WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

Dom and I strolled down to The Superbig Collective to see the premiere of Alesia’s short “Future Syn”. The space was pretty weird inside. I guess it’s kind of an artist’s co-op so there are a lot of different rooms for different types of art, and they’re all off of a narrow hallway type-area (where the most of the party was). So there was a lot of standing and moving out of people’s way so they could get past. Still, there was free food (cheese and meat) and an open bar (run by Alesia’s dad, who I know…so I couldn’t go back to the bar as often as I wanted to). The movie itself: it’s very distracting to watch a movie full of people you know and hang out with all the time. I wonder if Hollywood people have the same problem.

SATURDAY

Meep and I decided to go shopping on Broadway to find her an outfit for the My Bloody Valentine’s Day party next Saturday (if you’re not coming, it better be because you live in another state, because it’s going to be AWESOME). Anyway, we went to Crossroads, and perused the massive costume section of Red Light. Of course, I found a dress because I, of all people, needed something new to wear to a gothic-themed party. Meep found a cute top. We were good to go. Next stop, back to Meep’s house to pick up the ghetto Lemongrass Lime Rikis I made and then off to the Meridian to watch “Final Destination 3”.

FD3 was cool. We knew there was no way it was going to be as awesome as FD2, but it still had potential, just based on the fact that it features a lot of teenagers getting killed. Sure, Mary Elizabeth Winstead is no A.J. Cook, and Ryan Merriman is no Poor Man’s Wes Bentley, but it was extremely enjoyable nonetheless. I think the Death’s Design franchise works so well because there are no cheesy-looking monsters to ruin the mood. Just lots of bloody, goopy teenage slaughter. I won’t spoil any of the specific death scenes, but I will say that there were some pretty cool effects involving many sharp objects.

The audience was refreshing for a horror movie. At least, one group was. Meep and I were relieved, for once, to not be the only people taking delight in Death’s Design. There was also a couple (who sat right in front of us in a ¾ empty theatre). The guy seemed to be enjoying himself. The verdict is still out on his girlfriend. Some dumb shits did, however, BRING A KID TO FINAL DESTINATION 3. I don’t care if you can’t get a babysitter or if the kid swears up and down they won’t be frightened when they inevitably see brains flying everywhere. Both you and the kid can rent the damned movie in 5 years.

After the movie, Meep and I had a little time to kill and I was hungry, so we went to Gameworks to first, split a “Really Big Quesadilla”, a house salad and two Zombies (which were horrible, by the way. Don’t order the Zombie unless you are able to eat spoonfuls of sugar without flinching. I felt like I was becoming instantly diabetic after every sip). We still had about half an hour after our meal before we had to catch the bus to the U-District, so we bought $7 Gameworks cards and ran around to try and find where they’d put DDR. They replaced the two DDR stations in the front with two House of the Dead 4 stations. HotD4 looked pretty awesome, but Meep said she didn’t have $40 to spend on beating it. We found ONE DDR station, but it looked like the guy was in it for the long haul. So we checked the two air hockey tables, but they were overrun with kids also. We waited as long as we could, but we had to catch the bus. So now we have $14 worth of Gameworks fun at a future date when the place isn’t doubling as a day care.

Off to the U, where we got to Café Allegro just in time for the Tangents to start their set. We had to squeeze in right in the front row, which was a little weird, (probably more for Elyse and Rene than for us). Luckily, we know them well enough to be all up in their face while they play. They sounded awesome, as usual. Elyse rocked the cello and the egg maraca.

After the show, we headed downstairs to the College Inn, and hung out till almost closing. I really like the College Inn, but I wish to hell they’d turn the juke box up. If I put in $5 worth of songs, I want to be able to hear them over the chitter chatter of college students.

SUNDAY

My day began with breakfast with Charlie’s with Gene and Sherwood. It was a beautiful, sunny and warm day, so we decided to walk around a little bit after. We wandered down to That’s Atomic, which I’ve never been inside of…and still haven’t. It was closed. Then we walked back up to Easy Street, where I bought Killer Rats and Wicked City. I have never heard of either of these movies, but I had to get Killer Rats because of Ron Perlman and the hilarious picture on the back (which I couldn't find on the internet anywhere). And Wicked City just looked kind of cool. They were both $6, so what the hell.

Gene had to get home and Sherwood had to run to his office to check on his poor fish who may or may not have survived a power outage. I paid Meep a surprise visit which was fortuitous for me, as her neighbor wasn’t home. This means…DDR marathon! We played DDR till we couldn’t be upright anymore, and then proceeded with the evening’s plans which involved an organic vegetarian spaghetti-o’s feast and Blade: Trinity. Blade: Trinity is every bit as awful as I’ve heard. Even Ryan Reynolds’ bulging pecs and sardonic demeanor couldn’t save it. Even PATTON OSWALT couldn’t save it. Jesus, it was bad. The script felt like a first draft by a 12-year old. The special effects were hackneyed. When the dialogue wasn’t being painful to listen to, it was just boring. Do NOT waste your time in this one. No redeeming value. None.

