smoke my pecan

If you ever considered becoming a tax evader, this would be the year to do it. I did my taxes on Monday and not only am I not getting a refund, but I OWE the government 4X more than I did last year. The only think I can think to attribute this to would be the prosperity of the stock market which brought me good returns on my reinvested dividends. I have a small amount of money invested in ONE mutual fund that did well last year and I accrued pretty close to the EXACT amount of money I now owe to the government in taxes. Whose idea was this? After I pay, I will be right back where I was last year financially. So an entire year of investing is now moot thanks to Bushy’s regime and the expenses of a war I don’t believe in. God bless America.

This has, however, inspired me to open a ROTH IRA. That way I can shield my savings from taxes until I retire, at which time we will either have a nice Democratic president in office and I will be able to spend my money in peace, or else, the government will take it all and I will have to keep working until I drop dead. Call it a fun long-term social experiment!

February 22, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Or wait mortician

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

Dom and I met Brugos at the Wild Rose early so that we could secure a table for karaoke. We ordered dinner and, after a while, started to become suspicious about the lack of set-up for the night’s events. Eventually, one of us got the bright idea to actually ASK if karaoke was happening (in accordance with their online schedule). It wasn’t. Wade and Elyse arrived in time for us to deliver the bad news, but we still needed to wait for their friend Alief (sp?) from “the lab” so show up. This gave us time to decide where we would go to satiate our karaoke hunger. We bandied between two choices: China Gate and Bush Garden. But since it was late, and our waitress suggested it, we chose China Gate because we were more likely to get a table and plenty of singing time. Alief arrived, and we all piled into Brugos’ Mustang (which feels a LOT smaller when you’re crammed on top of your boyfriend in the front seat, as I was). But we made it to China Gate without incident.

We had our pick of tables in the bar. After confirming that there was, in fact, karaoke that night, we set about ordering. Alief hadn’t eaten so she got a combo meal for the rest of us to munch on. It was all meaty but it looked pretty good.

We got our mitts on the karaoke books and confirmed what Brugos had told us about the selection being rather weak. Still, there were a few songs for each of us to pick, and since the place was empty, we didn’t have to worry about embarrassing ourselves.

Eventually, other people did show up. A group of girls sat in front of us and a fratty fellowship sat across from us. No matter. We still got to sing as many songs as we desired. Alief and Wade broke their karaoke cherries. Alief sang “You Can Find Me In The Club” (or whatever that song is called) in her adorable Turkish accent, and then she and Wade shared duties on “La Bamba” and “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record). Brugos and Elyse sang several terrific duets and Dom sang “Live and Let Die”. I did “One More Try” by George Michael and “November Rain” (the shortened version…again. I’ve only had the pleasure to sing the long version once). Later, I squeezed in a little Belinda Carlisle. I took a few good pictures, which I will upload later, but my battery died early on, so I didn’t get a picture of the fantastic triple threat of Dom, Wade and Brugos singing “500 Miles”.

I drank a bit more than I’d planned too, but I spaced it out enough so that my magical 3-glasses-of-water hangover prevention worked just dandy.

SATURDAY

I spent the morning resting and pampering myself for the epic evening ahead. I did a few last minute preparations, gathered my decorations and makeup, and headed to Fremont in my new dress to meet Gene and Brugos at American Music. We picked up the MASSIVE stereo system that we’d rented for Gene’s DJing duties and somehow got the whole thing in Brugos’ Mustang. Unfortunately, we had to sacrifice one passenger in the process. Gene was chivalrous enough to volunteer, and he set off to get a bus to Brugos’ house. Meanwhile, Brugos and I drove the gear to his house, unloaded it, gained a Brad, and went to Trader Joe’s for some last minute shopping. I bought some bread and cheese and Brugos bough a case of Two Buck Chuck. Next, we met Gene at the Wayward Café for dinner. I had never been there before, but was very excited about the prospect of a menu that not only contained ALL VEGAN food items (meaning I had free run of the place) but that also received rave reviews from 3 rabid meat eaters. I ordered the Brit Breakfast, which consisted of veggie sausage, beans and an English muffin. Simple yet delicious. I also stole a bite of Gene’s Portobello Mushroom Biscuits and Gravy which were incredible. I definitely must go back there.

Around 7:30, we headed back to Brugos’ to begin decorating, and setting up the DJ equipment. We had a few technical difficulties to start. We didn’t have the right headphone adaptor and the antiquated equipment wouldn’t properly recognize Gene’s burned CDs. However, where old technology fails to adapt to change, new technology thankfully makes concessions for the elderly. Brad was able to hook his lap top up to the stereo and Gene could play his CDs, and run i-tunes through the speakers. Problem solved.

Meanwhile, Brugos whipped up a few batches of Sangria and I lit candles, blew up black balloons, and artfully placed the black paper roses I’d spend the last week making. We were ready!

People began to arrive and everyone looked great. I was really impressed with how accurate and painstaking peoples’ outfits were. There was a lot of attention to detail. I began to chug the way-too-delicious Sangria, forgetting how much rum was actually IN the recipe.

