10 short questions for a gloomy Thursday.

1) If you could only repent for one thing when you die, what one thing would you choose?
If it turned out I had to repent, I suppose, I would repent for not believing in repentance. Sorry, God. My bad.

2) If you could talk to anyone in the world by phone, who would you choose?
They don’t have an email address? Then I don’t need to talk to them.

3) If, like the milk or the newspaper, you could have anything delivered to your front doorstep each and every day, what would it be?
Chai.

4) If you could have your voice sound like any other person, living or alive, who would that be and why?
Living OR alive? Such a broad spectrum. If we’re talking singing voice, Kim Shattuck from the Muffs. Speaking voice: Cate Blanchette.

5) Which month of the year do you think best describes your personality?
While I don’t particularly subscribe to astrology, I am 100% a Virgo type personality and therefore I shall choose September.

6) If you could make $100 a day by avoiding physical contact of any kind with another human being, how much money do you think you’d be able to make before you cracked?
$200 tops.

7) How much do the words “I love you” mean to you? Do you throw the word “love” around a lot? For example, if someone made a hilarious comment, might you exclaim “I love you!” while laughing, or are those words more sacred?
Your phrasing is strange but I see what you’re getting at. I do not throw the words around, no. But hyperbole is often unavoidable. For instance: “I LOVE the Starbucks breakfast sandwich!” does not necessarily mean that I want to marry it.

8) If everyone of your preferred gender suddenly disappeared from the face of the planet, would you prefer to switch teams or become celibate?
After a period of mourning over losing almost all of my friends, I would definitely switch teams. However, reading “The Last Man” series would have perhaps given me some false hope. (Although I haven’t finished it yet…so maybe there is no hope even in fiction?)

9) Would you be willing to donate your sperm/eggs for money, or just to help out couples who are unable to conceive?
If it weren’t as hard on the body and time consuming as I’ve heard it is to donate eggs, I would do it. However, I would want to make sure that the dad had some pretty strong genes to counteract my gimpy tendencies.

10) Do you think you could be genuinely happy being single for the rest of your life? (This is assuming that you just never meet/met mr./ms. right, not that something awful happened).
Only if everything else in my life (career, friends, money) was in line. So…probably not.

May 25, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Supposedly, this is a meme for “adults”, gleaned from myspace. Apparently, adults are primarily concerned with bills, chores, drinking and sex. Sounds about right.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Credit Card

2. What's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
Park or beach.

3. Last time you Puked from Drinking (Details)?
Austin, March 2006. Details very well documented in previous blog entry.

4. When is the last time you got drunk and woke up in a strange place?
Never done that.

5. Name of your First Grade Teacher?
Can’t remember.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Being done unpacking.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
A vet or a journalist.

8.How many colleges did you attend before you settled on the one you graduated from?
Just the one.

9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
Because it wasn’t dirty.

10. Gas Prices! First Thought?
Glad I don’t have a car.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you where would you go and who would you take?
I just finished moving so the thought of doing it again is not at all pleasant. Besides, I already live in the city I want to live in.

12. First Thought When the alarm went off this morning?
Crap. It’s only Tuesday.

By the way, what’s with All the random capitalization In this meme?

13. Last thought before Falling asleep last night?
I am so damned tired, falling asleep should be a piece of…

14. Favorite style of Underwear?
Bikini briefs.

15. Favorite style of Underwear for the opposite sex?
Boxers.

16. What Errand/Chore do you despise?
Picking up my clothes.

17. If you didn't have to work would you?
I certainly wouldn’t work in an office. I would use my freedom to pursue non-fruitful career choices. And wouldn’t at all complain if they eventually made me money.

18. Sex or Sleep?
Why must I choose?

19. Your Favorite Cartoon Character?
Optimus Prime.

20. Favorite non sexual thing to do at night with a girl/boy?
Be lazy.

21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
I only keep secrets that I don’t want everyone to know about. I know, weird, huh?

22. What was your First Car?
’89 Volvo station wagon.

23. Your Best Your Mamma Joke?
Your mamma is so fat that she has atherosclerosis.

24. Your Favorite Lunch Meat?
Deli style soy unicorn.

25. What do you get everytime you go into a WAWA?
The waha?

26. Beach Or Lake?
Beach

27. Do you think Marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at 20?
Not exactly, but I definitely have other issues with the concept.

