jwakeup rat insult

The weekend recap isn't done yet cos I'm working on moooooovie stuff. In the meantime, it's memetime.

1. My Dad Once: solved crimes. Seriously. He was a detective in the Air Force.

2. Never in my life: have I enjoyed a Julia Roberts movie.

3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile: Meep.

4. High School was: way different for me than it was for everyone else I currently know.

6. My first real love was: Optimus Prime.

7. If I were to get married right now my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be: God, who of my friends would I torture to be bridesmaids? Meep would obviously be Maid of Honor. How many do I get? And I would probably have to put Sherwood there somewhere too, just so I could make him wear a purple frilly thing.

8. I get nervous when: I know I'm supposed to be pitching myself to important people.

9. When I was 5: I saw my first horror movie, Poltergeist.

10. Last Christmas I: actually enjoyed myself because I was not with my immediate family or convalescing.

11. When I turn my head left: I see what’s to the left of me.

12. When I turn my head right: it cracks.

13. The craziest Family Event was: the last Christmas I spent with my mom’s side in Fairfield, CT. Several people got drunk (myself included), fought (I hid in the basement) and cried and my Grandmother said that Cubans are taking our jobs. This from a woman who’s parents immigrated in 1901 and who has never worked a day in her life.

14. If I was a character on Friends I'd be: the nemesis of the main characters.

15. By this time next year: I’ll be in pre-production.

16. My favorite day is: Saturday.

17. I have a hard time understanding: why people can't stand on the right on escalators.

18. One time at: hippie camp, I got poison ivy on my neck from a boy I made out with.

19. You know I “like” you if: I try to pat your tummy.

20. If I won an award, the first person (people) I'd thank would be: the people who gave me the award.

21. Take my advice: never lend money to a man with a sense of humor.

22. My ideal breakfast is: the full English, with veggie meats.

23. If you visit my hometown: you would think it was really pretty but very boring and backward.

24. If you spend the night at my house: Tobe would sleep on your chest.

25. I'd stop my wedding if: I woke up from the roofies and realized what was happening.

26. The world could do without: fur coats.

27. I'd rather have: a beer.

28. My favorite blonde is: Amanda.

29. Paper clips are more useful than: children.

30. If I do anything well, it is: making schedules in Excel.

32. The last time I laughed: was yesterday, hanging out with Meep. We laugh a lot.

33. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds: flightless birds?

34. I shouldn't be: so tired, after all the sleep I got last night.

35. Once, at a bar: Once? Yeah right.

36. Last night: Meep and I watched Blade: Trinity, which I think must have been written by a 12-year-old boy.

37. There's this girl I know who: is in this totally rad band.

38. A better name for me would be: Chesty LaRue.

39. When I go back to college I'll: hit on Freshmen.

40. Next time I go to church: God will smite me.

meme me

This could be fun. For me, anyway. YOU GUYS fill in the blanks in the comments section to see how well you know me. No cheating by looking at old memes!

my name:

Where did we meet:

How long have you known me:

When is the last time that we saw each other:

Do I smoke:

Do I drink:

When is my birthday:

What was your first impression of upon meeting me:

Do I have any siblings:

What's one of my favorite things to do:

Am I funny:

What's my favorite type of music:

What is the best feature about me:

Am I shy or outgoing:

Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:

Do I have any special talents:

Would you consider me a friend/good friend:

Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy,
snobby, or something else (what):

What is a memory we have once had:

Have you ever hugged me:

Do you want me:

Do you miss me…do you think i miss you:

What is my favorite food:

Have you ever had a crush on me:

If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:

What's your favorite memory of me:

Who do I like right now:

What is my worst habit:

If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would I bring?

Are we friends:

Will you repost this so I can do it for you?:

Borg Turns out

Some douche bag pitted 100 (or so) Classic Rock and Metal artists against each other for the ultimate pointless survey meme! Who do you like better? Do you even like metal at all? Pretend that you do and take this meme! Rock on!

1. The Beatles or The Rolling Stones? The Beatles.

2. Queen or The Eagles? Queen.

3. Ozzy or Dio? Ozzy.

4. Iron Maiden or Judas Priest? Priest.

5. Jimi Hendrix or Stevie Ray Vaughn? Hendrix.

6. The Beach Boys or The Monkees? MONKEES!!

7. Steve Vai, Yngwie Malmsteen or Joe Satriani? I really don’t care for any of them.

8. Led Zeppelin or The Who? The Who.

9. Pink Floyd or Yes? Yes.

10. Queensryche or Rush? Queenryche simply because Geddy Lee may be the best bass player ever, but his voice annoys the crap out of me.

