Please please PLEASE let this story be true!
Bad mOOn rising
The party is over before it even begun. Tuesday I composed a very nice, polite letter to our downstairs neighbor which first apologized for the noise and then asked if there was any way we could come to a compromise. Since he’s old, I described DDR as “high-impact aerobics”. I told him our work schedules and that we would love to work around HIS schedule, if there is any time he won’t be home that we could continue our DDR lifestyle. Well, being the crotchety, backhanded shut-in that he is, he didn’t respond to our letter. Instead, he called our LANDLORD. Who knows what he told her, but we got a message from her yesterday saying that the guy is retired and “doesn’t have a set schedule” so unfortunately, we are just going to have to join a gym or else “do your high-impact aerobics in the parking lot”. First of all, I find it hard to believe that this fucker doesn’t have, like, a weekly pinochle game or SOMETHING when he isn’t home. Second, what kind of a fucking bastard responds to a polite letter asking for compromise, by tattling on us to the landlord? Apparently, Ponytail Santa Clause does. This backhandedness sent me into a rage that I couldn’t do ANYTHING about. I don’t get mad very often. Sure, I get annoyed plenty, but true ANGER is hard to get from me. And when I get mad, I feel an overwhelming urge to hit things. If there’s nothing to hit (which there usually isn’t), I eventually start crying. And angry crying is worse than sad crying because it doesn’t make you feel any better when you’re done. It makes you feel impotent. Of course, I AM impotent in this situation. I’ve got a big fat NO from the Powers That Be. I had all these fun plans about getting in shape and enjoying myself and having DDR parties and now NONE of that is going to happen because one lame-wad old person who happens to live below us isn’t willing to even DISCUSS the matter. No wonder he doesn’t have anything reason to leave the house. No one wants to hang out with the cantankerous old sonofabitch. From now on, it will be extremely difficult to resist the urge to randomly stomp loudly on my floor now. In fact, I did a fair bit of stomping last night.
So anyway, that’s that. I have $100 worth of DDR equipment that I can never use in my own home. At least not until this guy dies. So…who has a first floor apartment or house and wants to play DDR one of these days?
I will still have a fondue party though. Still tentatively for the 20th. Because I am going to make use of that fondue pot, goddamnit. We can fill our bellies with cheese and then, instead of burning it off, we can lounge around and let it coagulate in our stomachs whilst watching a movie. I just have to think of the perfect movie (preferably with lots of bass pounding out of the sub-woofer) to accompany a cheese orgy. Any suggestions?
I put it grasp mastodon
Oh unhappy day. I bounded home yesterday, so excited that I would finally be able to play DDR in my own home. Dom and I played a few test games and then Faye came over and we put her in the mix. We’d been playing for nary an hour when there was a knock on the door. Dom answered and apparently found the strange site of our downstairs neighbor dressed in red long johns and sporting huge glasses and a long, grey ponytail. He said that it sounded like a circus up here and could we please stop the noise. This was at approximately 8pm. I suppose the lateness could be debated, but he didn’t even say it was late. Just that his apartment was shaking. Fair enough to a DEGREE. But there are a few good arguments to me made. 1) Living in an apartment is shared space, true. But it’s also not a goddamned library. If we’re making some noise at a reasonable hour, I think it’s fair game. I’ve lived in apartments for years and had noisy neighbors. I didn’t ask the man who was constantly yelling at his kid to stop yelling. I didn’t ask the weekday partiers above me to shut up (only once when it was 2 in the morning on a Wednesday and they had been having weeknight parties for several weeks). I didn’t ask the dysfunctional couple to please stop fighting. I certainly don’t ask the demolition crew across the street to stop demolishing just because I’m home sick on a weekday and can’t sleep through their bulldozer. Why? Because these things happen. Faye said people have to live their lives and she’s right. There’s an unwritten rule that after 10 on a weekday, you should be quiet. I respect that. I’ve always respected that. I have a lot of good neighbor karma and that brings me to argument #2) I paid $100 for DDR and goddamnit, I want to play it! That might not be a GOOD argument, but it’s an argument nonetheless. What about all the people who do Tai Bo? Surely people who exercise in their apartment make noise. Should they instead get a gym membership? No. They just shouldn’t exercise late at night. It’s possible that this guy works a night shift. If so, I’m willing to work around his schedule. But I can’t NOT play DDR now that I have it. Come on, weird Santa! Work with me here! So, at the suggestion of many people, I am going to write a note to him today apologizing for the noise yesterday, explaining to him that this is basically exercise (because I think saying “I want to play a video game” wouldn’t be nearly as effective) and that if there’s an hour a day that we can agree on which would allow me to do this and him to do whatever it is he does, then that would be super swell. I will see how that goes before I ask him about the tentative DDR party on the 20th, which, I would like to add, I had already planned to be in the middle of the day on a Saturday. See what a good neighbor I am?
Well, that whole situation put me in a bit of a funk last night. I was in a right foul mood when we arrived at the Moniker/Bobcats/Some other bands show at Chop Suey. I had originally decided I wasn’t going to drink but bad moods facilitate need for alcohol so I bought me a house white and stewed in my glass. The first band was a chick-fronted number from Canada who were so-so. The second band was Moniker and they sounded amazing. Faye and I were mesmerized by the drums which were hooked up to some sort of machine that made them sound artificial. But they weren’t. They were being played live! Awesome! The third band sounded like a cross between Nine Inch Nails and New Order and I admit I enjoyed them in all their silliness. They played a cover of “Just Like Heaven” which got people dancing. By then I was on my third glass of wine which I had left at the back table under the care of Faye and Borgia so I could go to the bathroom. Being borderline drunk at that point, I lost track of time as I chatted with Sherrard. When I returned to the table, perhaps half an hour later, my wine was gone. Borgia said that an employee had cleared it. I have no idea why, as it was at least half full. There was approximately $3 worth of overpriced wine in that glass. Borgia valiantly chased after the guy who was apparently a dick about it and said that the glass was sitting there forever so he cleared it. Borgia then continued to be valiant and explained the situation to the bartender to begrudgingly poured another glass (half full) at no charge. Thank you, Borgia, for being so chivalrous and taking charge. I’m no good at complaining to the affronting parties. Especially when I’m in an ill mood.