A man who wasn’t in costume, and whom I’d never seen before approached me. He asked me if I was Jessica. I said I was. He said that he was from the Stranger’s Party Crashers and he thanked me for inviting him. I didn’t tell him that I HADN’T invited him and that I was surprised to see him there. (Especially considering how many fundraisers and film screenings we have personally invited the Stranger too in the past that they’ve utterly ignored.) He told me that he loved the idea and he asked me some questions about its conception. I explained to him that Elyse had come up with it, but that she didn’t feel she had the proper Goth background to pull it off, so she called in the experts and that our friend with the biggest house volunteered to let us hold it there. He took a few pictures of me and Faye (one, right in front of our “Dark Deadness” poster from “Snow Day”!) and thanked us again. He spent the evening writing notes furiously in a pad and talking to random people. He seemed pretty cool but since everyone else had dressed up, he looked quite out of place. He became the pet project of the party, as people “gothed him up” throughout the evening. It was cute, and I suppose there is a good chance we might actually get written up this week. Look out for that.

Meanwhile, Gene spun the tunes, and oh how people danced. It was a lot of fun. I only wish the Sangria hadn’t been so deceptively delicious. I tried to dance a bit, but realized I was too drunk to attempt agile movements. So I sat on the couch, causing Gene to reprimand me for my lack of dancing. I felt bad, and vowed to boogie when I felt better. I started drinking water but it was too late. The nausea took hold and I had to leave. It was late enough so that no one noticed, and talking to Brugos the next day, it turns out the party didn’t last much longer anyway. I wish I could have cut more wood floor though.

The Party Crasher dude was still there when we left. He seemed to be enjoying himself immensely. All in all, I’d say the party was quite the success. Thanks to Brugos for returning that behemoth of a stereo by himself.

Pictures!
And more Pictures!

SUNDAY

Whenever I feel nauseous from drinking, I need to sleep on the couch. So there I slept, much to the chagrin of my back. I was only able to transport myself to my bed around 7am. I knew I needed to sleep as long as possible, so I didn’t get up till about 11.

Once I got up and had a nice greasy plate of hashbrowns, I felt well enough to DO something with my day. But what? I called Faye and she had no ideas. Eventually, she came up with a (perhaps ill-conceived) trip to Half-Price Books and the drug store. But first: DDR at her house! I hope her downstairs neighbor is gone every Sunday because I’m really enjoying my high-impact aerobic Sundays.

I got lucky because Faye got to the Graphic Novels section before me so she saved me from spending money on all the good stuff. I instead bought a few single issues from the bin that looked interesting, bringing my splurge total in under $20. Thanks, Faye.

After that, we decided to return to my house to pick a movie to watch, and to order Thai food. We ordered from Samui on 15th, which had VERY delicious food. Unfortunately, the guy that owns the place is a total prick, so I don’t think I can ever order delivery from them again. Faye heard me give him my address, apartment number and phone number correctly. He said it would be there in 35 minutes. An hour and a half later, we still had no food, so we decided to call and check on it. The guy sounded really pissed off. “I went to your apartment” he said. “I buzzed apartment 302 and no one answered. Then I tried calling your number and it was a wrong number”. I said that my apartment number was 203 and that is what I had given him. He told me that I had definitely told him 302. He read me back my phone number and he had inverted two numbers. I gave him my correct number. I should have had him read those numbers back to me because he had read my credit card number back to me and had inverted two of those numbers as well. He said he could bring me the food again, but that “I’m really busy now and so I won’t be able to come for a while. You will just have to be patient”. After hanging up, I told Faye what had happened, and she pointed out the fact that I had also given the man my first and last name which are printed on the buzzer RIGHT NEXT to my apartment number. I don’t know why he didn’t want to bring us our food (we’d ordered well over the minimum order amount, they OFFER delivery, and we only live two blocks away). 40 minutes later, he showed up with our reheated food. I didn’t give him a tip. I knew this would seal my fate with the guy and I could never order from them again, but damnit, I was not going to let him be a prick to me for the numerous mistakes that he made. As we ate the food, I began to regret the lack of tip a little bit. Even reheated, it was REALLY FUCKING DELICIOUS. So if anyone wants to order Thai food delivery in Capital Hill, can I come over?

While we waited for our food, we watched Wedding Crashers which was so bad in so many ways. Bad horror movies are usually awesome. Bad dramas can be awesome. Bad TEEN comedies can also be awesome. But bad adult comedies are pretty much just not funny and therefore not at all enjoyable. Bummer. My boss had lent me the DVD because he thought it was hilarious. I’m pretty sure he finds it hilarious because the Vince Vaughn character talks JUST LIKE my boss. He told me that if I liked ZoolanderI would like Wedding Crashers. I have no idea where he got that comparison, besides the presence of Owen Wilson. Oh, Owen…you used to be so talented. But I feel some hacks coming on.

February 21, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: , , . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

receptive jubilant remand

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

Dom and I strolled down to The Superbig Collective to see the premiere of Alesia’s short “Future Syn”. The space was pretty weird inside. I guess it’s kind of an artist’s co-op so there are a lot of different rooms for different types of art, and they’re all off of a narrow hallway type-area (where the most of the party was). So there was a lot of standing and moving out of people’s way so they could get past. Still, there was free food (cheese and meat) and an open bar (run by Alesia’s dad, who I know…so I couldn’t go back to the bar as often as I wanted to). The movie itself: it’s very distracting to watch a movie full of people you know and hang out with all the time. I wonder if Hollywood people have the same problem.

