you laugh at them, it disarms them a bit. Especially when they’re 14 and you’re 17.
Kicked someone in the nuts? Yes. But I don’t think it’s ever been on purpose.
Stolen a car? Nooooo.
Stolen anything? I had a teenage shoplifting phase. I also steal glasses from bars sometimes. I’m sorry, but it’s really hard to find a nice pint glass.
Held a gun? Yes. It made me nervous. Toy guns, on the otherhand…
Smoked? Yes.
Pot? Ahem.
Crack? Not that I know of.
Drink? …
Been so drunk you couldn’t remember your name? Does that actually happen to people?
Been so drunk you didn’t care if you couldn’t remember your name? When the room is spinning, your worries become very base indeed.
Posed for nude pics? Not professionally.
Considered being a hooker? Only in that cute, Natalie Portman kind of way.
Been married? Not that I know of.
Been divorced? See above.
Cried over a girl? Yes.
Cried over a boy? YES.
Lied to someone? Maybe.
Had sex outdoors? Yes. It’s never as much fun as it sounds.
Fallen for your best friend? They weren’t my best friend until after I fell for them.
Been rejected? Oh yeah.
Used someone? Yes. But only if they deserve it.
Been used? It doesn’t feel very nice, now does it?
Been cheated on? Yes.
Been kissed? No. Never.
Experimented with homosexuality? Not as much as I’d have liked to.
Tried to kill yourself? Boy, these questions are all over the board, aren’t they? No.
Done something you regret? Not in the long run.

ARE YOU…
Phychotic? Heh. Not that I know of.
Vegetarian/Vegan? The first one.
A sexy bitch? Who you calling a bitch?

RIGHT NOW…
What are you listening to? KEXP
What time is it? 2:34 pm.
What are you wearing? A red top(!) and a black skirt.
What are you drinking? Water
What are you eating? My feelings
Who are you talking to? You, silly!

IF YOU COULD…
Be anywhere, where would you be? Not at work would be a good start…
Who would you be with? My friends.
What would you be doing? I don’t know until I get there.

WHAT WAS THE LAST…
Movie you rented? Constantine. I usually get movies from the libraryflix.
Movie you bought? Ice Pirates.
Song you listened to? Whatever’s playing on KEXP right now.
Song that was stuck in your head? “If you don’t know me by now” on account of that HILARIOUS David Brent video.
Song that you downloaded? Music from HalSparkes.com
CD you bought? The Devil’s Rejects soundtrack
Person you called? I think it was Sherrard.
TV show you watched? The Upright Citizens Brigade

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU…
Cried? A little bit Saturday night.
Cut your hair? I got a bang trim two weeks ago
Wore a skirt? Every day.
Wore a tie? Girlscouts
Were mean? Define mean.
Were sarcastic? Oh, I don’t know.
Went for a walk? I walk every day. Does that count?
Met someone new? Frank’s friend Curt last week.
Took a test? Do internet quizzes count?
Hugged someone? Yesterday. I like hugs.
Had a nightmare? Last week. It was about money.
Took a shower? This morning.
Made your bed? Probably at our housewarming a year ago.
Went online? Given that memes are inherently internet based, I find this question inane.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON…
you instant messaged? Sherrard
you yelled at? I don’t really yell. It was probably someone who ran a crosswalk. I hate it when people do that.
you laughed with? Dom?
who saw you cry? Dom? I’m a crier. I cry at TV, for fuck’s sake.
who broke your heart? Xander when he left Anya at the alter.
who’s heart you broke? I don’t really know. Most guys I’ve had relations with have seemed to handle rejection pretty well. Maybe that one guy in London who I met in a club and who thought we were instantly a couple. He got pretty pissed when I broke it off with him.

WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU DO WHEN YOU…
wake up? If it’s a weekday, I usually groan. I can’t help it. If it’s a weekend, I usually smile because it’s a weekend and then I pee.
get in the shower? Shampoo.
get out of the shower? Chase the cats around the apartment dripping wet.
get in your car? Wonder where I got the car.
get home from being gone all day? Say hello to cats and Dom.