After the wine debacle, the Bobcats took the stage. They sounded really good and were very tight with their instrumentation and dance moves. It’s clear they’ve been practicing. These guys are gonna be big. This time, they had TWO dancing robots who took to the audience to incite the boogie. Love the robots. Love the Bobcats. And now I have a demo so I can enjoy them in the comfort of my own home when I’m NOT playing DDR.
I’m not sure what time I got home. I only know I feel like ass today. Rock and roll ass. I’m not hung over, just tired and now I have a cough for some reason.
You know, I realize now that I have never had anything better than a bitter-sweet time at Chop Suey. Granted, this last time was mostly due to my mental state, but still, that place gives me the tummy rumblings.
dahlia 9598 bubble baths
I may have done this one (or a similar one) before. If so, sorry. But I’m still bored so…
ABOUT YOU
Your full name Jessica Kealoha Bryan Baxter. No kidding. And you thought my name was normal.
Nicknames The Baxter, Jess, Messica, Small Snell, Jezabell, Jessasaurus.
Screen Names the_baxter, i_see_toast
Birthday September 8, 1978
Astrological Sign tortured Virgo
Chinese Zodiac Sign The Horse
Location Seattle
Religion Recovering Catholic
Current Hair Color Brown, bright red and black. Partly by accident.
Height 5 foot nothing
Shoe Size 7.5-8
Parents still together? No, sir.
Siblings 1 Brother
Do they look like you Not really.
Nieces/Nephews? None at the moment. But when Optimus Prime Zook is born, I will consider he/she my niece/nephew.
Kids of your own? None that I know of.
Pets? Tobe-lerone.
In School/Graduated The second one.
Rent, lease, own? The first one.
What do you do for work? Fill out memes.
How much do you make? More than I probably should, but it’s never enough.
Have any credit cards? Who wants to know?
What do you drive? myself crazy
PREFERENCES
Black/White Black, of course.
Red/Blue Why these are pitted against each other, I don’t know. But definitely red.
Dogs/Cats Both. But you can’t have a dog in an apartment.
Roses/Daisies Daises.
Beer/Liquor Depends on the day, really. Beer makes me fat. But it’s soooo tasty.
Boxers/Briefs Boxers. But it amused me to no end when I dated a briefs man. There’s something very hilarious about a man under 30 wearing briefs.
Hair: Short/Long? I’ve done and been happy with both. Very few guys look good with long hair, though. Rob Zombie is the only one I can think of. Oh, and Dusty!
Boots/Shoes They both serve a fashionable/functional purpose. Boots in winter.
Food: Mexican/Italian I love both. Sue me.
Dark/Light In regards to what? I can’t answer these absolutes if I don’t know what they’re referring to. I am drawn to dark bars but I like a sunny day.
Day/Night They both serve a purpose.
City/Country City. Definitely. But I enjoy a holiday in the country. Namely, the Stabbin Cabbin.
Sheets: Yes/No Bottom sheet yes, top sheet no.
Chocolate Milk/Hot Chocolate Hot chocolate. But I like to call it cocoa.
McDonald’s/Burger King Burger King, only because they have a (very poor) vegetarian option and they don’t put chicken fat in their milk shakes.
Coke/Pepsi Coke
Tea/Coffee Tea
Vanilla/Chocolate Vanilla
Milk/Dark/White Chocolate Milk
Ice/No Ice No ice
Cake/Cookies Cookies
Cereal/Toast Depends on my mood.
Gum/Hard Candy Gum
Ocean/Pool Ocean. But I’d take a pool. Do you have a pool?
Marry the perfect lover/marry the perfect friend Friend
Skiing/Snowboarding Watching “Out Cold”
Biking/Blading Bikes. But I can’t bike in Seattle. I’m too much of a wuss to tackle those hills.
Gloves/Mittens Gloves.
Bunk Bed/Water Bed Water Bed! Fun!
Motorboat/Sailboat Motor boats are good for drinking and hanging out. Sail boats are good for speed. I like both. Not that I have access to either.
FAVORITES
Color Red
Animal This is impossible for me to answer definitively given that I am a vegetarian for moral reasons. But I am particularly I fond of penguins, spider monkeys, pandas, pigs, rats, cats, dogs, squirrels and elephants.
Vehicle I love the Volvo.
Flower Poppies
Scent Ocean, fresh rain, Old Spice, pot and gas.
Shape Pear
Drinks Water is my friend. I also love milk and cider.
Soda Coke
Food Yes.
Book Catcher in the Rye, Perv: A Love Story, Life After God. All these books made me weep like a baby.
Author Salinger, Coupland, Palahniuk, Dickens
Band Say it with me now…OASIS/THE CLASH
Solo Artist Buddy Holly (but he had the crickets so I’m not sure it counts…if it doesn’t count then Neil Hannon.
Movie My brain just exploded
Holiday Halloween
Season Fall or Summer
City Seattle or London
Movie Genre Horror Comedy
Sports DDR
Thing to do Drool
Thing to talk about I like to have natural conversations that aren’t dictated by topics, but often the conversation flows to movies.