11. Lynyrd Skynyrd or Creedence Clearwater Revival (CCR)? CCR

12. KISS or AC/DC? Kiss.

13. Nirvana or Pearl Jam? Nirvana.

14. Favorite Member of the Beatles? I’m going to have to be a big hippie and say John.

15. Favorite Member of the Who? What if I’d said I preferred Zeppelin? I like Townshend.

16. Dark Side of the Moon or The Wall? The one that sounds good when you’re high.

17. Guns N' Roses or Motley Crue? G n’ R.

18. Ratt or Quiet Riot? Quiet Riot.

19. Bob Dylan or Eric Clapton? Dylan before he hocked underwear.

20. Hair Metal or Heavy Metal? Hair.

21. The Clash or The Sex Pistols? The Clash, duh.

22. The Mars Volta or Coheed & Cambria? I’m uniformed.

23. Black Sabbath or Deep Purple?

24. Randy Rhodes or Zack Wylde? I don’t care.

25. Aerosmith or Bon Jovi? Bon Jovi’s acting career.

26. David Lee Roth or Sammy Haggar? They’re both twats.

27. Van Halen or Def Leppard? Def Leppard!

28. Brian Johnson or Bon Scott? Don’t care.

29. Velvet Revolver or Audioslave? Soundgarden.

30. Grace Slick or Janis Joplin? Starship.

31. Woodstock or Ozzfest? ChefAide.

32. Elton John or Billy Joel? Elton before he wrote before cartoon lions.

33. Journey or Foreigner? Why must I choose? Ok, Journey.

34. Kazaa or Napster? I don’t care.

35. Beastie Boys or Run DMC? Beasties.

36. Cinderella or Whitesnake? Coverdale/Page.

37. U2 or REM? REM, mainly because I HATE U2.

38. Motorhead or Metallica? MOTORHEAD!

39. Dream Theater or King Crimson? Smashing Pumpkins.

40. Boston or Blue Oyster Cult? Boston.

41. The Cure or The Smiths? The Cure.

42. Tom Petty or Dire Straits? Tom Petty

43. Jethro Tull or The Doors? The Doors. Is this even a fair comparison?

44. Poison or the Scorpions? Poison.

45. Skid Row or Twisted Sister? Skid Row.

46. Smashing Pumpkins or Radiohead? Rodeohead.

47. Kansas or Nazareth? Why wasn’t Kansas pitted against Boston? Something is screwy here.

48. ZZ Top or Blackfoot? Those vampires in “Sundown”.

49. Steve Miller Band or Marshall Tucker Band? The Twitty/Stevens Connection.

50. Ted Nugent or Peter Frampton? Frampton on account of the fact that he doesn’t raise animals only to hunt them down with a crossbow in his back yard.

Star Watch: Brendan Fletcher

350px-max_millerTonight’s Supernatural (Episode 1.14 – Nightmare) was the best episode of the season so far. Between Jensen Ackles’ wacky physical comedy with cocktail wieners, some really over-dramatic acting by guest stars, Jared Padalecki’s poor facial acting and the freaky-good acting of that pale, sweaty fellow, Brendan Fletcher. I was really enjoying every minute of it. That pretty much settles my internal debate on whether or not I want to get the series on DVD. I must be able to watch that episode over and over again. Or at least just the funeral scene with “Father Simmons and Father Frehley”.

Next Week: Supernatural: Hostel!

An interesting bit of trivia: Despite being only 24 years old, the odd fellow has been in 65 shows and movies, including such favorites as “Freddy vs. Jason”, “Ginger Snaps: Unleashed”, “Ginger Snaps: The Beginning”, an episode of Tru Calling and Alone in the Dark! It looks like his career has been heavy with the horror, so perhaps we should get his people on the phone before he gets all famous and demandy.

+ by wakeup precondition

1. When showering, do you start the water and then get in?
Only people who like sharp blasts of cold water would do otherwise.

2. Do you read the labels on your shampoo bottle?

3. Do you moan in the shower like the people on the herbal essence commercial?
Only if I’m not in there alone.

4. Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex?
See above.

5. Have you ever been forced to shower with your siblings?
No. My brother is 8 years older than me.

6. Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?

7.) Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot?
Yes. And shampoo bottles which are more painful.

