I put it grasp mastodon

Oh unhappy day. I bounded home yesterday, so excited that I would finally be able to play DDR in my own home. Dom and I played a few test games and then Faye came over and we put her in the mix. We’d been playing for nary an hour when there was a knock on the door. Dom answered and apparently found the strange site of our downstairs neighbor dressed in red long johns and sporting huge glasses and a long, grey ponytail. He said that it sounded like a circus up here and could we please stop the noise. This was at approximately 8pm. I suppose the lateness could be debated, but he didn’t even say it was late. Just that his apartment was shaking. Fair enough to a DEGREE. But there are a few good arguments to me made. 1) Living in an apartment is shared space, true. But it’s also not a goddamned library. If we’re making some noise at a reasonable hour, I think it’s fair game. I’ve lived in apartments for years and had noisy neighbors. I didn’t ask the man who was constantly yelling at his kid to stop yelling. I didn’t ask the weekday partiers above me to shut up (only once when it was 2 in the morning on a Wednesday and they had been having weeknight parties for several weeks). I didn’t ask the dysfunctional couple to please stop fighting. I certainly don’t ask the demolition crew across the street to stop demolishing just because I’m home sick on a weekday and can’t sleep through their bulldozer. Why? Because these things happen. Faye said people have to live their lives and she’s right. There’s an unwritten rule that after 10 on a weekday, you should be quiet. I respect that. I’ve always respected that. I have a lot of good neighbor karma and that brings me to argument #2) I paid $100 for DDR and goddamnit, I want to play it! That might not be a GOOD argument, but it’s an argument nonetheless. What about all the people who do Tai Bo? Surely people who exercise in their apartment make noise. Should they instead get a gym membership? No. They just shouldn’t exercise late at night. It’s possible that this guy works a night shift. If so, I’m willing to work around his schedule. But I can’t NOT play DDR now that I have it. Come on, weird Santa! Work with me here! So, at the suggestion of many people, I am going to write a note to him today apologizing for the noise yesterday, explaining to him that this is basically exercise (because I think saying “I want to play a video game” wouldn’t be nearly as effective) and that if there’s an hour a day that we can agree on which would allow me to do this and him to do whatever it is he does, then that would be super swell. I will see how that goes before I ask him about the tentative DDR party on the 20th, which, I would like to add, I had already planned to be in the middle of the day on a Saturday. See what a good neighbor I am?

Well, that whole situation put me in a bit of a funk last night. I was in a right foul mood when we arrived at the Moniker/Bobcats/Some other bands show at Chop Suey. I had originally decided I wasn’t going to drink but bad moods facilitate need for alcohol so I bought me a house white and stewed in my glass. The first band was a chick-fronted number from Canada who were so-so. The second band was Moniker and they sounded amazing. Faye and I were mesmerized by the drums which were hooked up to some sort of machine that made them sound artificial. But they weren’t. They were being played live! Awesome! The third band sounded like a cross between Nine Inch Nails and New Order and I admit I enjoyed them in all their silliness. They played a cover of “Just Like Heaven” which got people dancing. By then I was on my third glass of wine which I had left at the back table under the care of Faye and Borgia so I could go to the bathroom. Being borderline drunk at that point, I lost track of time as I chatted with Sherrard. When I returned to the table, perhaps half an hour later, my wine was gone. Borgia said that an employee had cleared it. I have no idea why, as it was at least half full. There was approximately $3 worth of overpriced wine in that glass. Borgia valiantly chased after the guy who was apparently a dick about it and said that the glass was sitting there forever so he cleared it. Borgia then continued to be valiant and explained the situation to the bartender to begrudgingly poured another glass (half full) at no charge. Thank you, Borgia, for being so chivalrous and taking charge. I’m no good at complaining to the affronting parties. Especially when I’m in an ill mood.
After the wine debacle, the Bobcats took the stage. They sounded really good and were very tight with their instrumentation and dance moves. It’s clear they’ve been practicing. These guys are gonna be big. This time, they had TWO dancing robots who took to the audience to incite the boogie. Love the robots. Love the Bobcats. And now I have a demo so I can enjoy them in the comfort of my own home when I’m NOT playing DDR.

I’m not sure what time I got home. I only know I feel like ass today. Rock and roll ass. I’m not hung over, just tired and now I have a cough for some reason.