28. Who do you Stalk on myspace?
Comedians.

29. Favorite Guilty Pleasure?
Bad supernatural dramas.

30. Favorite Movie you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about?
I am not ashamed of loving bad cinema so this probably doesn’t apply to me.

31. What's your drink?
I like vodka-based drinks. And Cook’s campagne.

32. Cowboys or Indians?
Indians.

33. Cops or Robbers?
Robbers.

34. Do you cheer for the bad guys?
Not always, but often. Especially when they’re played by Gary Oldman.

35. What Hollyood star do you think resembles you best?
I frequently hear Patricia Arquette.

36. If you had to pick one which cast member of Lost would you be?
I don’t watch Lost anymore, but from the time that I did, I would go with Shannon because she got to make out with Sayid and then she got to die and didn’t have to be on that crappy show anymore.

37. What do you want when you are sick?
Malt-o-meal and bananas or ritz crackers and juice.

38. Who from High School would you like to run into?
Michael Cross.

39. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
Don’t have a car, but I listen to indie 103.1 on the internet at work.

41. Stiffler or Oz?
Oz, but only if you mean the werewolf from Buffy. Otherwise, I don’t have a preference.

42. Norm or Cliff?
Totally don’t care.

43. The Cosby Show or the Simpsons?
Simpsons

44. Worst Relationship Mistake that you wish you could take back?
Giving a known asshole a second chance.

45. Do you Like the Person who sits directly across from you at work?
The person is a wall. And you know what? That wall is a FANTASTIC conversationalist.

46. If you could get away with it who would you kill?
The terrorists. I’m told they are the source of all the world’s problems.

47. What Famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Crispin Hellion Glover. (I know, predictable response. But damnit, it’s true).

48. What famous Person would you like to sleep with?
Captain Tight Pants

49. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
No. Nor for its unintended purpose, but it could be fun.

50. Last book you read for real?
For really reals? I’m assuming you aren’t counting graphic novels so I will say “Superstud” by Paul Feig.

51. Do you have a teddy bear?
I have my dad’s old teddy bear, Fred and various other stuffed animals acquired over time and carrying too much sentimentality for me to be rid of them.

52. Strangest Place you have ever had sex?
North Carolina.

53. Strangest Place you have ever wanted to have sex?
Work.

54. How many times a day do you text?
4-5?

55. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or relationship?
Career.

56. Do you go to church?
Nope.

57. Pencil or Pen?
Pen.

58. Describe your favorite Day?
No responsibilities and the sun shining.

60. How many jobs have you had?
12 or so?

61. What would be your “dream job”?
E! True Hollywood Story.

62. What do you want to achieve in life?
Contentment.

May 23, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Thanks, MarkTapioKines.

1. What motion picture in your opinion is the “perfect movie” (doesn't have to be your favorite film)?
Zoolander. (Mark took my Back to the Future answer…also, BttF MIGHT be my favorite movie. But it's so hard for me to commit to just one.)

2. Which U.S. state do you think has the friendliest residents?
Austin. I know it's not a state, but it definitely felt different from the rest of Texas. Perhaps it should be emancipated.

3. What's the slobbiest thing about you/your behavior?
The clutter in which I choose to live.

4. What's the most anal, OCD thing about you/your behavior?
Writing EVERYTHING that I have to do in my day planner and making lists on top of that.

5. If you were thrown into a closet and had to eat your way through ONE foodstuff to get to the door, what would you choose?
One would hope the closet contained chips and salsa.

6. Have you ever met anybody born in the 19th century?
Nope. My granparents were born right at the beginning of the 20th.

7. What's the most expensive thing you've ever won?
I rarely win anything of value. The only thing that comes to mind is a Tenacious D LP. $15?

8. What is the oldest man-made thing in your house?
I believe it is my father's teddy bear, Fred. Fred is 60 and is looking quite worse for wear.

