Between me and you.

I think that part of the reason I am such a pack rat, is because I have a REALLY hard time remembering things the way they really were. I have always been this way so I know it has little to do with the constant murdering of brain cells via illicit substances. It's just something in my nature that remembers things in hyperbole and forgets details that would otherwise change the tone of said memory. I spent much of the day going through my stuff and deciding what I would keep for another move and what I would throw away. At least 5 trash bags later, I am worn out both physically and emotionally. (Let's not mention how pathetic it is that I have thrown out all of this stuff and my room still looks a chaotic, cluttered mess.) The cards and letters that are now sitting in my dumpster are, in a way, me resigning myself to forgetting the details of certain things. In other words, today is the last day I will see a snapshot of that moment in time, and therefore the last time I will be accurately reminded of it. The whole process reminds me a little too much of Eternal Sunshine.

Anyway, sorry about the gloomy post. I'm sure the rainy day has much to do with my mood. The good news is that I found an apartment and will be signing the lease tomorrow. It's cheap, big enough so that I won't feel cramped but still small enough so that I (hopefully) can't amass this much crap again for a while, and it's still within the 15th avenue area, so I can still call the Canterbury my local. Plus, it's a basement apartment which means that I can stomp about to my heart's content without disturbing any elderly shut-ins below me. (In other words, as soon as I can purchase a Playstation of my very own, I will be having a Revolution of the Dancing kind). My landlady is a bit, ahem, eccentric. But I doubt I will have to interact with her much after the paperwork is shuffled.


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