SATURDAY

Meep and I decided to go shopping on Broadway to find her an outfit for the My Bloody Valentine’s Day party next Saturday (if you’re not coming, it better be because you live in another state, because it’s going to be AWESOME). Anyway, we went to Crossroads, and perused the massive costume section of Red Light. Of course, I found a dress because I, of all people, needed something new to wear to a gothic-themed party. Meep found a cute top. We were good to go. Next stop, back to Meep’s house to pick up the ghetto Lemongrass Lime Rikis I made and then off to the Meridian to watch “Final Destination 3”.

FD3 was cool. We knew there was no way it was going to be as awesome as FD2, but it still had potential, just based on the fact that it features a lot of teenagers getting killed. Sure, Mary Elizabeth Winstead is no A.J. Cook, and Ryan Merriman is no Poor Man’s Wes Bentley, but it was extremely enjoyable nonetheless. I think the Death’s Design franchise works so well because there are no cheesy-looking monsters to ruin the mood. Just lots of bloody, goopy teenage slaughter. I won’t spoil any of the specific death scenes, but I will say that there were some pretty cool effects involving many sharp objects.

The audience was refreshing for a horror movie. At least, one group was. Meep and I were relieved, for once, to not be the only people taking delight in Death’s Design. There was also a couple (who sat right in front of us in a ¾ empty theatre). The guy seemed to be enjoying himself. The verdict is still out on his girlfriend. Some dumb shits did, however, BRING A KID TO FINAL DESTINATION 3. I don’t care if you can’t get a babysitter or if the kid swears up and down they won’t be frightened when they inevitably see brains flying everywhere. Both you and the kid can rent the damned movie in 5 years.

After the movie, Meep and I had a little time to kill and I was hungry, so we went to Gameworks to first, split a “Really Big Quesadilla”, a house salad and two Zombies (which were horrible, by the way. Don’t order the Zombie unless you are able to eat spoonfuls of sugar without flinching. I felt like I was becoming instantly diabetic after every sip). We still had about half an hour after our meal before we had to catch the bus to the U-District, so we bought $7 Gameworks cards and ran around to try and find where they’d put DDR. They replaced the two DDR stations in the front with two House of the Dead 4 stations. HotD4 looked pretty awesome, but Meep said she didn’t have $40 to spend on beating it. We found ONE DDR station, but it looked like the guy was in it for the long haul. So we checked the two air hockey tables, but they were overrun with kids also. We waited as long as we could, but we had to catch the bus. So now we have $14 worth of Gameworks fun at a future date when the place isn’t doubling as a day care.

Off to the U, where we got to Café Allegro just in time for the Tangents to start their set. We had to squeeze in right in the front row, which was a little weird, (probably more for Elyse and Rene than for us). Luckily, we know them well enough to be all up in their face while they play. They sounded awesome, as usual. Elyse rocked the cello and the egg maraca.

After the show, we headed downstairs to the College Inn, and hung out till almost closing. I really like the College Inn, but I wish to hell they’d turn the juke box up. If I put in $5 worth of songs, I want to be able to hear them over the chitter chatter of college students.

SUNDAY

My day began with breakfast with Charlie’s with Gene and Sherwood. It was a beautiful, sunny and warm day, so we decided to walk around a little bit after. We wandered down to That’s Atomic, which I’ve never been inside of…and still haven’t. It was closed. Then we walked back up to Easy Street, where I bought Killer Rats and Wicked City. I have never heard of either of these movies, but I had to get Killer Rats because of Ron Perlman and the hilarious picture on the back (which I couldn't find on the internet anywhere). And Wicked City just looked kind of cool. They were both $6, so what the hell.

Gene had to get home and Sherwood had to run to his office to check on his poor fish who may or may not have survived a power outage. I paid Meep a surprise visit which was fortuitous for me, as her neighbor wasn’t home. This means…DDR marathon! We played DDR till we couldn’t be upright anymore, and then proceeded with the evening’s plans which involved an organic vegetarian spaghetti-o’s feast and Blade: Trinity. Blade: Trinity is every bit as awful as I’ve heard. Even Ryan Reynolds’ bulging pecs and sardonic demeanor couldn’t save it. Even PATTON OSWALT couldn’t save it. Jesus, it was bad. The script felt like a first draft by a 12-year old. The special effects were hackneyed. When the dialogue wasn’t being painful to listen to, it was just boring. Do NOT waste your time in this one. No redeeming value. None.

But no matter. I had a lot of fun this weekend. I saw some great music, lots of violent head injuries and played DDR with my BFF. Wesley Snipes would have to make another 5 Blade movies to put a damper on that. And from what I hear, he may never get work in Hollywood again.

NEXT WEEKEND: Lesbian karaoke and My Bloody Valentine’s Day!

February 14, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

jwakeup rat insult

The weekend recap isn't done yet cos I'm working on moooooovie stuff. In the meantime, it's memetime.

1. My Dad Once: solved crimes. Seriously. He was a detective in the Air Force.

2. Never in my life: have I enjoyed a Julia Roberts movie.

3. The one person who can drive me nuts, but then can always manage to make me smile: Meep.

4. High School was: way different for me than it was for everyone else I currently know.

6. My first real love was: Optimus Prime.

7. If I were to get married right now my bridesmaids/groomsmen would be: God, who of my friends would I torture to be bridesmaids? Meep would obviously be Maid of Honor. How many do I get? And I would probably have to put Sherwood there somewhere too, just so I could make him wear a purple frilly thing.