But no matter. I had a lot of fun this weekend. I saw some great music, lots of violent head injuries and played DDR with my BFF. Wesley Snipes would have to make another 5 Blade movies to put a damper on that. And from what I hear, he may never get work in Hollywood again.

NEXT WEEKEND: Lesbian karaoke and My Bloody Valentine’s Day!

February 14, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY
My Friday evening began uncertainly, as I had been waiting all day to see if I would be able to go to Tacoma with the Bobcats. Unfortunately, it was not in the cards, as they could offer me a ride down, but not a ride back. I had no problem taking the bus, but the last bus to Seattle would have had me leaving at 10:30, hardly worth the trip.

Instead, I met Meep, Andrew, Brugos, Justin, and Sherwood at Kozak’s. I really like the food and atmosphere (extremely mellow) there, but I have to say that their on-tap cider, Woodchuck, leaves a very unpleasant aftertaste that makes me feel as though I’ve imbibed a packet of Smarties. As it is indeed mellow at Kozak’s, our time there was uneventful.

We lost Andrew, and then moseyed up the street to The Canterbury. That is one bar that has DEFINITELY suffered since the smoking ban. Not so much with clientèle, but with the fact that the lack of smoke leaves the various pukey, pungent odors of the place to roam freely to our noses. Someone really needs to flood that place with bleach.

We sat in the back, and Brugos severely beat my ass for two rounds of shuffle board. To be fair (to me), it was only the second time I’d played the game. Unlike pool for me, alcohol does NOT improve my shuffle board skills.

Everyone was pretty tired (the theme of the weekend, actually), so we decided to call it a night…after one more drink at a new place up the street called 22 Doors.

22 Doors is definitely not our scene. The music they played was loud and repetitive. Their drinks (apart from the PBR) were overpriced, and their food (even though we weren’t eating), was poncy and infused with various herbs meant to sound impressive. I don’t know how it happened, but even though I was about to fall asleep AT the table, I managed to stay out till 1:30 in the morning. I guess my inner party child refused to let my outward old lady waste a Friday.

SATURDAY
Saturday was a day full of designs that never came to fruition. I was supposed to go to yoga but the scary wind outside convinced me otherwise. Was anyone else freaked out by the wind? I have never heard our building creak before, but it was definitely creaking ALL night Friday night. Not to mention the tree next to our window that was bowing so much that it loudly scratched the side of our building. At a few points, I entertained the thought that Dom and I should move to the living room, lest we become impaled by a tree in our own beds.

Meep and I were supposed to have a writer’s meeting, but Meep woke up feeling under the weather (a cold, not a hangover), so instead, I spent all day surfing the internet, and trying to find my most Anime-looking outfit for Kayobi’s DDR party that night.

You know what? I really don’t have anything remotely Anime. I settled on a frilly short black skirt and some high boots. I found some cat ears too. That would have to do.

While I waited for Party Time, Dom and I watched “Kinsey”. I liked it. It was nice watching Liam Neeson actually ACT for one, instead of giving his usual (I find) monotone performance. Also…hey, they’re Peter Sarsgaard’s penis! There’s not nearly enough full-frontal male nudity in narrative film, if you ask me.
Meep and I headed to the Wok and Grill around 8 for the DDR party. They were having technical difficulties from the get-go. Eventually, it came down to needing one very specific cable. A few people ran back to their homes to see if they had it. Dom eventually came through, dropping it off on his way to Vashon. And the dancing revolution began…

As much as I love both DDR AND the Wok and Grill, it was kind of hard doing it in that space. We were tucked into a corner with 4 pads and a projection screen about 10 feet from our face. It was really difficult to keep our feet on the pads and look up at that angle at the same time. Still, it was nice to be able to DDR at all, as I definitely suffer from withdrawal. I’m eternally jealous of both Kayobi and Meep who actually have neighbors whose schedules they can keep track of, allowing them to DDR at a moment’s notice. My neighbor is a crazy recluse and so you can pretty much bet that at any moment during the day, our movements disturb him.

The place began to fill up around 11, so we decided to take our leave and go back to Meep’s house for some quality sitting time. Gene and Borg were in tow. We watched SNL (how sad that there’s a whole generation of kids out there who don’t know that Steve Martin used to be hilarious). Despite the frequency of lame guests, I really like the current cast. Most of them have loads of natural talent and they don’t rely on a popular gimmicky recurring character and 15 minute one-joke sketches anymore. The few recurring characters they do have are diverse enough to always feel fresh. In addition to being hilarious, the current cast is definitely the most attractive cast in SNL history. There are only a few folks in the bunch that I wouldn’t make out with. (Darrell Hammond, you know who you are…)

After SNL, it was definitely time for bed. Another mellow weekend night that still kept me up till last call.

SUNDAY
Again I was (unfortunately for my increasingly doughy mid-section), unable to make it to yoga, as Meep had convinced me to watch the Super Bowl with her at Kozak’s. We arrived around 2:45 to an already rather full bar. Meep and I got the best seats we could (still frustratingly uncomfortably close to both the door and the projector screen, and we settled in for the long hall.