8. How old do you really look?
I’ve gotten everything from 22-27.

9. How old do you act?

10. What's the last song you sang?
Out Loud? “Fat Bottom Girls”.

11. Have you recently become a member of anything?
TPS per Dom.

12. What are your plans for the weekend?
A film premiere on Friday and a matinee of Final Destination 3, followed by a performance by the Tangents on Saturday!

13. Do you kiss with your eyes opened or closed?
Fast kisses are usually open, so as to avoid injury. Slow kisses are closed.

14. Do you ever intentionally vomit after eating?
All of my vomiting is unintentional.

15. Have you ever called anyone a slut?

16. Have you ever been called a slut?
Yes. Funnily enough, it was during a time when I’d only ever slept with one guy. I was kissing a lot of people though.

17. Have you ever smuggled something into America?
Does Solpadine count? I wasn’t really hiding the fact that I had 3 boxes of it. I was just planning on telling them, if they asked, that I got really sick while I was on vacation.

18. Does playing the guitar make a guy more attractive?

19. Have you ever finished off the popcorn?
Yes. Why? Is that a bad thing?

20. How many people do you think would come to your funeral?
I’m sure I have no idea. But I just finished writing my will which calls for a big happy wake, so I’m sure lots of people are gonna want to crash that one.

21. How many of them would come just to make sure you're dead?
I think that if anyone hated me that much, I would know about it.

22. Do you have more enemies or more friends?
I have many nemeses, but they don’t know that. I have a few people I never want to see again, but I wouldn’t call them my enemy, because they aren’t actively trying to hurt me or anyone I care about at this moment.

23. Have you ever sent an anonymous letter?
Nope. If I have the guts to write the letter, I will want to sign it.

24. Can you fix your own car?
Yes. Invisible cars are very easy to fix.

25. Have you ever turned someone down for a date?

26. Are you smarter than your friends?
No. I don’t enjoy hanging out with people who can’t hold a conversation.

27. Have you ever been arrested?

28. Have you been beaten up?

29. Should you have?
No way. I’m a nice girl!

30. Do you like the taste of beer?
Unfortunately for my waist line.

31. Have you ever died or killed someone in a dream?

32. Have you ever given to charity?

33. Would you kill a dog for $1000?
It's one of the few things I wouldn't do for any price.

34. Do you sometimes get depressed?:

Of course.

35. Do you live with your parents?

and suddenly asked sternly:

1. Spell your last name backward?

Retxab. A new drug for penile dysfunction.

2. Story behind your first name:

My parents almost named me Matilda (which would have been awesome), but changed their minds at the last minute and went with the then uncommon, Jessica. That year, Jessica was the #1 name chosen for a girl, resulting in years at school of being known as Jessica B. or Jessica #3.

3. When's your birthday:

September 8.

4. Where do you live?

Seattle, WA


5. Wallet:

A dirty leopard print wallet from the Bon.

6. Eyes:

They’re blue.

7. Toothbrush:

A turquoise GUM brand I got free from the dentist.

8. Jewelry worn:

A Celtic knot ring that used to belong to Dom’s mother.

9. Cell Phone:

A 3+ year old Erickson with no frills and an Opus sticker on the back. Ring tone: Shpadoinkle Day!

10. Pillow cover right now:


11. Car:

Public Transportation!

12. Bedroom:

Actually clean for once, since I had to make sure there wasn’t anything Tobe could vengefully pee on while I was away.

13. Sunglasses:

Some cheap ones from the drug store. I never pay more than $15 for sunglasses or umbrellas because I will ALWAYS lose or break them.

14. Cologne/Perfume:


15. CD in stereo right now:

I-pod shuffle.

16. What you are wearing now:

Red paisley skirt, black top and cardigan.

17. Wishing:

For some generous and adventurous investors.

18. Wanting:

To quit my job.

19. What are you doing After this:

Back to work.

20. If you could get away with it and murder anyone who would it be:

Well, I don’t even believe in the death penalty, but I wish something very bad would happen to Lil’ D.

21. Person you wish you could see right now:

Dom and Faye.

22. Some of your favorite movies:

Back to the Future
Wet Hot American Summer
I shant go on.

23. Something you're looking forward to in the coming week:

Seeing a matinee of Final Destination 3 with Faye.

24.Something you just ate:

Haven't eaten yet. So hungry…

25. Something you are deathly afraid of:

After seeing “The Descent”, spelunking.

26. Do you like candles:


27. Do you like incense:

Not really. It makes me sneeze and smells like hippies.