8. I get nervous when: I know I'm supposed to be pitching myself to important people.

9. When I was 5: I saw my first horror movie, Poltergeist.

10. Last Christmas I: actually enjoyed myself because I was not with my immediate family or convalescing.

11. When I turn my head left: I see what’s to the left of me.

12. When I turn my head right: it cracks.

13. The craziest Family Event was: the last Christmas I spent with my mom’s side in Fairfield, CT. Several people got drunk (myself included), fought (I hid in the basement) and cried and my Grandmother said that Cubans are taking our jobs. This from a woman who’s parents immigrated in 1901 and who has never worked a day in her life.

14. If I was a character on Friends I'd be: the nemesis of the main characters.

15. By this time next year: I’ll be in pre-production.

16. My favorite day is: Saturday.

17. I have a hard time understanding: why people can't stand on the right on escalators.

18. One time at: hippie camp, I got poison ivy on my neck from a boy I made out with.

19. You know I “like” you if: I try to pat your tummy.

20. If I won an award, the first person (people) I'd thank would be: the people who gave me the award.

21. Take my advice: never lend money to a man with a sense of humor.

22. My ideal breakfast is: the full English, with veggie meats.

23. If you visit my hometown: you would think it was really pretty but very boring and backward.

24. If you spend the night at my house: Tobe would sleep on your chest.

25. I'd stop my wedding if: I woke up from the roofies and realized what was happening.

26. The world could do without: fur coats.

27. I'd rather have: a beer.

28. My favorite blonde is: Amanda.

29. Paper clips are more useful than: children.

30. If I do anything well, it is: making schedules in Excel.

32. The last time I laughed: was yesterday, hanging out with Meep. We laugh a lot.

33. The animals I would like to see flying besides birds: flightless birds?

34. I shouldn't be: so tired, after all the sleep I got last night.

35. Once, at a bar: Once? Yeah right.

36. Last night: Meep and I watched Blade: Trinity, which I think must have been written by a 12-year-old boy.

37. There's this girl I know who: is in this totally rad band.

38. A better name for me would be: Chesty LaRue.

39. When I go back to college I'll: hit on Freshmen.

40. Next time I go to church: God will smite me.

February 13, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

meme me

This could be fun. For me, anyway. YOU GUYS fill in the blanks in the comments section to see how well you know me. No cheating by looking at old memes!

my name:

Where did we meet:

How long have you known me:

When is the last time that we saw each other:

Do I smoke:

Do I drink:

When is my birthday:

What was your first impression of upon meeting me:

Do I have any siblings:

What's one of my favorite things to do:

Am I funny:

What's my favorite type of music:

What is the best feature about me:

Am I shy or outgoing:

Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:

Do I have any special talents:

Would you consider me a friend/good friend:

Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy,
snobby, or something else (what):

What is a memory we have once had:

Have you ever hugged me:

Do you want me:

Do you miss me…do you think i miss you:

What is my favorite food:

Have you ever had a crush on me:

If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:

What's your favorite memory of me:

Who do I like right now:

What is my worst habit:

If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what one thing would I bring?

Are we friends:

Will you repost this so I can do it for you?:

February 10, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Borg Turns out

METAL/ROCK EITHER/OR MEME.
Some douche bag pitted 100 (or so) Classic Rock and Metal artists against each other for the ultimate pointless survey meme! Who do you like better? Do you even like metal at all? Pretend that you do and take this meme! Rock on!

1. The Beatles or The Rolling Stones? The Beatles.

2. Queen or The Eagles? Queen.

3. Ozzy or Dio? Ozzy.

4. Iron Maiden or Judas Priest? Priest.

5. Jimi Hendrix or Stevie Ray Vaughn? Hendrix.

6. The Beach Boys or The Monkees? MONKEES!!

7. Steve Vai, Yngwie Malmsteen or Joe Satriani? I really don’t care for any of them.

8. Led Zeppelin or The Who? The Who.

9. Pink Floyd or Yes? Yes.

10. Queensryche or Rush? Queenryche simply because Geddy Lee may be the best bass player ever, but his voice annoys the crap out of me.