DO YOU…
Color your hair? God yes
Twirl your hair? I play with it unconsciously but I wouldn’t call it twirling since it’s too straight for that.
Have tattoos? Yes.
Have piercings? Only my ears and I’m pretty sure they’ve closed up by now since I haven’t warn earrings since middle school.
Floss daily? HA!
Impersonate? I’m not sure what this means. But the only impression I can accurately do is that girl who worked in my college’s cafeteria with the elf-voice. I can also act the hell out of being trapped in a hole.
Chew gum obnoxiously? Not on purpose. But you’d have to ask Faye about that.
Cheat on tests/homework? I cheated on a chemistry test once. I was so paranoid about it and I still only got a B so I never felt it was really worth the stress.
Like roller coasters? Only the ones that look safe. Never ANY rides at fairs.
Like soap operas? When I lived in the UK, I really got into Eastenders, Emmerdale and Hollyoaks. But here, given the fact that most soaps are on while I’m at work, it’s impossible for me to keep up. I did watch Days of Our Lives when I was in college because everyone knows that college students aren’t busy. So I guess the answer is yes, I like them, but I don’t watch them.
Wish you could live somewhere else? Not as much as I wish that the things I love about other places could be true for Seattle.
Like cleaning? I think my answer to that is well publicized.
Write in cursive or print? The only thing I can remember how to write in cursive is my signature. That and Rizzuto.
Carry a donor card? Yessir.
Swear a lot? I wish that I could be more prolific sometimes but yes.
Own a webcam? Why? Have you seen me on the internet? I swear that isn’t me.
Know how to drive? In theory.
Own a cell phone? Snore.
Ever get off the damned computer? Pee breaks.
Sprechen sie Deutsch? Nein.
?Hablar Espanol? Un poquito muy horrible.
Others find you attractive? The bigger the cushion…
HAVE YOU EVER…
Gotten a speeding ticket? I talked my way out of the only one I would have ever received. Girl power.
DUI? No.
Been in a wreck? Oooh yeah.
Been arrested? Nope.
Been in a fist fight? No, but I’ve had people want to fight me. I find that when you laugh at them, it disarms them a bit. Especially when they’re 14 and you’re 17.
Kicked someone in the nuts? Yes. But I don’t think it’s ever been on purpose.
Stolen a car? Nooooo.
Stolen anything? I had a teenage shoplifting phase. I also steal glasses from bars sometimes. I’m sorry, but it’s really hard to find a nice pint glass.
Held a gun? Yes. It made me nervous. Toy guns, on the otherhand…
Smoked? Yes.
Pot? Ahem.
Crack? Not that I know of.
Drink? …
Been so drunk you couldn’t remember your name? Does that actually happen to people?
Been so drunk you didn’t care if you couldn’t remember your name? When the room is spinning, your worries become very base indeed.
Posed for nude pics? Not professionally.
Considered being a hooker? Only in that cute, Natalie Portman kind of way.
Been married? Not that I know of.
Been divorced? See above.
Cried over a girl? Yes.
Cried over a boy? YES.
Lied to someone? Maybe.
Had sex outdoors? Yes. It’s never as much fun as it sounds.
Fallen for your best friend? They weren’t my best friend until after I fell for them.
Been rejected? Oh yeah.
Used someone? Yes. But only if they deserve it.
Been used? It doesn’t feel very nice, now does it?
Been cheated on? Yes.
Been kissed? No. Never.
Experimented with homosexuality? Not as much as I’d have liked to.
Tried to kill yourself? Boy, these questions are all over the board, aren’t they? No.
Done something you regret? Not in the long run.
ARE YOU…
Phychotic? Heh. Not that I know of.
Vegetarian/Vegan? The first one.
A sexy bitch? Who you calling a bitch?
RIGHT NOW…
What are you listening to? KEXP
What time is it? 2:34 pm.
What are you wearing? A red top(!) and a black skirt.
What are you drinking? Water
What are you eating? My feelings
Who are you talking to? You, silly!
IF YOU COULD…
Be anywhere, where would you be? Not at work would be a good start…
Who would you be with? My friends.
What would you be doing? I don’t know until I get there.
WHAT WAS THE LAST…
Movie you rented? Constantine. I usually get movies from the libraryflix.
Movie you bought? Ice Pirates.
Song you listened to? Whatever’s playing on KEXP right now.
Song that was stuck in your head? “If you don’t know me by now” on account of that HILARIOUS David Brent video.
Song that you downloaded? Music from HalSparkes.com
CD you bought? The Devil’s Rejects soundtrack
Person you called? I think it was Sherrard.
TV show you watched? The Upright Citizens Brigade
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU…
Cried? A little bit Saturday night.
Cut your hair? I got a bang trim two weeks ago
Wore a skirt? Every day.
Wore a tie? Girlscouts
Were mean? Define mean.
Were sarcastic? Oh, I don’t know.
Went for a walk? I walk every day. Does that count?
Met someone new? Frank’s friend Curt last week.
Took a test? Do internet quizzes count?
Hugged someone? Yesterday. I like hugs.
Had a nightmare? Last week. It was about money.
Took a shower? This morning.
Made your bed? Probably at our housewarming a year ago.
Went online? Given that memes are inherently internet based, I find this question inane.
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON…
you instant messaged? Sherrard
you yelled at? I don’t really yell. It was probably someone who ran a crosswalk. I hate it when people do that.
you laughed with? Dom?
who saw you cry? Dom? I’m a crier. I cry at TV, for fuck’s sake.
who broke your heart? Xander when he left Anya at the alter.
who’s heart you broke? I don’t really know. Most guys I’ve had relations with have seemed to handle rejection pretty well. Maybe that one guy in London who I met in a club and who thought we were instantly a couple. He got pretty pissed when I broke it off with him.