9. Do you think you look better now than you did when you were 21?
Not especially.

10. How many of your exes are married now?
Only one that I'm aware of. However, I only keep in touch with a handful. It's possible that a few of them are dead.

11. How many of your exes have kids?
None that I know of.

12. How many of your exes now “play for the other team”?
See above.

13. If you could bring one famous person back from the dead, who would you choose?
Buddy Holly. I would have loved to have seen how his music evolved in the 60's. However, I have a theory that he would have just become Elvis Costello before Declan MacManus had a chance to.

14. What musical instrument do you wish you could play really well?
Moog.

15. What foreign language do you wish you could speak fluently?
Italian. (Or Gaelic)

16. If you woke up tomorrow and could either speak that language or play that instrument, which would you choose?
The language would be more useful, of course. But the vanity in me would probably choose the moog.

17. What band do you wish had put out more albums during their existence?
Buddy Holly and The Crickets.

18. What household chore do you never get around to doing?
Washing my sheets. Gross, I know.

19. What household chore does it seem like you're doing all the time?
Scooping cat litter.

20. Put an “x” next to all of the following careers you think you'd be good at:
(X) doctor (only if I can be a plastic surgeon though).
() lawyer
() politician
() detective
() fashion designer
() teacher

May 16, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

A fun little meme taken from Ahe’s myspace bulletin. Thanks, Ahe!

Would you rather fart in public or step in dog poo?
Farting, while perhaps more embarrassing (since the dog poo, supposedly, didn’t come from you), would be neater and over with quicker.

Were you born in the right time period?
I’ve often felt that I would have liked to live in the 50’s for the music, décor, cars and clothes. But had I grown up then, I probably wouldn’t be enjoying the full extent of personal freedoms that are available to women now. So I’ll just appreciate such things from THE FUTURE.

Have you ever failed a class?
Not officially. But I got a D in statistics in college, and since it was meant to satisfy my math core requirement, apparently a D doesn’t cut the mustard. I had to take the damn thing twice, fairing a C the second time. Math. Is. Hard.

Where do most of your calories come from?
Bread-based products.

Which would you rather fight, zombies or vampires?
Only The Slayer or someone who is into death-defying feats would pick vampires, whatwith vamps being super strong and fast. To quote Snow Day, Bloody Snow Day, zombies “really aren’t that hard to kill, and for a non-violent layperson as myself, that is a much more appealing foe.

What seven TV characters would you invite to dinner?
Spike, Young Lex Luthor, Davis, Veronica Mars, Anyanka, The Doctor, Jeri Blank.

What five literary characters would you like to receive a letter from?
Ignatius J. Reilly, Seymour Glass, Lestat de Lioncourt, Ford Prefect, Patrick Bateman.

Are you a leader or a follower?
If it’s something I’m interested in, I don’t mind leading. At work I’m a follower because I’m lazy.

Wolverine or Cyclops?
This should be a rhetorical question but since it’s not, Wolverine.

Compose your own haiku illustrating how you feel at this moment.
I hope that my work
Computer is no longer
Being monitored

What is your worst habit?
Forgetfulness.

What is your favorite animated movie?
The Fox and The Hound

Who would play you in the biopic based on your life?
Who would I want? Michelle Williams. Who would they pick? Probably Selma Blair. And she’d have to “bravely” gain a ton of weight for the role.

What was your favorite cartoon as a child?
Transformers.

Have you ever been a story on the news or in a newspaper?
Nope. But I had a brief stint as a youth correspondent for the junior page of my local paper.

What was your favorite TV station in grade school?
I suppose it was probably Nickelodeon. Or USA (Up All Night).

What do you think about the indoor smoking ban?
Well, I voted against it. That being said, I do enjoy not waking up smelling like smoke, but I don’t enjoy everyone at the table leaving me alone to go outside and have a cigarette at regular intervals.

Do you love anything that embarrasses you to admit, like romance novels or Eddie Murphy movies?
I love things that I perhaps SHOULD be embarrassed about. But I’m not ashamed of the joy I receive from the craptasticness of Tru Calling or Walker, Texas Ranger.

May 8, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

1. You have 10 bucks and need to buy snacks at a gas station, what do you get?
Cheddar Chex Mix, water and possibly a coke if I need the caffeine.