The wait staff was an eclectic bunch. The bus boy wore a Seahawks jersey and was clearly jazzed about the game. Our waiter, who looked like the love child of Mino Poulose (sp?) and Mickey Dolenz, wore a v-neck sweater with white shirt and tie underneath, pin-stripe pants and a page-boy cap. He clearly wasn’t interested in the game, but seemed amused by the bar patrons nonetheless. He was very polite and attentive and would have been an ideal recipient for an Archie McPhee’s tip, but I sadly didn’t have any cards on me. (For a while now, Meep and I have taken to leaving, in addition to a cash tip, a novelty trading card from Archie McPhee’s to waiters who seem like they would appreciate such things. For a while, I had some New Kids on the Block cards. I currently have a few “Perfect Strangers” cards left. I need to make another run to Archie’s to replenish our stock).

We ordered a side-dish spread (Kozak’s is a lot like a southern-style restaurant in that you can make a meal out of all the delicious sides they offer) of garlic mash, spiced apples, cucumber salad and chips and salsa. A word to the wise about Kozak’s: everything you order comes in monstrous proportions. Unless you normally find yourself finishing other people’s meals, plan on sharing everything you order, and order less than you think you can eat.

Meep drank Manny’s, and I put Mino’s bartending knowledge to the test by ordering a bevy of cocktails. This turned out to be a poor idea come bill-paying time. Turns out drinks that contain Koluha are not cheap.

The bar was really rowdy for a while, but of course, once the Seahawk’s fate was sealed, everyone settled down, stopped cursing loudly at the referee, and accepted the outcome. Too bad, really. It would have been nice for Seattle to have the Seahawks win. They really did play well, and even though I doubt I’ll start watching football on a regular basis, I did enjoy watching this game.

After the game, I tried to think of some movie or show that Meep and I could watch to help lift her spirits. Turns out, the best possible therapy for your team losing the Super Bowl, is to watch the Puppy Bowl (II) on Animal Planet. Meep had discovered this in the morning, but it was still being re-run in the evening. The concept is simple: puppies are placed in a miniature mock-up of a football stadium and are given lots of toys. They play with these toys over the course of 4 hours, while the sound effects of a stadium crowd and wacky music are played. Whenever something truly adorable happens, they cut to an instant replay. Whenever a puppy heads to the water bowl, they cut to the “bowl cam”, a camera placed underneath the bowl to get the waters-eye-view of a puppy drinking from the bowl, stepping in the bowl, or dropping a toy in the bowl. If a puppy poos on the field, they call a “puppy penalty”, in which a man in a referee outfit blows a whistle, comes out onto the field and cleans up the poo.

What could half-time bring for the Puppy Bowl? Why, kitten! Kittens on a three-tiered stage with toys of their own, while disco music and glitter ball strobes them! For the finale, confetti was dropped on their bewildered, sleepy heads. Whoever came up with this concept is an absolute genius. The fact that it was the Puppy Bowl II, leads me to believe that they will be back next year with more puppies! If anyone needs any ideas for a future gift for Meep (or anybody who likes puppies and kittens), for whatever reason, I think the Puppy Bowl DVD would pretty much be perfect.

I fell asleep around 10:30. I did a lot of resting this weekend. Somehow, I still feel exhausted. I think I’m going to avoid mid-week drinking and partying until SXSW, because even though I wasn’t hung over in Park City, I may have a vacation hangover that I’m still recovering from.

Next weekend: The Tangents play!

February 6, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

I left the office late because our meeting went over. Conveniently, Lil D and the Other One had left early for vacation so they were pardoned from having to stay late on a Friday. I got a call from Elyse and Wade to say that their Beer Hour had been canceled so they were coming downtown. I suggested trying Bernard’s for happy hour. It was an ill-conceived idea. Or, at least, the timing was off. Our waitress was either drunk or high and it took forever for her to take our order. The only food served were a finite amount of dubious looking chicken wings sitting on a hot plate. Wade and Elyse bravely tucked into them. The waitress brought us our one beer and bitched at us about using coasters to protect the badly scuffed table. We drank our beers and, when it was clear that the waitress was not coming back to either ask if we wanted another one or to bring us our bill, we dropped some money on the table, tipped her far too much because we didn’t have exact change, and headed out. I’m that after we were gone, she found the money and the empty beer glasses and thought the tooth fairy had brought her a present. She was that messed up.

We then caught the 11 back to Capital Hill. Usually, my bus trips home from work are uneventful. The buses are full of commuters who just want to get home and start the weekend. An hour and a half later, the crazies head home from whatever it is THEY do with their day. It was this bus that we happened to catch. Or maybe it wasn’t the riders at all, but a frazzled bus driver at the end of his rope. It was difficult to tell because we were crammed all the way in the back with people in the aisles blocking our view and a noisy heater impairing our hearing. All we know is that the bus driver kept yelling “If you don’t stop, I’m going to pull this bus over and EVERYONE is getting off!” He then DID, in fact, pull over every block or so and walk to the middle of the bus to yell at someone. “Don’t you touch her!” he said. “You don’t touch people on the bus! I’m going to make everyone get off. I’m serious!” We joked that we felt like we were about to get a week’s worth of detention from this guy. We couldn’t tell who was making the trouble. One very tall man got off the back of the bus and then came back on the front. We felt like we were taking Mugatu’s Crazy Pills. The bus lurched forward for another block and then the bus driver slammed on his breaks again. He stormed to the middle of the bus and started yelling at a girl who was on her cell phone. It was unclear if she was the object of his rage previously. “Give me that,” he demanded. She handed him her cell phone. “Who is this?” he yelled into the cell phone. “I am a Metro Bus Driver!” he shouted. The rest of the conversation was muffled by the heater. Damn, I wish we’d been sitting closer. Meanwhile, a guy in a pimp outfit, who was wedged into the back corner, kept saying “I don’t have time for this shit. I’m getting off.” He would stand up to move, but the people in the aisles ignored him and, rather than say “excuse me”, he would just sit back down.
Eventually, we made it to our stop and we fought our way forward, thanking the bus driver, as usual, for the ride as we exited. We’ll never know why he was having such a bad day.