WHAT’S THE FIRST THING YOU DO WHEN YOU…
wake up? If it’s a weekday, I usually groan. I can’t help it. If it’s a weekend, I usually smile because it’s a weekend and then I pee.
get in the shower? Shampoo.
get out of the shower? Chase the cats around the apartment dripping wet.
get in your car? Wonder where I got the car.
get home from being gone all day? Say hello to cats and Dom.
ABOUT GUYS/GIRLS
what do you do when you see a hot guy/girl? Appreciate them.
or know someone likes you? Let ‘em down easy.
What qualities are you attracted to? Sense of humor, body hair.
What features (dark or light) are you attracted to? dark body hair.
What physical features? Beards. A nice, soft stomach. None of that “chiseled abs” crap.
Have you ever had your heart broken? Hello?
Have you ever broken someone’s heart? Didn’t we already go through this?
Have you slept with lots of boys? A lot by Mormon standards but not by Heidi Fleiss standards.
Have you slept with lots of girls? If I had, I would tell you about it.
HOW MANY…
Countries have you lived in? Two.
CD’s do you own? 500-ish.
Scars are on your body? 8 big ones. Lots of little ones.
Different illegal drugs have you taken? 3. I think.
Friends do you have that you could trust with your life? I never understood this question. I wouldn’t call someone my friend unless I thought that they cared enough about me to try and stop me from dying in whatever situation might make that an issue. I mean, I would try to stop most people from dying whether I knew them or not.
People who you consider your enemies? I have approximately 4 people in Seattle that I definitely don’t want to run into.
Times has your name appeared in a newspaper? A few. I don’t know.
Languages do you speak? 1. Ugly American.
NAME ONE…
Thing you want to know the answer to? The question to which 42 is the answer.
Thing you plan on doing on the weekend? DDR.
Think you plan on doing tomorrow? go to the chiropractor
Thing that is hard for you to do? Eat well.
Thing that annoys you? Condescension.
Food you hate that everyone else seems to love? Eggplant.
Food you love that everyone else seems to hate? Okra.
thing you wear as pajamas? Pajamas.
WHAT…
Shampoo do you use? Some crap that’s supposed to make my color last longer whilst simultaneously keeping moisture in.
Scent do you use? whatever my deodorant smells like.
Is your favorite cologne/perfume? Old Spice
Do you think of virginity? I really don’t.
Pair of shoes do you wear the most? my mary janes.
Color is your toothbrush? Purple, I think.
Have close of amp delusion
WEEKEND RECAP
FRIDAY
Faye and I decided to have a nice, mellow evening in and watch one of the free screeners I have from Lion’s Gate. We were joined by Dom, Sherrard and Borgia. We settled on “Cross Bones”, which looked to be about a zombie pirate and “reality TV”. To say it was awful would be a gross understatement. It felt like we were watching just some guy’s really bad independent horror film. But, in fact, we were watching some guy’s really bad film that’s distributed by Lion’s Gate. What? It also, at many times, felt like we were watching audition tapes. That’s how stiff and embarrassing the acting was. Somehow we managed to make it all the way through this thing, but we decided against watching “the Off Season”, which in theory sounds great, but the trailer made it look even worse than “Cross Bones”. Instead, we decided to watch something we knew was good. So we put in “Transformers: The Movie”. I never tire of the non-stop rock and nostalgia of that film. Plus, it’s always great to watch it with someone who hasn’t seen it since they were a kid because it never fails to blow their minds when they see who supplied the voices for the movie. When you’re a kid, you don’t give two handfuls of crap about Robert Stack or Orson Wells. You just want to see some cool alien robots fight each other.
Thus, fully saturated with rays from the TV, we retired.
SATURDAY
Dom and I set out to get his windshield fixed, since it’s still cracked from “The Time I Almost Drove Dom’s Car”. We went to Novus, hoping they could just fit us in that day. No dice. Dom had to make an appointment for later this week. We also found out that the whole windshield has to be replaced and that Dom’s insurance won’t cover it, since their generous deductible is $150 higher than the actual cost of replacing the windshield. Auto insurance is so useful.
After that we had planned to go and see “Last Days” at the Varsity, so we headed over to the U-district to grab some lunch and hit the Buffalo Exchange beforehand. We had a very pleasant meal at Thai 65 and I had moderate success at Buffalo Exchange (adding a red top to my ensemble!). With 20 minutes to go before the movie started, we were about to head to the theatre when Faye called. I had thought she was going to be indisposed for much of the day as her parents were in town. But they had just left to go to a concert so she wanted to do something outdoorsy (this being a gloriously sunny day). I had been wanting to go swimming for ages, so I asked Dom if he minded us bagging out on the movie. I don’t think he really wanted to see “Last Days” anyway, so he said OK. We were just going to check 2nd Time Around real quick-like to see if they had a copy of DDR when we ran into Andrew and Chris Brugos who were…on their way to see “Last Days”. We chatted with them for a few minutes and then scanned 2nd Time Around to no avail. That’s what I get for wanting to save $10 by not purchasing a copy of the game with the pads. Instead, I ordered a copy from half.com and it still hasn’t arrived. Meanwhile, the pads sit in the living room in their boxes taunting me.
