My baby is in Vegas for C.E.S. Last night he saw Richard Grieco.
This is one of many reasons why I want to go to Vegas.
Rite Aid Rocks
I just went to Rite Aid to buy some mailing envelopes and lo and behold, I came accross this bustier accent lamp (the item on the left, of course):
It was the last of its kind, came in white and it was on sale for $10, marked down from $15. I carried it around the store for a long while debating whether or not I would ultimately purchase it. I am trying to stop buying things I don't need as my apartment already looks vaguely chaotic. I certainly don't NEED another lamp. I barely have enough outlets for the lamps I currently own. My apartment is lit well enough so I couldn't justify a functionality argument.
And then it hit me. I'm supposed to be collecting items with which to brothell (as opposed to pimp) Brugos' basement. This lamp would be perfect for this purpose. So that's how I justified buying it. The checker, a girl with short black hair who was basically me four years ago, was very jealous and said that had she known they were selling these, she would have snatched it up herself.
And since Brugos still doesn't have a Christmas Tree, perhaps for now, I can put it on a stool and put presents under it.
4200 Godzilla Plaza
I pilfered this link from Kevin Church. If any culture would be able to find the hilarious brilliance in a building shaped like a creature that has threatened their capitol in film for years, it would be the Japanese.
Celebrity Snatch
By now you may or may not have seen the pictures of a commando Britney Speares flashing her taco as she's getting out of Paris Hilton's car. Why is celebrity snatch such big news? Who knows. All I know is that I felt compelled to click through even though I already know what a vagina looks like.
PS: It's a picture of a vagina so it's the very definition of Not Safe for Work.
drum flier
My ultimate fantasy right now is to take the Toshiba printer we have at the office out into a field, a la Office Space and kick the living shit out of it. I have cleared at LEAST 100 paper jams out of it in the last two days. This thing has actually been the bane of my existence for 2 years now. I think it's safe to say that we hate each other.
I just heard the misfeed beep again but for now I'm going to ignore it. I need 5 minutes or I may not be responsible for what I do.
MaXaman —–<
ANOTHER LONG WEEKEND RECAP
FRIDAY
I left work early to go to the doctor after hurriedly moving all my shit from the front counter into my new office. Yes, that’s right folks. After having had my “promotion” for 6 months, I finally get the second half of it. I don’t have to answer the stupid phones anymore and I get a door and window! Glorious!
Anyway, since I was leaving early to go to the doctor (after having spent two evenings working unpaid overtime to make up for the pending time missed), everyone else decided to leave to. So, I basically worked that overtime for no reason other than Boss Man was having one of his fun little power trips. Oh well.
I had my annual appointment and then returned home to wait for people to call me. I had tried really hard to get people together for happy hour, I couldn’t get anyone to commit to a location. Around 5:00, B. called me and said he and Galloo were at the Mirabeau room, but by now I was already on the Hill and didn’t want to try and get a bus to Queen Anne during rush hour. Instead, Meep and I decided to go have dinner at the Elysian. I had never been there for food and Meep said they had an amazing veggie sloppy joe. I called Sherwood too, and, after a few bus mishaps, he joined us. I didn’t end up getting the sloppy joe, but I DID get a fantasmic Field Roast Cheese Steak. Meep indulged in the veggie curry. Next time, I may get their vegetarian country dinner. I am really happy that Meep told me about their food, because now I have an interesting veggie-friendly place to take Mark next time he comes up!
We were also waited on by two smokin’ hot waitresses. One had a muscular (like Angela Basset in Strange Days) body and cute nerdy glasses. The other looked like she just stepped off the runway to bring us our dinner. Sherwood was in love. We definitely need to go back there.
B. called from Linda’s. He was with Galloo and a dude from their office. We tried to convince them to meet us at the Elysian, but they weren’t having it. Likewise, we weren’t having Linda’s (you can only enjoy yourself with Hipster Bingo so many times before it wears on your nerves). So we told them that after dinner, we were heading up to Big Time to meet Gene and torture Borg, and they were welcome to join us later.
We rolled up to Big Time in time to see Borg outside having a smoke. BenDur, his sister, her friend from school and BenDur’s g/f were to meet us so we needed to create a large seating area for ourselves. We made an awkward attempt at moving tables together and, I think, annoyed the crap out of Borg, but eventually we settled in. A few minutes later, Galloo, B. and their work friend showed up so it turned out we needed even MORE chairs.
Even though we were probably embarrassing Borg, he was kind enough to fix us some complimentary nachos (which I’ve been told BY Borg, you shouldn’t eat from Big Time).
Borg got off work not too long after everyone arrived. Lea and her friend (who reminded me a LOT of the slutty ex-girlfriend in the Wedding Singer), decided they needed hard alcohol so they went to Flowers to do shots. The rest of us wanted to go to the College Inn, a few of us went to tell the girls where we were going to be. (Why we had to do everything in groups, at this point, I have no idea).
Anywho, we stayed at the College Inn for a long while. I like the College Inn, even though it makes me feel somewhat lecherous at times for ogling the college co-eds.
When I got home, I was pleased with my self-control. I was drunk but not TOO drunk, so I was confident that I would still be able to function for New Years. I have a bad habit of getting too hammered the night BEFORE New Years and then not being able to enjoy myself at the party.
I love it when a lack-of-plan comes together.
SATURDAY
DZ needed pants. So in the afternoon, Meep, Borg, DZ and I strolled downtown on a pants-quest. I am happy to say it was fruitful. We stopped in at Macy’s too and I took profuse advantage of their crazy year-end sale. We later supped at Johnny Rockets in Pacific Place and realized that we have spent far too much time in that yuppie mall in recent weeks than any self-respecting group of liberals should.
Then we parted ways to rest and get ready for the big New Years party at the House of Fun in Wallingford. I put on my new brown velvety dress ($25!) and curled my hair. About 5 minutes later, my hair was flat again. No matter. I was ready to party. Sherwood came over and we hopped in the car to pick up Borg and Meep. I was a little stressed about parking, it being New Years Eve, but everyone assured me that it would be fine. And of course, they were right. Before we have New Years at the Bunswick’s condo near the Space Needle. It stands to reason that there isn’t any parking over there. But there was plenty of parking in Wallingford at 10pm. And all my stress was washed away with my first giant glass of champagne.
While Meep and I drank our Baxter-sized keg cups of champagne, we played with the New Years party favors on the coffee table (including mini tambourines!). It was then that one of the masters of the house informed us that DDR was set up in the basement. I couldn’t get down there fast enough!
Naturally, DDR caught the attention of the other party-goers, so after a while the queue to play got pretty long. But Meep and I managed to get a good, solid hour or so of competition-free game time in. We went back upstairs close to midnight and were ready for the countdown. We started taking pictures. Everyone was in a REALLY good mood. It was fantastic! A lot of hugs and “I’m so glad we’re friends” went around.
A few different people were DJ-ing upstairs so we got quite a bit of dancing in. One of the DJs was Gene and he was playing a lot of good stuff. I didn’t recognize much of it, but it was very danceable. Of course, I probably could have danced to anything at that point.
DZ spent some time talking to a girl who had been ditched by the friend she came with. Her friend had not only left without her, but also took her coat! She said it was ok though, because some guy had offered her a ride home. As DZ was talking to the stranded girl, B. walked by. DZ asked B. if he’d driven his ‘stang to the party that night to which B. replied. “No, I walked”. The girl’s mouth dropped open and she informed DZ that THAT was the guy who’d offered her a ride home. DZ was, or course, chivalrous enough to offer to take her home.
The House of Fun is like an alternate dimension. Time moves much faster there than it does in the real world. We didn’t get home till after 4. Once again, DZ was kind enough to deal with, what I’m sure was a car full of very annoying drunk people. I love my guy.
Hope you all had just as great a New Years Eve! Pictures forthcoming.
SUNDAY
At the party, I’d told that no matter what, he needed to force me to drink 3 glasses of water when I got home. And force me he did. As a result: 3 bottles of champagne split between me and Meep and NO HANGOVER! Brilliant!
The rest of my cohorts were not so lucky. Good thing the only event we had on the docket for the day was to finally see King Kongat 4. Meep, unfortunately, couldn’t make it out of the house. But Gene, Sherwood, DZ and I ventured out.
King Kong is pretty good. It’s true that it runs a bit long. I do wish that even though Peter Jackson is the new Hollywood Epic Golden Boy, that somebody could have said “You KNOW we love you, Petey baby. But maybe the remake of a one hour and 40 minute film doesn’t need to be stretched out over 3 hours and 7 minutes. I’m just sayin.” The first hour contains some slightly melodramatic dialog, particularly to set up the relationship twixt Adrian Brody and Naomi Watts. But I like both of them, so I could overlook it. I did stifle a giggle, though, when Brody kissed Watts, and his enormous (yet inexplicably sexy) nose bent back against her cheek.
Once they got to the island, things picked up. I could have done with maybe ONE less attack. Maybe we don’t have to have killer insects, two different kinds of killer dinosaurs, AND killer natives. Of course the CG was really convincing and Kong himself was, well, adorable. Normal sized apes are cute. How can a giant ape NOT be hugely adorable?
I agree with Elyse that Jack Black was maybe the wrong choice for the role of the stop-at-nothing fame-hungry filmmaker. He wasn’t unbearable, but Elyse suggested Ricky Geravais, and now I wish I could have seen that.
Even though there are some problems with the film, and even though an irritating woman sat behind us who had apparently never seen CG before (she gasped at EVERY SINGLE SPECIAL EFFECT. I swear I'm not exaggerating), I enjoyed the film immensely. It was very Peter Jackson. Very faithful to the source material, very entertaining, and the ending is incredibly moving.
At the end of the movie, the Aghast CG Lady commented that the film was “a combination of the original King Kong and Jurassic Park”. Or maybe it was JUST a remake of the original King Kong? I don’t know.
Early in the day, I developed an insatiable hankering for sushi. I got everyone on board with this, only to find that every sushi restaurant on the Hill was closed. DZ and I settled for dry QFC sushi and spring rolls and Gene and Sherwood got pizza. We returned to the Zookster Pad to watch some Rockford Files and relax.
I had never watched the Rockford Files as a kid. I only knew James Garner from Maverick and had NO idea he was such a pimp! Thanks, Gene! I look forward to more evenings like that.
MONDAY
All that fun and I STILL got another day off! I decided to try and work off all my debauchery by going to yoga. Of course, every New Years Resolutionary in the city was there too so the room was packed. This limited mobility and also made the already 105 degree room feel about 10 degrees hotter. I had convinced Kayobi to finally join me so I felt bad that her first time in there was a lot more miserable than refreshing. She did really well, though.
After yoga, we showered and headed to the I.D. for food at what Kayobi said was the best Chinese restaurant in the city. For some reason, be it heat stroke, extreme hunger, or something else, I was extremely nauseous. And by the time we got to the restaurant, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I threw up mostly water. I immediately felt much better and was even hungrier than before, so I ordered what seemed to be the only dish on the menu without a picture of a hot pepper next to it. See, in my old age, my stomach has decided to no longer accept spicy food without causing me extreme pain for a few hours post meal. Imagine my dismay when my broccoli dish arrived well adorned with red peppers. I was so hungry (and really, out of vegetarian options), that I struggled through half of it anyway. I even took the leftovers home (even though the pushy waitress actually TOOK the plate away from me when she saw me removing peppers for the leftovers).
Kayobi and Matt were then kind enough to drive me down to DZ’s office to drop something off for him. By then, I had developed a headache and my stomach was beginning to enact revenge for the broccoli. I had grand designs for apartment cleaning that night, but those all went out the window, as all I could think about was getting home and crawling into bed. As I walked to my door, I tossed my leftovers in the dumpster.
A few hours later, I awoke feeling pretty much all better. I was glad I could sleep through my stomach’s revenge. I was still pretty tired though. I made an organic pop tart and watched a little TV. I was in bed by 9:30. Thank Christ for a recovery day. I wish every weekend had one.
perky uncommitted
WEEKEND RECAP
FRIDAY
It was the night of the Mandatory Holiday Office Party for my company. I was kind of dreading it based on how much I LOOOOOVE spending every day of my life with my co-workers. But it turned out to be not so bad. For one thing, free food and drink. The free drink started at the office at 4pm, when we closed up shop early and had our white elephant exchange. I scored a frog candle holder wherein the frog looks like he’s deep-throating the candle. Awesome.
And then came the food, which was not just ANY food but Canlis food. (LINK) Canlis is this UBER fancy restaurant off of 99. I’m talking dress-code, $28-75-entrees, 3-different-waiters-for-your-table fancy. Needless to say, I have never been to a place like that and was interested to see what it would be like. First of all, it was really weird to be treated so well by restaurant staff. They treat each customer like a celebrity, opening your car door for you as you pull up, holding the doors open for you, checking your coat at the door, and just generally being extremely polite and accommodating at every turn. I have nice waiters, sure. But this went above and beyond. Obviously, I’m sure they were looking for hefty tips, but since I wasn’t the one who would be tipping, I wasn’t sweating it. Second, even though they had a very small vegetarian selection, and I pretty much had to each side-dishes for my meal, the food was INCREDIBLE. Orgasmic, even. I had the most AMAZING mushrooms and “truffle” fries. And my $9 salad was pretty much the most delicious salad I have ever eaten. For dessert, we all ordered different things and passed them around. Every single dessert was incredible. Meanwhile, we went through 3 bottles of wine and beer after beer (Chimay). I can’t really even hazard a guess as to what the bill came out to, but I’m sure if I’d been responsible for it, I would have developed an instantaneous ulcer. But I wasn’t, so I just enjoyed the ride. The company wasn’t too bad either. Everyone was getting HAMMERED and being very complimentary. Boss Man started telling me about how he wished that weed was legalized. The BIG Guy gave a speech that brought him to nigh on tears, wherein he told us all that he couldn’t have been happier to work with each and every one of us (and he went around the table addressing each person and saying why they are important to the company), and that we have a tremendously bright future ahead of us. Of course, I get a little uncomfortable whenever anyone talks about the future of the company in my presence because I’m not planning my future WITH the company, but it was nice to be appreciated. Even Lil D wasn’t getting on my nerves TOO bad. She’s very happy when she’s being pampered. The Other One and I started talking about the Alien series and the waiter overheard our conversation and joined in briefly, agreeing that 4 was unnecessary, as he poured me who-the-fuck-knows what number glass of wine.
After dinner, we decided to go to Lelani Lanes for karaoke because we thought we had a good chance of getting a table for 10 people there. So we got in two cars (probably not a good idea at that point, in retrospect), and drove, in semi-formal wear, to a Greenlake Dive Bar/Bowling Alley.
Once there, some people settled in quickly and others didn’t. Of course, Lil’ D wasn’t too happy to be “slumming it”, and the ones who didn’t want to sing were skeptical at first, but those folks got some drinks and went to bowl, while the rest of us started picking songs. Lil’ D, surprisingly, loves karaoke, but of course, she was complaining about the song selection. Not enough Black Eyes Peas for her taste, I’m sure. Boss Man, The Other One and I were all into it. The Two Ladies from Portland didn’t want to sing, but they were down to hang out with us. And it’s here where my Grinchlike heart began to melt. Turns out, I have some very important allies in The Two Ladies. The one who is, in some ways, the boss of Boss Man, I have to thank for two things: First, apparently, she yelled at Boss Man for over an hour back in the day when he’d told me he wouldn’t have hired me in retrospect, and I decided to quit. When he told her what he’d said, she called him a “fucking idiot” and told him he should be giving me a raise, not insulting me. So, eventually, he did give me a raise and I didn’t quit and I’m sure I have her to thank for that (possibly mixed blessing). Second, she told me that she knew about my dreams of filmmaking and she said she knows how Boss Man feels about it, that it’s a nice hobby but I should have something substantial to fall back on. However, she disagrees. She said as long as it’s something I know I want, I should NEVER give up on it. She said, in her life, what she wanted was to be a mom, and she has that. When she’s on her deathbed, she’s not going to have any regrets because of that. So even though she said I would be hard to replace, she wants me to keep pursuing my film career. That is the FIRST time anyone at this company has treated my filmmaking as a career path, and not as a cute hobby. So I was very happy to hear it, and, of course, it endeared me to her quite a bit.
The other lady is sort of the me of Portland, minus the secretarial work. We got to talking and it turns out she and I have quite a bit in common from a Catholic School upbringing to a love of Buffy and sci-fi. I should like to hang out with both of them again, methinks.
As for karaoke, well, I gave two of my best performances to date. First I sang “One” by Three Dog Night and then “Heaven is a Place on Earth” by Belinda Carlisle. Of course, my singing is never anything to shout about, but let’s just say that if I were playing Karaoke Revolution, I would have scored an A. My co-workers were quite impressed as well. And I continued to drink every free drink that was offered me.
After a while, we were down to 6, so we headed to another dive bar off Greenlake. I don’t have any idea what it was called. Inside, we met an Englishman from Brighton who had followed a girlfriend to the States and then been promptly dumped. He looked like Garth Algar but talked like the drug dealer in “Withnail and I”. Funny stuff.
I pumped some songs into the Juke and we continued to drink more than any of us probably should have. We closed the place out, and The Other One headed home.
Boss Man drove the 4 ladies back toward our homes/hotels. Lil’ D got dropped off first because she wouldn’t have it any other way. The Two Ladies wanted Taco Bell, so we stopped at the one on Broadway where we were surprised to find a line. There’s never a line in that Taco Bell. There’s never even anyone IN it when I’m there during the day. I guess it stands to reason that 2 in the morning is the only time that Taco Bell ever sounds appetizing to the masses.
Finally, I got dropped off at home, drank two glasses of water (too little, too late) and went to bed.
SATURDAY
Oh, I had designs for my Saturday. Yes I did. But they fell way way waaay to the wayside when I awoke with the badhead to end all badheads. This was the SECOND worst hangover of my life (the first being December 31st, 2000 – thus leading to my first sober New Years Eve since I began not being sober on New Years Eve). It was just awful. It was as if a mischievous elf had climbed inside my ear and delighted in, every few minutes, banding my brain with a bal peen hammer. The vomiting was not the kind that makes you feel better immediately after, but rather the kind that sends you into a shivering cold-sweat and makes your whole body tremor. After I threw up everything in my body and then some, and drank as much water as I could stuff in me, I went back to bed. To top it all off, my cold, which had been brewing for several days, finally hit its peak. I feverishly tried to go to sleep. Eventually, I was able to nod off again, but this spelled the end to my designs, which included a matinee of King Kong. Oh well. I will remember next time (this I swear) to drink a glass of water for every alcoholic drink, no matter HOW much free booze is thrust upon me, and no matter how tired I am when I get home.
Around 5pm, I was finally able to join the living. Dom and I got gussied up and then went to the store to purchase offerings for Derek & Aiyanna’s holiday party. The party was great and I ate way too much of their delicious holiday snacks but did NOT drink. We also ventured over to Candy Cane Lane, the festive neighborhood street that is covered with magical lights and decorations. The whole thing was quite lovely. I only wish I could have made myself last past midnight.
SUNDAY
After chores and yoga, I finally got my hands on a copy of “The Fantastic Four” which Dom, Faye and I watched. Camptastic! Honestly, I think they used the Roger Corman version as a basis for their script. There were many similarities in cheese. If it weren’t for the professional looking CG, it would be hard to believe that it was a studio picture. Lots of fun to watch though. And Julian McMahon is my new favorite campy actor. The guy knows EXACTLY what movie he’s in and, instead of trying to pretend it’s art, he just has fun with it. It’s the same thing he does in Charmed. And ever since Nip/Tuck turned into a Daytime soap, he’s been doing it there too. Fabulous!
You did it
Let me set the scene a little bit. The others in this office enjoy a bit of revelry from time to time. And by time to time, I mean ALL the time. Several times a day you can hear loud laughter and clapping coming from behind closed office doors. I am never a part of this.
So today, I was talking to my favorite intern, WHILE we were working on something, mind you. We were laughing and enjoying ourselves. We were laughing so loud that we couldn’t hear the phone. But we COULD hear the Lil’est fucking Dictator yell at us from the next office “THE PHONE IS RINGING”. Immediately, we stopped laughing and my intern answered the phone. The call was for the Lil’est Dictator. Why couldn’t SHE answer the phone? Answer? Because she thinks she’s too good for it. But she’s NOT too good to tell me that I should help her do HER job whenever she wants it. Apparently, we “all need to help each other out to keep the office running smoothly” but only when we are helping HER out. Not when we’re helping me. I was having a good Friday and STILL doing my work and she had to put me in a bad mood by being her little princess fucking self. The thing that really bugs me is that I immediately snapped to when she yelled about the phone. I didn’t realize until it was too late that she had no right to do that. I still feel like she’s my boss, even though she’s not. God, that bitch burns my bacon.
Sorry. I had to type the anger out of me. Done.
personal victory update
Shortly after the above-named incident, Lil D sent me an email asking me to do her work for her. I Declined, saying “I believe these clients are yours”. She stormed out of her office a few minutes later, went into Boss Man’s office and slammed the door. She was in there for about 20 minutes. I expected him to call me in after she came back out. I had to ask him something anyway, so I went in to his office and asked my question. He made no mention of the incident. I came back to my desk and found an email from her asking “What are you working on”. So I listed out a few things and then said “but it’s not that I’m too busy to make one phone call. It’s just that we designed the system of assigning clients so that the people with the MOST clients would have their work-load alleviated”. She knows damned well that I have twice the work-load that she has. I also cc’d Boss Man on my response. This might sound underhanded, but it’s what she does to me ALL THE TIME when we’re arguing about something. So it must have worked because I didn’t get an email back from her. Now she’s just storming around the office, pouting.
GOOOAAAALLL!!
HAPPY FRIDAY!
Jons cool info
SUPER LONG WEEKEND RECAP
WEDNESDAY
The evening began a little early for me. The Other One in the office bolted at 3 because his wife was having a baby. As a result, Boss Man’s heart grew 3 sizes and he let us all go home. I decided to take the opportunity to watch “Finding Neverland”, which I needed to return to the library. I had been putting it off because it’s hard to get excited about watching a movie in which you know someone is going to die of a horrible disease. But I found myself in a rare, weepy mood, so I put it in. And weep I did. You see? I’m not entirely made of stone. I may be annoyed by Nora Ephron movies, and derive glee from watching teenagers get hacked to death, but I can be moved by consumption, loves that can never be and, very occasionally, small children who have seen too much pain.
After dinner, I headed over to Faye’s for ANTM and Veronica Mars. I can take or leave ANTM in general, but it’s a lot of fun to watch with Faye. I was saddened by the outcome if only because now we can’t make anymore “Just One of The Guys” jokes. And how often do you get to do THAT in life? Veronica Mars was consistent with the good writing. I’m glad Faye finally turned me from the Dark Side of Wednesday night TV. I can only habitually watch SO MANY shows on which all the characters annoy the crap out of me. Not one to waste an evening off, I was determined to tie a few on. So after TV, Sherwood stopped by Faye’s apartment and we headed off into the gloriously foggy night. We hoped to find a seat at the Comet, but, since everyone had Wednesday off, the Comet was packed. Sherwood and I opted for the perpetual Plan B, which is the Canterbury. I think Plan B was better anyway because we wouldn’t have been able to have our conversation at The Comet. It was one of those nostalgia-filled conversations that make you feel all warm and fuzzy and also a little sad.
THURSDAY
Dom and I woke late and got a late start. It’s hard to get up and go on your first day off in a long while. We stayed in our pajamas until noon and didn’t leave the house until 1. Armed with pies and bags of groceries, we sped off to West Seattle to catch the ferry to Vashon. As we rounded the corner, we realized that if we were to remain in the car, like most stubborn Seattleites, we would never get on the damned ferry. So we opted, instead, to park and haul everything onto the ferry as walk-ons. Even though we parked up a hill and the bags were heavy, it was definitely the optimal decision. Besides, in Dom’s car, I never would have met the Mighty-O Donut angel who was inexplicably wandering around the waiting area handing out free vegan donuts!
Dom’s dad, Phil, waited for us on the other side and drove us and our haul to his house, where I was immediately put to work in the kitchen. It turns out that it doesn’t take very long to cook a Thanksgiving meal if you aren’t roasting a turkey. Veat “poultry” breasts can be ready in half an hour, even with a marinade involved. An hour and a half later, we were sitting down to dinner with Phil and Phil’s employee, Jerry. Everyone seemed to enjoy their meal, even though I was the only vegetarian present. After dinner, we watched a few “Greg the Bunny” episodes on IFC, and the boys played with the HAM radio. I played with Catalina, the world’s smallest adult cat. And of course, there was PIE!
After pie, I either needed a nap, or to just go to bed outright. It was after 8, I think, when we started back to Seattle. Holiday time is hard to judge. Anyway, I slept well that night.
FRIDAY
I cooked a little breakfast for me and Dom and we were utterly useless for a few hours. Around 3, Dom left for the Gadzook office, and I got ready for whatever the evening might bring. The evening, at first, brought Sherwood and his lap top. He offered to allow me to peruse his i-tunes for albums I’d like to burn. I’m sure he regretted it immediately, because he was hungry and ended up burning about 12 CD’s before we left for dinner. Sherwood was craving Won Ton soup; so of course, we went to the Wok and Grill. We were trying to decide what to do after that. Brugos wanted karaoke (and, of course, I can’t turn that down), but he wanted to go to the Mandarin Gate. Faye, I believe, said she would rather eat her own face than go there again. I got a hold of a Stranger and we discovered, to our delight, that Angel was spinning the karaoke at the Wild Rose. Faye, Borgia and Brugos met me and Sherwood at the Rose 30 minutes later. Sherwood sang “Bullet with Butterfly Wings”. Brugos sang “Still Loving You” by the Scorpions, and I sang “Angels” by Robbie Williams. After our round, we were ready to move to greener pastures, meaning we would go to Faye’s place and play drinking games. After a few failed attempts at “the word association game” and “the movie actors game”, we tried to play Kings. Borgia could see Sherwood’s hand and kept giving him advice and no one, it seemed, could concentrate. So before long, Borgia passed out in Faye’s bed, and Brugos and I watched Faye and Sherwood play Katamari Damacy. What I learned: Drinking games are only good as a means to an end, not as a perpetuator of drunkenness. Still, we managed to keep the party going until FOUR in the morning. No WONDER we all felt like the fuzzy end of the lollipop the next day.
SATURDAY
There was nothing for it but a big, greasy breakfast at the Canterbury, as served by the World’s Worst Waitress. Dom, Borgia, Faye, Sherwood and I were in attendance. After breakfast, Borgia left us to go watch hockey. Faye, Sherwood and I huddled together in the living room and giggled at the “Contractual Obligation Album” by Van Morrison. Sherwood went home for about an hour and a half, and Faye and I ventured out into the world for reinforcements. I was in the mood to watch young people get slaughtered. We got two movies from On-15th and then to went to Rainbow Grocery for soy jerky and not at ALL to ogle the new hottie pie that works there. When we got back, we ordered pizza and dessert to be delivered from Palermo, a mere two blocks away. THAT’S what the previous night’s antics had turned us into.
We made a bad call on the slasher movie. We rented the utterly intolerable “R.S.V.P.”. Even when scripts are uninspired, I don’t usually notice bad camera work on a studio picture, but it was really evident here. The plot was non-existent, when it wasn’t being pilfered directly from another movie. Even the presence of Glen Quinn didn’t help. He’d been obviously having a hard time deciding whether his character was Irish or American. And, since it turned out to be his last film, I think we can safely blame his involvement in that cinematic disaster for his drug overdose. Sherwood and I decided to light up. Faye mercifully began fast-forwarding through the movie. Sherwood, couldn’t handle it anymore and went home to listen to music. It’s too bad too, because next we put in Martin and Orloff, which Sherwood would have loved. It has a quieter humor than the “Upright Citizens Brigade” TV show, but it’s still just as bizarre. Faye correctly likened it to the “Brain Candy” of UCB. I can’t remember when we watched the small dog category of the Purina Dog Show, but that happened too. Damn, those little dogs crack me up. Especially the ones that are so furry, they look to be gliding across the arena without legs. Some SNL reruns also happened. Faye astutely observed that even though there are some very funny people involved, the current cast would be utterly lost without Amy Poehler.
SUNDAY
I was in a rare, productive mood, so I took care of some internet shopping, some tidying, some mending and some digitizing of VHS tapes. I also went to yoga! In my ongoing attempt to see the classic films that I should have watched years ago, I watched “Dog Day Afternoon” while I mended. There’s PROOF for you that Pacino has gotten very very lazy. I watch his subtle nuances in “Dog Day Afternoon” and I can’t help but be moved. Contrariwise, I watch him scream his head off in “The Devil’s Advocate” or “Any Given Sunday” (or even, if you ask me, “Scent of a Woman”) and I can’t help but feel that his ongoing critical acclaim is just force of habit.
Next Weekend: Aeon Flux, anyone?
him, and very solemnly,
This is funny. Last week, after Boss Man let me stew over the prospect of not getting a receptionist for a few days, he called me into his office. I won’t bore you with too much of the details, but the gist is that he realized that the Lil’est Dictator DOESN’T DO ANYTHING while the rest of us are really really busy. He decided to examine why that is and how to fix it. His solution: Give her half of my clients. She was pretty pissed about this prospect at first. I guess she said she would NOT be demoted. But he shut her up by saying that she was the loudest proponent for not getting a receptionist. And that if we aren’t going to get one, than we have to re-distribute the work so to give me a break. He also told me that we still WOULD get a receptionist, but that it wouldn’t be until we were more settled. I can see his point on this matter. We’re in the process of a company split and a new name, as well as a move. It would be weird to hire someone now when we can’t even tell them what we’re going to be like in 3 months. He projected that January would hopefully see smoother times for us. He also said several times that since this new position for Lil’ D. is designed to help me out, that if I find myself with more work, I should let him know immediately. In other words, “if she delegates her work to you, I will put a stop to it.” Thank Christ for that! He also said that he appreciated my positive, can-do attitude, and the fact that no matter WHAT he gives me, I agree to do it without argument. He said he wished that everyone behaved that way. He also said that I have been an integral part in the success of the company and he is very glad to have me on board. It’s wonderful to be appreciated. I just wish that these things would come up in meetings. It would have been nice to have had him stand up for me at my birthday lunch instead of in the privacy of his office. Maybe then Lil’ D. would finally show me some fucking respect. Oh well. It’s better than nothing, I suppose.
Effed by the Wind 