You know, I realize now that I have never had anything better than a bitter-sweet time at Chop Suey. Granted, this last time was mostly due to my mental state, but still, that place gives me the tummy rumblings.

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dahlia 9598 bubble baths

I may have done this one (or a similar one) before. If so, sorry. But I’m still bored so…

ABOUT YOU
Your full name Jessica Kealoha Bryan Baxter. No kidding. And you thought my name was normal.
Nicknames The Baxter, Jess, Messica, Small Snell, Jezabell, Jessasaurus.
Screen Names the_baxter, i_see_toast
Birthday September 8, 1978
Astrological Sign tortured Virgo
Chinese Zodiac Sign The Horse
Location Seattle
Religion Recovering Catholic
Current Hair Color Brown, bright red and black. Partly by accident.
Height 5 foot nothing
Shoe Size 7.5-8
Parents still together? No, sir.
Siblings 1 Brother
Do they look like you Not really.
Nieces/Nephews? None at the moment. But when Optimus Prime Zook is born, I will consider he/she my niece/nephew.
Kids of your own? None that I know of.
Pets? Tobe-lerone.
In School/Graduated The second one.
Rent, lease, own? The first one.
What do you do for work? Fill out memes.
How much do you make? More than I probably should, but it’s never enough.
Have any credit cards? Who wants to know?
What do you drive? myself crazy
PREFERENCES
Black/White Black, of course.
Red/Blue Why these are pitted against each other, I don’t know. But definitely red.
Dogs/Cats Both. But you can’t have a dog in an apartment.
Roses/Daisies Daises.
Beer/Liquor Depends on the day, really. Beer makes me fat. But it’s soooo tasty.
Boxers/Briefs Boxers. But it amused me to no end when I dated a briefs man. There’s something very hilarious about a man under 30 wearing briefs.
Hair: Short/Long? I’ve done and been happy with both. Very few guys look good with long hair, though. Rob Zombie is the only one I can think of. Oh, and Dusty!
Boots/Shoes They both serve a fashionable/functional purpose. Boots in winter.
Food: Mexican/Italian I love both. Sue me.
Dark/Light In regards to what? I can’t answer these absolutes if I don’t know what they’re referring to. I am drawn to dark bars but I like a sunny day.
Day/Night They both serve a purpose.
City/Country City. Definitely. But I enjoy a holiday in the country. Namely, the Stabbin Cabbin.
Sheets: Yes/No Bottom sheet yes, top sheet no.
Chocolate Milk/Hot Chocolate Hot chocolate. But I like to call it cocoa.
McDonald’s/Burger King Burger King, only because they have a (very poor) vegetarian option and they don’t put chicken fat in their milk shakes.
Coke/Pepsi Coke
Tea/Coffee Tea
Vanilla/Chocolate Vanilla
Milk/Dark/White Chocolate Milk
Ice/No Ice No ice
Cake/Cookies Cookies
Cereal/Toast Depends on my mood.
Gum/Hard Candy Gum
Ocean/Pool Ocean. But I’d take a pool. Do you have a pool?
Marry the perfect lover/marry the perfect friend Friend
Skiing/Snowboarding Watching “Out Cold”
Biking/Blading Bikes. But I can’t bike in Seattle. I’m too much of a wuss to tackle those hills.
Gloves/Mittens Gloves.
Bunk Bed/Water Bed Water Bed! Fun!
Motorboat/Sailboat Motor boats are good for drinking and hanging out. Sail boats are good for speed. I like both. Not that I have access to either.

FAVORITES
Color Red
Animal This is impossible for me to answer definitively given that I am a vegetarian for moral reasons. But I am particularly I fond of penguins, spider monkeys, pandas, pigs, rats, cats, dogs, squirrels and elephants.
Vehicle I love the Volvo.
Flower Poppies
Scent Ocean, fresh rain, Old Spice, pot and gas.
Shape Pear
Drinks Water is my friend. I also love milk and cider.
Soda Coke
Food Yes.
Book Catcher in the Rye, Perv: A Love Story, Life After God. All these books made me weep like a baby.
Author Salinger, Coupland, Palahniuk, Dickens
Band Say it with me now…OASIS/THE CLASH
Solo Artist Buddy Holly (but he had the crickets so I’m not sure it counts…if it doesn’t count then Neil Hannon.
Movie My brain just exploded
Holiday Halloween
Season Fall or Summer
City Seattle or London
Movie Genre Horror Comedy
Sports DDR
Thing to do Drool
Thing to talk about I like to have natural conversations that aren’t dictated by topics, but often the conversation flows to movies.