Now, I know that a lot of people hate riding Metro for this reason. And sometimes, I can’t handle the crazy either. But other times, I find it makes for some pretty great City Theatre. That is, if you are able to hear all the dialog.

After we got off the bus, we stopped at the Baguette Box for, what Elyse swore, were incredible sandwiches. I had never been there before but I am always willing to try new places as long as they have a veggie option for me. While we ordered, chatted with the nice Permabake behind the counter. (Man, I really love Seattle). I (of course) got their braised tofu sandwich.

We continued up the Hill, meeting Meep and Borg and QFC for beverages. We weren’t sure if it was the one beer each on empty stomachs, the surreality Bernard’s and Metro, or something else, but Elyse, Wade and I were definitely having a collective whack attack. We picked two bottles of wine (which took forever), and decided that it would be faster to use the new-fangled self-check. Maybe it WOULD have been faster had it been anyone else working the thing. But for us, it took ages, and many a helping hand from a QFC employee, to get us through the process. We also discovered that one of the bottles, which we had thought was $10, actually cost $20! None of us are in the habit of purchasing expensive wine, if for no other reason than we can’t tell the damned difference between a $20 bottle and a $5 bottle. But we had come this far so we decided to go with it. Besides, if we couldn’t even self-check a normal purchase, imagine the trouble it would have been to exchange the bottle for something else!

Eventually, we made it back to the Zookster pad (losing Borg on the way), and found Gene and Dom ready for the evening’s activity; a screening of one of Wade and Meep’s favorite movies, Condorman!

I had been so distracted by the journey from office to home, that I had forgotten to ask Dom if he’d wanted me to pick anything up for him. Sorry, Dom! So I guiltily made him some tacos. Then Elyse, Wade and I retreated to the bedroom to take care of some weedy business. Meanwhile, Sherwood arrived.

We tucked in with our expensive wine, sandwiches and accouterments. Finally, we were all ready to begin the movie.

I actually HAVE heard of Condorman. Besides Meep mentioning it as a family favorite, my brother happened to catch it once on the Disney Channel when we were kids. It had enough influence on him for him to actually adopt the moniker himself, for a while, and subsequently pen a rap which placed him in the role. I hadn’t thought about this in years. But Wade had managed to score a copy of the movie (European bootleg) and, perhaps for some, too many expectations had been set on it. For the rest of us, it was easy to enjoy for what it was: a dorky old Disney movie with a silly premise, a smoking hot leading lady, and a built-in drinking game. Nice!

After the movie, we broke out the karaoke show-tunes, which quickly alienated several people. So we compromised, by putting on a few episodes of The Young Ones, before calling it a night.

SATURDAY

I woke up hangover free and ready for a nice mellow day of kicking it. Meep and I had plans to have no plans. Gene called before I left to see what we were up to and I happily invited him to do nothing with us. Dom helped me carry over one of my DDR pads to house at Meep’s house for future impromptu DDR sessions whenever her neighbor goes out. She’s lucky because her downstairs neighbor actually LEAVES the house periodically, whereas mine is an angry hermit. Anywho, Meep fixed me and Gene tea and biscuits and we tucked in to watch The Baxter (no relation). I was the only one who’d had the opportunity to see it in the theatre (with Michael Showalter in attendance!) I enjoyed it quite a bit and was excited to watch it again. I am pleased to say that it’s even more delightful upon a second viewing. You are able to catch more of the subtle Stella references and Justin Thereoux is just PRICELESS as the “perfect” leading man whose profession is Geodes and who cannot have a conversation without blubbering. Michelle Williams is also exceedingly adorable in it. (Want her haircut). Actually, it’s just chock full of some the most underrated actors (comedic or otherwise) including Paul Rudd, Peter Dinklage and everyone who was in Stella. It’s got physical comedy, irreverent humor, silliness and some truly mortifying moments of missed opportunity. It’s the perfect ultimately cockle-warming romantic comedy for people who typically don’t go in for that sort of thing.