28. Do you like the taste of blood:

Not really, but I’m not above sucking a papercut.

29. Do you believe in love:


30. Do you believe in love at first sight:


31. Do you believe in Heaven:


32. Do you believe in God:

Not any forms of God I’ve heard of so far.

33. Can you eat with chopsticks:

Yes, but apparently, my form is poor.

34. What's your favorite coin:

The ones that buy me stuff.

35. What are some of your favorite candies:

Sour Patch Kids, Mambos, Tootsie Rolls, Almond Joy, Cinnamon Bears.

36. What's something you wish you could understand better:

Human Nature.

37. Are you shy around your crush:


38. Do you know what it feels like to be in love:


39. Would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friend?:

Everything can be replaced except friends and pets.

I study furtive


My Friday evening began uncertainly, as I had been waiting all day to see if I would be able to go to Tacoma with the Bobcats. Unfortunately, it was not in the cards, as they could offer me a ride down, but not a ride back. I had no problem taking the bus, but the last bus to Seattle would have had me leaving at 10:30, hardly worth the trip.

Instead, I met Meep, Andrew, Brugos, Justin, and Sherwood at Kozak’s. I really like the food and atmosphere (extremely mellow) there, but I have to say that their on-tap cider, Woodchuck, leaves a very unpleasant aftertaste that makes me feel as though I’ve imbibed a packet of Smarties. As it is indeed mellow at Kozak’s, our time there was uneventful.

We lost Andrew, and then moseyed up the street to The Canterbury. That is one bar that has DEFINITELY suffered since the smoking ban. Not so much with clientèle, but with the fact that the lack of smoke leaves the various pukey, pungent odors of the place to roam freely to our noses. Someone really needs to flood that place with bleach.

We sat in the back, and Brugos severely beat my ass for two rounds of shuffle board. To be fair (to me), it was only the second time I’d played the game. Unlike pool for me, alcohol does NOT improve my shuffle board skills.

Everyone was pretty tired (the theme of the weekend, actually), so we decided to call it a night…after one more drink at a new place up the street called 22 Doors.

22 Doors is definitely not our scene. The music they played was loud and repetitive. Their drinks (apart from the PBR) were overpriced, and their food (even though we weren’t eating), was poncy and infused with various herbs meant to sound impressive. I don’t know how it happened, but even though I was about to fall asleep AT the table, I managed to stay out till 1:30 in the morning. I guess my inner party child refused to let my outward old lady waste a Friday.

Saturday was a day full of designs that never came to fruition. I was supposed to go to yoga but the scary wind outside convinced me otherwise. Was anyone else freaked out by the wind? I have never heard our building creak before, but it was definitely creaking ALL night Friday night. Not to mention the tree next to our window that was bowing so much that it loudly scratched the side of our building. At a few points, I entertained the thought that Dom and I should move to the living room, lest we become impaled by a tree in our own beds.

Meep and I were supposed to have a writer’s meeting, but Meep woke up feeling under the weather (a cold, not a hangover), so instead, I spent all day surfing the internet, and trying to find my most Anime-looking outfit for Kayobi’s DDR party that night.

You know what? I really don’t have anything remotely Anime. I settled on a frilly short black skirt and some high boots. I found some cat ears too. That would have to do.

While I waited for Party Time, Dom and I watched “Kinsey”. I liked it. It was nice watching Liam Neeson actually ACT for one, instead of giving his usual (I find) monotone performance. Also…hey, they’re Peter Sarsgaard’s penis! There’s not nearly enough full-frontal male nudity in narrative film, if you ask me.
Meep and I headed to the Wok and Grill around 8 for the DDR party. They were having technical difficulties from the get-go. Eventually, it came down to needing one very specific cable. A few people ran back to their homes to see if they had it. Dom eventually came through, dropping it off on his way to Vashon. And the dancing revolution began…

As much as I love both DDR AND the Wok and Grill, it was kind of hard doing it in that space. We were tucked into a corner with 4 pads and a projection screen about 10 feet from our face. It was really difficult to keep our feet on the pads and look up at that angle at the same time. Still, it was nice to be able to DDR at all, as I definitely suffer from withdrawal. I’m eternally jealous of both Kayobi and Meep who actually have neighbors whose schedules they can keep track of, allowing them to DDR at a moment’s notice. My neighbor is a crazy recluse and so you can pretty much bet that at any moment during the day, our movements disturb him.