Anyway, we went home so I could grab my suit and then we picked up Faye and drove to Magnuson Park (which Mark might remember from his brief Seattle visit) to swim! It was, of course, extremely crowded, but we managed to find a small patch of grass and rock all to ourselves. Faye and I baked ourselves in the sun briefly so we could be warm enough to go into the water. Meanwhile, Dom scouted out the area. Then Faye and I ventured in to the water as well. So, at Magnuson Park, there is no sand. Only rocks. Lots of rocks that tenderize your feet. I suppose you are meant to wear sandals into the water but Faye and I weren’t about to ruin our shoes so we just tried to ignore the pain. And the algae. The water, despite looking very clear from a distance, is actually filled with a veritable forest of algae (undoubtedly cultivated in the urine of children). It’s kind of gross. But we went in anyway. The water was a pleasant temperature and I’m always a fan of playing in the wake of boats. But I never could fully get over the algae and after a while our feet couldn’t bare standing on rocks, so we stumbled back to the shore (or at least, I stumbled) and lay down in the sun for a bit before heading back to the cit-ay. Despite the way it sounds, it actually was a lot of fun. But next time, I reckon I’d like to find some cleaner water and some goddamned sand.
On our way back, we got some Slurpees and made a plan to look for DDR at Hollywood Video. If it was there, we would have a mini, indoor BBQ and play some DDR. It wasn’t there. It also wasn’t at either of the video stores on 15th (On 15th and the Other One), Rainy Day Music, or Blockbuster (that’s how desperate I had become, that I would be willing to rent from that Christian monopoly). So we gave up the ghost, had our indoor BBQ, and instead of doing something active, we watched Upright Citizens Brigade. We were joined by Sherrard. A few hours later, Faye had to go home and meet up with her parents, and Sherrard and I wandered down to the Nite Lite to meet Ryan, the Kidd, Dan and Marie. Somehow, the fact that it was Seafair weekend had eluded us and we actually had to run through a damned parade to get to our destination. Who the hell has a parade at 9:00 at night?
I would like to that this moment to declare how much I LOVE the Nite Lite. It’s really one of the few bars in Seattle where I feel 100% comfortable. The tough-as-nails woman that runs the bar is always so nice to me (and she REALLY knows how to poor a glass of wine). As divey as place looks, I feel perfectly safe there because I’m sure that if any of the bar flies tried to start something, she would dispose of them herself. I also really love the juke box there. Sure, there’s a lot of bad country on it and I haven’t spent one evening there without hearing “Friends in Low Places”, but the classic rock selection can’t be beat. It’s hard to spend a LOT of money on drinks and it’s easy to have a conversation. Of course, there are two sides to the Nite Lite. I’m not sure why that is. But my love of the Nite Lite is entirely for the Left Side. Sometimes the Left fills up or closes early and you have to go to the Right Side which is louder and less intimate. But when you can get a booth on the Left, it’s heaven.
Sherrard and I chatted for a while and waited for our friends who were in various states of delay. Ryan was waiting for some house guests to show up and Marie was lost. Both of them were held up by this Seafair foolery. Eventually, everyone was accounted for and a good time was had by all. Sherrard and I were left alone once again at the end of the evening to finish our last drinks on the Right side, before stumbling back up the hill to bed.
SUNDAY
I woke up feeling a bit despondent and began cleaning. I knew it was time to go to yoga again. I had been neglecting it for far too long. So I cleaned right up until yoga time. Naturally, since I hadn’t been to yoga in over a month, it destroyed my sorry ass. I am so sore today that it is actually impairing my walking. I needed it. After class, I stopped at Madison Market to spend too much money on vegetarian goodies and then returned home to make a nice pasta dinner and relax. I finished cleaning (who knew my bedroom had a carpet!) and watched George A. Romero’s “Bruiser” before retiring early. “Bruiser” is kinda cheesy, and not quite bloody enough for my taste, but it stars the delectable Jason Flemyng so I’m not complaining.
PS: I finally received DDR in the mail today!!! I am planning to have a Saturday afternoon DDR tournament/fondue party soon. I’m tentatively thinking the 13th or the 20th. Who’s in?
Wonderful night of love after 15 minutes! – brimful
Here are some fun (albeit blurry at times because of all the ACTION) pictures from last weekend's Gameworks excursion and a visit from our buddy Frankie!
Final Comic Con Pictures
The biggest (and best) batch of Comic Con pictures has been uploaded! Check out numerous wonderful pictures including me and Faye with Sid Haig, Doug Benson, and Lloyd Kaufman (that's me hiding behind the sticker). There's also a picture of me with my beloved Optimus.
See the glory of love here!
around 1 because
1. One of your scars, how did you get it?
It’s hard to answer because I have so many scars. Most of them are from surgery. My personal favorite non-surgical scar is the three tiny puncture wounds on my upper right arm. This happened one night as a teenager. My cat, in indoor/outdoor combo, was in the habit of coming to my window in the middle of the night, crying to be let in, and then running around my room playing with anything he could get his paws on. So I would inevitably have to carry him downstairs to put him in the garage (where the cats stayed) so I could get some sleep. You had to go through the laundry room to get to the garage, and I didn’t feel like shocking my eyeballs by turning on the light. I had figured the light of the moon was enough to guide my way. Not so. I tripped over a box in the laundry room, which freaked the hell out of poor Curry who dug deep into my arm.
2. What is on the walls in your room?
-A poster of a Royal Shakespeare Company’s version of Macbeth which features a psychedelic drawing of the Porter.
-A print of my favorite painting,“Ophelia” by John Everett Millais.
-A copy of an illustration from “I’m Crazy”, that was printed in the New Yorker, which is the short story that J.D. Salinger adapted into “The Catcher in the Rye”.
-An illustration of Memnoch, the Devil.
-An artistic photograph of a “Jesus saves” sign. I think that’s it. The movie posters are in the living room and the office.