After the movie, Meep and I got in a few games of DDR (her version has the Neverending Story!) and then we headed out to get a snack. It was too early for dinner so it took us a while to decide where to get something small that wouldn’t spoil our appetites for later. We ended up at Guaymas. Then we stopped in at Crossroads so that I could search in vain for a warm sweater that didn’t make me uncomfortable. Next, we killed time at Everyday Music, where I miraculous escaped without buying anything. While I browsed, I realized that I should have used the restroom at Guaymas. Of course, they wouldn’t let me use it at Everyday, so I foolishly nipped over to Smack in the Box where I bough the cheapest thing on the menu for the privilege to use their urine-soaked toilets. As I waited for the ladies room, I became aware that it was occupied, not by another lady who was doing her business, but by two men who were seemingly having a friendly discussion and not showing any signs of exiting anytime soon. Eventually, I got into the men’s room and regretted it. At least I was done. I picked up the fries that were my consolation prize. They smelled awful and there was NO WAY I was going to actually eat them. Usually, Broadway is full of homeless people so I thought it would be easy to give them away. Perhaps it was because it was particularly nippy outside, but there were no needy people anywhere in sight. So instead I lugged these rank-smelling fries back into Everyday, and hid them in my hat (no food or drink allowed) while Meep and Gene finished shopping.

We left the store and went up the street to meet Dom, passing no hungry people on the way. Finally, as the four of us waited for the bus to go downtown, I left the grease-stained bag on top of the garbage can. I turned my back for a minute and, when I looked again, the bag was gone. At least SOMEONE picked them up. Though I hope they didn’t get sick. Those things really smelled awful.

As it was dinnertime, we went to the Crocodile. Gene, Meep and I were still kind of full from our snack, however. We got small portions anyway.

Finally, we arrived at our destination, and the only location that was in our plan all along: Shorty’s. What followed was 5 hours of drinking, playing video games, reading from the fun little free sex magazines they have on the windowsill, eating amazingly delicious nachos, some heavy conversation, some light conversation and generally some great fun with friends. We were joined by Sherwood, just off the boat from his office holiday party and Borg, taking a break from making us all rich and famous. We also met a sweet little Rottweiler mix who roamed the bar and conned everyone into giving her hot dogs. We closed the place out, and Borg drove our drunken asses home, which I’m sure was a welcome change for Dom.

SUNDAY

I am Jack's useless lump.

January 9, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

LOOOONG WEEKEND RECAP

THURSDAY

I got together a small crew to partake in 80’s night at Neighbors. Andrew joined me for prefunk at my place. I was watching my newly acquired “Fraggle Rock: The Complete First Season” from the library. I was really excited about it and very pleased to find that Fraggle Rock is just as enjoyable to me now as it was when I was 7 and our family was inexplicably receiving HBO for free.

Andrew brought me and Dom our long-awaited birthday present; a laser disc player. Dom had bought one ages ago off of ebay in order to play the only proper versions of Star Wars in existence. Of course, the player he got was broken, so he had to find somewhere to get it fixed. Meanwhile, Andrew bought us a player for our birthday but never had a chance to bring it to us. So Dom got his broken player fixed and then, on Thursday, Andrew brought us his. So now we have TWO working laser disc players. I think that’s an invitation to turn our apartment into a shrine to working obsolete media.

Andrew also brought us a new laser disc, “Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country”. He eventually convinced us to turn off the Fraggles (which he was NOT enjoying) and put on Star Trek. I’m just glad we found something we could all enjoy. Unfortunately, Andrew and I couldn’t finish the movie because there was dancing to be done.

We met Aiyana at Neighbors, but it wasn’t quite ready for us yet, so we decided to go to the Comet for a quick one. We met Derek and Annika on the way. We all got a round of Stubs, poured by the inventor of the drink himself. They are a pint of half cider/half PBR with a port chaser. The port is a little much for me, but I love the PBR/cider mix. Next time, I think I’ll just order a Stu.

Things were just getting going when we got back to Neighbors. A few hardcore dancers scattered the floor. We decided to wait it out a while longer. The lads played some pool and we watched the dance floor from the balcony.

Finally, the moment was right for us to boogie. We formed a nice little circle on the floor and danced our asses off to new wave hit after new wave hit. I love you, DJ Rock Lobster!

After we danced ourselves sore (which takes a lot less time than it used to), we headed home, but not before stopping at Pommes Frites to split a cone of chips and replenish any calories we might have previously burned.

FRIDAY
In the morning, Dom and I were lazy and it was wonderful. In the afternoon, we errands in the pouring rain. The evening brought Meep’s awesome holiday party that was fully stocked with cheese and bread (in the form of cheese logs and challah). We listened to cheesy Christmas music, enjoyed Meep’s decorations, drank Yule Logs (which are basically White Russians with egg nog instead of cream) and sifted through the gifts.

Speaking for myself, I came away with a tremendous gift haul including: mix cd’s from Gene and Elyse, candy, a paint by numbers set from Erin (which I plan to enjoy whilst stoned), and some very awesome, long coveted guilty pleasures from Meep in the form of a purple plush unicorn for my alleged new office, the Kelly Clarkson album “Breakaway” and “Walker Texas Ranger, the Final Season”. The last two items may require a little defending to my hipster brethren. First of all, Kelly Clarkson has got some pipes on her. Second, she sings the hell out of some pretty angsty songs for a pop star, and even though she doesn’t write the MUSIC, she does write most of the lyrics.