The place began to fill up around 11, so we decided to take our leave and go back to Meep’s house for some quality sitting time. Gene and Borg were in tow. We watched SNL (how sad that there’s a whole generation of kids out there who don’t know that Steve Martin used to be hilarious). Despite the frequency of lame guests, I really like the current cast. Most of them have loads of natural talent and they don’t rely on a popular gimmicky recurring character and 15 minute one-joke sketches anymore. The few recurring characters they do have are diverse enough to always feel fresh. In addition to being hilarious, the current cast is definitely the most attractive cast in SNL history. There are only a few folks in the bunch that I wouldn’t make out with. (Darrell Hammond, you know who you are…)

After SNL, it was definitely time for bed. Another mellow weekend night that still kept me up till last call.

Again I was (unfortunately for my increasingly doughy mid-section), unable to make it to yoga, as Meep had convinced me to watch the Super Bowl with her at Kozak’s. We arrived around 2:45 to an already rather full bar. Meep and I got the best seats we could (still frustratingly uncomfortably close to both the door and the projector screen, and we settled in for the long hall.

The wait staff was an eclectic bunch. The bus boy wore a Seahawks jersey and was clearly jazzed about the game. Our waiter, who looked like the love child of Mino Poulose (sp?) and Mickey Dolenz, wore a v-neck sweater with white shirt and tie underneath, pin-stripe pants and a page-boy cap. He clearly wasn’t interested in the game, but seemed amused by the bar patrons nonetheless. He was very polite and attentive and would have been an ideal recipient for an Archie McPhee’s tip, but I sadly didn’t have any cards on me. (For a while now, Meep and I have taken to leaving, in addition to a cash tip, a novelty trading card from Archie McPhee’s to waiters who seem like they would appreciate such things. For a while, I had some New Kids on the Block cards. I currently have a few “Perfect Strangers” cards left. I need to make another run to Archie’s to replenish our stock).

We ordered a side-dish spread (Kozak’s is a lot like a southern-style restaurant in that you can make a meal out of all the delicious sides they offer) of garlic mash, spiced apples, cucumber salad and chips and salsa. A word to the wise about Kozak’s: everything you order comes in monstrous proportions. Unless you normally find yourself finishing other people’s meals, plan on sharing everything you order, and order less than you think you can eat.

Meep drank Manny’s, and I put Mino’s bartending knowledge to the test by ordering a bevy of cocktails. This turned out to be a poor idea come bill-paying time. Turns out drinks that contain Koluha are not cheap.

The bar was really rowdy for a while, but of course, once the Seahawk’s fate was sealed, everyone settled down, stopped cursing loudly at the referee, and accepted the outcome. Too bad, really. It would have been nice for Seattle to have the Seahawks win. They really did play well, and even though I doubt I’ll start watching football on a regular basis, I did enjoy watching this game.

After the game, I tried to think of some movie or show that Meep and I could watch to help lift her spirits. Turns out, the best possible therapy for your team losing the Super Bowl, is to watch the Puppy Bowl (II) on Animal Planet. Meep had discovered this in the morning, but it was still being re-run in the evening. The concept is simple: puppies are placed in a miniature mock-up of a football stadium and are given lots of toys. They play with these toys over the course of 4 hours, while the sound effects of a stadium crowd and wacky music are played. Whenever something truly adorable happens, they cut to an instant replay. Whenever a puppy heads to the water bowl, they cut to the “bowl cam”, a camera placed underneath the bowl to get the waters-eye-view of a puppy drinking from the bowl, stepping in the bowl, or dropping a toy in the bowl. If a puppy poos on the field, they call a “puppy penalty”, in which a man in a referee outfit blows a whistle, comes out onto the field and cleans up the poo.

What could half-time bring for the Puppy Bowl? Why, kitten! Kittens on a three-tiered stage with toys of their own, while disco music and glitter ball strobes them! For the finale, confetti was dropped on their bewildered, sleepy heads. Whoever came up with this concept is an absolute genius. The fact that it was the Puppy Bowl II, leads me to believe that they will be back next year with more puppies! If anyone needs any ideas for a future gift for Meep (or anybody who likes puppies and kittens), for whatever reason, I think the Puppy Bowl DVD would pretty much be perfect.

I fell asleep around 10:30. I did a lot of resting this weekend. Somehow, I still feel exhausted. I think I’m going to avoid mid-week drinking and partying until SXSW, because even though I wasn’t hung over in Park City, I may have a vacation hangover that I’m still recovering from.

Next weekend: The Tangents play!