ABOUT GUYS/GIRLS
what do you do when you see a hot guy/girl? Appreciate them.
or know someone likes you? Let ‘em down easy.
What qualities are you attracted to? Sense of humor, body hair.
What features (dark or light) are you attracted to? dark body hair.
What physical features? Beards. A nice, soft stomach. None of that “chiseled abs” crap.
Have you ever had your heart broken? Hello?
Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Didn’t we already go through this?
Have you slept with lots of boys? A lot by Mormon standards but not by Heidi Fleiss standards.
Have you slept with lots of girls? If I had, I would tell you about it.

HOW MANY…
Countries have you lived in? Two.
CD’s do you own? 500-ish.
Scars are on your body? 8 big ones. Lots of little ones.
Different illegal drugs have you taken? 3. I think.
Friends do you have that you could trust with your life? I never understood this question. I wouldn’t call someone my friend unless I thought that they cared enough about me to try and stop me from dying in whatever situation might make that an issue. I mean, I would try to stop most people from dying whether I knew them or not.
People who you consider your enemies? I have approximately 4 people in Seattle that I definitely don’t want to run into.
Times has your name appeared in a newspaper? A few. I don’t know.
Languages do you speak? 1. Ugly American.

NAME ONE…
Thing you want to know the answer to? The question to which 42 is the answer.
Thing you plan on doing on the weekend? DDR.
Think you plan on doing tomorrow? go to the chiropractor
Thing that is hard for you to do? Eat well.
Thing that annoys you? Condescension.
Food you hate that everyone else seems to love? Eggplant.
Food you love that everyone else seems to hate? Okra.
thing you wear as pajamas? Pajamas.

WHAT…
Shampoo do you use? Some crap that’s supposed to make my color last longer whilst simultaneously keeping moisture in.
Scent do you use? whatever my deodorant smells like.
Is your favorite cologne/perfume? Old Spice
Do you think of virginity? I really don’t.
Pair of shoes do you wear the most? my mary janes.
Color is your toothbrush? Purple, I think.

August 2, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Have close of amp delusion

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

Faye and I decided to have a nice, mellow evening in and watch one of the free screeners I have from Lion’s Gate. We were joined by Dom, Sherrard and Borgia. We settled on “Cross Bones”, which looked to be about a zombie pirate and “reality TV”. To say it was awful would be a gross understatement. It felt like we were watching just some guy’s really bad independent horror film. But, in fact, we were watching some guy’s really bad film that’s distributed by Lion’s Gate. What? It also, at many times, felt like we were watching audition tapes. That’s how stiff and embarrassing the acting was. Somehow we managed to make it all the way through this thing, but we decided against watching “the Off Season”, which in theory sounds great, but the trailer made it look even worse than “Cross Bones”. Instead, we decided to watch something we knew was good. So we put in “Transformers: The Movie”. I never tire of the non-stop rock and nostalgia of that film. Plus, it’s always great to watch it with someone who hasn’t seen it since they were a kid because it never fails to blow their minds when they see who supplied the voices for the movie. When you’re a kid, you don’t give two handfuls of crap about Robert Stack or Orson Wells. You just want to see some cool alien robots fight each other.

Thus, fully saturated with rays from the TV, we retired.