As for Walker, well, let’s just say that anyone who can appreciate the inanity and fantastical plots of a Paul Verhoeven movie combined with some comically sweeping generalizations would love this show. It’s kind of like what would happen if George Bush were a TV exec and not a puppet for puritanical dictators. Hilarity ensues.

SATURDAY

Again, my morning was delightfully unproductive. In the afternoon, Dom and I went to Elyse and Gene’s for Chinese food, the Last Starfighter, and a failed attempt to do something sacrilegious on Christmas Eve. We apparently have very few male friends who are interested in seeing naked strangers. And the ones we do have want to see the naked ladies in Lake City and not anywhere near where we live. You see, Ben had told me that he planned on going to De Ja Vous, as is his annual tradition. That sounded like a fine time to me, as it did to Elyse. But since he wasn’t going to the one downtown, Elyse and I thought that surely we could organize a separate group to come with us. We were wrong. Poo.

Instead, we wandered the deserted streets and ended up at the Cheesecake Factory, a place that would ordinarily be the bane of my nightlife. On this particular night, it was just the ticket. Sherwood hesitantly met us there. We were brushed off by our waiter (who I’m sure was none too pleased to be there) several times, but mostly enjoyed the big fru-fru drinks and Dom enjoyed the insanely ginormous portion of cheesecake. One thing I noticed about the wait staff of the Cheesecake Factory is that they are leftover bullies. They will do anything in their power to get you to take your leftovers with you. They were pushing boxes on a number of our unwilling neighbors. While I think taking your leftovers home, or at least giving them to a homeless person, is a good practice, I was a little weirded out by their fervor.

SUNDAY

Dom and I woke up early to go to West Seattle. We had breakfast and lunch with the his sister, brother-in-law and dad. We also took turns passing around our little niece, Indie. So far, she’s cute and well-behaved. I like that in a kid.

And then Dom and I exchanged gifts and I scored the most impressive gift for which I am now indentured to Dom for life. The media would have you believe that nothing makes a girl happier on a gift-giving occasion than to get some expensive jewelry from their significant other. Well, for me, getting an ipod was like getting a big fatty pink diamond ring. I got all doe-eyed and wobbly in the knees. I guess this must mean our relationship is pretty serious. So thanks Dom. Screw Jarret. My man went to the Apple Store”.

After that we went to Erin’s for a delicious vegetarian feast. We finally met the rest of her animal brood in the form of a sweet elderly Dalmatian named Amore, a spazzy kitten named Kinsey, and a friendly loaf of a cat named Toaster (who may or may not be a Cylon). Of course, we already knew Digit, who has mellowed significantly since becoming a sister.

We headed home around nine to enjoy our food coma. Dom went to play with his Gryphon and I popped in “High Tension”.

“High Tension” was a great horror/thriller. It was great at building suspense, and the gore was unrelenting. I was really enjoying it…until the last 10 minutes when it turned into an M. Night Shlamalalamaman movie. WHY?!

MONDAY

Elyse and I have been making plans to see “Breakfast on Pluto” ever since we saw that first still of the impossibly attractive Cillian Murphy in drag. That boy is so beautiful, I don’t know whether lust after him or envy his cheek bones. Anyway, we thought we were the only two people who wanted to see this movie. And of course we’d heard it was bad, and we believed it. But that wasn’t going to keep us from the ogle-fest.

I headed up to the U-District. Elyse called me to let me know that now we were being joined by Andrew…and Brugos and Derek and Aiyana. The more the merrier, I say. Elyse was running behind schedule so I was left to my own devices for a while.

I should NOT be left to my own devices in the U-district. I ended up spending money in 3 places including Zandadu Comics, the Buffalo Exchange and the new Chai cafe. As exciting to me as the prospect of a Chai café is, it becomes less exciting when I find out that their 20 flavors of Chai are all in powder form. Yech.

Eventually, I met everyone and we got our seats for the movie. Halfway through the film, the projectionist dropped the ball, and the reel just stopped. It took her a few minutes to realize what happened so we sat there staring at a blank screen for a while. Derek and Andrew took the opportunity to get out of dodge and take advantage of happy hour. They invited the rest of us to come with them but we declined, opting for pretty actors over good storytelling. The second half of the movie WAS better than the first. But it still wasn’t any good. It was a pretty fluffy, PG story about terrorism and transvestites in the 60’s/70’s. I guess Neil Jordan has gone soft in his old age. Oh well. Cillian is still very very pretty.

After some debate, Elyse and I convinced everyone to go to Dinner at Blue Sea Sushi in Fremont. Dom also met us for dinner. I had never been there and was overjoyed to find their vegetarian selection to be vast. Everything I ate was delicious.

And then it was home to cram stuff onto my ipod and dream that my holiday would last forever.

Holidays really ARE fun when you spend them with your friends and not your family. Who knew?