11. Lynyrd Skynyrd or Creedence Clearwater Revival (CCR)? CCR

12. KISS or AC/DC? Kiss.

13. Nirvana or Pearl Jam? Nirvana.

14. Favorite Member of the Beatles? I’m going to have to be a big hippie and say John.

15. Favorite Member of the Who? What if I’d said I preferred Zeppelin? I like Townshend.

16. Dark Side of the Moon or The Wall? The one that sounds good when you’re high.

17. Guns N' Roses or Motley Crue? G n’ R.

18. Ratt or Quiet Riot? Quiet Riot.

19. Bob Dylan or Eric Clapton? Dylan before he hocked underwear.

20. Hair Metal or Heavy Metal? Hair.

21. The Clash or The Sex Pistols? The Clash, duh.

22. The Mars Volta or Coheed & Cambria? I’m uniformed.

23. Black Sabbath or Deep Purple?

24. Randy Rhodes or Zack Wylde? I don’t care.

25. Aerosmith or Bon Jovi? Bon Jovi’s acting career.

26. David Lee Roth or Sammy Haggar? They’re both twats.

27. Van Halen or Def Leppard? Def Leppard!

28. Brian Johnson or Bon Scott? Don’t care.

29. Velvet Revolver or Audioslave? Soundgarden.

30. Grace Slick or Janis Joplin? Starship.

31. Woodstock or Ozzfest? ChefAide.

32. Elton John or Billy Joel? Elton before he wrote before cartoon lions.

33. Journey or Foreigner? Why must I choose? Ok, Journey.

34. Kazaa or Napster? I don’t care.

35. Beastie Boys or Run DMC? Beasties.

36. Cinderella or Whitesnake? Coverdale/Page.

37. U2 or REM? REM, mainly because I HATE U2.

38. Motorhead or Metallica? MOTORHEAD!

39. Dream Theater or King Crimson? Smashing Pumpkins.

40. Boston or Blue Oyster Cult? Boston.

41. The Cure or The Smiths? The Cure.

42. Tom Petty or Dire Straits? Tom Petty

43. Jethro Tull or The Doors? The Doors. Is this even a fair comparison?

44. Poison or the Scorpions? Poison.

45. Skid Row or Twisted Sister? Skid Row.

46. Smashing Pumpkins or Radiohead? Rodeohead.

47. Kansas or Nazareth? Why wasn’t Kansas pitted against Boston? Something is screwy here.

48. ZZ Top or Blackfoot? Those vampires in “Sundown”.

49. Steve Miller Band or Marshall Tucker Band? The Twitty/Stevens Connection.

50. Ted Nugent or Peter Frampton? Frampton on account of the fact that he doesn’t raise animals only to hunt them down with a crossbow in his back yard.

February 8, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy, The Soundtrack . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

+ by wakeup precondition

1. When showering, do you start the water and then get in?
Only people who like sharp blasts of cold water would do otherwise.

2. Do you read the labels on your shampoo bottle?
No.

3. Do you moan in the shower like the people on the herbal essence commercial?
Only if I’m not in there alone.

4. Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex?
See above.

5. Have you ever been forced to shower with your siblings?
No. My brother is 8 years older than me.

6. Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?
No.

7.) Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot?
Yes. And shampoo bottles which are more painful.

8. How old do you really look?
I’ve gotten everything from 22-27.

9. How old do you act?
24?

10. What's the last song you sang?
Out Loud? “Fat Bottom Girls”.

11. Have you recently become a member of anything?
TPS per Dom.

12. What are your plans for the weekend?
A film premiere on Friday and a matinee of Final Destination 3, followed by a performance by the Tangents on Saturday!

13. Do you kiss with your eyes opened or closed?
Fast kisses are usually open, so as to avoid injury. Slow kisses are closed.

14. Do you ever intentionally vomit after eating?
All of my vomiting is unintentional.

15. Have you ever called anyone a slut?
Yes.

16. Have you ever been called a slut?
Yes. Funnily enough, it was during a time when I’d only ever slept with one guy. I was kissing a lot of people though.

17. Have you ever smuggled something into America?
Does Solpadine count? I wasn’t really hiding the fact that I had 3 boxes of it. I was just planning on telling them, if they asked, that I got really sick while I was on vacation.

18. Does playing the guitar make a guy more attractive?
Sometimes.

19. Have you ever finished off the popcorn?
Yes. Why? Is that a bad thing?

20. How many people do you think would come to your funeral?
I’m sure I have no idea. But I just finished writing my will which calls for a big happy wake, so I’m sure lots of people are gonna want to crash that one.

21. How many of them would come just to make sure you're dead?
I think that if anyone hated me that much, I would know about it.

22. Do you have more enemies or more friends?
I have many nemeses, but they don’t know that. I have a few people I never want to see again, but I wouldn’t call them my enemy, because they aren’t actively trying to hurt me or anyone I care about at this moment.

23. Have you ever sent an anonymous letter?
Nope. If I have the guts to write the letter, I will want to sign it.

24. Can you fix your own car?
Yes. Invisible cars are very easy to fix.

25. Have you ever turned someone down for a date?
Yes.

26. Are you smarter than your friends?
No. I don’t enjoy hanging out with people who can’t hold a conversation.

27. Have you ever been arrested?
Nope.

28. Have you been beaten up?
No.

29. Should you have?
No way. I’m a nice girl!

30. Do you like the taste of beer?
Unfortunately for my waist line.

31. Have you ever died or killed someone in a dream?
Both.

32. Have you ever given to charity?
Yes.

33. Would you kill a dog for $1000?
It's one of the few things I wouldn't do for any price.

34. Do you sometimes get depressed?:

Of course.

35. Do you live with your parents?
Ohgodno.

February 7, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

and suddenly asked sternly:

1. Spell your last name backward?

Retxab. A new drug for penile dysfunction.

2. Story behind your first name:

My parents almost named me Matilda (which would have been awesome), but changed their minds at the last minute and went with the then uncommon, Jessica. That year, Jessica was the #1 name chosen for a girl, resulting in years at school of being known as Jessica B. or Jessica #3.

3. When's your birthday:

September 8.

