Dancing with the Stars Proves America is a Jerk

I never got into viewer-decided competition programming. I have still never seen an episode of American Idol though I’m still well averse in the vocabulary. I know all about Simon, Paula, Ryan Seacrest, William Hung, etc. I couldn’t ignore it if I tried. And believe me, I have tried.

Consequently, I was never interested in Dancing with the Stars. Who cares if fading celebrities can ballroom dance? I didn’t care if they could do circus tricks either. There was nothing they could do to get me to tune in. Until they brought in the Guttes…

steveguttenbergI love Steve Guttenberg. LOVE him. His movie persona was ingrained in me as a child and I never stopped appreciating him. He of the curly locks, inappropriately tight pants, dorky grin and patch of chest hair. He’s the most wholesome guy to ever play smarmy and the smarmiest guy to ever play wholesome. And then he reinvented himself as a bad guy on one of the greatest TV shows of the last 10 years, Veronica Mars. The guy is practically a genius.

But whoo boy, he cannot dance. Not a bit. I checked out DWTS for him and him only and expected to watch only until he got kicked off. It was pretty clear from the get-go that he didn’t have long. But then something unexpected happened. I developed a girl crush on Shannon Elizabeth. Continue reading

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