DO YOU…
Color your hair? God yes
Twirl your hair? I play with it unconsciously but I wouldn’t call it twirling since it’s too straight for that.
Have tattoos? Yes.
Have piercings? Only my ears and I’m pretty sure they’ve closed up by now since I haven’t warn earrings since middle school.
Floss daily? HA!
Impersonate? I’m not sure what this means. But the only impression I can accurately do is that girl who worked in my college’s cafeteria with the elf-voice. I can also act the hell out of being trapped in a hole.
Chew gum obnoxiously? Not on purpose. But you’d have to ask Faye about that.
Cheat on tests/homework? I cheated on a chemistry test once. I was so paranoid about it and I still only got a B so I never felt it was really worth the stress.
Like roller coasters? Only the ones that look safe. Never ANY rides at fairs.
Like soap operas? When I lived in the UK, I really got into Eastenders, Emmerdale and Hollyoaks. But here, given the fact that most soaps are on while I’m at work, it’s impossible for me to keep up. I did watch Days of Our Lives when I was in college because everyone knows that college students aren’t busy. So I guess the answer is yes, I like them, but I don’t watch them.
Wish you could live somewhere else? Not as much as I wish that the things I love about other places could be true for Seattle.
Like cleaning? I think my answer to that is well publicized.
Write in cursive or print? The only thing I can remember how to write in cursive is my signature. That and Rizzuto.
Carry a donor card? Yessir.
Swear a lot? I wish that I could be more prolific sometimes but yes.
Own a webcam? Why? Have you seen me on the internet? I swear that isn’t me.
Know how to drive? In theory.
Own a cell phone? Snore.
Ever get off the damned computer? Pee breaks.
Sprechen sie Deutsch? Nein.
?Hablar Espanol? Un poquito muy horrible.
Others find you attractive? The bigger the cushion…

HAVE YOU EVER…
Gotten a speeding ticket? I talked my way out of the only one I would have ever received. Girl power.
DUI? No.
Been in a wreck? Oooh yeah.
Been arrested? Nope.
Been in a fist fight? No, but I’ve had people want to fight me. I find that when you laugh at them, it disarms them a bit. Especially when they’re 14 and you’re 17.
Kicked someone in the nuts? Yes. But I don’t think it’s ever been on purpose.
Stolen a car? Nooooo.
Stolen anything? I had a teenage shoplifting phase. I also steal glasses from bars sometimes. I’m sorry, but it’s really hard to find a nice pint glass.
Held a gun? Yes. It made me nervous. Toy guns, on the otherhand…
Smoked? Yes.
Pot? Ahem.
Crack? Not that I know of.
Drink?
Been so drunk you couldn’t remember your name? Does that actually happen to people?
Been so drunk you didn’t care if you couldn’t remember your name? When the room is spinning, your worries become very base indeed.
Posed for nude pics? Not professionally.
Considered being a hooker? Only in that cute, Natalie Portman kind of way.
Been married? Not that I know of.
Been divorced? See above.
Cried over a girl? Yes.
Cried over a boy? YES.
Lied to someone? Maybe.
Had sex outdoors? Yes. It’s never as much fun as it sounds.
Fallen for your best friend? They weren’t my best friend until after I fell for them.
Been rejected? Oh yeah.
Used someone? Yes. But only if they deserve it.
Been used? It doesn’t feel very nice, now does it?
Been cheated on? Yes.
Been kissed? No. Never.
Experimented with homosexuality? Not as much as I’d have liked to.
Tried to kill yourself? Boy, these questions are all over the board, aren’t they? No.
Done something you regret? Not in the long run.

ARE YOU…
Phychotic? Heh. Not that I know of.
Vegetarian/Vegan? The first one.
A sexy bitch? Who you calling a bitch?

RIGHT NOW…
What are you listening to? KEXP
What time is it? 2:34 pm.
What are you wearing? A red top(!) and a black skirt.
What are you drinking? Water
What are you eating? My feelings
Who are you talking to? You, silly!

IF YOU COULD…
Be anywhere, where would you be? Not at work would be a good start…
Who would you be with? My friends.
What would you be doing? I don’t know until I get there.

WHAT WAS THE LAST…
Movie you rented? Constantine. I usually get movies from the libraryflix.
Movie you bought? Ice Pirates.
Song you listened to? Whatever’s playing on KEXP right now.
Song that was stuck in your head? “If you don’t know me by now” on account of that HILARIOUS David Brent video.
Song that you downloaded? Music from HalSparkes.com
CD you bought? The Devil’s Rejects soundtrack
Person you called? I think it was Sherrard.
TV show you watched? The Upright Citizens Brigade

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU…
Cried? A little bit Saturday night.
Cut your hair? I got a bang trim two weeks ago
Wore a skirt? Every day.
Wore a tie? Girlscouts
Were mean? Define mean.
Were sarcastic? Oh, I don’t know.
Went for a walk? I walk every day. Does that count?
Met someone new? Frank’s friend Curt last week.
Took a test? Do internet quizzes count?
Hugged someone? Yesterday. I like hugs.
Had a nightmare? Last week. It was about money.
Took a shower? This morning.
Made your bed? Probably at our housewarming a year ago.
Went online? Given that memes are inherently internet based, I find this question inane.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON…
you instant messaged? Sherrard
you yelled at? I don’t really yell. It was probably someone who ran a crosswalk. I hate it when people do that.
you laughed with? Dom?
who saw you cry? Dom? I’m a crier. I cry at TV, for fuck’s sake.
who broke your heart? Xander when he left Anya at the alter.
who’s heart you broke? I don’t really know. Most guys I’ve had relations with have seemed to handle rejection pretty well. Maybe that one guy in London who I met in a club and who thought we were instantly a couple. He got pretty pissed when I broke it off with him.

WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU DO WHEN YOU…
wake up? If it’s a weekday, I usually groan. I can’t help it. If it’s a weekend, I usually smile because it’s a weekend and then I pee.
get in the shower? Shampoo.
get out of the shower? Chase the cats around the apartment dripping wet.
get in your car? Wonder where I got the car.
get home from being gone all day? Say hello to cats and Dom.

ABOUT GUYS/GIRLS
what do you do when you see a hot guy/girl? Appreciate them.
or know someone likes you? Let ‘em down easy.
What qualities are you attracted to? Sense of humor, body hair.
What features (dark or light) are you attracted to? dark body hair.
What physical features? Beards. A nice, soft stomach. None of that “chiseled abs” crap.
Have you ever had your heart broken? Hello?
Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Didn’t we already go through this?
Have you slept with lots of boys? A lot by Mormon standards but not by Heidi Fleiss standards.
Have you slept with lots of girls? If I had, I would tell you about it.

HOW MANY…
Countries have you lived in? Two.
CD’s do you own? 500-ish.
Scars are on your body? 8 big ones. Lots of little ones.
Different illegal drugs have you taken? 3. I think.
Friends do you have that you could trust with your life? I never understood this question. I wouldn’t call someone my friend unless I thought that they cared enough about me to try and stop me from dying in whatever situation might make that an issue. I mean, I would try to stop most people from dying whether I knew them or not.
People who you consider your enemies? I have approximately 4 people in Seattle that I definitely don’t want to run into.
Times has your name appeared in a newspaper? A few. I don’t know.
Languages do you speak? 1. Ugly American.

NAME ONE…
Thing you want to know the answer to? The question to which 42 is the answer.
Thing you plan on doing on the weekend? DDR.
Think you plan on doing tomorrow? go to the chiropractor
Thing that is hard for you to do? Eat well.
Thing that annoys you? Condescension.
Food you hate that everyone else seems to love? Eggplant.
Food you love that everyone else seems to hate? Okra.
thing you wear as pajamas? Pajamas.

WHAT…
Shampoo do you use? Some crap that’s supposed to make my color last longer whilst simultaneously keeping moisture in.
Scent do you use? whatever my deodorant smells like.
Is your favorite cologne/perfume? Old Spice
Do you think of virginity? I really don’t.
Pair of shoes do you wear the most? my mary janes.
Color is your toothbrush? Purple, I think.