-A vintage-style poster of a Chicago vacation ad. (Dom’s).
-An etching that Dom’s ex-girlfriend did.
Obviously, I dominated the decoration of the bedroom. Sorry, Dom.
What does your cell phone look like?
Like crap, actually. While everyone around me upgrades to camera phones and flip top models, I remain with my primitive little Erickson phone that doesn’t take pictures and the only cool game it has is “battleship”. I don’t mind too much though. If I had a cool, expensive phone, I would only lose it.
4. What music do you like to listen to?
This is a boring question compared to the others. I think most people who would read this already know about my musical taste. I will say this: I must get my hands on The Devil’s Rejects soundtrack.
5. Do you know what time you were born?
Mostly. 11:45am-ish.
6.What do you want more than anything right now?
To get paid to make movies.
7. What do you miss at times?
A few old friends who lost touch or moved away, lazy summers, enjoying going to rock shows.
.
8. What is your most prized possession?
I would be pretty distraught if I lost my day planner. I don’t necessarily consider it “prized”, but it’s the one thing that I would be really upset over losing because it’s the thing that keeps me organized. And I know this for a fact because someone actually pick-pocketed my day planner in London, thinking it to be my wallet (I’m assuming) and it screwed by shit up for weeks. And of course, Tobe isn’t a “possession”, but I sure do like the little fella.
9. What is your favorite smell?
Old Spice, fresh ground coffee, or pot.
10. Do you get claustrophobic?
Only in elevators. Mainly because I start wondering what the maximum weight of the thing is. And there were a few times in clubs/really crowded bars that I got claustrophobic. But I blame the clientele.
11. If you died tomorrow:
Is that a question? Am I supposed to complete the sentence? If I died tomorrow I definitely wouldn’t be ready. I have a lot left to do, man. Like the dishes.
12. The last person to make you cry?
I think it may have been Roxy when I found out she was moving to L.A. It was partly a happy cry though.
13. What is your favorite cologne/perfume?
Again with the Old Spice.
14. What kind of hair do you like on the opposite sex?
First of all, this question is biased toward heterosexuals. Second of all, I don’t have a definite answer. I’ve dated bald people and people with ridiculous amounts of hair. However, I am certainly partial to hairy men and beards. And I used to have a thing for receding hairlines. What’s wrong with me?
15. Where can you see yourself being proposed to?
This is the part in the meme where I realize it was written by a teenage girl.
16. Do you like porn?
Yes. But, like most things, there’s good and bad porn.
17. What are your five favorite movies?
This is an unfair question and this list is constantly in flux as new movies continue to blow me away. I really prefer it to be broken into genres since my tastes are all over the board. But as it stands, in no particular order:
1. Back to the Future
2. True Romance
3. Cemetery Man
4. The Beaver Trilogy
5. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
18. Where can you see yourself going on your honeymoon?
N/A
19. Who is the last person you made mad?
I’m going to guess Meep. ;) You only hurt the ones you love.
20. Do you speak a different language?
I think, perhaps, I do. Whenever I try to explain what I do to my mom, I spend at least 20 minutes defining filmmaking terms to her. I also speak fluent British.
21. What was the first gift someone of the opposite sex ever gave you?
Well, if I must play along with your biased sexuality questions…I do believe it was some (really bad) poems and some rose petals in an envelope. I still have them if anyone’s interested in having a laugh. The guy dumped me so it’s ok to laugh at him.
22. Who is your favorite singer?
Since I like so many different bands/musicians, I’m going to modify this to be who I think is the BEST singer. And that person is Freddy Mercury.
23. Favorite band?
Didn’t we cover this earlier in the meme? You’re losing me here…
Fine. The Clash/Oasis.
24. What kind of books do you like to read?
Ones that make me feel something. Like Chuck Palahniuk or Douglas Coupland. And I can’t get enough of the horror comic these days.
25. Favorite Dessert?
Pie. Any kind of pie, but especially fruit pie a la mode.
26. How do you like your coffee?
I try not to drink coffee anymore, but in the most dire situations where I need the caffeine, I like it black or, if it tastes like ass, with a drop of cream.
27. What’s your favorite quote?
How can you pick a favorite quote? The whole point of quotes is that different ones are appropriate in different situations. Right now I’m gonna go with “Any port in a fucking storm.”
28. Would you fall in love with a person knowing that you would not be able to have them?
Which alternate universe does this person live in that they get to pick who they fall in love with?
29. What is the best way to tell someone how much they mean to you?
Dead hooker.
30. Say a number from one to 100.
Ok. 69, dude!
31. Blondes, redheads or brunettes?
Again, I feel like we’re on well-worn territory here. I do like a good redhead though. Jason Flemyng, I’m looking at you.
32. What is the one number you call most often?
Meep’s cell.
33. What annoys you most?
Selfishness.
34. Have you ever placed a prank call?
Yes. But I’m not particularly skilled at making them.
35. Who is your current crush?
Optimus Prime.
36. What is your worst fear?
Painful death.
37. Say something to someone you haven’t seen/talked to in a while.
Erm…Ok.
38. Have you ever said “I love you” and not meant it?
Not that I can think of. If I have, it was “I love you too”.
39. What were you doing before you filled out this survey?
Is that what this is? A survey? I was working.
40. If you could get plastic surgery, what would it be?
Does a breast reduction count as plastic surgery? There’s no plastic involved. If counts than I’ve gotten the only plastic surgery I would ever have.
41. Why did you fill out this survey?
Because it’s a well-known fact that memes are my favorite way to waste time at work.
42. What do you like on your pizza?
The admittedly weirdest combination ever: pineapple, mushrooms and jalapenos.
43. What’s more important? Your happiness or the happiness of your significant other?
The happiness of my significant other would make me happy.
44. What’s the last movie you watched?
The Devil’s Rejects
45. What is the last thing you bought?
A movie ticket. I’m about to buy a salad though.
46. What are you wearing?
Take a guess.
47. If you could be granted one wish right now, what would you ask for?
Money to make a movie? I don’t know. I would be wary of taking a “wish” because those Leprechauns are tricky bastards.
48. What is the last book you read?
The last book I finished: “Stranger than Fiction” by Chuck Palahniuk. Current book: “Frequency” by Joshua Ortega. If graphic novels count “V for Vendetta”. I read a lot.
49. What’s the weather like outside right now?
Sunny and hot for Seattle.
50. What are you looking forward to?
Doing absolutely nothing tonight.
I fly at forsaken
Like most movies that kick complete and utter ass, The Devil's Rejects is even better the second time. It's very rare that I anticipate a DVD release IMMEDIATELY after seeing a movie.
Some soon to be classic lines in cinema:
“I love famous people. They're so much better than the real thing, ya know?”
“Don't you like clowns?! Don't you think they're fuckin' funny?!”
“The next words outta your mouth better be some fuckin brilliant fucking Mark Twain shit cos they're definitely gonna be printed on your fuckin' tombstone.”
Thank you, Rob Zombie, for making a film so brilliant that it can make you laught, cry and leave the theatre loving all the characters, yet not having any compassion for anyone. And then, when you find you DO have some compassion for the extremely fucked up serial killers with the hilarious lines, you feel a little wrong about it. It's what Todd Solondz has been trying (and failing) to do for years. And you, Mr. Zombie, made it happen. And threw some pretty sweet blood spurting and brain splattering in all the while. Love. This. Movie.
PS: I'm also all the more convinced that Dave Sheridan should play Lyle in PLOTLD.
Mingle Mangle Mix-A-Lot
WEEKEND RECAP
FRIDAY
Jacob met me at the office around 4:30, suitcase in hand, and we blew on up to the Hill. Dom, Jacob and I got some delicious Thai from a place around the corner from the Zookster pad, and then we met Faye at her place to be really geeky and get to Pacific Place early enough for The Devil’s Rejects. We got temporarily distracted by the broadcast of “Firefly” on Sci-Fi, but managed to tear ourselves away around 7:45 for the 8:30 showing of the movie. We never know what to expect for these things. We’ve been shivering in anticipation for months for this movie, but we have no way of knowing if the rest of American feels the same way. It ain’t Harry Potter. Still, better safe than sorry. When we got to the theatre, there were only about 20 people already seated. However, as 8:30 drew nigh, more and more people (and by people, I mean teenagers) trickled in. One guy even came dressed in a spot-on Captain Spalding outfit. He was talking like Captain Spalding too, which prompted another audience member to tell him to “Shut the fuck up”. We were subjected to the usual billions of commercials, followed by quite possibly the WORST set of trailers ever collected (including “The Cave”, that moto-cross movie and, of course, “The Skeleton Key”, which is quite possibly the WEIRDEST ad campaign for a horror film I’ve ever seen). By this time, the theatre was getting quite full (though still not packed), and we were definitely among the oldest people there. Let me put it this way; to look at the audience, you’d think Hot Topic was the official clothier of The Devil’s Rejects audience.
But then the movie started. Despite the fact that some bonehead left the house lights up until around 10 minutes into the damned movie, we were enraptured and immediately sucked into the world of Rob Zombie. The movie did not disappoint. At all. It was quite possibly one of the most violent movies I have ever seen. It was hilarious and moving and disturbing all at the same time. Now, I HATED “Natural Born Killers” (and not because “it glorified violence” or anything, but because it was supposed to be this big parable, but the main characters were so irritating that I just didn’t care what Oliver Stone had to say), but Rob Zombie made these characters so complex. Sometimes you really did forget that they were cold-blooded killers and you wanted to see them win. Other times, you couldn’t possibly root for them because what they were doing was so horrible. And then he made The Law into the most vicious character in the movie. Kudos, Mr. Zombie, for making a film that was fun and also made you think. Not about “society and media” but about the many levels of these characters that you have created. You have made a damn good, solid film. And when that girl got splattered all over the road by a truck…well, that was pretty sweet too.
After the movie, we were giddy and exhausted. We met Borgia and headed back up the Hill to the Six Arms. After one beer, Jacob, Dom and I were ready for bed. Faye and Borgia stayed out so I don’t know what hi-jinks ensued after that.
SATURDAY
We slept in for a very long time. Jacob and Dom watched “King of the Ants” (very good movie) on DVD while I flitted in and out and dyed my hair. We called Faye, but I guess she must have stayed out pretty late because she was in no mood to make decisions about the day. Jacob and I took matters into our own hands and went out to get some coffee and rent the new “Constantine” DVD with 18 minutes of deleted scenes and an alternate ending. We did enjoy “Constantine” quite a bit (not Shakespeare, of course, but it was a fun movie), but because the original ending of the movie was kind of dumb, we thought perhaps the alternative ending would make the entire viewing experience more satisfactory. Now, since I saw “Constantine”, I took up reading the Hellblazer comics from which the character was taken, and have grown quite fond of the story. Of course, the specific Hellblazer story that the movie is “based on” is pretty much nothing like the end result, and is, in fact, far superior. But if you forget all that when you watch the movie, it’s still a good way to waste a Saturday afternoon. Especially the part where the Gavin Rossdale demon dies. And I always like me some Shia LeBouf wackiness. The deleted scenes, however, were weird. Apparently, they had another character entirely in there (a demon with whom Constatine has a sexual past; a character who actually is in the comic), who they cut out. The dialogue is still the same. They just re-shot the scenes for the movie without her character in there. I guess they thought the notion of Keanu Reeves having sex with a demon was too horrific, even for a PG13 audience. Or something. And the alternate ending is SO GODDAMNED CHEESY! SPOILER ALERT So Shia’s character (who, in the comic, is actually a 35-year old man with a wife and kid; not the rookie apprentice they made him in the movie), dies (of an instantaneous concussion, I guess) and it’s all sad and whatnot. But they leave it at that. In the alternate ending, Constantine visits the cemetery with his new girlfriend, and as they are leaving Shia’s grave, Constantine turns around to see Shia’s ghost sitting on top of the gravestone. But then…get this…he sprouts motherfucking WINGS and flies up to heaven. I’m not kidding. So. Lame. Give me Keanu on a rooftop looking broodily out onto an L.A. skyline and then popping some nicarette any day over that “Touched by an Angel” bullshit any day. I guess that’s what the test audiences thought too.END SPOILERS. Also, END RANT.
We touched base with Faye at this point, still trying to keep the location of the evening’s belated birthday party a secret, while still coaxing her downtown in time. The plan, we thought, was for me, Jacob and Dom to hang around downtown while Jacob checked out some sales at the “overpriced cotton dress shirt” store, and then to meet Faye, Borgia and Sherrard at the Noodle Ranch. But because Faye didn’t know where we were going to end up later, she though the Noodle Ranch was too far away. Plus, she’d already eaten a big snack. So we waited another hour (at Von’s which Sherrard described as an upscale TGI Fridays. I agree. Worst $7 martini ever). Sherrard hooked up with us and we met the attractive couple at Bambuza. I’d always wanted to try it. The meat dishes are a bit overprices (undoubtedly due to the word “bistro” in the name of the restaurant) but the vegetarian dishes were pretty normally priced, so we just got 5 or 6 of those to share. The food was AMAZING. The long beans were succulent. The noodles were heavenly. Highly recommended.
During dinner, we witnessed one of the most priceless Sherrard moments in history. Bare in mind that we were still trying to keep the evening’s events a surprise for Faye. At an unexpected interval, Sherrard announced to the table “So, I’m really excited to go to Gameworks”. The table fell into dead silence for a moment as everyone stared blankly at Sherrard. “What? Do I have something on my face?” he asked. I turned to Faye and said “Surprise! That’s where we’re going” and everyone irrupted in laughter. Sherrard was very embarrassed but we were all just really amused. It was a priceless, cinematic moment. And besides, Faye apparently already had a pretty good idea where we were going anyway. There’s not that much to do downtown. Still, I had really wanted to play a joke on her by leading her into the Fox Sports Grill and shouting “Happy Birthday”.
So with full bellies, we wandered over to Gameworks. We began with a drink and met up with Kayobi, Matt and Legolas (I can never remember his real name). Later, Adam showed up. Later still, B-Rex and B-Rex-ette (I guess I’m bad with names in general, and she doesn’t resemble anyone in LOTR). With a nice buzz going (for some of us), we retreated to the floor to get our game on. I haven’t been to Gameworks in quite some time. We were pleasantly surprised to learn that there are a lot of interactive games now that are almost like working out. There’s air hockey, which I’ve always enjoyed immensely, that is pretty intense, there’s a bicycle race game where you actually have to peddle, there’s the basketball and baseball games in which you actually swing and shoot respectively, and there’s even a soccer game where you have to kick a ball. Best of all, of course, is Dance Dance Revolution. I had never played before. I was always a little wary of it due to my extreme lack of coordination. But Kayobi talked me into it and, after two games, I was completely hooked. By the time we left, two hours later, I was sweating. Gross. But fun. Fun as hell. Apologies to Faye for keeping her there longer than she wanted so that we could get our DDR Ya Ya’s out. Hopefully Faye still had an OK time.
Then we headed back up the Hill to Bill’s. Lily Taylor the waitress was back. She was her usual giddy self. We replaced our burned calories with cheese pizza and beer and then headed home to sleep.
SUNDAY
Sherrard joined Jacob, Dom and I for breakfast at the Canterbury. We were going to try Coastal Kitchen for once, but when we got there, we realized why we probably never tried to go there before. There was a 30 minute wait for a table. On Sunday morning, you do NOT want to wait for a table.
At Canterbury, we had a top-notch waiter who was cool, polite, and attentive. Best of all, he when the cook got our order wrong, he corrected it in less than a minute. I wish he has been there when Mark was there instead of the lazy, lackadaisical waitress. Breakfast was perfect and hit the spot. Following that, we needed some TV time. We finished up the last episode of Buffy (I still can’t help but tear up at several moments in that damned thing. Especially when Andrew tells Xander how Anya died and Xander says “That’s my girl. Always doing the stupid thing”) and then put in some The Office, Season 2. Jacob and I had planned to go to yoga, but it was just too beautiful a day to ruin with indoor exercise. So we went downtown so Jacob could check out one more sale, and then we finished off my Gameworks card for a few more matches of air hokey and one more round of DDR. We returned home where I prepared a glorious nacho orgy, and then we had a PLOTD meeting. The meeting part isn’t the most exciting way to end a Sunday, but it had to be done. Besides, we were discussing our dream cast for PLOTD, and that was kind of fun. Even if I know there’s no way in hell we could get Steve Coogan. –sigh-
Thanks, Jacob, for coming up this weekend. It was a rare treat to see you two weekends in a row!
PS: Who wants to catch another showing of The Devil’s Rejects sometime this week (possibly Wednesday)?
Effed by the Wind 