December 28, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

I kicked things off with a much-needed happy hour. It had been a rough week at work because the only person, who is (at least seemingly) busier than me, was out, so I had to cover for him. Anywho, we chose a place called AXIS from the Master Spreadsheet of Happy Hours that Elyse sent me, and gave it a try. AXIS, while having great deals on food and pretty good flavored Kamikazes, fills up with frat-types rather quickly. (I need a better word than that for these guys. I have no doubt that they WERE in frats in college, but they are no longer college students. They have now brought their Dane Cook-loving ways out into the corporate world.) A place like that always makes me feel pretty out of place, no matter how great the company is. And it WAS great company. Brugos, Gene and Sherwood (the latter two, rather unexpectedly) joined me. Elyse was at a beer social with her work buddies and was to show up later. The service was mixed on account of the fact that we seemed to have two waitresses. Waitress #1 was skinny, crabby and neglectful. Waitress #2 was attentive and nice. We’d put in an order with #1, with no confidence that we would actually receive said order. #2 would come and check on us and we’d order with her, and a few minutes later, we’d get what we asked for. After a few rounds of this, #1 started bringing us our orders too; only to find that #2 has already served us. Too bad, Slim. We made sure to give our tip to #2, and made a break for it when Elyse arrived, a new work buddy in tow.

The next order of business was to move on to a location that would entice Faye down the hill. I called Dom too, but he was pretty intent on spending his evening with his new friends called “World” and “of Warcraft”. Gene talked to Faye while we devised our plan: One margarita at Mama’s and then on to the Rendezvous. At Mama’s, there was a long wait for tables, but somehow they got our large party seated in the Elvis room. This compelled some of us to actually order more than just drinks, as we decided they would be pretty pissed at us otherwise. Faye showed up and found us easily enough. She just followed the sounds of the obnoxious laughter.

Next, we moved to the Rendezvous. It was pretty clear before we even went through the door, that there weren’t any tables available. We devising a plan B, when Elyse charged through the door and said that she was “there for the party in the Grotto”. How she knew there even WAS a party in the Grotto, I don’t know, but Brugos and I followed her downstairs anyway. And sure enough, there was a party. From what we could tell, it was a gamer gathering, because they were giving away Playstations and Playstation accessories. Eventually, the others crept downstairs. We figured we were geeky enough. No one would notice us. We ordered drinks from Flamin’ Tom Savini and tucked in to an open booth. Faye, Gene and Sherwood remained standing, however. They were never quite comfortable (and rightly so). Eventually, they left to go to Shorty’s, and we said we’d be along soon. But before we could leave on our own accord, we got busted. Elyse got up to get a drink, and some guy approached her work buddy, Wade. The guy asked Wade if he was a friend of “Big Fish”. Wade said yes, but it was pretty clear that either there WAS no “Big Fish” or he knew Wade was lying. He gave us the stink eye and walked over to his group of friends. We gathered our things, and as we headed for the exit, he flashed a smug smile in our direction.

On to Shorty’s! I can’t speak for everyone, but I was certainly pretty schnockered at this point. Luckily, I had chosen the magical combination of liquors to afford me a drunken cognizance. In other words, I was still in control of my actions. I was just too impaired to play any pinball, as I learned after an embarrassing round of 2-player Lord of the Rings pinball. Brugos kicked ass at it though. I’d never seen anyone anger the Balrog before. That was cool.

After we closed out Shorty’s, Elyse, Gene and Wade left us. The remaining 4 opted to head back to Faye’s house for a reenactment of the previous Friday’s Katamari tournament. It was FREEZING out (and raining drops “the size of babies fists”, as Brugos put it) and so we opted to cab it. Actually hailing a cab turned out to be trickier than one would think. Despite us being on a one-way street, the cabs would not change lanes to stop for us. They would only stop for the people on the other side. Brugos even CALLED a damned cab, but it never came. Or, if it did, we suspect, someone else got it. Eventually, a car stopped for us, and we stuffed ourselves inside.

Going to Faye’s was probably excessive at this point, but it was still fun. We drank some PBR and broke out the video games. I tried to play some old arcade games on Faye’s Playstation, but I did NOT have the motor skills. Instead, we once again found ourselves watching Sherwood play Katamari. At one point, I accidentally called my friend Adriano (as he’s the first name in my address book), and left a 15-minute message on his phone wherein all he could hear was two female voices and a male voice saying “Go up! Now go left! Get it! Yay! Now go right!”. He thanked me for that message.

As it was 4 in the morning, and we were all well beyond function-ability, we called it quits. I introduced Brugos to my couch and passed out myself.

SATURDAY

I must have been fucked by the drinking fairy because when I woke up, I had NO hangover! None! Amazing! I haven’t gotten off scott-free like that since before I lived in London. I can’t say the same for my cohorts. Sherwood sent me a text message that just said “ow”. I didn’t dare call Faye until after noon. I don’t know how Brugos was feeling, but I heard him drink some water and leave around 9. I probably felt good, in part, because I made myself stay in bed till 10:30. Then I drank a ton of water, made some hashbrowns and eggs, and Dom and I watched “Star Wars” on his now fully functional Laser Disc player! Who could ask for a better morning? “Star Wars?” was glorious. I know there’s a theory that we only feel that way because of nostalgia. But damnit, I disagree. Those special effects still (mostly) look kick ass to me. Harrison Ford is so suave and badass. Even whiny little Luke comes into his own by the end, taking charge of the assault on the Death Star. Sure, there are some cheesy moments. But there are some really cool ones too. I’d say all the time and money Dom has spent on his Laser Disc situation is worth it.
We are DEFINITELY going to be having an “Empire Strikes Back” party sometime in the near future. Probably won’t be till after New Years, on account of all the holiday parties. But keep, say, the second weekend in January open…

Eventually, I worked my way over to Faye’s, where Sherwood was waiting, and we ventured out into the world to get some dinner. We took Sherwood to Ballet for the first time. Ballet is an Asian “variety” place that serves a lot of vegetarian options and mock meats. Of course, like a lot of these places, their mock meat all tastes the same, but it’s delicious. I recommend the fried rice and the curry. It’s also a good place to go with a mixed crowd because they serve meat dishes too.