SATURDAY

Dom and I set out to get his windshield fixed, since it’s still cracked from “The Time I Almost Drove Dom’s Car”. We went to Novus, hoping they could just fit us in that day. No dice. Dom had to make an appointment for later this week. We also found out that the whole windshield has to be replaced and that Dom’s insurance won’t cover it, since their generous deductible is $150 higher than the actual cost of replacing the windshield. Auto insurance is so useful.
After that we had planned to go and see “Last Days” at the Varsity, so we headed over to the U-district to grab some lunch and hit the Buffalo Exchange beforehand. We had a very pleasant meal at Thai 65 and I had moderate success at Buffalo Exchange (adding a red top to my ensemble!). With 20 minutes to go before the movie started, we were about to head to the theatre when Faye called. I had thought she was going to be indisposed for much of the day as her parents were in town. But they had just left to go to a concert so she wanted to do something outdoorsy (this being a gloriously sunny day). I had been wanting to go swimming for ages, so I asked Dom if he minded us bagging out on the movie. I don’t think he really wanted to see “Last Days” anyway, so he said OK. We were just going to check 2nd Time Around real quick-like to see if they had a copy of DDR when we ran into Andrew and Chris Brugos who were…on their way to see “Last Days”. We chatted with them for a few minutes and then scanned 2nd Time Around to no avail. That’s what I get for wanting to save $10 by not purchasing a copy of the game with the pads. Instead, I ordered a copy from half.com and it still hasn’t arrived. Meanwhile, the pads sit in the living room in their boxes taunting me.
Anyway, we went home so I could grab my suit and then we picked up Faye and drove to Magnuson Park (which Mark might remember from his brief Seattle visit) to swim! It was, of course, extremely crowded, but we managed to find a small patch of grass and rock all to ourselves. Faye and I baked ourselves in the sun briefly so we could be warm enough to go into the water. Meanwhile, Dom scouted out the area. Then Faye and I ventured in to the water as well. So, at Magnuson Park, there is no sand. Only rocks. Lots of rocks that tenderize your feet. I suppose you are meant to wear sandals into the water but Faye and I weren’t about to ruin our shoes so we just tried to ignore the pain. And the algae. The water, despite looking very clear from a distance, is actually filled with a veritable forest of algae (undoubtedly cultivated in the urine of children). It’s kind of gross. But we went in anyway. The water was a pleasant temperature and I’m always a fan of playing in the wake of boats. But I never could fully get over the algae and after a while our feet couldn’t bare standing on rocks, so we stumbled back to the shore (or at least, I stumbled) and lay down in the sun for a bit before heading back to the cit-ay. Despite the way it sounds, it actually was a lot of fun. But next time, I reckon I’d like to find some cleaner water and some goddamned sand.
On our way back, we got some Slurpees and made a plan to look for DDR at Hollywood Video. If it was there, we would have a mini, indoor BBQ and play some DDR. It wasn’t there. It also wasn’t at either of the video stores on 15th (On 15th and the Other One), Rainy Day Music, or Blockbuster (that’s how desperate I had become, that I would be willing to rent from that Christian monopoly). So we gave up the ghost, had our indoor BBQ, and instead of doing something active, we watched Upright Citizens Brigade. We were joined by Sherrard. A few hours later, Faye had to go home and meet up with her parents, and Sherrard and I wandered down to the Nite Lite to meet Ryan, the Kidd, Dan and Marie. Somehow, the fact that it was Seafair weekend had eluded us and we actually had to run through a damned parade to get to our destination. Who the hell has a parade at 9:00 at night?
I would like to that this moment to declare how much I LOVE the Nite Lite. It’s really one of the few bars in Seattle where I feel 100% comfortable. The tough-as-nails woman that runs the bar is always so nice to me (and she REALLY knows how to poor a glass of wine). As divey as place looks, I feel perfectly safe there because I’m sure that if any of the bar flies tried to start something, she would dispose of them herself. I also really love the juke box there. Sure, there’s a lot of bad country on it and I haven’t spent one evening there without hearing “Friends in Low Places”, but the classic rock selection can’t be beat. It’s hard to spend a LOT of money on drinks and it’s easy to have a conversation. Of course, there are two sides to the Nite Lite. I’m not sure why that is. But my love of the Nite Lite is entirely for the Left Side. Sometimes the Left fills up or closes early and you have to go to the Right Side which is louder and less intimate. But when you can get a booth on the Left, it’s heaven.
Sherrard and I chatted for a while and waited for our friends who were in various states of delay. Ryan was waiting for some house guests to show up and Marie was lost. Both of them were held up by this Seafair foolery. Eventually, everyone was accounted for and a good time was had by all. Sherrard and I were left alone once again at the end of the evening to finish our last drinks on the Right side, before stumbling back up the hill to bed.

SUNDAY

I woke up feeling a bit despondent and began cleaning. I knew it was time to go to yoga again. I had been neglecting it for far too long. So I cleaned right up until yoga time. Naturally, since I hadn’t been to yoga in over a month, it destroyed my sorry ass. I am so sore today that it is actually impairing my walking. I needed it. After class, I stopped at Madison Market to spend too much money on vegetarian goodies and then returned home to make a nice pasta dinner and relax. I finished cleaning (who knew my bedroom had a carpet!) and watched George A. Romero’s “Bruiser” before retiring early. “Bruiser” is kinda cheesy, and not quite bloody enough for my taste, but it stars the delectable Jason Flemyng so I’m not complaining.

PS: I finally received DDR in the mail today!!! I am planning to have a Saturday afternoon DDR tournament/fondue party soon. I’m tentatively thinking the 13th or the 20th. Who’s in?

August 1, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary, Filmpinions . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

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