The party is over before it even begun. Tuesday I composed a very nice, polite letter to our downstairs neighbor which first apologized for the noise and then asked if there was any way we could come to a compromise. Since he’s old, I described DDR as “high-impact aerobics”. I told him our work schedules and that we would love to work around HIS schedule, if there is any time he won’t be home that we could continue our DDR lifestyle. Well, being the crotchety, backhanded shut-in that he is, he didn’t respond to our letter. Instead, he called our LANDLORD. Who knows what he told her, but we got a message from her yesterday saying that the guy is retired and “doesn’t have a set schedule” so unfortunately, we are just going to have to join a gym or else “do your high-impact aerobics in the parking lot”. First of all, I find it hard to believe that this fucker doesn’t have, like, a weekly pinochle game or SOMETHING when he isn’t home. Second, what kind of a fucking bastard responds to a polite letter asking for compromise, by tattling on us to the landlord? Apparently, Ponytail Santa Clause does. This backhandedness sent me into a rage that I couldn’t do ANYTHING about. I don’t get mad very often. Sure, I get annoyed plenty, but true ANGER is hard to get from me. And when I get mad, I feel an overwhelming urge to hit things. If there’s nothing to hit (which there usually isn’t), I eventually start crying. And angry crying is worse than sad crying because it doesn’t make you feel any better when you’re done. It makes you feel impotent. Of course, I AM impotent in this situation. I’ve got a big fat NO from the Powers That Be. I had all these fun plans about getting in shape and enjoying myself and having DDR parties and now NONE of that is going to happen because one lame-wad old person who happens to live below us isn’t willing to even DISCUSS the matter. No wonder he doesn’t have anything reason to leave the house. No one wants to hang out with the cantankerous old sonofabitch. From now on, it will be extremely difficult to resist the urge to randomly stomp loudly on my floor now. In fact, I did a fair bit of stomping last night.
So anyway, that’s that. I have $100 worth of DDR equipment that I can never use in my own home. At least not until this guy dies. So…who has a first floor apartment or house and wants to play DDR one of these days?
I will still have a fondue party though. Still tentatively for the 20th. Because I am going to make use of that fondue pot, goddamnit. We can fill our bellies with cheese and then, instead of burning it off, we can lounge around and let it coagulate in our stomachs whilst watching a movie. I just have to think of the perfect movie (preferably with lots of bass pounding out of the sub-woofer) to accompany a cheese orgy. Any suggestions?
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