4. Where do you live?

Seattle, WA

~DESCRIBE YOUR:~

5. Wallet:

A dirty leopard print wallet from the Bon.

6. Eyes:

They’re blue.

7. Toothbrush:

A turquoise GUM brand I got free from the dentist.

8. Jewelry worn:

A Celtic knot ring that used to belong to Dom’s mother.

9. Cell Phone:

A 3+ year old Erickson with no frills and an Opus sticker on the back. Ring tone: Shpadoinkle Day!

10. Pillow cover right now:

Black.

11. Car:

Public Transportation!

12. Bedroom:

Actually clean for once, since I had to make sure there wasn’t anything Tobe could vengefully pee on while I was away.

13. Sunglasses:

Some cheap ones from the drug store. I never pay more than $15 for sunglasses or umbrellas because I will ALWAYS lose or break them.

14. Cologne/Perfume:

None.

15. CD in stereo right now:

I-pod shuffle.

16. What you are wearing now:

Red paisley skirt, black top and cardigan.

17. Wishing:

For some generous and adventurous investors.

18. Wanting:

To quit my job.

19. What are you doing After this:

Back to work.

20. If you could get away with it and murder anyone who would it be:

Well, I don’t even believe in the death penalty, but I wish something very bad would happen to Lil’ D.

21. Person you wish you could see right now:

Dom and Faye.

22. Some of your favorite movies:

Back to the Future
Zoolander
Wet Hot American Summer
I shant go on.

23. Something you're looking forward to in the coming week:

Seeing a matinee of Final Destination 3 with Faye.

24.Something you just ate:

Haven't eaten yet. So hungry…

25. Something you are deathly afraid of:

After seeing “The Descent”, spelunking.

26. Do you like candles:

Sure.

27. Do you like incense:

Not really. It makes me sneeze and smells like hippies.

28. Do you like the taste of blood:

Not really, but I’m not above sucking a papercut.

29. Do you believe in love:

Yes.

30. Do you believe in love at first sight:

No.

31. Do you believe in Heaven:

No.

32. Do you believe in God:

Not any forms of God I’ve heard of so far.

33. Can you eat with chopsticks:

Yes, but apparently, my form is poor.

34. What's your favorite coin:

The ones that buy me stuff.

35. What are some of your favorite candies:

Sour Patch Kids, Mambos, Tootsie Rolls, Almond Joy, Cinnamon Bears.

36. What's something you wish you could understand better:

Human Nature.

37. Are you shy around your crush:

No.

38. Do you know what it feels like to be in love:

Yes.

39. Would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friend?:

Everything can be replaced except friends and pets.

February 6, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

I study furtive

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY
My Friday evening began uncertainly, as I had been waiting all day to see if I would be able to go to Tacoma with the Bobcats. Unfortunately, it was not in the cards, as they could offer me a ride down, but not a ride back. I had no problem taking the bus, but the last bus to Seattle would have had me leaving at 10:30, hardly worth the trip.

Instead, I met Meep, Andrew, Brugos, Justin, and Sherwood at Kozak’s. I really like the food and atmosphere (extremely mellow) there, but I have to say that their on-tap cider, Woodchuck, leaves a very unpleasant aftertaste that makes me feel as though I’ve imbibed a packet of Smarties. As it is indeed mellow at Kozak’s, our time there was uneventful.

We lost Andrew, and then moseyed up the street to The Canterbury. That is one bar that has DEFINITELY suffered since the smoking ban. Not so much with clientèle, but with the fact that the lack of smoke leaves the various pukey, pungent odors of the place to roam freely to our noses. Someone really needs to flood that place with bleach.

We sat in the back, and Brugos severely beat my ass for two rounds of shuffle board. To be fair (to me), it was only the second time I’d played the game. Unlike pool for me, alcohol does NOT improve my shuffle board skills.

Everyone was pretty tired (the theme of the weekend, actually), so we decided to call it a night…after one more drink at a new place up the street called 22 Doors.

22 Doors is definitely not our scene. The music they played was loud and repetitive. Their drinks (apart from the PBR) were overpriced, and their food (even though we weren’t eating), was poncy and infused with various herbs meant to sound impressive. I don’t know how it happened, but even though I was about to fall asleep AT the table, I managed to stay out till 1:30 in the morning. I guess my inner party child refused to let my outward old lady waste a Friday.

SATURDAY
Saturday was a day full of designs that never came to fruition. I was supposed to go to yoga but the scary wind outside convinced me otherwise. Was anyone else freaked out by the wind? I have never heard our building creak before, but it was definitely creaking ALL night Friday night. Not to mention the tree next to our window that was bowing so much that it loudly scratched the side of our building. At a few points, I entertained the thought that Dom and I should move to the living room, lest we become impaled by a tree in our own beds.

Meep and I were supposed to have a writer’s meeting, but Meep woke up feeling under the weather (a cold, not a hangover), so instead, I spent all day surfing the internet, and trying to find my most Anime-looking outfit for Kayobi’s DDR party that night.

You know what? I really don’t have anything remotely Anime. I settled on a frilly short black skirt and some high boots. I found some cat ears too. That would have to do.