While we waited for our food, I thumbed through the Stranger for some ideas about what to do with our evening. By then, it was pretty clear that if I were to press the Aeon Flux issue, I would be spending Saturday evening by myself. Oh well. I guess in this day and age, I will only have to wait a few months to rent it.

After dinner, we went with Sherwood to a little independent comic store which was blaring some awful sad bastard-ette music, that I attribute to making Faye ill. Still, somehow we convinced her to come with us downtown so that Dom could look for pants. We braved Pacific Place and Nordstrom but didn’t find pants. At this point, Faye was feeling VERY ill. Probably something to do with yuppies Christmas shopping. We hopped on a bus and went back to my house. Sherwood left us to satisfy his sudden urge to “be domestic”. Faye collapsed on our couch. Dom and I went to the grocery store and video store for reinforcements.

At this point, all I really wanted out of the evening was to watch “The Fantastic Four”. I was certain that it had come out on DVD. So we went to the video store, only to find that I was wrong. It actually comes out tomorrow. Instead, we rented “War of the Worlds”. It turned out to be a pretty good alternative. I must say, that everything Mark said about this film was correct. The first hour or so are AWESOME. The special effects really are awe-inspiring. The tripods are fucking SCARY, as are their people-dusting capabilities. Not as scary, of course, as Dakota Fanning, who’s “immortal soul” eyes and demeanor give me the willies. Anyway, Tom Cruise played himself which, in this role, was appropriate. The wonderful eye-candy in the form of Cruise’s “son” didn’t hurt either. Hello Justin Chatwin! I don’t know when Stuart Townsend and Chris Hardwick had a kid, but I condone that union whole-heartedly.

After the aliens trap Tom and Dakota in a basement with Tim Robbins, the story starts to fall apart. Seeing the aliens is pretty kick-ass though. They’re actually kind of cute! 10 minutes into the movie, Sherwood called us to tell us that he was done being domestic and joined us for some mindless entertainment. “War of the Worlds” is definitely a great Saturday-evening veg. movie. I’m sorry I doubted you, Mark. I didn’t realize that Spielberg could still wow me with his special-effects. He still can’t tell a complete, satisfactory story though.

After the movie ended, Dom and Sherwood retired to the office to do Men Things. Faye and I flipped around on TV and found a movie I didn’t even think they could get away with making anymore. It’s called “Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life” and it’s about a teenage boy who has everything going for him. He’s a star athlete on the swim team, he gets good grades, and he’s got a beautiful girlfriend who won’t sleep with him. Then, one night, he “accidentally” discovers internet porn whilst googling research for a paper. This spirals him into a dangerous addiction, wherein he spends all night surfing the internet (and NOT masturbating), looking at boobies. This porn is only a gateway, however. Soon, he’s into the “heavy” stuff, like bondage and leather. He also discovers pictures that a girl at his school has taken and posted on the internet. He starts seeing her secretly and she seduces him. At the last minute, he decides he doesn’t want to have sex with her, but…she…FORCES him too. Meanwhile, he’s doing poorly on the swim team because he’s not getting any sleep. His grades are dropping. He’s mean to his mother (played by Kelly Lynch) because she’s pressing him about his lifestyle choices. It’s like she doesn’t even KNOW him anymore. It’s like….he’s addicted…to INTERNET PORN!
But don’t you worry, because true love will find a way. His sweet Christian girlfriend eventually gives him an ultimatum. He must choose between his sordid life of looking at boobies and not whacking off, or being with her and getting a bad case of the blue balls. He decides he wants to be with her. So…he…BAPTIZES HIMSELF IN THE SCHOOL SWIMMING POOL. And that’s the END of the goddamned movie. The “underlying” message of this whole story is revealed in a scene in which Kelly Lynch asks her co-worker how you can check what websites your kids have been going to. Her co-worker says you can check the history, but that “a savvy internet user will just erase the history. Cover their tracks”. And Kelly Lynch responds “The internet is a scary place”. Not as scary, as the studio that makes Lifetime original movies, if you ask me.

SUNDAY

I did some chores and went to yoga where I stood next to a tall skinny guy with a HUGE cock. How do I know he had a huge cock? Because he was wearing nothing but a Speedo. In our class, you are supposed to keep your eyes in the mirror so that you can constantly check and correct your posture. How I made it through the series, I don’t know. My eyes were constantly drawn to his ginormous bulge. Dude, I know you’re probably really proud of your humungous member, but some of us are trying to achieve enlightenment over here. PLEASE put on some shorts.

December 5, 2005
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment