Fine. I’ll Say It.

Blah blah blah “Thriller” blah blah blah important contributions to pop music. Fine. That shit is true. I loved that record and I tried to do that dance in my living room when I was a kid just like the rest of the world.

What is also true is that Michael Jackson molested children. I don’t care that he was never convicted. Everyone knows money can buy a guilty man a bill of innocence and he certainly spent a lot of his money doing just that.

Michael Jackson was completely batshit looney and who knows how many years of therapy his kids are going to have to go through to avoid becoming drug addicts, sex offenders or worse. I realize that he had a tough childhood. But so did a lot of people. They got help. Or were forced to get help. Or went to jail. Or killed themselves. But Michael was instead allowed to isolate himself further and further until he had absolutely no sense of reality left. And he didn’t just hurt himself. He hurt other people. And he got away with it because he wrote some really good songs. This would not have happened if he had been just some dude who worked at Target. Is everyone gonna be super sad when O.J. dies too? What about Charles Manson? He’s a musician…

What I’m trying to say is that when our idols let us down, it’s OK to be angry. We shouldn’t let fandom blind us from acknowledging a person’s character flaws. It’s OK to feel disgust toward someone you once loved if they deserve it. And he does. Maybe those closest to him share the responsibility for not getting him help before it was too late. But ultimately, he made those choices. It’s too bad he died before he could make different ones. But he was still a fucking child molester.

Hotter with a Beard: Keanu Reeves Edition

I know I was a naysayer at first, but I guess his neck beard just had to flourish into this amazing gem of a hairdo. Full-bearded Keanu is my Oregon Country Fair wet dream. Keep up the good work, Keanu beard!

Let it Bea

Death is always sad, of course. But every once in a while, we’ll lose an actor or actress who really leaves a void. That is how I feel about Bea Arthur. She didn’t die young, but she always seemed young. Even when she starred in a series about old ladies. The Golden Girls is one of the view sitcoms from my youth that I still find fresh and hilarious. Moreso now, in fact, because I get all the dirty jokes. It’s the original Sex and the City but without all that ugly consumerism and pathetic pining. I always assumed I was a Rose but wanted to be a Dorothy. (I recently took a Facebook quiz which revealed me to be a Sophia, which is OK too.) But Dorothy rocked because she was played by such a badass. Bea Arthur was a badass in everything she did. Even her cameo in the Star Wars Christmas Special, as the bar matron of the Mos Eisley Cantina who sings her customers out at the door at last call. Somehow she, above all others in that special, was able to maintain an air of dignity in the midst of such silliness.

I’ll sincerely miss you, Bea Arthur. I hope there’s a Golden Girls marathon in my future. Nay, in all our futures.

The Lizard King

I don’t know what’s happening here but I like it!

Thanks, Dlisted.

Checking In with Joaquin

Yep. Still bonkers. And kind of a dick.

Aaaaaaand the Apology

Christian Bale Sez:

“It’s been a miserable week for me. I know I have a pottymouth, everybody knows that now. I have no confusion whatsoever. I was out of order beyond belief, I was way out of order. I acted like a punk, I regret that and there is nobody that has heard that tape that has been hit harder by it than me. I make no excuses for it, it is inexcusable and I hope that is absolutely clear. I’m embarrassed by it. I ask everybody to sit down and ask themselves, have they ever had a bad day and have they ever lost their temper and really regretted it immensely. Feel free to make fun of me at my expense; I deserve it completely.

He’s asking you to walk a mile on his set!

Regarding Mr. DP:

“We have resolved this completely…I have no intention of getting anyone fired. There is no problem whatsoever.”

I bet he freezes like a squirrel during takes now. So no problems there.

“One thing that has really disturbed me throughout this is I’m not familiar or comfortable with this notion of being a movie star. I’m an actor and I’m don’t quite know how to handle [the movie star thing]. The thing that disturbs me so much is that I’ve heard a lot of people saying that I seem to think I’m better than anybody else. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I’m a lucky SOB. I never forget that and that is why I put so much into what I do and I care so much about it . Sometimes that enthusiasm just goes awry.”

I’m just an actor. I never wanted the fame!! It’s haaaaaard.

Prepared answers aside, it’s nice that he apologized. Wesley Snipes never did.

BALEGATE OVER!

Thanks, Cinematical.

Bale vs. O’Reilly

The inevitable Bale/O’Reilly mashup! The internet works quickly, people.

Again, audio NSFW.

Thx, Sherwood.

Christian’s Old Timey Lemonade

Someone made some pretty kick ass lemonade out of Balegate.

Language definitely NSFW. And neither are those fresh beats.

Actors are Jerks

Even Christian Bale, apparently. TMZ has released some recorded audio from the set of Terminator: Salvation, in which Bale goes all verbal poo flingy toward a crew member who walked through the shot. Listen to the whole thing here. Every other word is an F-bomb so it’s NSFW unless your boss is David Mamet.

At first I thought he was talking to a grip, but it turns out he was actually yelling at the Director of Photography. This is a guy who oversees the shots so it makes sense that he was checking lighting. His timing might not have been perfect but I bet he checked the monitor first to make sure he wasn’t in the shot. This doesn’t matter, of course, to Mr. Bale who can’t work with such distractions. Actors are trained monkeys. They work fine as long as they are kept happy. But if something sets them off, you’re gonna have a mess on your hands. It doesn’t sound like the doomed D.P. is even arguing with him. He’s just standing there taking abuse and then getting fired.

Why is it that good acting and a complete lack of respect for other human beings seem to go hand in hand? Maybe all that yo-yo dieting made him crazy. Either way, I am so glad I never moved to Hollywood to pursue a career in film.

On a related note, I guess I retract my previous belief in his being innocent of Mum beating.

Thanks D-listed.

Hotter with a Beard: Corrections and Retractions

Oh noes! It was bad enough that Joaquin Phoenix lost his ever-loving, dyslexic mind and verbally abused reporters on the red carpet. But now he’s let it go to his beard. I still maintain that he looked cute the day he announced his retirement from male model-…er…acting. But he has neglected to do any beard maintenance or, say, bathing, since then and now he is pretty much indistinguishable from your average vagrant who raided the dumpster behind the Claire’s Boutique.

Look at those haunted eyes! He is one bottle of MD 20/20 away from hitting the rails for good. Perhaps he has already turned his Oscar into a crack pipe. It’s difficult to say. Regardless, he is off my hot list. He barely makes the Hobo Hot 100.

Thanks, dlisted!

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