2. If you had to be reincarnated as some sort of sea dwelling creature, what would you be?
Dolphin. They’re smart, well-respected, and are one of the few mammals besides humans that have sex for fun as well as procreation.

3. Who's your favorite redhead?
Joss Whedon. Honorable mention goes to Jason Flemyng. Rowr.

4. What do you order when you're at a IHOP?
Lingonberry crepes.

5. Last book you read?
Currently reading Preacher vol. 7.

6. Have you made out with anyone on your friend's list?
Yep.

7. Describe your favorite pair of underwear?
Superman skivvies.

8. Describe the last time you were injured.
As a gimp, I’m technically injured all the time. But my last additional injury was a big drunken bump on my head.

9. Of all your friends, with whom would you want to be stuck in the middle of a jungle with?
Dom the boy scout.

10. Are there any odd things that make you feel uncomfortable?
The word “panties”.

11. Are there any weird things that turn you on?
Apparently, body hair and soft tummies are weird to like.

12. What is the wallpaper on your cell phone?
My true love, Optimus Prime.

13. Soda?
Sure. Ta.

14. Flavor of pudding?
Rice.

15. What type of shirt are you wearing?
No shirt. Dress.

16. Prescription medication?
The pill that keeps me baby free.

17. If you could use only one form of transportation for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Teleportation.

18. How many people are on your friends list?
This is a myspace meme, by the way. And I don’t feel like logging on to check. But I think it’s somewhere around 100.

19. How many people on your list do you know in real life?
Damn you, myspace meme. Leave me be. I’m going to guess it’s about 70%, the rest being bands, cities, or fictional characters.

20. What are you listening to right now?
Indie 103.1

21. Most recent movie you've watched?
Dead and Breakfast. Blech.

22. Most useless class you have ever taken:
A “feel guilty for being white” class I took in college that was disguised as a Sociology core class.

24. Name a teacher you had the hots for?
Wade Williams.

25. What is a saying that you use a lot?
”That’s cool.” (As oppose to “no worries”, which I can’t bring myself to say without feeling fake.)

27. What is your favorite part of the chicken?
The whole thing alive and in my lap.

28. What's your favorite town/city?
Seattle, WA.

29. Favorite kind of cake?
This caramel cake my mom used to make. She called it Torta Chilena.

30. What's the first word that comes to mind right now?
Cake. Thanks, question #29.

32. What makes you feel like puking?
Red Bull. The mere thought of it.

33. Who got you to join myspace?
Frank.

34. What did you have for dinner?
Haven’t had it yet. But I expect to indulge in a bevy of cheeses and cocktails at my work cocktail party.

35. How long have you been at your current job?
2 and a half years too long.

36. Is Tom on your friends list?
I don’t remember if I bothered to delete him or not.

37. What's the last thing you said out loud?
Ok. Thanks.

38. Look to your left, what do you see?
My purple unicorn.

39. Who is the last person who spent $100 on you?
My mom, actually. She’s REALLY worried about me going back to living alone for some reason..

40. Who's your favorite villain?
Rufus Sewell.

41. What’s the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
I can’t remember. Hardly ever happens.

42. What's the last piece of clothing you bought?
New underpants to replace the ones with the holes.

43. What phrase makes you laugh no matter where, when or how?
Snack Pack.

44. Go into your text message log on your phone…what is the last text you sent?
I don’t know, actually. I just deleted my outbox this morning because it was getting full. Probably something about plans.

45. If you could be alone with anyone and a bottle of baby-oil right now who would it be?
Ew. They should rephrase this question to be “if you HAD to be alone with a bottle of baby oil and another person”.

46. What keeps you up at night?
Stress.

47. What’s to your right?
Glass of water and a picture of Tobe.

48. What was the subject of the last person who posted this?
I can’t remember.

49. If you were extraordinarily good at one thing, what would it be?
I AM extraordinarily good at a couple of things. But if I could pick something I’m currently bad at and become extraordinarily good at it, it would have to be playing music. I’m very jealous of all my talented musician friends.

50. Yes or no?
Yes?

April 27, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment