I Miss Ashley

I’m having a hard time watching Rock of Love Bus now that all the interesting/crazy girls are gone. My earlier predictions about Ashley were incorrect. Not only did she go home early (for the same reason as her draggy predecessor, Daisy…she was still living and having sex with her ex) she was also revealed to be a woman…and the mother of two children!! The baby mamas on ROL certainly raising (and I use that term loosely) an army of psychological messes. But I digress…

Having only normal ladies left just makes Bret Michaels’ misogyny/hypocrisy all the more apparent. If his the ladies refuse to obey his whims and wear his shitty “Carnivale” outfits, he calls them a buzz kill. If they keep mum about their displeasure, he blames them for not saying what’s on their mind. If what’s on their mind isn’t playing tonsil hockey with him, he says they’re in a funk and jams his tongue in their mouths anyway. He gets upset if they promote their business on national television while he, Bret Michaels, wears a fucking t-shirt with his own name on it. He can’t understand why the girls get upset on group dates and takes turns groping them but if they don’t get jealous then he accuses them of being there “for the wrong reasons”. He wants someone who can “roll” on the road and who loves his music but he doesn’t want a groupie. In short, he keeps changing his tune because he obviously doesn’t care about finding love. He’s just trying to find as many ways as possible to prolong his narcissistic fantasy of a house/bus full of sluts who will do anything he asks of them.


Dick.

If he weren’t Bret Michaels, he would not be able to get away with this shit. In fact, I don’t understand why Bret Michaels is allowed to get away with this shit. He is a talentless 90s throwback. And he’s clearly balding. He is a spoiled 5 year old who has gotten his way for too long. I know, I know. This is not a revelation. This has all been pretty clear from the beginning. But you have to admit the blonde train wrecks were pretty entertaining. There were long stretches of show which had no Bret Michaels at all. Just women who stuffed their triple E cups into sparkly clothing scraps, got plowed, said hilarious things and then fell over. But now it’s just 3 semi-average girls with low self-esteem bitching at each other and Bret trying to make out with them. It’s nauseatingly boring as well as just plain nauseating.

Only one more episode to go so I might as well watch it. Though I don’t really care who he picks as his “rock of love” at this point. I don’t think he does either. He’s too busy planning season 4.

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