While I waited for Party Time, Dom and I watched “Kinsey”. I liked it. It was nice watching Liam Neeson actually ACT for one, instead of giving his usual (I find) monotone performance. Also…hey, they’re Peter Sarsgaard’s penis! There’s not nearly enough full-frontal male nudity in narrative film, if you ask me.
Meep and I headed to the Wok and Grill around 8 for the DDR party. They were having technical difficulties from the get-go. Eventually, it came down to needing one very specific cable. A few people ran back to their homes to see if they had it. Dom eventually came through, dropping it off on his way to Vashon. And the dancing revolution began…

As much as I love both DDR AND the Wok and Grill, it was kind of hard doing it in that space. We were tucked into a corner with 4 pads and a projection screen about 10 feet from our face. It was really difficult to keep our feet on the pads and look up at that angle at the same time. Still, it was nice to be able to DDR at all, as I definitely suffer from withdrawal. I’m eternally jealous of both Kayobi and Meep who actually have neighbors whose schedules they can keep track of, allowing them to DDR at a moment’s notice. My neighbor is a crazy recluse and so you can pretty much bet that at any moment during the day, our movements disturb him.

The place began to fill up around 11, so we decided to take our leave and go back to Meep’s house for some quality sitting time. Gene and Borg were in tow. We watched SNL (how sad that there’s a whole generation of kids out there who don’t know that Steve Martin used to be hilarious). Despite the frequency of lame guests, I really like the current cast. Most of them have loads of natural talent and they don’t rely on a popular gimmicky recurring character and 15 minute one-joke sketches anymore. The few recurring characters they do have are diverse enough to always feel fresh. In addition to being hilarious, the current cast is definitely the most attractive cast in SNL history. There are only a few folks in the bunch that I wouldn’t make out with. (Darrell Hammond, you know who you are…)

After SNL, it was definitely time for bed. Another mellow weekend night that still kept me up till last call.

SUNDAY
Again I was (unfortunately for my increasingly doughy mid-section), unable to make it to yoga, as Meep had convinced me to watch the Super Bowl with her at Kozak’s. We arrived around 2:45 to an already rather full bar. Meep and I got the best seats we could (still frustratingly uncomfortably close to both the door and the projector screen, and we settled in for the long hall.

The wait staff was an eclectic bunch. The bus boy wore a Seahawks jersey and was clearly jazzed about the game. Our waiter, who looked like the love child of Mino Poulose (sp?) and Mickey Dolenz, wore a v-neck sweater with white shirt and tie underneath, pin-stripe pants and a page-boy cap. He clearly wasn’t interested in the game, but seemed amused by the bar patrons nonetheless. He was very polite and attentive and would have been an ideal recipient for an Archie McPhee’s tip, but I sadly didn’t have any cards on me. (For a while now, Meep and I have taken to leaving, in addition to a cash tip, a novelty trading card from Archie McPhee’s to waiters who seem like they would appreciate such things. For a while, I had some New Kids on the Block cards. I currently have a few “Perfect Strangers” cards left. I need to make another run to Archie’s to replenish our stock).

We ordered a side-dish spread (Kozak’s is a lot like a southern-style restaurant in that you can make a meal out of all the delicious sides they offer) of garlic mash, spiced apples, cucumber salad and chips and salsa. A word to the wise about Kozak’s: everything you order comes in monstrous proportions. Unless you normally find yourself finishing other people’s meals, plan on sharing everything you order, and order less than you think you can eat.

Meep drank Manny’s, and I put Mino’s bartending knowledge to the test by ordering a bevy of cocktails. This turned out to be a poor idea come bill-paying time. Turns out drinks that contain Koluha are not cheap.

The bar was really rowdy for a while, but of course, once the Seahawk’s fate was sealed, everyone settled down, stopped cursing loudly at the referee, and accepted the outcome. Too bad, really. It would have been nice for Seattle to have the Seahawks win. They really did play well, and even though I doubt I’ll start watching football on a regular basis, I did enjoy watching this game.

After the game, I tried to think of some movie or show that Meep and I could watch to help lift her spirits. Turns out, the best possible therapy for your team losing the Super Bowl, is to watch the Puppy Bowl (II) on Animal Planet. Meep had discovered this in the morning, but it was still being re-run in the evening. The concept is simple: puppies are placed in a miniature mock-up of a football stadium and are given lots of toys. They play with these toys over the course of 4 hours, while the sound effects of a stadium crowd and wacky music are played. Whenever something truly adorable happens, they cut to an instant replay. Whenever a puppy heads to the water bowl, they cut to the “bowl cam”, a camera placed underneath the bowl to get the waters-eye-view of a puppy drinking from the bowl, stepping in the bowl, or dropping a toy in the bowl. If a puppy poos on the field, they call a “puppy penalty”, in which a man in a referee outfit blows a whistle, comes out onto the field and cleans up the poo.

What could half-time bring for the Puppy Bowl? Why, kitten! Kittens on a three-tiered stage with toys of their own, while disco music and glitter ball strobes them! For the finale, confetti was dropped on their bewildered, sleepy heads. Whoever came up with this concept is an absolute genius. The fact that it was the Puppy Bowl II, leads me to believe that they will be back next year with more puppies! If anyone needs any ideas for a future gift for Meep (or anybody who likes puppies and kittens), for whatever reason, I think the Puppy Bowl DVD would pretty much be perfect.

