XXX Files Re-Opened

mulder slutDlisted reports that David Duchovny is, in fact, a skank and it was the old “Don’t divorce me for cheating” compromise that sent him to “rehab” after all. I know that the “sources” come from the National Enquirer and Us Weekly so there still aren’t any hard facts here. I want to believe that Mulder isn’t a manslut but it doesn’t make sense that a wifey as down-to-earth seeming as Tea Leoni would force him to do something so humiliating over a little web surfing. In this case, Scully’s Razor stands.

NFT Radar: Shorty’s

If there is a heaven, I imagine it is a lot like Shorty’s. Here, a pocket full of quarters will buy you an evening in their pinball room full of old favorites like Medieval Madness and Monster Bash, plus more recent nerd fare such as The Lord of the Rings and the new Indiana Jones game. Yes, it references that silly crystal skull, but it also has mini replicas of the Ark of the Covenant, the Holy Grail and a Sankara Stone (What? It’s COOL!). When you tire of flippers and plungers, trade them in for buttons and joysticks and kick it with Mario or destroy some asteroids. But this isn’t just an arcade time capsule. There is also plentiful booze and hot dogs (both veggie and mystery meat) which will energize you enough to return to your alien-battling mission. If you’re feeling tropical, try one of their “Boozie Smoothies”, a slushie-like beverage that’s rumtastic. It comes with an umbrella. That swell secret bar in the back is available for private party rentals too. Man, I love this place.

shorty's
2222 2nd Ave 98121
206-374-0569
www.shortydog.com

X-Posted from Not For Tourists.

ANTM: The Eleventh Time’s a Charm

As per usual, I sat down with a group of friends to watch the new cycle of America’s Next Top Model. I expected Tyra take the crazy up another notch. I expected a bunch of dumb little strips of bacon to embarrass themselves in front of a panel of judges. I even expected the tranny (thanks to a media tip-off). But there were two things I didn’t see coming…

antm 111) The special effects. Apparently Tyra is a really big “Who Wants To Be A Superhero?” fan because she totally stole their state-of-the-art lightening and beaming effects. She also clearly worked with a cyborg dialect coach. Excelsior!

2) I actually LIKE some of these girls. That hasn’t happened in forever. I was pretty convinced that every aspiring model in the world was a small-minded, selfish, vapid, evil backstabbing bitch.

But while Isis (the tranny) comes off as a little slow, she also seems like a really good person. She works at a non-profit and she is actually a trained model. She even impressed Noted Fashion Photographer Nigel Barker with her lighting knowledge (though not so much with her booty which the camera caught him checking out. That was a yuck face if I’ve ever seen one.)

I was really impressed by McKey (Mmmkaaaay) who stood up for Isis when the clear villain of the cycle, Clark (with no E), was picking on her. I predict that the Alaskan Moose Girl is going to be brainwashed and become Clark(e)’s minion. I hope I’m wrong, but right now I’m a little down on unworldly Alaskans.

Additionally, I’m pulling for Marjorie to stop slouching, speak up and show everybody what her lanky Fronch arse can do. What she needs is a lesson from Benny Ninja. But really, don’t we all?

I also dig Sheena. She’s loud (in a Rosie Perez kinda way) but earnest, confident (real confidence, not fakey model confidence that comes from extreme insecurity) and positive about herself and her fellow contestants.

I’m glad they kept our home-town girl, Elina, but I see many facets of her personality (vegan, pants-only lesbian) becoming stumbling blocks in future challenges. She is screwed the day they do the “cock skirt” photo shoot. But at the very least, there will be some interesting hot tub scenes before she goes.

The rest of the girls’ personas, if they exist, have yet to emerge. But I can’t wait to see what happens. My early prediction, barring any unforeseen disaster, is that Isis will take it. She really knows her stuff and looks great on camera. Tyra wants to give it to the tranny SO BAD. If Isis wins, she will be able to afford the full operation and we know how Tyra likes to take credit for everything she possibly can.