I fell asleep around 10:30. I did a lot of resting this weekend. Somehow, I still feel exhausted. I think I’m going to avoid mid-week drinking and partying until SXSW, because even though I wasn’t hung over in Park City, I may have a vacation hangover that I’m still recovering from.

Next weekend: The Tangents play!

February 6, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

purposive wretch may connive

And now back to the memes…

1. Initials:
JKBB. Yes, I have one of those extra long names.

2. Name someone with the same birthday as you.
Besides Dom, I’ve got teen heartthrob of the mid-nineties, Jonathan Taylor Thomas!

3. Favorite fruit?
Pineapple.

4. For or against same sex marriage?
Completely for.

5. Are you allergic to anything?
Penicillin and sulfas.

6. Are you bisexual?
No.

7. Have you ever slept in someone else’s clothes?
Yep.

8. How many U.S states have you been to?
22 I think

9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in?
6.

10. Have you ever lived outside the U.S?
Yes.

.11. Name something physical you like about yourself?
Nice looking eyes, I guess.

12. Something non-physical?
I try to be considerate of other people whenever possible.

13. Do you have any pets?
Tobe the Special Needs Cat.

14. What is your dream car?
One that is the size of a moped, runs on vegetable oil and doesn’t cause traffic. That or a Delorian that travels through time.

15. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
I have a few first-time travel destinations in mind.

16. Are you bipolar?
No.

17. What dream car do you want your husband/wife to drive?
Unicorn.

18. Where would you want to go on a first date?
Somewhere quiet, comfortable and well-lit.

19. Would you date the person who posted this before you?
No.

20. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
Yes. I’ve had a few guys serenade me with acoustic Oasis songs. It’s a surefire way to my pants.

21. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Sounds dangerous.

22. Do you like president Bush?
I neither like him nor like him like him.

23. Have you ever bungee jumped?
No thank you.

24. Have you ever white water rafted?
No. But my dad has, so I’d feel safe-ish trying it.

25.Has anyone 10 years(or older) ever hit on you?
10-year-olds didn’t even hit on me when I was 10. But old men have hit on me plenty. That’s what happens when you ride the bus.

26. Are you racist?
I don’t think so.

27. What song are you listening to right now?
Commercials on Indie 103.1

28. What's your favorite song at the moment?
I haven’t had a “favorite song” since middle school.

29. What was the last movie you watched?
“Tarnation”. It was creepy.

30. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
Work. I’m there right now!

31. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property?
I haven’t, but a few people definitely would have deserved it.

32. Have you ever hit on someone of the opposite sex?
Yeeeees.

33. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Nerdability.

34. What's ur fav. body part on the opposite sex?
Why is this question abbreviated when none of the others were? I like little pot bellies on guys.

35. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Grande non-fat extra hot Chai.

36. Say something totally random about yourself.
My cat can eat a whole watermelon.

37. Do you have an iPod?
Yes. Christmas was good to me.

38. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yes. When I was in high school and had short red hair, people said I looked like Claire Danes. After that I’ve gotten quite a few (inexplicable) Patricia Arquettes and one or two Thora Birch in Ghost Worlds.

39. Do you have freckles?
Only on my shoulders.

40. Are you comfortable w/ your height?
More or less.

41. Do you love someone right now?
Several people.

42. How tall are you?
5'3”

43. Do you speak any other language other than english?
I can order beer in Czech.

44. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
Yes. From the beauty salon to my dad’s wedding with my future step-mom and step sister.

45. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
Yes.

46. Do you watch MTV?
Occasionally.

48. What's something that really annoys you?
People who don’t stand on the right on escalators.

49. What are some things you really like?
Garlic bread, my friends, Tobe, DDR.

50. Do you like Michael Jackson?
I liked him before he was possessed by an alien entity that doesn’t know how to pass for human.

51.Do you like to surf?
I like to watch Point Break.

52. Do you know how to pump gas?
Yeah. You put the thingy in the thingy.

53.do you drive?
I know HOW but I try to avoid it. RIDE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION!

54. What's the latest you have ever stayed out?
6:30am.

55. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
For a split second a couple of times.

56. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
No.

57. Have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do?
Of course. And you know what, eating cat vomit really IS like kissing a smoker.

58. Favorite state to live in?
Giddiness.

59. What color is your hair?
Naturally, it’s brown.

60. What color are your eyes?
Blue.

61. Do you have any special talents?
I can go limp and become impossible to move forcibly.

62. Favorite non-alcoholic drink?
Milk.

63. Favorite city that you've been too or would like to go?
Seattle.

64. Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull?
No. But Eliza Dushku makes it look so easy.

65. If you were working on a pirate ship, what would you most likely be?
The Galley Wench.

66. Who do you live with?
Dom, Tobe and Marilyn.

67. Last thing you watched on TV?
Beauty and the Geek. Yay! Josh hasn’t been kicked off yet!

68. Do you wear glasses or contacts?
Glasses.

69. Are you happy at the moment?
Reasonably. But there need to be some changes.

Ah. 69 questions. How delightfully clever.

February 3, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

« Previous Page — Previous page Next page — Next Page »

  • Calendar

    • January 2026
      M T W T F S S
       1234
      567891011
      12131415161718
      19202122232425
      262728293031  

  • Search